So i've been with this girl for about 6 months now. We had know eachother for about a year because we worked together but we didnt talk for another 6 months or so after she had gotten a new job.
She had randomly hit me up one day on snapchat and jokingly said DTF? and it actually happened that night, which is weird because I never saw myself actually hooking up with this girl, ever.
After we had hooked up we had a little "bed talk" or whatever you wanna call it and anyways she had said that we'd definitely have to do it again as a FWB kind of thing. The following day she had hit me up asking to come hang out, no fucking, and we did just that, but even later that same day we ended up hooking up again and hanging out for a little bit once again.
I'm going to save little details but it eventually turned into a seeing eachother every damn day thing for about a month and a half, we did acid, smoked, fucked, had "slumber parties" like she liked to call it and we basically whenever we weren't together we were talking about being with eachother.
It eventually turned into a relationship and we had been together for about 6 months up until 3 days ago. She loved me and I loved her. We actually had went on a 5 day vacation last week, and the following morning (saturday) I was back to work and shot her a message as a normally would and she ended up telling me "im not in the mood" after the 2nd text from me 3 hours later asking why she wont respond to my goodmorning text. Later that night after I got off my 2nd job she basically just said "I dont wanna do this anymore. I feel like you put in more effort than I do, and I can't handle how upset you get when I cant give you what you want".
I let her have her way but I showed up to her house 2 days later to apologize for making her feel like she couldnt give me what I was giving her and put all the blame on myself, but she continues to angrily insist that this relationship was something she never wanted (we originally told eachother we didnt even want a relationship anyhow, but it still happened for the right reason, or so I thought). and that finally, she just wants to 'figure out what she's doing' on her own, and 'doesn't want to have to rely on someone for happiness'. Ive been going back and forth with her the last 2 days trying to convince her that there's a reason were together and that shes overthinking things and that she shouldn't feel the need to convince herself that just because she didn't WANT it to turn into a relationship, that it doesn't mean she just has to take a 180 degree turn and completely drop our relationship.
Does anyone feel like they've ever been in this position? I've been asking for her to give it one more chance, and to just give it one more day but she just keeps telling me its not what she wants and that she's just better off alone. I just can't sit back and tell her im okay with her making this decision after we had spent several months happy and in love. she says she still loves me, and cares about me, and swears that she doesn't want to start a new relationship with someone else, but insists that I just let her go. I feel crazy that I have to force her to believe that it isn't a bad thing that this relationship came to be, or maybe that Im selfish I cant just let her have what she wants, because I find it so hard to believe that she could just make a 180 just like that.
I never forced it to become a thing. Whenever she had mentioned our agreement (that we didnt want a relationship) I took a step back, but she still continued to invite me into her life when clearly the control was hers.
One last thing I forgot to mention, I told her I just wanted one last chance to sit down and discuss this shit. Or to just be together and maybe she can decide maybe she's making a mistake. She finally agreed that we can see eachother after work tomorrow (we work together at one of my jobs) and I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do. I don't feel like I should have to be convincing my girl what's right for her, but I just can't comprehend her thought process on this whole situation, I've been raking my mind for the right words to say to her but I feel like i've exhausted every word that could motivate her to think differently about the situation.
I had some crazy idea to do one more acid trip with her and spend some kind of special night together. Im only convinced that this is a good idea because I swear I realized how in love WE were the first time I had tripped with her (the following morning after our first trip she actually asked me "am i your girlfriend", even though I would've never dared to ask her that). I doubt she'd be willing to try it, but I need to keep this girl in my life. Maybe Im selfish because she doesn't feel the same way, and most people i've talked about this to already have basically just told me to give her time, but I just feel like time isn't what will fix this. Im convinced that she will 100% never reconsider her decision if I'm not actively fighting for her back.
bumping for advice
she doesn't want to be with you and you can't change it
