disabled girl with intimacy issues

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Anonymous
disabled girl with intimacy issues 2016-06-20 07:40:39 Post No. 17274018
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disabled girl with intimacy issues Anonymous 2016-06-20 07:40:39 Post No. 17274018 [Report]

Hey there, /adv/, I'm 24 and have had two brain surgeries that set me back pretty far in life. For the longest time, I considered myself asexual but am finally starting to realize it was most likely the pain and medications that killed my sex drive...recently I have been getting both under control and have felt desire? for the first time in my life. However, I seem to have a lot of intimacy issues as result and any time someone shows interest in me, I freak out.

I guess my question is, how do you over come something like this? How do I stop freaking out over intimacy? I want to actually have a proper relationship, but can't get passed the feeling of disgust I get as soon as someone shows actual romantic (sexual) interest, even if I like them...I don't want to be a tease and hurt someone. I've never been molested, no daddy issues, never been hit, abused, etc. so I don't understand the mental block.

What's wrong with me? How does one get past intimacy issues that are deep rooted?

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Anonymous 2016-06-20 07:41:36 Post No.17274021
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Anonymous 2016-06-20 07:41:36 Post No.17274021 [Report]

How fucked up is your shit?

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Anonymous 2016-06-20 07:51:17 Post No.17274041
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Anonymous 2016-06-20 07:51:17 Post No.17274041 [Report]

>>17274021
it was pretty bad a year or so ago as I wasn't able to get out of bed most days and could barely walk while recovering/in pain management, but nowadays I'm able to function normally enough and off all medicines except one. my only issue is nerve damage in my neck that makes it hard for me to stand for long periods of time and temporal lobe epilepsy that was a side effect of one of my brain surgeries (but it's been successfully controlled by medicine for over a year).

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Anonymous 2016-06-20 07:51:38 Post No.17274042
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Anonymous 2016-06-20 07:51:38 Post No.17274042 [Report]

>>17274018
>For the longest time, I considered myself asexual

There's the source of your problem. You missed out on a lifetime (or at least a decade) of learning the game of romance and sexuality. It is not so much that you reject sex as that you shy away from something that everyone else knows how to do so much better than you.

Well, suppose (as may have happened) your illness kept you out of school and you never learned basic arithmetic. A crash course of studying to catch up would be in order, even if it involved the embarrassment of stumbling.

Hold off on the sex for a while. Make yourself socialize until you feel more at home in emotional closeness to people. Eventually you'll find someone who you feel close enough to to not be repelled by the thought of intimacy.