we have 2 kids age 4 and 1. we've been together since high school. she has a lot of medical problems and recently had to have a hysterectomy. because of the problems and hormones shes been on we haven't had sex regularly in a year. i play a lot of online video games and will admit im lazy and at times distant. she has had a lot of mental problems recently and been on a lot of psych meds. the usual is too much stress and anxiety. she has worked for the past couple year while i worked on and off from home and took care of the kids.
anyways, after the surgery she met a paramedic she liked and they became friends, i wasn't aware till she had him come by to bring her some medical supplies. something afterwards just didnt feel right, i thought i was just being jealous but decided to get drunk and snoop around her facebook. surely enough i found a huge message thread. her professing her attraction to him, talking about things she wanted to do to him and him to her. she was the aggressive one in the conversation. the first message i read was "glad you finally want me inside of you" and, "how are you doing with the guilt" to which she replied "its hard to feel guilty when you feel unloved" then he said not at his house cause he had kids and she said her house wouldn't be a good idea etc. im almost sure nothing had happened yet because of dialogue from after i discovered this.
so i confronted her in the shower, lots of threats and anger were expressed, she said she was just using him to get medical supplies and thought he was old(44) and weird. after that was when i found her sexually explicit messages towards him. then it turned into "your never there for me" and "i wish i had the balls to actually cheat" now things are terrible, she constantly takes ambien and gets drunk and passes out, always talking about killing herself and stuff. because of that i cant vent, i cant yell. i have to be cautious because she was already a mental case before hand.
im super sad and distraught now. shes my only real friend, she was with me through my mom dying and lives with me and my kids and grandmother. one of our children in medically fragile and requires constant care. so in the end without her i have nothing, havent had anything but her in 10 year (give or take the rocky parts). so what now? im at a loss.
have you tried being there for her?
>>17285660
professional counseling, especially where she's under medication
>>17285692
>have you tried just being yourself?
Ftfy
>>17285660
Dude you married crazy. BUT that's okay, we all make misakes. What you need to do is take her to professional help. Like an actual psych ward or a hapoy farm or something.
>>17285785
Have you ever been married? Or in a ltr? I'm not trying to be condescending but you sound young and somewhat inexperienced to adult relationships.
>>17285663
>always talking about killing herself and stuff. because of that i cant vent, i cant yell. i have to be cautious because she was already a mental case before hand.
Bring this up with her when she accuses you of not loving her or giving her attention. You have needs and feelings too, but if you can't express any negative feelings then any good feeling will be stunted. She has to be open to criticism and take responsibility, and, sadly, if she can't then you need to try to move on. Mental illness isnt a free pass to hurt someone who loves you or keep them prisoner in a relationship. She sounds like a person who will only hurt you and when you're in your 40s, you'll be asking yourself why it had to be this way when it doesn't.
>>17285811
8 years and going strong. I was the one who needed help. It's stressful, it really is. I had depression, stress, anxiety, and it all kept spiraling on itself. Eventually in our senior year of college, she convinced me to take advantage of the free psychiatric visits.
We worked through some stuff and found a huge aource of stress that had to be cut out. Slowly I'm relaxing more and learning to enjoy life. It's taken time, and will probably take years, but after seeing the stress I was putting her through I knew I had to change.
Now her smile kills me. She's the sweetest woman and she helps me each day. In return I try to be there whenever she needs me.
So yes I have been in a long term relationship. I know my first post was a joke, but you really need to get your wife help. I understand where she's at right now. She'll question everything and believe that she's felt like this her whole life. You need a professional to get you her of that mindset before she ruins everything she cares about.
>>17285660
kill her
three way with the medic?
