I think I need to end my LTR. we've been together 5 years at the end of the month, both just graduated college. We love each other but there's just been this bubbling tension and unsatisfaction on both ends. To make things tougher we live together. Our lease ends at the end of the summer so I think I should end it before we risign a lease somewhere and get in for another year. I love her so much tho, I don't know how to end it.
Bumping because I'm shameless.
I just read through the Unsent letter / confession or whatever thread on here and I can't stop crying. I'm afraid I'm gonna end up with pure regret for the rest of my life If I end this. Like I'll have lost my one shot at real love and it's never going to stop hurting. But I also can't stop my brain from thinking these stupid destructive thoughts. "I want to be alone. I want to live alone. I want to figure out who the fuck I really am. I want to play guitar for ten hours a day. I want to be different than who I am." But I'm so scared of doing the wrong thing and being lonely and broken from this mistake for my whole life.
>>17274636
>gonna end up with pure regret for the rest of my life If I end this
Pretty much. If you think you should fight for your relationship do it and don't chicken out. You can lose jobs and material shit but there is little next to losing a person forever and holding on to their memory.
Having identity problems? Great. Tell your partner that in the best possible way and ask for understanding. If your partner is awesome, he/she definitely will.
It's gonna be hard and it's gonna be though but if anything you'll end up with a stronger bond and partner.
>>17274540
Fucking talk to her and work on things with her.
Relationships have ups and downs. It's normal. What makes a good relationship is not not having down, but being able to talk about things and solve them.Talk to her and see what you can do together to fix it.
It's fine to be alone even if you're together, it's fine to take time to take time to figure out who you really are even while staying together.
She will support you and help you through this process, if she loves you.
Don't be a child.
>>17274673
I think this, but then I also think, I'm only 23. Should I be tying myself down so early and limiting myself before I really know anything about the world? I've never even lived outside the city I grew up. Should I really resign myself to so much bickering and questioning and dissatisfaction at 23? Sometimes I wish I had never even stuck around so long so it wouldn't be so painful to even think these questions.
>>17274685
I considered this. My worry is that I don't know how she'll react if I told her I wanted to live apart. It's like, why? Why take a huge step backwards? We've already been talking about marriage since we were 20. It would probably just cause her to break it off.
>>17274702
My boyfriend and I lived together for 3 years, then he went abroad for a year, then he moved back with me 6 months ago. It's not a huge deal - he followed his dreams and then moved back in with me when he did what he wanted to do.
You're trying to find yourself. If you need to spend more time alone, it's okay - even if you two share the house you can still spend time alone, just tell her. If you want to move away for a while, do it.
But if you think that "being alone" or "being somewhere else" will magically make you understand everything about yourself, you're a fucking idiot. Find an experience you want to do.
>>17274693
27 here, been with my first girl ever for over 4 years now.
Felt like this too so I know what you're feeling.
-Sexually speaking, the only 'limiting' thing is not being able to get intimate with anyone else. After thinking and overthinking it, I decided the grass isn't that greener and the sex is still pretty good even on bad days. It's what happens after sex that counts.
-Life experience speaking, I told her how I felt and she said she totally felt the same way. As such, we are few weeks about to give up on everything we have(including my job) and going with workaway.info for a few months.
A new start doesn't mean it can't include your partner anon. I am very very thankful to have such a supportive and loving person.
>>17274717
I know exactly what I "want" to do, and a lot of it just literally involves being alone. I want to lock myself in my room and play guitar for days on end. I want to go out on tour and be gone for long stretches of time. She doesn't like the idea of either of those. I told her I wanted to tour in the fall and be gone for several weeks to a month. She started crying and said we weren't going to work if I'd be gone like that so often (which I would if I'm """successful"""). Our server thought I had dumped her right there in the restaurant.
then of course we just brushed it off because we love each other and don't want to break up. But I've just been sitting here since that moment questioning everything.
>>17274727
Artists are not marriage material and she needs to either hop along on the tour or find a husbando material kind of guy. Your lives sound incompatible and mismatched but you need to talk to her about this.
>>17274757
We are definitely not, no. I'm fairly fucked in the head.
>>17274762
Well there you go. Maybe you should go be fucked in the head alone instead of dragging another human into your fucked up head.
When you see her with her new boyfriend and you're alone playing guitar like a hobo artist trying to make it, maybe that's when you'll either realized you fucked up or that you're happy being a lone ranger.
>>17274722
>giving up your job for some stupid site
fucking white kids these days
>>17274774
Man I don't feel like I'm ever gonna be happy. dreams fucking suck. You're very right.
