My bf used to cut himself and wants to do it again. I have no idea what to tell him or do about it.
Tonight he texted me that he has a blade and that someone made fun of his family member's death, and I had no idea what to say. Sure I said that this person was uncool for making fun of that person's death, but then I got insensitive and asked about that family member's death (it happened before we started dating) and he told me "do I look like I want to talk about this"
and well that was two hours ago, I apologized for asking this, and we stopped talking.
I just have no idea what to do or tell him, and I can't go to his place atm. Even so, I just feel like a really incompetent girlfriend and that I completely lack empathy. What to do when someone is getting self-harming urges? How can I be a good gf or at least a good friend about this? There's a limit to blowjobs I can do, especially since you can't text a bj :/ Plus I'm pretty sure that bj isn't the way to help him... I'm sure that guys expect more than just blowjobs from their girlfriends.
>>17273405
>Even so, I just feel like a really incompetent girlfriend and that I completely lack empathy.
You're fine. You can't empathize with crazy. You understood that he may have been upset because someone did something dumb like make fun of a dead family member, which is horrible. That's the same level of empathy that any normal person would employ to understand why someone would feel upset - because he may have been close to the dead family member and hearing a joke about the death may have been hurtful.
To empathize with cutting, you'd have to understand why someone would want to self-harm, and if you've never done it, how could you know why these weirdos do what they do?
>>17273405
>I got insensitive and asked about that family member's death (it happened before we started dating) and he told me "do I look like I want to talk about this"
You weren't being insensitive, he's just being a bitch about it.
>>17273405
Dump him. Fucking autistic attention whore.
It is admirable that you're trying to stick with him through tough times but it sounds like he may use that to manipulate you into opening your legs, or in this case your mouth.
>>17273424
He told me that he was really close to that family member, who was his whole life, and that the major reason why he's cutting himself is because he has been in jail before and might end up in jail again depending on his upcoming trial. He told me that he's really ashamed of this and is extremely anxious about this, to a point where he feels the need to cut himself.
I understand this, or at least I think I understand why he would want to cut himself, considering what's happening in his life, but... I still don't know what to do about it. I'm sure that he's expecting support from me, especially since I told him that I'm helping another friend with his suicidal ideas, but I just have no idea how with my bf. I feel like anything I'd say would be really insensitive because he keeps telling me that he doesn't want to talk about it when I ask questions, and then I just get scared to say anything.
>>17273424
>>17273424
Kids are terrible. Either the girl is making it up for attention, which is terrible, or she is telling the truth and the other kids are 2edgy4me
>>17273441
Just want to say that it's not that my bf is like "oh I wanna cut myself so suck my dick", it's just that it's the only way I can think of for distracting him. Sure, sex works for a night, but then the night after... And I'm sure that when he replies to me like that, killing my mood for sex, he's also not in the mood for sex either. Is there any way for me to cheer him up or distract him from cutting himself that isn't just sex? When he replies to me like that, should I feel guilty for not talking to him the rest of the night or should I force a conversation, and if so, how?
>>17273446
>He told me that he's really ashamed of this and is extremely anxious about this, to a point where he feels the need to cut himself.
People become alcoholics for things like this, or turn to other substances. Or withdraw emotionally. Or turn their pain into creativity through expression with art. While these things aren't necessarily good (except the latter), they are normal reactions. Reactions with which you can empathize.
Mentally ill degenerates cut themselves and go "Ahh, much better."
I can imagine an alcoholic drinking to forget problems like a death in the family or some other traumatic event. Taking a razor and cutting small scratches into your arm? I can't imagine how it makes someone feel better or helps them deal with the problem.
Op stop dating emofag and please don't have kids with that nut job
