I've been on a relationship with my bf for half a year. I've been thinking about breaking up for over a month. Amongst other reasons, I'm generally unhappy and I don't like the person I become when I'm with him.
That alone was already a tough issue for me to deal with, I just can't stand knowing I'm hurting people. This last couple of weeks a mutual friend of ours became closer to me. At first it wasn't anything serious, it just happened that we started being together more often, but suddenly it was pretty clear we were falling for each other. We talk all the time, every time he has a break he comes to see me, then there's the tickles, the hugs, the kisses on the forehead...
The thing is, it has to stop. He isn't single either. He's been with his gf for several years and they're living together. He's about to finish his studies and start a life. His life is settling down and I'm probably just the new thing, I think his feelings will fade eventually.
I really don't want to hurt anyone, but I need to do something. I need to break up with my bf because this is not what I want. I have to talk some sense into my friend, he's old enough to know he can't just throw away a longterm healthy relationship just because he has feelings for me. I know those are the right things to do, but I just can't find the guts. How can I detach from my feelings and fears and just do the right thing?
Part of bravery is doing something despite the fear. If you know this is what you want, and it in the long run is the healthiest and more honest way than use that as the crutch you need to enact these changes.
you are already having an emotional affair with this other guy, and are wronging your bf. It is best to either fix what is broken with your bf or move on with your single life.
Your fear most likely stems from the unknown waiting on the other end and knowing that there is a good chance you'll be discovered as sharing intimate feelings with someone else.
Fuck all that. Time to write the next chapter of your life and turn the page girl.
I really want to make things right and move on with life... but god I don't have the heart to hurt anyone's feelings. It feels so easy in my head but I know that when I'm with either of them I won't be able to do it.
>>17267943
"Shit or get off the pot."
>>17267943
Your already hurting feelings. Having an emotional affair is almost worst than a physical one. Seeing your significant other love someone more than you is the most damaging shit.
If you really don't want to hurt feelings, cut your boyfriend loose and stop talking with the other guy. It's just not worth it to both ruin your boyfriends view on love and that guys girlfriend view too
>>17267738
>my friend is so immature he needs to understand you cant throw a healthy relationship away
>im doing the same thing and monkey branching
>pretending to be a victim this bad
Never trust a girl
>>17267738
for fucks sakes you dated him for 6 months, who cares? Dump him and continue to be the two faced pain in the ass you always were.
>>17267738
You've been together 6 months, just cut it off asap and don't tell him about your betrayal, he will get over it. Honestly the first moment you had thoughts of breaking up was your sign to do it right then and there, grow a pair of ovaries and pull the bandaid off.
>>17267738
>We talk all the time, every time he has a break he comes to see me, then there's the tickles, the hugs, the kisses on the forehead...
The relationship is cooked. Let him know you don't actually like him and stop communicating with him. It sounds harsh but breaking up is never easy so do it compassionately and as cleanly as possible. Let them know you're decision and that it is final and if they have any questions follow them up and after that stop contacting them. If they contact you, ask them to stop, if they don't then just tell them you are blocking them and block them.
>>17267738
The whole, sole and only point of a relationship is to make you both happy.
If it doesn't, there is no reason for it.
Girls never get this.
By trying to save his feelings and not breaking up with him you are doing more damage because then it's called cheating.
Just do it
>>17267738
Hi OP, at the end of the day, you need to just set a deadline in your head. Pick a day, practice being steadfast and resolute, and practice what you're going to say. Your boyfriend needs to know it's over, and he'll be happier again sooner rather than later if your relationship has only lasted six months, as opposed to a year or more. But do it for him.
As for the friend, well, you need to let him make his own decisions. Sure, he's just about to start a life, but who's to say that this isn't saving him from an inevitably greater disaster down the line?
People can't help who they love and care about. In no way am I saying you should be the person he cheats on his girl with, but you also shouldn't force yourself into making his problems your own.
Good luck, I have been in this situation twice myself.
>I've been thinking about breaking up for over a month.
You should've done the first week.
>He's been with his gf for several years and they're living together.
Don't get involved.
It's hard not being a slut.
