Would drunkenly confessing to having feelings for a female friend be likely to invoke a positive response?
I don't want to ruin the friendship between us, and the main way I can think of to not do such is, when we're at the same party, pretend to get wasted which I'm not known to do.
Then let all of what I feel go, and then push cuddles onto her and 'pass out' soon after.
Next day I pretend I don't remember what happened, and I think she won't want to hurt me, so will either act on what I said so that I'm surprised, or she'll never bring it up again.
Third thing is she tells me what happened, I act embarrassed, and we actually talk it out.
All three of these outcomes are positive to me.
I don't know if she has feelings for me, I suspect no, but I need to come forward with them eventually and this way I think will minimize the likelihood of fucking with our friendship.
Good idea or no?
Thanks.
>inb4 immoral
a: Atheist, I don't have morals, I have ethics.
b: I don't care that it's unethical, I'd do anything and say anything for a partnership at this point as long as it doesn't legitimately harm anyone.
>>17262255
>female friend
I cringed.
>>17262255
Would it ruin a friendship if you told a male friend you had the feels for him?
>>17262255
>Atheist, I don't have morals, I have ethics.
These words don't mean what you think they mean.
>Would drunkenly confessing to having feelings for a female friend be likely to invoke a positive response?
NOPE
If you absolutely need to get something off your chest, getting hammered first is absolutely not going to go as well as you think it will.
Also, you say you're going to PRETEND to get wasted? That is, somehow, an even worse idea. I promise you that you are not going to be convincing.
Also, the outcome which you have not anticipated (and which, by the way, is by far the most likely), is that she decides she does't want to continue to be friends with someone who pulls her aside and makes a bullshit grandiose confession of love when he gets drunk.
Don't worry, you won't be a teenager forever. Eventually you'll figure out how to interact with other people in non-idiotic ways.
Well, think of it this way: would soberly confessing to having feelings for her be likely to invoke a positive response? If not, then drunkenly confessing would likely have the same effect.
>>17262538
Not necessarily. If he's a homophobic person or is extremely empathetic, yes.
>>17262559
a: fine
b: I highly doubt it based on the kind of person she is and the relationship we have.
c: You have no idea how autistic I am, friend. Learning how to interact with people/strangers, specifically normies, does not interest me in any way. And aside from finding one stable partnership, has nothing to benefit me.
Drinking just makes you say the things you wanted to say anyway. She knows this and I do too.
It's idiotic, but telling her normally is complete relationship suicide because I can't deny I remember it, leaving tension on both sides.
>>17262584
>asks for advice: "Is this a good idea?"
>3 diff anons all answer no
>argues for a yes
Why did you even come here? It's a bad idea, deal with it.
>>17262581
She knows I'm a borderline autistic fucklord recovering shutin with a bad string of failed relationships. She's similar. Very shy, quiet, does more thinking than speaking.
We're good enough friends because of this.
This gives the impression that I was too scared to do it normally or didn't know how to say it.
She has the option of never bringing it up again.
>>17262523
I'm sorry anon, please enlighten me how to word it properly so I don't trigger you in the future :3
>>17262607
I'm sorry we're all not as blessed as you are with your romantic possibilities.
None of the arguments have convinced me because I don't think they apply to my situation. Thank you for your input regardless.
>why did I come here
Fuck if I can remember. I'm running out of ideas.
>>17262629
I... didn't say shit about my romantic possibilities?
Anon, we are trying to help you not fuck up your friendship. 100% serious. This is a post made in good faith.
If you've already made up your mind, though, go do it and stop wasting our time.
>>17262643
Thank you. I appreciate it
>>17262255
Let me fix that question for you senpai
>Would drunkenly confessing to having feelings for a female friend be unlikely to invoke a positive response?
Yes, very much so.
Happy?
Jesus, man, your actual plan bears only a passing resemblance to
>drunkenly confessing to having feelings for a female friend
If you were planning on actually getting drunk (or even just a little bit tipsy) and confessing your feelings, I'd be all for it. Even if the odds of success aren't great, I've seen a lot of threads like this on here, and I've come to firmly believe that manning up and just fucking telling her is better than sitting on her ass waffling about it for six months, no matter how much spaghetti you drop in the process.
But PRETENDING to get drunk, "pushing cuddles onto her" and then PRETENDING the next morning to have forgotten it all? She's not going to buy that for a second. She's going to see straight through you and be like, why the fuck are you being such a creep about this?
Just tell her, pussy. Whether or not you bring alcohol into it is your decision. I promise you just fucking telling her will have less of a chance of fucking up your friendship than going through with your asinine plan.
>>17262752
>>17262752
>>17262752
This.
If you try and pretend like you forgot the whole thing happened, she's going to call you out on it and you will drop x100 the spaghetti you would from just outright telling her how you feel
>>17262255
Stopped reading at 'pretend'.
Don't engineer this shit, you creepy thing. Life is not an anime. Sometimes this shit just happens, but if it hasn't just happened on it's own, don't contrive it, that's just... urgh... I'm physically recoiling, I can't even read any more of this shit.
Stop watching TV. Have a real life conversation once in a while.
>>17262752
Fucking this. Everyone understands going for the old liquid courage, it's not ideal but sometimes it's just gotta be done. But this whole 3 act play you've concocted in your head is some fucking creepy shit, OP.
Not usually one for response bandwagons, but basically, Op, fucking don't.
Now, let me put this in perspective.
I'm someone who hasn't had a meaningful interaction with someone outside my family for two years, actively avoids being invited anywhere, and can't hold a conversation without making other people uncomfortable without trying really hard.
And I still see that your plan is both stupid to the point of impossibility, and creepy in its premeditation.
Bite the bullet and tell her, or don't and deal with it. But don't do this shit, for your sake and hers.
>>17262255
1. Quit bringing everything into religion and morality. Most people don't like talking about that kind of stuff.
2. If you like all the outcomes, what is stopping you?
>>17262752
Because she cares enough about me that she'd stay if she knew, and she's had a boyfriend in the past who did in fact forget about everything the previous night when he was wasted. I know this for a fact. He would have left her (christian fundementalist) if he had recalled.
>>17262802
>>17262819
I don't care if I'm creepy anymore. I've spent too long being worried over how I'm coming off. It's no longer a relevant factor to me. As long as I'm not following her around and putting cameras in her house I think I'm ok. I've played fair, I've been honest, I've been legitimate and it's gotten me nowhere. Some women- even 6/10s to 4/10s, act as though I'm a completely different species when I hint at interest towards them, and disregard me for being creepy. (Honest and straightforward). Playing fair is something chads never do.
>>17263531
You feel strongly for her right? You respect her? Then own up to your feelings. I had someone do to me what you're going to do to her. denied he liked me the day after, gaslighted me with his denials of what he did, and it ruined the friendship because I didn't trust him anymore.
>>17263522
1: It's the internet, not your safe space. Christianity is surprisingly prevalant on 4chan and moreso on this board. I was expecting some morally righteous to tell me I shouldn't.
2: Those are the outcomes I thought will happen. And I don't like the one where she tells me what happened.
What's stopping me is waiting/checking for any possible better plan, or new convincing information/anecdotes That this one is stupid.
>>17263535
It's with these kinds of girls that when I own up to them honestly, they don't have enough social skill to know how to accept my affection, but still tell me no. So they give me a false yes, I fall deeper (thinking that she loves me and wants me to be happy, same as I feel for her, thinking how wonderful it is), and she pulls out suddenly, leaving me much more hurt, and thinking there's still that 'yes' somewhere in there.
I'm sorry he/she did that. But there is one key difference: if she tells me that I told her that I have feeling for her, I'm going to act disappointed in myself and ashamed but not deny it. And we will talk about it then.
This gives her time to think it over and to approach it in whatever way she chooses when she's ready. Morning after or a year later.
I grew up in a fucking abusive household. And have had awful experience in this area in the past.
I do what I know I have to in order to secure some form of happiness for myself. I tell half truths or technical truths.
I would never do this if I didn't know I'd be a good partner and appreciate her.
First of all you won't convince anyone you're wasted unless you're an amazing actor, which I doubt you are or they are retarded.
Secondly, nothing good will come out of confessing drunk. At best she'll brush it off as drunk rambling and brush it off. At worse it will make things very awkward between you 2 and you will stop talking to eachother. Most likely something in between will happen.
Stop acting like such a faggot and just tell her you like her and that you want to date her. While you're sober.
>>17263566
You forgot to think of another possible outcome of, she feels embarassed and doesn't bring it up because she could also like you too and is scared of bringing it up in case you really don't remember and didn't mean to do that. Or she doesn't want to embarass you and doesn't bring it up. Or, she gets freaked out and runs away after you try to push cuddles on her, and never speaks to you again.
Why don't you just (if you can) cuddle with her IF SHE WANTS TO, bring it up the next day yourself like 'hey sorry about last night, i was drunk ;) couldn't help myself'. Then you can gauge from her reaction if she wants you to add onto that with 'You're so adorable I see you like a little sis' or 'I think you're really cute'. i think that's an easier and better plan since it's more in your hands
>>17263587
It would be my 'first time' so it would be normal for me to be acting different. And it doesn't effect all people the same. I've been around them, I know.
If I go to her tomorrow and tell her, she'll know that I planned to tell her. I thought about it, I went to her, and dropped that bombshell, and expect her to deal with it immediately.
In my idea, I can pass it off as though I'm way too shy and scared to tell, or that I cared enough about her happiness that I wouldn't bother her with it. That I care enough about our friendship that I'd hide it and deal with it on my own, but of course, my inhibitions loosened and I let it out.
As I said previously, it's then up to her decision of how to follow up. Morning after or a year from then; surprise me with a big wake-up hug, tell me frankly and have a talk about it or never mention it again. It's up to her and she can take her time.
I've been hurt in this way before. When stress hits, I will make the right call. My profession and safety has always relied on it. I don't have that same presumption of many others around me.
"I'm panicking, I can't do this right!" -Others.
She knows as I do that drinking just makes you say the things you already wanted to say.
>>17263531
>I don't care if I'm creepy anymore
That's good, cause there is literally a 0% chance of your little sitcom master plan ending any other way.
>>17262255
>Then let all of what I feel go, and then push cuddles onto her and 'pass out' soon after.
That's fucking creepy as hell, anon. I'd cut contact if someone did that to me, even if I liked them back. That's just not stable behavior. What would work, at least for me, is someone coming forward, expressing how they feel, and not being a pushy fuck.
>>17263613
That's my fault, I wasn't too clear in the OP. I'm not going to tumblr-rape her and force it. What you said about that is more correct.
She's smart and assertive, I don't think that outcome is likely. I'm going to be sober as a nun, I don't trip on my words. She'll know that I intended to do it, and have been meaning to but have been holding it back.
I will consider your suggestion, it's not bad. Thank you
>>17262255
>and then push cuddles onto her and 'pass out' soon after.
Please explain how you expect this to work. You want to get her alone, confess while pretending to be drunk, then expect her to lie down and cuddle with you? God, please try this and post results.
>>17263531
>Because she cares enough about me that she'd stay if she knew,
You mean you HOPE she cares enough. And if you actually expect her to completely disregard her own feelings and go out with you because she 'knows' you like her and she wouldn't want to 'hurt you', then you are an entitled little faggot and trying to look for ways to control her without putting any direct blame on yourself.
Stop it. You will NEVER feel true love and appreciation this way, only the vague, short lived sense of it.
>>17263619
Nothing's ever a 0%, or a 100%.
You have no idea how much I'd like to do it a normal, non-autismo way... but it will not work.
I don't care what society calls creepy. They'd call me such if I brought flowers to a second date if I read the situation wrong. 'creepy' is arbitrary, and like everything arbitrary, I refuse to acknowledge it's legitimacy.
>>17263620
And then she tells me no right there, I start to cry, I ask why, I ask what I did wrong, and everything gets worse from there. She feels like shit for doing that, I feel like shit because a person I liked a lot for the past 2 years just threw sand in my eyes, and we lose our friendship.
I don't care what's creepy. Creepy is arbitrary and is just something that people want me to consider, to limit my maneuvering space. To fuck with it.
>>17263628
She's a nursing student. She'd just want me to rest to get the shit out of my system and try to keep me from crying for the night.
>>17263637
She'd stay my friend even if I had these feelings for her.
You're putting words in my mouth. I'd never ask her to pretend to love me for my own sake.
I'll never feel true love and appreciation anyway else. Even ugly fat pigs treat me like I'm part of a different species. Every woman has except her, she respects my intellect and sense of humor, all that shit.
>>17263639
Ok dude, like I said go for it and please for the love of god report back to us in great detail how it went.
>>17263566
If you can't even be honest with such a simple thing, then you are not going to be a good partner! Jesus christ, go to fucking therapy and look up the symptoms of entitlement because wooboy!
>>17263651
I can be honest, but I know it won't work.
>>17263650
Oh sure, for you who offered no real help, I'll do that. Would you like greentext or pastebin?
>>17263660
Greentext I guess, just be sure to spare no detail. I want to feel like I was there.
>>17263531
>I don't care if I'm creepy anymore.
>I don't care if I make other people uncomfortable in the pursuit of getting what I want
>I've spent too long being worried over how I'm coming off.
>I don't care about how I come off anymore, that's why I'm crafting this elaborate face-saving ruse to someone who supposedly cares for my comfort because I'm terrified of what she might say, instead of just being honest with her and trusting that she won't hurt me
>>17263566
>It's with these kinds of girls that when I own up to them honestly, they don't have enough social skill to know how to accept my affection, but still tell me no. So they give me a false yes, I fall deeper (thinking that she loves me and wants me to be happy, same as I feel for her, thinking how wonderful it is), and she pulls out suddenly, leaving me much more hurt, and thinking there's still that 'yes' somewhere in there.
Sure, it's everyone's problem but yours.
Maybe your manipulative behaviour put these girls in a position where they didn't feel like they could say no, maybe your behaviour went beyond the social norms they reasonably knew how to deal with (which, for the record, is exactly where this shit you're trying to pull falls).
Or maybe they were genuinely interested and pulled out because you're exactly as terrible a partner as people are judging you to be, and noped the fuck out of there once they saw it.
And isn't this friend of yours supposed to be different? Haven't you been saying how you know what she'll do, how sure you are that she'd try not to hurt you?
Romantic relationships are built on trust. You cannot build one on lies and manipulation. If you don't trust this girl with your feelings, you don't trust her enough to be with her. And she sure as shit can't trust you.
>>17263617
>and expect her to deal with it immediately.
Or you can just tell her and say, "you don't have to say anything right now, just hit me up whenever."
>That I care enough about our friendship that I'd hide it and deal with it on my own
That is fucking creepy. That's not caring, that's being a fucking weirdo.
The normal response to liking someone is to simply ask them out. 'Shielding' them from your feelings as if they're some shameful secret, the only thing they're going to get out of that is "there's something wrong with this person." Because obviously there is.
Why the fuck should someone want to be with you when you treat your feelings towards someone as a slight against them? Why should someone want to be with you when you treat their affection like a favour?
It worked for me
>have GF
>start new job
>hot newly married girl and I become friends
>lunch every day together
>bars after work sometimes
>just casual friends, we cuddled a few times but that was it
>end up leaving job, she gets pregnant and I got a better offer
>still friends on FB
>GF and I break up one night
>get really fucking hammered
>start talking to work friend on FB
>mention how much I wanted her back when we worked together
>she's friendly and inviting about it all
>says her husband wont be home tomorrow evening
>I stop by
>almost immediate blowjob
>wrecking this married pussy by the end of it all
>look back at messages I sent when I was drunk
>fucking cringe hard
>still fuck her once in awhile on the side.
And out of the 10+ other times this has happened, this is the only time it worked.
trust is the basis of every good relationship. 'confessing' is always an awful way to do anything because it dumps all this emotional baggage on someone and its not how relationships actually work.
you say you can't ask her out any other way buy that is wrong. just fucking ask her "hey I really enjoy spending time with you, want to go out?I know this great x place for y thing"
>>17263639
>You have no idea how much I'd like to do it a normal, non-autismo way... but it will not work.
"It will not work" meaning "I won't get what I want". Because a bloo bloo bloo, womens' ability to make decisions is interferring with my ability to get laid.
If you tell a woman how you feel and she rejects you, guess what: it worked fine! You presented an honest proposal and she made a personal decision.
>I start to cry, I ask why, I ask what I did wrong
Protip: just don't do that part.
Your attitude about this is completely fucking wrong and gross. Getting a date with someone is not about ticking certain boxes. There's no trick. They either like you or they don't. And they're far less likely to like you if you act like a douchebag and treat them like a dating sim where you insert kindness until sex falls out.
>a person I liked a lot for the past 2 years just threw sand in my eyes
There's nothing insulting about simply not liking you back.
If you can't handle the simple process of asking someone out, you can't handle a relationship. Seek therapy and fucking work on yourself instead of just repeatedly inflicting yourself on others like this then crying that it's not all going your way.
>implying religion is intrinsic to morality
Get over yourself, edgelord. If you don't have morals, you're just a self-serving dick. Morals are all about empathy and what you're proposing can be a shitty thing to put on a friend. Plus, you'd probably get a better response from her by sacking up and telling her straight than hiding behind a lie (which she would probably see through).
For your benefit and hers, try being a bigger man and being honest.
>>17264228
As I said in a reply, I didn't use to be manipulative. Being honest has never worked and I doubt it will. I wish it did.
>>17264647
>Being honest has never worked and I doubt it will. I wish it did.
...so you're being dishonest, in order to get what you want, because you feel she wouldn't give it to you if you were truthful and she really knew what she was getting into.
That's pretty much the definition of "manipulative." It also suggests that you really don't care about HER on any deep level, you just want a warm female-shaped person laying next to you and you don't give a fuck how it happens.
And your logic baffles me. If "honesty has never worked" when you were sober, why the fuck would it be any different if you were pretending to be drunk to spill out your feelings? You're still just telling her how you feel. Did you see this shit in a movie or something? I'm honestly curious how a "plan" like this even occurs to you
>>17264647
Well I'd say get really drunk and if your feelings are sincere you will do it. I've once drunkenly confessed my feelings to a girl I liked and she took it better than expected. No matter what the others tell you, I believe it is a better idea to get drunk than to act it.
This is the most autistic/creepy/delusional/retarded/desperate "plan" I've ever heard of, and this is coming from someone who back in middle school actually tried to come up with a "plan" to get a girl to like him.
>>17263639
>She's a nursing student. She'd just want me to rest to get the shit out of my system and try to keep me from crying for the night
what part of nursing school teaches you to cuddle with-
>and to keep me from crying for the night
oh god you plan on crying too!? holy shit dude.
>>17264682
But this guy's "sincere feelings" are "I just want to be with her and I don't care what I have to do to get her." If he gets blackout-drunk for real, this guy's turning into a rapist
I really expected a *tip fedora* at the end of OP.
You disappointed me OP.
>>17264279
I don't want to fuq her. I just want to hold her.
>>17264682
I speak better when sober.
I'm trying to melt her heart not make her wet her pants.
>>17264250
Why are you fucking a married woman?
>>17264669
I'm not lying. Lying is telling an un-truth. If she asks me if I planned it I'd say yes.
This is dishonest, not a lie. I'm implying something about the situation, she'll extrapolate one thing off of it.
>>17265048
It's amazing, every post is like you're competing with yourself in the "delusional autist olympics" and somehow manage to raise the bar every time.
>>17265073
It's hell inside my head, alone. You have no idea.
3 therapists have given up on me, I'm not sure what sanity I have left. My loneliness only makes my mental health decline further and further.
I just want love and affection and think that I will do better if I have it. Someone who actually gives a shit if I'm alive or dead. I just got a hug from her today and it was the first hug I've had in literally 13 months.
Society and normies try telling me that I shouldn't do this, I should be honest, I should play nice, I should play fair.
People in Detroit played honest, nice and fair. They worked in auto plants until they all failed. The CEOs didn't play honest/nice/fair and they all are fine now.
I've refused to be a victim any longer and will do what I have to.
I know that she will not accept me if I tell her 'normally', because I'm familiar with her. I suspect strongly that this is my best shot.
>>17264647
>Being honest has never worked
See
>>17264279
If you are such a flawed human being that no one will knowingly consent to being with you, maybe that's something you should work on, instead of trying to manoeuvre around it.
>>17265136
I agree, you're beyond help. Just so you know I'm the guy that was encouraging you to go full steam ahead with your plan and give us a full report after it's over, including a pic of the restraining order.
I can't bring myself to close this thread. If OP is baiting then 10/10 bravo, but I just can't look away from this. Literally everyone who's weighed in has told you in great detail why your plan will not work, and you counter all criticism with grand master tier mental gymnastics. You're like /r9k/ patient zero.
>>17265136
But mate, the ETHICS are barely even relevant. Even if you don't give a single fuck about honesty, I don't understand why you think this plan is a good plan.
You're going to PRETEND to be belligerently drunk (?) spill out all your feelings in a grand emotional confession, which girls HATE even if you're acting smooth, stable and sober. And then, apparently, you plan to grab her in a "forced cuddle" and pretend to fall asleep.
There is no possible scenario in which she has POSITIVE feelings from this encounter. In the best-case scenario, you make her feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. More likely, you're going to scare her and make her feel unsafe. A big, drunk, out-of-control guy who "jusssst wanna you 2 knw hw I feeeel" is not endearing, it's kind of threatening. And even if she's a fearless badass, it's still unwelcome.
This is just not how women work. She doesn't want to hear a speech about your feelings. Abort mission, dude.
>>17265319
I wish I was baiting. I very much wish I was baiting, anon.
Good luck, have fun
You know how not to run a friendship? Talk about it like a fucking adult man instead of being a child. Pull them aside, talk about something to read into the conversation, then just FUCKING DO IT: "Hey, so listen, I kind of pulled you aside because obey been thinking about something for a while now. You're really awesome and you've been on my mind more and more - maybe you noticed if I've been bending a bit differently - and i just wanted to get that off my chest. How do you feel about it?"
If positive: be happy and keep talking/walking/whatever
If negative: "Whew, well don't sweat it! You know, it feels good to just let that of - it's not nearly as scary as i thought it would be! It's too bad you don't feel the same, but it's OK! It might be a bit awkward for a little while but I'll get over my crush given a bit of time! Thanks for being straight with me! Let's get back to the party [change subject]"
After that, it's all on you. Don't be a bitter mopey bitch, remain friendly, don't talk about it or bring it up, focus on getting your mind away from it, engage yourself in school/work/hobbies and i guarantee you that you won't lose the friendship.
You'll also feel more confident that you had the balls to do it, AND she'll respect you more than before (eventually) for being able to handle it. Hell, after a while she might even come to stay cruising on you in return (BUT DON'T EXPECT IT).
>>17265416
I don't care about ruining the friendship. I care about what gives me the most chance of having her reciprocate my feelings. I know I should care, and I do, but me wanting to keep the friendship is secondary.
>>17266112
jesus fucking christ
When is the party? Just do it already.
>>17266112
>I care about what gives me the most chance of having her reciprocate my feelings.
She either reciprocates or she doesn't. How you tell her doesn't change that - unless you go about it in an extraordinarily weird, creepy, selfish and dishonest way as you plan to do.
Op, read this in its entirety and tell us how it affects your plan.
http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails
>>17266112
>I care about what gives me the most chance of having her reciprocate my feelings.
But your plan does not work in this respect, either. This isn't going to make her like you, ethics aside. We've been over this.
God damn. It's like talking to a brick wall that's really determined to embarrass itself
Please give us a post mortem update if you go through with this plan. But I highly suggest you do not. You can't go from zero to sixty like that. You gotta work her a bit
>>17266584
Funny and interesting, but there's not much similarity between me and him.
>>17266656
Yes there is. You both parlay a complete lack of understanding how social interaction works into absolutely absurd "plans" to get the girl a la some Bioware game.
You are a lot like him, and you won't do any better.
>>17262255
as someone that isn’t religious,that is unethical.
>Would drunkenly confessing to having feelings for a female friend be likely to invoke a positive response?
No
>>17266671
No, our OP is worse than 2ch’s OP.
［［［RAMEN POSTS］］］
>>17266656
Wow, this thread is actually still here?
You stupid, stupid fuck. You idiot. You cum-guzzling shit-moron. I don't know how you're not getting this, but let me break it down for you: we're telling you not to go through with your shit plan because it won't fucking work, not because we're, like, morally against it or whatever. We're against it because it's fucking stupid.
This is what's going to happen, you blithering dolt. You're going to pretend to be drunk, and you're not going to be remotely convincing, because 1. you rarely get drunk and you have no idea how to act like a convincing drunk person, and 2. you're socially inept and so you suck shit at acting anyway. She's going to see right through you, see that you're sober but pretending to be drunk because you're too scared to just tell her how you feel, and think to herself, "What a creep. I will never, ever date this man or let him have sex with me!" If you, god help you, actually try to snuggle up to her, her skin is going to crawl like a caterpillar and her vagina is going to go drier than the Sahara in the midday summer sun, and whatever happens next will be unpleasant for you.
The next day when you pretend to have forgotten it all, she will see right through that too, because 1. she'll know that, unlike her ex, YOU WERE NEVER ACTUALLY DRUNK, and 2. you're socially inept and suck at lying and you'd have given the game away somehow anyway. She will be put out by the stream of lies spewing like a river of frothy shit from your bloated, worm-like lips, and will terminate your friendship together immediately, unless she's an absolute saint, in which case it will merely be damaged.
That said, when you ignore this post, just like you've ignored the 4,285,981 others before it, and go through with your literally-would-embarrass-a-twelve-year-old plan, please do update this thread with the results so we can all laugh about it together and get something in return for all the time we've wasted on you.
>>17266923
Fine, so I ask her to meet up tomorrow, I tell her how I feel, then what? She feels guilty or sad and off put? I get friendzoned? Our friendship ends because we can't look each other in the eyes anymore, and she pushes it off because she doesn't want to do harm to me?
Do you really think that an ENTP type can't pull this off? I don't like socializing, I can do it. I've observed wasted people to know it's not that difficult to pull off.
Besides. What would ever give her the idea I'm pretending? Ackam's razor would imply the exact opposite.
And if you insist then I'll just drink away and then do it.
She is a saint and I assure you that she will never ever know it was a lie- and that eventually even I start to believe the lie, and it becomes a truth.
I am sorry you are irritated. I appreciate any help or comments that I learned from.
>>17267316
Dude this is a REALLY bad idea, like REEEALLY bad. Just tell her bro, most of the time the best plan is the simplest. Think of it like this, if you ask in a normal way, youll get a normal response. "Hey, im gonna say out like now, i really like you, and i just wanted to get it off my chest". She will either say "sorry, but im not into you" or "wow really? I do too." This crazy plan you came up with is just some giant wasteful plan that could go WAAAY worse than you though it would end. Please anon, just ask her out.
>>17267347
She has a boyfriend right now. That's why I don't want to put the pressure on her.
Otherwise, I really would, anon. I've had to decieve for such a long time to feel some semblance of safety in my own home and I just want someone to be honest and loved with, but I know she won't take me now.
So I wait and suffer a bit, drop this now/tomorrow when we all realize it won't end well, or I do something else.
>>17267399
Shes taken and your still trying to get with her? Bro come on, your better than that. Just try meeting other qts and i promise shell be out of your head
>>17267399
wow dude, give it up. Go do something more productive with your time and stop thinking about some chick.
>>17262255
Throughout this entire thread OP you sound like the most thoughtless, selfish autistic dolt I have ever seen.
>>17267422
Sorry man, but im with this guy, at what point did you think this could have gone well?
>>17262752
>manning up and just fucking telling her
This! It will show her that you're mature and strong enough to ask the question in your mind and that you don't fear the outcome.
>>17262615
>Very shy, quiet, does more thinking than speaking.
>We're good enough friends because of this.
Why not using this as an opening? It's honest, it shows what and why you are thinking about her and it's direct.
Man up and realize in which situation you are: You know a girl, you like her more than a friend but this friendship is important for you too. So, man up and get those information you need, to be able to handle this situation.
Important is, she has to know this friendship is important for you. She has to know about your thoughts/feelings for her. Somehow *show* her that you're interested in more and want to know how she thinks about this. Give her space and don't force her, wait for her response. Then make decision based on that and of course let her be apart of the decision making.
Either or not she wants the same as you, accept her answer and *get over it*.
The friendship can be destroyed by many factors, but you can stop being a reason, if you act *normally* after that. That means, you know her answer but you choose this fact to not being a reason which changes the friendship.
I don't tell you it will be easy and nobody tells you, this might not be a dealbreaker for her. But you a man, you want to know something, so go it try it. Either this or forget this thing, have her as a friend (and never think of her as more than a friend. Otherwise it will not help you) and search for another girl.
Good luck!
>>17263531
>...act as though I'm a completely different species when I hint at interest towards them, and disregard me for being creepy.
Because you are fucking creepy. You're also incredibly dense.
>>17267440
I'm creepy to cunts when I'm trying to be nice and cordial/polite. The spectrum of "creepy" and "charming" upon first impression is 85% "Who do I find attractive?"
Guarantee you that if I was a Chad I wouldn't be considered creepy.
>r9k meme
>lolol
>yes I fucking get it
I'm not dense, I'm stubborn.
>>17267412
I wish. You have no idea how many SJWs I've waded through to find someone who agrees that things aren't fair for men either. Who's a virgin and plans to stay that way.
>>17267418
My mental health is fucked anyway and not having a partner makes it worse. Finding a stable partner is probably the best thing for me at this point, agreed upon by the last therapist of the 3 who gave up.
This is the best thread I've read through in a while, thanks OP! Well whatever man, all I know is this poor girl you're pining over is a saint for even being friends with you. You sound insufferable. Take what you can fucking get here OP because with the way you think no one is going to benefit from having you around them.
And you are dense. Stubborn and dense.
>>17267484
I know she is.
You're welcome. If shit doesn't get better inside my head it might as well entertain others.
Me >>17267434
>>17267473
>My mental health is fucked anyway and not having a partner makes it worse. Finding a stable partner is probably the best thing for me at this point
This is maybe right, in terms of a relationship will make you better. But it's not a good way to wait for a girl, so *she will magically make you good/happy*. There are only a few women out there, which are interested in this, which wants to "repair" a man.
You should fix yourself and then search for a girl, a girl which brings a *benefit* or a *plus* into your life. You should also have *something* to offer her, but not a construction area where she has to work on.
Do you understand the idea?
>>17267399
>She has a boyfriend right now.
Didn't read it at first. So bro, get away from her as something more than a friend. Be the best version of yourself, control your emotion as best as you can and separate her from girls you want to date. Be her friend, like her as a friend, but don't have feelings for her (actually you can have feelings for he but you can't let those feelings decide/take control of your way of interacting with her -> this mean again: she's not more than a friend).
So when are you gonna talk to her?
I'd love to see an update before this thread 404s
>>17267496
After I get sleep so maybe around 4:00 central today
>>17267492
I've heard all this before. I would never ask her to fix me and do all the work. I'd just ask her for cuddles when I start to cry and we'd be good.
Nothing I think is too autistic/deviant.
IF it is, I weep for humanity.
I also know that there are parts of me that are desirable and are sought after, and that these can outweigh the bad.
I want her that way because she's taller, athletic, very intelligent, quiet, empathetic, appreciates my company, has compatible worldviews with me, etc. I can only lower my standards so far.
She's the only person I've had around me for the past 3 years I've found remotely desirable. It's only inevitable that these feelings would grow.
I don't know what I'm hoping for in telling her. I am completely certain that not telling her will hurt me badly.
>>17267729
I'll tell you the same thing I told my best friend when we were in high school together.
"She's got a boyfriend dude. Let it go bro."
bumping to keep this thread alive
>>17267399
>She has a boyfriend right now
fucking hell this just keeps getting better see>>17265073
>>17267918
I know, it's the thread that keeps on giving.
OP I can't help you with your love life but i think I can make you rich. You need to have video documentation of your plan being carried out, this will make you youtube famous. Then get on tosh or some shit to signal boost your "most awkward confession in the history of man" video. This could be start of a new strain of reality shows; showing vids of autists confessing to girls out of their league. The pre-game interview where they rationalize that they have any chance in hell would be golden
>>17267316
>Do you really think that an ENTP type can't pull this off?
>I've observed wasted people to know it's not that difficult to pull off.
That's exactly what I think, you flaccid, dribbling dicksnake.
I bet you've also watched people playing basketball and people having sex, but if you tried to do either you'd just embarrass yourself. I've watched sober people try to act drunk. It's always obvious and everybody feels embarrassed for them, and they were all a lot more socially-competent than you.
>>17267473
Over the line, you're definitely just trolling at this point.
>>17266612
>It's like talking to a brick wall that's really determined to embarrass itself
underrated kek
>>17267942
This is actually good advice. it'll be a good counterpoint to all those stupid grand proposal viral vids, and fits well in the 'greatest freakout ever' type genre.
>>17267729
Update please!
>>17269596
I said that I was having a depressive episode and it was the worst one yet, and if she could do me a favor and let me hug/cuddle with her for a bit, that she's really cute and I see her like a little sister. She said she was not comfortable with such because she has a boyfriend, I said I understood and that even talking with her just made it a little better.
We had a fairly normal conversation after that.
Satisfied?
>>17267942
She's not out of my league. I'm 6'5 and strong.
>>17269596
If he just abandons the fucking thread (or pusses out of his plan after all this buildup) I'll be really, really mad.
>>17269841
So close anon, so close :(
(OP reply: >>17269840 )
>>17269840
>I said that I was having a depressive episode and it was the worst one yet, and if she could do me a favor and let me hug/cuddle with her for a bit, that she's really cute and I see her like a little sister.
THAT WAS NOT THE PLAN, YOU DICKMUNCHING MONGOLOID.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D PUT US THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT AND THEN NOT EVEN GO THROUGH WITH YOUR PLAN.
GO BACK THERE AND PRETEND TO BE DRUNK THIS INSTANT.
>>17269867
I'm a shut in and so is she. Do you think I have a party tonight to go to? It's going to be at least a day or two, probably longer.
I'll make a new thread with this trip when it happens, how about? will that make you happy and peachy? :)
>>17269877
YES, I AM ACTUALLY COMPLETELY SATISFIED WITH THAT.
I CONSIDER THIS A BINDING PROMISE. WHATEVER THE OUTCOME, DON'T YOU DARE GO BACK ON YOUR WORD.
