Need some advice. Currently been dating with a girl for over a month now. Things seemed they were going well, despite the lack of intimacy...
She spent the night at my place a couple of times and I had tried initating in sex, but she told me she didn't want to "yet. At first I thought it was cool, but then I confronted her about it and she got upset. She told me she gives me "permission" to sleep with someone else and she "doesn't" want me to wait... Obviously, I told her I don't want to do something like that and I will wait for her...
But, now she seems very distant and never contacts me anymore. Things have been strange for the past two weeks now...
Is it over, /adv/?
Well let's some a summery shall we?
>only dated a month
>barely know each other
>doesn't care if you sleep with other people
>holds herself to a standard for accepting sex
>sees that despite saying you will wait, have already been pressing on her to have sex
>is no longer talking to you
What do you think OP?
I call emotional fluffer.
> let's just suppose that she didn't have a rape in her life or anything that made her hate sex, let's keep it common
I'm not going to say that you brought it on yourself, but she seemed to wanted much more of this relationship than you. You wanted a sexual partner, I don't know about her but she wanted more than that and she's avoiding doing it because she doesn't want to do it and then only realize that she's with the wrong guy to be with.
It was kinda of a test, you failed. You showed that you want sex (aka your own need) before her own desires (not wanting to have sex) whatever motives she has.
You could still apologize and keep back on track, but if you couldn't understand that there will be a lot more that you won't understand you just don't converge to the same motives.
she probably doesn't wanna fuck yet cause your dick is not big enough, to get chicks you either need a huge dick or a ton of money
>>17268292
>>17268326
I understand... I was going into this with the wrong midnset, maybe? I was thinking it would not be unreasonable to have sex after going on 8 dates... Especially when she willingly slept in my house more than once (but told me she didn't want sex when we were cuddling)
>>17268346
> I was going into this with the wrong midnset, maybe? I was thinking it would not be unreasonable to have sex after going on 8 dates... Especially when she willingly slept in my house more than once (but told me she didn't want sex when we were cuddling)
> I was thinking it would not be unreasonable to have sex
> but told me she didn't want sex when we were cuddling
See ? That's what I was talking about. I'm not a pessimist so I will not say that's impossible for you to be with her, but keep that mean thinking and she will go away.
My solution for now is to apologize, you could add a beautiful gift with the apology but the real center of this message is "I didn't understand your feelings, I was emotionally rough, I am sorry and this apology is a promise to be a better bf"
The solution to this cold era in your relation is the truth, the sincerity. From there she will trust you more and you will have the pussy one day or another.
But you need to be more sensitive to what's she trying to say, or else you will mess up for stupid reasons.
>>17268379
I see what I need to do, now... Thank you for your guidance with this... Not trying to sell a sob story, but I haven't been in a relationship for two years (last gf cheated on me) and so this feels really agonizing that I finally find someone and it goes to hell so quickly... It is a rough feeling, anon... I am not a bad person, but maybe I am a bit rash at times... Failure is how we learn, but I really don't want this to be a failure...
I feel you man, I agree with most of what these Anons say but I have to also disagree.
It's your right as her partner to want these things. Girls tend to see sex as the be all end all, but it's just emphasizing the affection. You'll still feel the love before and after.
Wanting sex is not an option for us, and the culture of 'Face down ass up' doesn't help that.
But the truth is she may be dealing with problems of her own, you need to communicate clearly so she understands where you are at.
Regardless, denying sex on her part is something she should take responsibility for. If she cared for you, to offer an explanation or a hint at why.
You shouldn't feel shitty for wanting sex. If you're serious about this. Talk to her but be gentle and articulate. It's not about having sex, but it is about being intimate and leading down a path that doesn't deny you what you feel and want.
>>17268331
>I don`t have any redeeming qualities
>>17268404
You will tell her that. I was harsh on you, I'm sorry I don't want to feel as a dickhead who didn't do shit for your girlfriend you seem like a nice dude a bit confused about the situation, if you are as sincere with her than you were with me that should be okay.
>>17268406
Listen, I can totally agree with you, sex a part of the relationship and her responsability, but not accepting sex is also a possibility, there is no rigid "responsability" for the man and the woman, it's all part of a mutual understand of things. If she doesn't want to have sex at that moment of the relationship, no matter how conter-intuitive that sounds, it's not a mutual understanding and you will not have sex with her, that is all.
>>17268379
Wow this is the most cuck thing I heard in a while.
Op she is playing games with you and wants to see if you are manly enough for her.
Next time you both cuddle, initiate sex and when she pushes you away, just go on, until she stops resisting. This means she saw, that you understood her "shit test" and wants your alpha cock. Easy, no go away cuckold commenter above
>>17268346
no means no homie
>>17268424
Nice b8, a little bit too obvious sadly. Still I'll bite in it since you took the effort to write it
>>17268420
>>17268406
Well, I will try and see her tonight and talk with her about all of this... Thanks again, guys...
Also,
>17268331
>17268424
this board never used to be full of so many trolls, before... Damn
