My friend has a 6 year old son with her now recently ex bf. For the past 7 years he's been with her. He's been helping her by supporting her. She's been helping him by watching their child while he was working full time establishing his career, she has worked a few part time jobs in between those 7 years.
He says he hasn't been happy in a long time and is leaving her. She currently has no job. He's not waiting for her to get a job before he leaves since he already has a plane ticket to leave in a week. So I guess he's giving her "one week" to find a job.
Her biggest issue is driving. She can't drive long distances and she has little experience driving on the interstate. As far as her child goes, her kid is constantly sick. He said they will go to court when he settles in his new place.
She has no way of even paying for rent at the place they were staying at together for years and is moving in with me in the mean time.
She's a good person. She doesn't do drugs, she doesn't even drink, she doesn't get involved in bad things.
Are people really this fucked up? I understand her ex bf has no obligation to help her besides child support. But what kind of person just LEAVES and expresses no sympathy, he even texts her randomly fucked up things like "any suffering you go through is your fault, it's not my fault you don't have a job"
He also gave her forty bucks before leaving and said that's all he's gonna do to help her until he sees her in court...
Really fucked up shit. Have any of you known someone to do this?
Is that really the whole story? She did nothing to make him turn on her like that? I've seen previously nice people act heartless like this, but it's always some form of "revenge"
Does she have any family or anything that can help out? You're a really good friend for letting her stay with you when she needs help, but it doesn't really sound like she has any plans or abilities to get her own place anytime in the near future... are you really OK to just take on someone's family like this, even if it might be semi-permanent?
>>17264741
She's looking for a job and doesn't plan to stay with me for longer than several weeks.
Yeah, it's the whole story. She did nothing bad, didn't cheat on him, didn't steal from him, etc.
He said he just wasn't happy for years. That's what he told her. I've read the texts between them also. The ones she sends and he knew he sends her.
He's not doing anything bad besides helping her the smallest way he can, with the smallest amount of money. But considering he was her main supporter and not even giving her at LEAST a few months for her to get established with a job, I feel like that's so fucked.
>>17264755
Yeah, I mean, what would've happened if you couldn't/wouldn't take her in? He would've let his own child be homeless until a judge orders him to pay more? It's his business if he wants to break up, but you're right, for the mother of his child and HIS CHILD he could've been a lot more considerate.
>>17264778
He took the child with him. He just left her.
>>17264794
Oh, I misunderstood that. Never mind, then. Yeah, what he did was pretty cold, but she's an adult and she'll be OK. I thought he left her to find a job WHILE raising the kid
>>17264794
The most important thing is that the child is taken care of, so that's good.
>>17264794
If that's the case then she should be able to support herself. Why can't she drive long distance? Is it just lack of experience? If so you shouldn't be taking her in for more than two or three weeks
>>17264716
>Have any of you known someone to do this?
me. ask me anything.
>>17264871
What happened
That's terrible OP. She should take him to court as soon as she can for joint custody and child support. If the guy's only reason for taking her kid and leaving her is "I'm unhappy" then he's a self absorbed piece of shit who deserves the worst in life. Good on you for helping her
>>17264852
Lack of experience and a bad car accident that gave her a fear of driving. I have no doubt she can support herself, it's the act of going from "her supporting bf" to " now ex-bf cutting her out"
>>17264894
dropped pregnant girl, moved an ocean over. don't pay her anything.
I honestly dont see what's wrong with all this, sure her ex bf was cold but it's not like he have to support her AFTER breaking up, right ?
Plus he took the kid so she dont have to search a job AND looking for the kid, she just need a job, and everything Will be great...
>>17264904
You can't relate to OP. Op's ex boyfriend supported her and her kid for six years and even took the kid with him when he left. OP's ex is a good father, but a bad boyfriend. You left a pregnant girl, you're a bad father and a bad person.
Duh
>>17264900
Maybe he got tired of getting leaned on like that. Is it really fair for her to just expect the guy to pay her bills forever?
It's a dick move to just leave out of the blue, but he's not obligated to sit around and wait until she finds herself a job. That could drag on forever, especially if she's trying to get him to stay.
It's a tough situation, I feel like we're not really getting the whole story. Best thing you can do is be there for your friend, and try to stay out of the relationship drama as much as possible
>>17264896
>forcing someone to stay just because you planted a seed in her egg.
He deserves to live his own life. Its 2016, why do men still have to take care of women? Your friend sounds entitled to me.
>>17264904
You sound like a low life. OP story is different, can't really compare your situation.
>>17264923
>>17264924
He didn't give her enough time to find a job and she couldn't pay the damn rent...
How is that entitled? Anyone can leave if they want, I am aware it's 2016. But it's the WAY you do it.
If her ex ever needed help in the future, I hope he gets none and had to sleep outside.
>>17264924
>why should a mother be able to see her child whenever she wants?
>why is it wrong for a father to take the child and leave without warning?
Are you actually confused about this?
>>17264924
Nobody said anything about forcing anyone to stay together.
If you've been supporting someone for the past 10 or 8 or 7 years then you should at least give the person you are leaving some kind of NOTICE. Like hey, you're gonna need to find a job because i am leaving?
>>17264943
he didnt took the child and left without a warning though.
>>17264950
One week to find a job is pretty much without notice.
Even most jobs require a two week notice.
>>17264934
Well you really only hearing her part of the story and as sad as it sounds most people have nasty habbit of whitewashing themselves. Maybe he gave her much longer and she just didn't do shit in this time? Or maybe he is giant dick, but seeing as he supported them for so many years and he is taking care of child he have sense of resposibility.
>>17264934
she should have gotten a job years ago instead of relying on her SO. I didn't know such a parasitic lifestyle was still so commonly accepted these days.
>>17264968
She had part time jobs and contributed but mainly watched their son and was a stay at home mom while HER EX was out, establishing his CAREER, SHE WAS WATCHING THE KID.
Buddy, she did him a favor just as easily.
**i'm a paralegal, it bugs me when people don't realize this shit.
I gotta say that is pretty fucked up. What if he just starts flaking out on everyone like that?
He flaked out on a supportive gf. What if he just flakes out on the kid too?
"I'm sorry son, I'm not happy anymore with you for years" Then proceeds to put him up for adoption with a weeks notice.
I've seen shit like that actually happen. A father would take custody and then put the kid out at the shelter.
>>17265157
that would suck for the kid.
Her ex bf who left her sounds like a fucking piece of shit
Pretty much threw her out to the wolves. Doesn't matter how little he is helping her by giving her money or even watching the kid so she can find a job. When you leave someone, make sure they have a fucking job. When you leave someone, don't do it on a whim because you're "not happy". Plan for it months in advance.
That girl is going to be extemely bitter about the situation. He may regret it in the long run, when she gets back on her feet. She may try to take her child away from him and get full custody.
The dude is in the right, I don't understand why people are feeling sorry for the chick.
She was a dead weight, six years other assing around. The dude probably felt trapped in a dead end relationship that would go nowhere.
If anything it is a case of tough love, she might feel so shitty and get her life together.
Besides the texting the dude was either really neutral or ok.
He even took the child and is raising it, better than leaving it with the mother.
It could have been worse, he could have left the kid, stole all her shit and disappeared like a ton of fucking guys do.
But I suppose everyone feel sorry for her because she has a vagina and he has a penis.
ITT: White Knights and Women.
>>17264716
There's obviously reasons they split up to begin with. Nobody wants to spend a lot of time and energy on something that has no future.
>>17264794
Then he isnt a monster.
If the kid is 7 then he should be in school. Maybe they had an agreement like, you are a stay at home mom for four years then start working part time.
>>17264923
Look if they arent happy they arent happy and sometimes those decisions need to be made and acted on.
>>17264934
Wont he get boned?
His name must be on the lease....
>>17264716
He's a deadbeat dad. Even if the mother is a pain in the ass, that's no excuse for him to refuse to provide for the kid.
>>17264916
So... why shouldn't the kid have the right to see his mother (and vice versa)?
>>17266303
>kidnaps child/custodial interference
>"Then he isnt a monster"
>>17266418
He kidnapped the kid?
No....
He said they would settle it in court.
Now here is what he wants:
To get his case together and go to court quick and prove she is incompetent and get full custody.
>>17266312
Yes if his name is on the lease, which it probably is since he was the supporter, he will most likely have trouble renting out decent apartments or houses in the future. Guess this guy was just too "depressed" and stupid to realize he probably made his situation worse by fucking himself over. Hopefully he has family members to let him stay and hopefully his life is a living hell and his ex gf finds some happiness.
