Beyond confused.
Me and a friend used to chat daily for hours. It was effortless. Pretty much a perfect 50/50 exchange and you never had to think about what to say next, one thing just led on to another.
Then recently she started getting busy. I don't know if that's right or just some fob off, but basically she'd disappear for days on end and not bother messaging. She'd take ages to even return a text saying she was too busy. She used send loads of selfies and tell me what she was up to, but all that dropped off.
So at this point you'd be thinking, Ok, she isn't interested in talking anymore. Time to stop making an effort and move on, right?
Well that's what I tried to do. So after her being gone for some days she starts messaging me again. I started chatting less and not really investing myself in the conversation hoping she'd start talking to her other friends more and move on but she caught on. She then brings up how we aren't talking like we used to, and says it's like I'm not repsonding to her messages (I was, but I guess she meant I was giving her somewhat dead end answers).
So we talk about it and I tell her how I was feeling and we patch things up and start talking again, but I don't feel like she's making much effort. More like it's 70/30 on my part. I had to constantly think of things to say and I felt really on edge when we weren't talking like she'd start accusing me of stuff again. She'd speak when spoken to but didn't really do anything to engage me.
I'm really confused why she'd bring all that up to try and get me to talk again if she doesn't really seem to want to chat herself?
Well none of us here will "know".
Maybe she had a fling? Guy she thought was great and liked for a while but didn't wakt to hurt you, and then that ended, so you're stuck dealing with weird after-effects.
She's obviously been through fucking SOMETHING. If this is your only form of communication, maybe consider asking her if something it off or wrong?
What is the relationship with your friend?
Depending on that, there could be many reasons for the change in contact:
>she found somebody she's interested in, so she had to cut down the time with you
>she got busy with work/family/etc.
>she got romantically interested in you, but didn't want to act on it, retreating for some time
>something terrible happened to her, and she doesn't want to let you know
>you ran out of things to talk about
Last but not least, I was on the opposite end of this situation once, dropping a penpal friendship because I pushed off writing a reply until it seemed strange to reply without a proper reason for the delay.
>>17263519
Yeah, been in that boat, anon.
Relationship is that she's a friend, a really good one. She considers us close friends and told one of my friends when she was talking about us that we are "super close".
She has a boyfriend who's in and out of the country, but this was a long established relationship, so it's not like she got with someone and suddenly stopped talking. We used to talk all the time even though she has a boyfriend. Could be that she's picked up other regular friends and there's the novelty of that I guess.
We care about eachother a lot. She left a slightly tipsy voice message once saying that she loved me, and when I asked her about it she said she does, but not on a romantic level like her boyfriend. I told her I feel the same and that I have some feelings for her, but this was a few weeks back, so it doesn't seem to be related to that.
She's super open too, like she will tell me really quite personal stuff, so it would seem a bit odd if she was hiding anything. Really can't figure her out!
Bumping. Guess everyone is as confused as me!
Was thinking about giving her a call later. Should I bring it up?
