Bought a start house, needed a lot of work. I've been at it, but I am getting really discouraged, not really from the amount of work I have to do, but its my wife. She texts me 3 times daily asking what I am working on, then gets really pissed off for a solid hour if she doesn't notice something BIG.
She will then say she doesnt have enough space to move around, then rearrange everything, you know, right up against the walls I was working on then complain when it takes me a few hours to move everything back to work again.
How the hell do you deal with this? It's getting to where before she leaves in the morning, she will say something like, " So you are doing the floor today? " when I already explained I cant even start that shit yet then she goes and orders a new freezer fridge so theres even less space to get anything done.
She keeps buying new stuff, or building materials when I dont need it, so it sits there either taking up space inside, or I have to tarp it and be careful outside.
So far, I have
>Completely tore out to studs
>Redone electrical
>Insulation
>Fixed sill plate/foundation issues
>Drywall
>Plumbed sink
>Custom butcherblock countertop
>Tore up all carpet, prepped for laminate
>Dug 55 post holes in the most stony soil I've ever seen, adult head sized stones coming out
>Set 55 posts
>Ran fencing
>Set garden up
Its just getting to me, really bad. I mean, I had an EX GF, and she didnt do ANYTHING all day, if she so much as cleaned a dish I was excited about it.
I am feeling like a slave or something now, a slave to labor and finish this house, which will never end, and she says " I go to work for 10 hours, I expect 10 hours from you " its like, holy fuck, I don't work for you.
Shit, give me $15/hr and I will work all day, I barely have anything I like to eat in the house.
Keep in mind, I quit my job because she made so much more and wanted to see me more.
>>17260448
>" I go to work for 10 hours, I expect 10 hours from you "
That sounds totally fair to me, to be honest.
How long ARE you working a day?
All the rest of the shit she's doing is horrific though, and it sounds like she's just too wrapped up in herself and doesn't realise how much you've accomplished or how much her actions are setting you back. Which is understandable, when she's not there to see what you're doing.
It sounds like you need to sit down and have a conversation about what exactly you do all day, how her actions are impacting your progress, and what she can do/avoid to better accommodate your workflow. Maybe have a bit more of a solid plan going forward where she can see you're getting things done, set some rough 'deadlines' so that if you say "I'll get x done by the end of the week," you can debrief at the end of the week and either see that it's done, or explain why it's not (ie if she sets you back). That way if it gets done, you have a solid thing to point to that shows how hard you're working.
What gets me is that I AM a hard smart working person. I am so much smarter than her, and it really just fucking gets me going that I cant be mean or rude to her, because shit, shes my wife.
>>17260477
AGH holy shit that was the end of 2000 word count.
Well fuck. I guess the same thing I wrote in a shorter thing would be
Why DO I have to work all day at this? Is my worth related to what I produce?
I got her the job she has right now, I did the resume, cover letter, pre interview letters, she was just going to ignore it.
She acts like I am lazy, when I was a retail manager for years, working my ass off.
she acts like 10 hours a day is a lot, when I used to pull 12 hour days, and not be a total dick when I got home.
Keep in mind, she came from her parents house where she was a total slob, I already do all the cooking and cleaning as well.
I am an underappreciated house wife at this point.
God damn my other response was steller
>>17260477
>>17260482
You really don't sound like you respect her at all, why are you even with her?
>>17260569
Not Op but jesus shut the fuck up, he respects her so much to put up with this, he respected her a lot. And after weeks of hard work and no mutual respect but instead disapproval he has lost his respect for her temporarily. She's being a bitch and you're on her side? Watch out 4chan the full-blownsies is spreading.
Op the previous post near the top about communication is a good one, follow what you can or want to from it, but there definitely is a lack of understanding coming from her side and you need to have a serious talk about it with her. Do not be angry or resentful while doing so.
>>17260679
I'm not on her side, she's being a complete pill, I'm just confused as to what OP is even doing with her at this point if he's so miserable and resentful. The fact that she doesn't seem to respect him at all either only makes it weirder.
>>17260448
you sound rly ungrateful, shes doing her part AND working, you cant do your part and dont like to be a team player then leave. I felt bad for you up until I read she does more work than you. However, I would ask her if she could ease up to help you be less stressed.
>>17260733
>her part AND working
From what OP has said, he is doing the dishes, cooking food, working on the house while she goes to work for 10 hours comes home, makes it harder for him to work, makes it clear that she's not satisfied with his job and then again makes it harder for him.
She probably doesn't know what it's like to work hard consider Op also did her resume, application, cover letter, etc. Since she hasn't worked hard she doesn't know what it's like an demands sympathy because she feels her situation is harder. She's a child and you're defending her gg.
I renovated a house
Worked 80 hours a week
49 at full time job
40 on my house.
Get to work bitch I was only 24
Man up and communicate this to her in a firm way. Just try to form the full speach in your head before, and have a response for any counter.
You are going to end up in a fight, but make peace that night , AND BRING YOUR A+ GAME TO THE SEX THAT NIGHT
be a fucking stallion , let her know that you are her man and know what you are doing
