Tell your GF it worries you. No reason to lie about it. If she doesn't understand or gets defensive then maybe something else is going on.

>>17258050
Her reaction was

"We are just friends and it's totally fine"

Similar situation here OP.

I knew my GF was on the flirty side when I began to date her. She and I are both bartenders, it comes with the territory.

That being said, you have to set boundaries. Either keep living uncomfortably with it or tell your SO what is and (more importantly) what isn't okay.

Her and I got into it one night at a party after I felt she took it too far with another guy. She had never had a boyfriend nut up and tell her to calm down in the past, so it was new for her. Took me a while to realize her nature, and it took her a while to realize she was overstepping boundaries. We're still working on it, but we're much better off now that I told her.

>>17258075
I've told her. She didn't take it well, but after a day or so she admitted I was correct in wanting a boundary with this sort of thing.

Thing is, now I dislike one of her friends pretty intensely cause of this. Ofc I'm not gonna tell her she can't be friends with the dude.

But my fear is that he Isn't going to quit this shit, and I'm not about to just put up with it forever. How do I handle this aspect?

Is it ok if I don't like the dude and refuse to go to social gatherings he is a part of? Or is that too much?

Is it ok if I think he is an asshole for taking such liberties?

I'm a dude who's like this with a female friend. We're both kind of naturally flirty and when we get together, it amplifies even greater to where we're just constantly making faux-flirty passes and inappropriate banter at one another.

But I would never touch her. Don't get me wrong, she's a physically attractive person, but in my head she's pretty much a little sister. Like I adore her, and can't even think of her sexually because it just feels like non-sense.

Her (ex)boyfriend is my best friend since childhood and I have a girlfriend. Both of them know the deal, and just know how we are (not just around each other, but around people in general). To be honest, my girlfriend had kind of that danger/jealousy flash when she first saw us hanging out, and then she actually watched us for a minute and two and realized nothing was going on and remembered who she was dating. Now my gf and she are probably closer friends than her and I are.


Take a chill pill and decide if you trust her or not. If you do, relax, and it's all good. If stuff goes too far, go ahead and say something, but otherwise, rely on that trust, because it's the foundation of your relationship and a very powerful thing.

But If you can't trust her, it's time to bounce.

>>17258119
If you can't think of her sexually, how do you come up with sexual jokes.

I never heard of a brother making sexual comments with his sister before.

>>17258119
It's not her I don't trust. It's you I don't trust.

Make sexual advances towards him.

>>17258126
>If you can't think of her sexually, how do you come up with sexual jokes.

1.) You're assuming the jokes have to be sexual in a specific way that I never mentioned
2.) It's called flirty banter. You don't have to be sexually attracted to someone to make a "that's what she said" joke.

An example of a casual flirt would be just be dropping a line like, "I have no idea why, you're simply stunningly brilliant, and why wouldn't they see that?". In fact, that's very probably something I told her after she dumped her boyfriend (my best friend--and yeah he had it coming btw. I've known him for near two decades... and he can be a total idiot some times)

The objective of the flirt isn't to get them in your pants, it's just straight up to make them feel good about themselves and encourage them--because some times people feel like shit about themselves, and it's nice to get a little confidence boost and to know other people think highly of you.

That's in part the function her and I serve with one another pretty much, to have a third party there of the opposite gender--that's not parents/brothers/sisters/family/SO/whatever--that isn't FORCED to say things like that, that does it of their own volition, and that you know you can trust not to take it too far.


>>17258139
>It's not her I don't trust. It's you I don't trust.
Unless you're worried about him straight up raping her, in other words, what that sounds like is you don't trust her to be able to handle herself--especially around him.

If youre girl is on board with stopping the sexual jokes and the guy is not stopping, ask her to tel him to stop. If he still doesn't listen (he proved he's an asshole to your girl thus undermining their friendship) calmly tel him in a Privat conversation he has to stop. If he still doesn't listen, correct his behavior as it occurs. Tel him you're making her and as a matter of fact yourself uncomfortable, describe his behavior as inappropriate. You're creating this feeling within your girlfriend by orchestrating an uncomfortable atmosphere. Either he will continue and the friendship will die or he will stop. Mission accomplished

>>17258088
I think you guys are missing a major point. These should be her boundaries, she sets and feels comfortable with not yours. Now it is ok if she crosses into an area you are uncomfortable, draw a line and if she steps over dump her. I don't think a man should have to tell an adult woman not to sex talk with another man when she is in a relationship. If she does and is ok with it then don't date her.

>>17258040
>inappropriate sexual jokes to one another
what do they say?

>>17258126
>I never heard of a brother making sexual comments with his sister before.

Welcome to 4chan.
The guy was just making a metaphor, I have a couple female friends who I make sexual jokes with and have 0 attraction to them.

One of them, as >>17258119 put it, is like a little sister to me as well. No attraction, just companionship and hearty jokes.

I guess in OP's case it depends on who the guy is to the girl. If they've been friends before/after OP got her, if they're co-workers, etc.

OP, I'm going to make this as general as possible, trust your girl and appeal to her empathy, she probably wouldn't like you making sexual jokes with a female friend either.

Oh and if he's done it in front of you, one of two things.

>Testing the waters to see if youre a beta cuck
>Jokes come naturally and innocently

>>17258181
OP is talking about sexually explicit stuff specifically.

I don't think anyone cares about banter.

Just tell her the raw truth: "Honey, I'm a jealous person therefore the thought of you and another guy having sex makes me feel like shit. Please stop being you and comfort my insecurities. Now."
It should work.

>>17258040
leave her. she does not respect you, and will likely violate the terms of your arrangement (see: infidelity) if she hasnt already.

>>17258040
>This has happened in front of me
this is him proving ownership of your gf OP and she goes along as confirmation

>>17258207
what part of inappropriate sexual do you not understand.

Like to hear how you would respond if your gf told a guy to eat her pussy or say she wants to swallow the guys cum in front of you.

>>17258214
>>17258201

Are we playing the telephone game or something?

Definitions keep shifting the longer this thread goes on...

>>17258061
Then it IS never totally fine and you should get your pussy ass mouth speaking to her that it worries you again.

>>17258088

If he doesn't stop, even when she draws a line, then he is a bad friend. She needs to understand this.

It's selfish to not respect your friends' boundaries.

the only point you should get involved is if he starts acting more aggressive and pushy with his behavior. Men like this are typically pansies on the inside, so don't be a bitch.

>>17258214
What the fuck? Who talks like this?
The only time it's not weird to talk like this is when you are horny and to your sexual partner.

>>17258088

How well do you know this friend? Is your only real 'interaction' with him watching him flirt with your girlfriend? If so, of fucking course you don't like him. Fix that by hanging out with him, getting to know him as a person and not just "the thing my girlfriend flirts with that isn't me." Maybe then you'll understand his relationship with your girlfriend better and won't feel as threatened.

Or maybe you'll still feel threatened, and this is just one of those things, rational or not, that you guys have to set a boundary on. That's okay too, within reason.
But this guy is important to your girlfriend, and if you want her to be willing to set a boundary, you should meet her half way and be willing to try and build a bridge.

Just don't lose sight of your girl in this kind of jealousy. If there's honestly nothing for you to worry about, then you demonising her friend and showing a lack of trust in her intentions with him, in her judge of his character, and in his intentions with her, that's all going to piss her off eventually.

Any other social cues that could imply atraction?
Did they ignored your "WTF guys?!" The first time you saw them doing this?
I agree that she should set some boundaries and you cant ask her to lose a friend... but man, I couldnt get verbally cuck like that

>>17258170
this

>>17258170
+1

Man tbqh I'd say just stop caring. It's all too much effort. I've seen this happen a million times and I've had it happen to me.

In all honesty she probably likes the guy and if you bring it up part of her (and you) is going to enjoy the drama, it's an alternative to peace which is boring, heartache is the perfect obsession to cure boredom.

Right now though having been in a number of long term relationships I can promise you it gets fucking TIRESOME. Just let it happen, sit back and live your life and you know what if she fucks this dudr who gives a fuck, dump her and get a new gf later on. There is nothing you can do and honestly who cares because you won't be marrying this girl.