I'm lazy and depressed and anxious. Don't want to get out of bed to do things that are important. Almost 30 and still don't have a real job and live at home. Also I'm fat and ugly and hate myself. And I used to cut and burn myself so I'm covered in scars. And I'm hopelessly alone with not a single friend and never any possibility of a romantic partner.
What can therapy do to fix me? Because I know what I should be doing already, I just can't seem to make it happen. So if therapist just talks about things I should be doing that doesn't really help. Can therapy make me do things? Force motivation into me?
I can't really afford therapy, so if it isn't going to help I don't want to spend the money.
Either they drug you up and let you go or you consent to cognitive-behavioral therapy, which is personal sessions with a therapist to basically change the way you think about things. I've done both and they haven't helped, I only got better through external means.
I personally believe therapy is for 1) normies who have no self-introspection or 2) people who need someone else to help face facts. #2 is like people who never advance in skill at their hobbies because they can't admit to fucking up and self-criticize to get better.
I honestly don't know where I'm going with this, I don't know you personally but all I know is that therapy is not for everyone.
>>16486792
Therapy alone won't do. I really helps to get a different perspective of things and realizing obvious things which somehow one oversaw.
Also:
You need to start a physical activity.
Stop eating junk food.
When you feel better, engage in some kind of community service, that will boost your sense of worth.
>>16486792
lol me too desu I have a job though and my own place. But I am lazy depressed and anxious... It's hard because you go through like mood swings of self loathing, then loathing of everything around you and so on. You need to find a way to break the cycle. Commit to a hobby or find a job.
>>16486792
Therapy will work but only if you want to make it work. You have to cooperate with the shrink, tell the truth and don't hide things (with the exclusion of illegal things). Diet, exercise, get into social and fulfilling activities like volunteering. Therapy will help you focus on the positives and make it easier for you to do the "diet exercise whatever" thing (as in, you're more likely to find the motivation to do it) but at the end of the day, there's a degree of your own willpower involved
>>16487446
Solid advice here.
>>16487446
Any tips for wanting to make therapy work?
I've had 4 different therapists and none of them were successful. Almost all of them seemed to not really care. I didn't feel a connection with them. I shrugged a lot of their "assignments" as well since they didn't seem to help me at all (like positive self-affirmations, which I couldn't stand).
I have a hard time making connections already with people, so trying to do so with a therapist seems tough, especially when they seem so uninterested.
I've had therapy for years. It gave some insight in what my problems are but didn't solve anything. In the end you'll have to change yourself. If you don't know how to change yourself, therapy might be good. If you already know how but just won't do it, therapy probably won't make you do it.
>>16488322
In that case, group therapy might work. When other people are doing certain things, you may feel more compelled to join along. It also means at least someone there would be sympathetic to your situation
>>16488371
That's the hardest part, I've been self aware of years before I did anything to change myself. I don't have foolproof advice for making that change but for me, it was finding something I liked to do with my life. It doesn't pay a lot but I've gotten to terms with it
I also realized that friendships with most people will not end well but if you keep trying, and cutting out those who you've realized are just using you, you'll end up with at least a handful of real friends. Life is sort of trial and error that way, so it can be painful
>>16488322
also I'm not gonna lie, most therapists will seem to a degree, uninterested, due to compassion fatigue. Basically they may keep hearing the same concerns again and again from different people in a day, thus they will not seem as empathetic. However, they still remember the questions to ask and things to do in order to administer effective therapy, if only on a rational level. All I can say is, try group therapy and/or try to move past their body cues
