I'm worried that I may have fucked up my friendship with someone I really care about, /adv/.
As short as possible, I've been friends with my group of friends for 2 years - Me, 5 guys, and one other girl. When I met them, one guy and I ended up hitting it off really well and flirting with, until the fact that he had a girlfriend came up. Throughout these last two years, we've had instances where we've flirted with each other, and we've more than openly admitted that if we were both available, we would definitely give each other a chance.
I've pretty much been hermit mode these last 3 months because I got a new job that demands a lot of my time, so I haven't seen my friends. We all got back together to catch up a few days ago, and I ended up talking to my friend to find out his girlfriend and he broke up 2 months ago.
We decided to party, get a high, and hang out, and eventually, we were left alone together. He kept getting closer and closer to me and I kept putting him off, until it eventually happened and we ended up kissing, which turned into more.
We had sex twice that night.
(1/2)
Now, by nature he's not one to wear his emotions on his sleeve. He's always the sarcastic, snarky, funny, smarmy asshole ("fuck you man!" is a common phrase yelled at him all day, every day), but that night he was completely different. Now, he's back to being himself. and I'm worried, because he seems to be avoiding me now. While we were having sex, he actually asked me "We're gonna do this again, yeah? Tell me we're going to do this again." and wouldn't stop until I practically screamed yes at him, kept telling me I was the best he ever had, held my hand, told me how long he had been waiting and how much he wanted me, etc. And now I can't even talk to him because he keeps putting me off.
I had told him I didn't want to have sex with him originally because I didn't want to complicate our friendship or ruin things, and now I feel like that's happening.
I don't know what to do. Now, I'm really regretting the decisions I've made here. What do I do? Do I just leave him alone for now?
I guess I'm more just trying to get an outside opinion, or something from a male perspective. All of our guy friends/his roommates (they all live together) keep hinting that "you guys will figure it out for yourselves" and "you two are perfect together", but nobody knows about us hooking up. I'm just confused and worried, and I feel like an idiot for letting myself do this.
>>16485373
>>16485378
>>16485427
There's not really much we can tell you. We can't exactly read your friend's mind to find out why he's avoiding you. There could be a million different reasons for that.
The only thing this thread will do is attract bitter /r9k/ trolls.
>>16485433
At least you're keeping it 100, I appreciate that. I just don't really have anyone I can talk to about this irl, I prefer to keep my dirty laundry away from public eye. Thank you.
He's likely just as confused as you, have you explicitly stated you want to talk about it? Have you seen him since?
The cats out of the bag now and you both gotta deal with it. Don't look at it like its a bad thing, you could forge a damn fine relationship out of this.
>>16485444
I've seen him since, I've been at his place since, hanging out with his roommates and the group. I haven't said I want to talk about it, though.
Ughhhh this is weird. This whole thing is weird.
>>16485453
Its likely gonna be what you make of it. If you two start acting strange around each other and not having any communication, it will probably get really weird and end up killing the friendship, never mind any chance of anything more. What you two did is a pretty big deal, it's normal to have an emotional cocktail after something like that.
I also have a good friend I kind of wanna bridge the gap with, so this is all very interesting to me. It's a little early, I know, but so far would you recommend this to others? Was it worth it?
>>16485469
I'm trying to pretend like things haven't changed, and I stressed that to him. Sex doesn't change things as dramatically as they say, but it can change the dynamic of a friendship or partnership. I kind of freaked out about how it happened (he was feeling me up, subtly, while we were all hanging out together, and then randomly made up a story about me needing his help back at my place, and practically dragged me home to molest me).
I'm confused. I've always had to tone myself down, because I've always had a thing for him. Everyone knows it, and we've been flirting like mad since day one to the point that our friends tell us to stop. I just.
It was totally worth it in the short term. It was the best sex I've ever had, I've never felt so connected with someone, so comfortable. I was expecting it to be much more awkward because we are such close friends but it was just the opposite, actually.
But I suppose, the hardest part is continuing to play the waiting game right now. I don't know how this is going to play out, and that's agonizing, because I care about him a lot.
>>16485487
In times like this I like to dredge from the bottomless well of knowledge that is Phil Collins, you cant hurry love. Thought the circumstances leading up to it sounds a little bit creepy and makes me slightly sick, it sounds like you really didn't mind them much.
I think patience will serve you best here. Time to get drunk and listen to some Phil Collins.
>>16485548
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie... I wasn't entirely comfortable with it initially, and I'm still thinking about it and I'm still stuck on it, honestly. I was pretty high, so it's a bit fuzzy. But I did initiate the actions that led to our having sex, so I was compliant with his actions. But before we actually did, I did reconsider, and he got me so wound up while I kept giving him reasons we couldn't that I eventually gave in... it's weird. It was weird. This whole thing is weird.
>>16485585
seems pretty average to me, so I suggest you do the opposite of average. YOU start the talk, YOU make the decisions. Talk to him about what happens, turn this into a relationship, or whatever it is you want this to be. I dunno as a dude, that's what I'd do, then again I'm a beta foreveralone permavirgin so there's that.
or cry rape and then kill yourself in front of his mom, whatever works for you kiddo
>>16485373
>I kept putting him off
wtf why?
>>16485718
I knew his roommates/my friends were due home any second and I didn't want to have them walk in on me with a dick in my mouth????? like????
>>16485725
>I knew his roommates/my friends were due home any second and I didn't want to have them walk in on me with a dick in my mouth????? like????
lol i tried to phrase a proper response but your train of thought is so retarded im baffled
>>16485736
Sorry, I didn't think you were actually serious.
There were a variety of reasons why I didn't want to right away, mostly because as his friend I'm actually concerned about him and if he's still upset about his break up, having sex with me isn't going to help him get over it at all.
And I didn't want my friends to come home to the sounds of sex and/or actually walk in on us (we were in the living room, which is in almost direct sight of the front door).
