I'm your typical 20 years old that browse 4chan. European, used to watch Anime (not anymore), and my main hobby is gaming (esports) and films. I also study languages (Korean/English/French) and the most interesting thing about me is that I've gotten scholarships for short-term studies in Korea twice.
My only gf was 3 years ago. I dated a girl a few months back that I met in some Korean-related event but didn't work out, and I was expecting to go on a date with a girl I met in a otaku con 2 weeks ago but I think she got cold feet as she doesn't answer my texts to confirm the date.
I'm a bit awkward socially but probably better than the general geek/otaku/whatever demography. I'm tired of being alone, how do I meet girls?
I go to hang out to a park with my friends, and there seems to go all the geeky people or whatever, but everybody goes with their group and don't interact unless there are common acquaintances. The thing is, my group is a bit antisocial and actually like to pick on/criticize people from the other groups. So if I find some cute girl I can't just go to talk with her randomly: First, I don't know how to approach her and talk, as they're with a group of friends, maybe males included, so it feels awkward as fuck. Second, it's possible I get dissapproval from my group of friends.
So... I don't know, what do I do? I tried online dating but I have 0 success and it's hard to find a girl with something in common with me.
tumblr cuz undertale
>>16479471
first and foremost, what do you look like? post a pic?
its not even about hot or not, so much as which approach works. some guys can play a sweetie. some guys can play a douche. so post a picture of two of you.
worse comes to worse, we give you a little cleaning up advice.
anywho, moving on.
>geeks at the park
the best thing you can do is wait for an opening. if you scout a qt3.14 and want to make a move, try and observe her in a non stalkery way. if they are geeks, they must have some sort of geeky activity, conversation, or clothing going on. so when you figure out what that interest is, and you know at least a little bit about it, try and make a move. start walking around nonchalantly, typing on your phone, and just wander aimlessly around the park, until you just so happen to be close enough to see their clothes, activity, or hear their conversation
>omg you like attack on titties? me tooooo
>OH EM GEE, THAT MAKES ME MOIST! LETS TALK MORE
you might need to force your way in, but dont be discouraged. sometimes you wont realize it, but they are secretly interested in convo. just this morning i was talking to a chick on the bus about a stephen king novel. she kept going back to the novel she was reading, and i thought it was end of convo, but she would then throw out another little fun fact about reading the book without even being pushed.
sometimes you just gotta wait. sometimes you gotta push, practice. and dont worry. one thing you can do is make yourself the outcast of your group
>oh you like magical girl emodoka? i love it but none of my friends have even seen it, they're such filthy casuals.
then just chat about it and see whats up. dont go straight for a date, especially if you've seen them around before, and know you will again. just chat as long as convenient, then talk about going back to your group. maybe invite their group over to chat with yours if you think your group can handle it.
>>16479471
>>16479529
continuing.
>awkward as fuck
yes. every new situation is awkward. no matter how great you get at this, there will always be a bit of awkwardness, thats what gives you butterflies. thats what you want. theres good awkward, then theres bad. despite how suave you may be, there will always be bad tension.
the big issue with men these days is they dont want to get shot down, as if there is some chart keeping track that doesn't know that they are 'playing the odds' in terms of keeping their ratio up. like a doctor only taking patients he knows he can cure.
stop thinking like that. if a girl turns you down, its not about whether you are good or bad. its about whether you are a match or not. not matching isn't bad. you aren't a match with 95% of the women in this world, having one acknowledge it is not a bad thing.
so no matter what happens you cant think less of yourself cuz you got turned down. its a numbers game. i must get rejected a billion fucking times a year, but htat doesnt stop me from scoring awesome curly haired hotties who watch buffy with me. and at the end of the day those successes are all that matters.
>disapproval from my group of friends
who cares? there is no advice that will stop them all you can do is be bigger than they are in terms of this disagreement. they dissaprove? who cares. what are they going to do kick you out of the gang? if so, fuck em, theres plenty of geeks at the park go make new friends.
>>16479529
>>16479542
Thanks for actual advice. It's kinda obvious what I should do, but I always feel like I will just be annoying cutting into some other people's conversation and they might want to tell me to fuck off, but will try to go tomorrow, it's been a while since I last been there.
Also won't post pics just because I don't feel comfortable showing myself in here, but I'm a bit overweight but tall enough to not make it too noticeable. I don't know I think I'm good enough seeing the kind of guys that go around the same circles and get girlfriends there.
>>16479471
>>16479529
>>16479542
now, here is the most important part: actually asking a girl out.
never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ecver ever EVER do this:
>hey femanon, you wanna hang/go out some time?
never. cuz it makes the girl uncomfortable. and whatever you do, never follow it up with
>whatevers good, you decide
or anything along those lines. this is how you kill what lady boner exists. its not assertive, its not manly, its 'hurr durr i have no idea what i like or want!
it makes girls feel like you're already intending to date them. its not good. instead you should do the following
first and foremost ALWAYS HAVE A GO TO DATE.
it shouldn't be too specific. as in it shouldn't be "hey gurl come back to my place and lets watch reruns of dave the barbarian". it shouldn't be going to your own house to hang out, as that is often too quick a move. even if the girl is wildly into watching doctor who, dont invite her to your place.
have a 'go to' date that works in any situation. mine is asking out to get some sushi. almost everyone likes it these days. it feels fancy, but there are plenty of places where you can get a full meal for under 12 bucks, so ur still barely spending.
if she responds with
>oh i dont eally like sushi
say
>oh bummer i love sushi, what do you like?
and when she says
"i only eat non gluten bugs soaked in goatsmilk cuz im some pretentious hipster'
say
>oh that sounds good, i think i heard of a place nearby opening up, why dont we go there? i can pick you up this weekend.
that way your go to date easily opens up based on their preferences.
>if she says shes busy this weekend
say
>well im free next week if you'd like to go, would you like to trade numbers and work it out?
>>16479560
>>16479542
>>16479529
These.
Well said anon.
>>16479560
>well im free next week if you'd like to go, would you like to trade numbers and work it out?
So should I ask them out in person? Let's say I find some qt3.14 tomorrow and start talking about whatever shit, would it be too bold to ask her out in there?
Also my go-to date is also a Japanese/Korean restaurant. I tend to use the clutch of "have you ever tried Korean food?"
>>16479572
In-person works best, but it works if it's messaging.
>>16479555
>good advice
not done yet.
>but i feel rude cutting in
so? there is literally no other way to meet strangers other then stalking them until they are alone then ambushing htem. what do you think is ruder? be charming, polite, and try to work yourself into their flow instead of cutting it off entirely.
>i dont want to post pics
good luck in life but if ur too much of a bitch to post em here, ur too much of a bitch for girls to take seriously. not kidding. being ugly is hard enough, but being a pussy on top of that ruins your game.
anywho>>16479560
continued:
if she says no here, she is clearly not interested. if you dont have money for sushi or that, find a different go to date. even if its just driving up to the park to go through the woods, or to the lake to look at the sunset. pick something so you always have something to suggest when the time comes up.
all that being said, ur 'go to' date is more a last resort. in talking to the girls you should find some other activity to invite them to, especially geeky girls
>oh i love ocmic books, oh em gee
so you say:
>you ever just go to Meltdown(the comic store) and just browse and read for the afternoon?
>no but that sounds like fun
>well i could take you this weekend if you want?
boom. dated.
something to look out for
>oh i cant wait to see the next movie in that series we are talking about in this conversation
>maybe we can go together!
be careful. its hard going on a first date to a movie. to make it easier say something like
>yeah that'd be great, maybe i could buy you lunch beforehand
this gives you time to talk and not be awkward before going to the movie.
remember to be assertive. make it seem like its a good idea nad you are totally goign to do it, and just ask for a sort of confirmation. DONT leave too much up to her other than the exact time (as her schedule permits).
>>16479572
always ask in person if you can.
what girls wnats to say
>OH EM GEE HE TEXTED ME TO GET KOREAN WITH HIM! HOW ROMANTIC
do you know how thrilling it is to get asked on a date in person. its magical, its awesome, it reminds you of a time before technology could block rejection.
if you ask her in person, she is more likely to say yes. its more bold and shows you dont fear rejection, you dont mind it. you just know what you want and go for it.
if you see her around the park often, try to wait until you are really vibing in your conversations before asking. this might be two or three different meetings. but if you dont see her often, you have nothing to lose by asking her then and there, cuz you likely wont see her again if she rejects you anyway.
>>16479586
final piece of advice, and im circling back again here but here goes:
women are not like men. men see a girl, think shes cute, imagine what it could all be like then and there. women see a man, see hes a stranger, and dont feel much of anything unless they are extra fucking attractive.
lets be real here, most of us are 7s at best. not enough for love at first sight.
so when you ask a girl on a date, you aren't asking them to be romantic wiht you, you are asking them to get to know you.
so when you say
>hey lets hang out sometime, do soemthing somewhere
without specifying what, when, or where, yo uare making them uncomfortable. you are asking them to trust you with your willy nilly ness and its even worse if you ask them what they want to do.
it may sound shallow but girls will often go to get a free meal or do an interesting activity evne if they dont find you attractive, cuz its a free meal and an interesting activity.
THIS ACTIVITY is how you make them like you. this meal is hwere they REALLY talk to you and see if you are a cool / good guy. a girl wont make her mind up about you fast. so when you ask her out, be specific, and try to make it worth her while, so she can have the chance to actually get to know you.
thats all my advice, hope it helped.
Yeah helped lots, thanks a bunch.
I actually asked a girl out to dinner 2 weeks ago, and she accepted, gave me her number and so on. But I fucked up trying to text her too much.
She got too sick to go on the day we accepted. And now I tried to ask her yesterday if she is ok if she wants to go tomorrow at the same time and place we decided originally, but hasn't answered yet and it bugs me out. Still she always answers texts super late but I think I fucked up big time trying to text her so much.
here's a terrible pic of me
>>16479614
That can help. my advice? dont be much of a texter.
just saying 'hey whatsup' in order to have a casual conversation is bad. girls might like the attention but you quickly become their personal blog, and they dont need you for much else after that.
be responsive if they have particular questions, but always end with 'oh sorry ,about to do XX' got to go.
make sure that XX is something you generally do, even if ur not actually doing it at that time.
me, video editing.f i do it almost every day so if they ask how that went i always know what to say. have a few things lined up so you dont sound too one note.
>sorry playing laser tag with my friend
>sorry fixing mycar, cant talk much
but always end it with
>cant wait to see you this thursday when we shoot up the school
TL;DR never allow more than 3 minutes of straight conversation through text per day.
>>16479633
thats the spirit anon. i actually think you are REALLY cute. im a bit biased cuz curly hair is actually a fetish of mine.
ur face is actually pretty good too, though the smile at that moment is pretty weird looking.
ur right about the fat not being too noticeable, it is, but if you lose weight, you'll be scoring plenty of girls (or guys, or fish, whatever i dont judge).
if you worked out, even just a tiny bit, i think you'd have a REALLY easy time picking up girls, even not so geeky ones.
my advice is to work out, go for lean not uber muscle, but some definition. then just play up the qt geek boy who could be something more but chooses not to.
id do ya, just sayian.
>>16479634
yeah but still, texted this girl yesterday to see if we're actually going to have the date but hasnt answered, and I've seen her online on the app. Not sure if I should try to text again/call tomorrow to see if there's still a chance or just ignore her altogether.
>>16479641
well, thanks. I know that I just need bit more exercise to look good, I'm kinda lazy. So can I ask for your age/gender, out of curiosity?
>>16479655
You should ignore her !
>>16479655
>texting
if i were you, id wait until next week for a response, then try again, chances are she lost interest, or met someone else, or got busy, or bored, or sleepy, or hungry, or even busier.
wait til next week, then see whats up with her, and try again. if still no response, shes out of the game. its not a losss, its just not a match.
>>16479655
sorry to disappoint but i am a 23 year old male.
trust me on the advice though. being a faggot gives me perspectives on both sides, especially being a geeky fucking faggot.
>>16479579
>good luck in life but if ur too much of a bitch to post em here, ur too much of a bitch for girls to take seriously. not kidding. being ugly is hard enough, but being a pussy on top of that ruins your game.
Not even OP, but how does not wanting your picture to be forever on 4chan = being a pussy?
>>16479701
>not wanting
his exact words were
>uncomfortable.
if ur too uncomfortable just to post a picture of yourself so people can give you advice about yourself, ur too uncomfortable to hit on girls, cuz they are going to judge you way worse than an advice board will.
OP manned up and grew some balls and hes a qt, so it worked. unlike a lot of faggots here hes willing to change if he sees a flaw in himself. the fact that he changed his mind is perhaps even better than him just initially posting the picture.
real bravery is doing something you are afraid to do after all. though perhaps im just glamorizing the situation cuz hes a qt.
>>16479633
dress nice, it will work well for you.
>>16479633
how tall?
