I don't know exactly what I want, but, I know it's not this...
I'm sure most of you have had some interesting life events, and have gone through a lot of trauma, so some of you might understand where I'm coming from
I think I want to end my life...
>physically and mentally abused by brother/sister/father
>my mom decided she couldn't handle my father anymore, or his abuse, so, she left, as a single mother, with 5 kids
>Became homeless at 8yro
>lived in seattle wa, on the streets, for almost 2 years (until I was almost 10)
>moved to a smaller city
>dad wasn't around anymore, mom was finally working, as a single mother
>older brother (2yrs older than me), and sister (3yrs older), stomped my head into the concrete, countless times
>brother stabbed me twice (when I was 11)
>one of my brothers died (I was still 11), my mom became emotionally crippled, and my brother and sister became even more violent
>I continue to receive beatings, and, having my head slammed into the ground/cement by them (a lot)
>mom never did anything to stop it, no talking, spanking, grounding, nothing... Not that she could, she was either always at work, or at the casino gambling...
>I left home when I was 15 years old, to live, and make it on my own...
>I lived on my own until I was 21 years old... I began to have seizures... I have epilepsy now :X
>The neurologist told me the seizures were/are caused by head trauma I had received as a child (I.e. my brother, sister, and father)
>lost my job because of the seizures, being hospitalized and not being able to go to work, sometimes for a week+ at a time
>hard time finding work... Who wants to hire an unskilled 21yro, with epilepsy?
>I had to move back home
>I've found more work for myself, thankfully, but, with my medical condition, and how many seizures I sometimes have, I can only work 15-20 hours a week (I was working full time, and overtime a lot), which isn't really enough to support myself
>Brother and sister both still living at home, with mom, never having tried to even make it on their own
>brother and sister are both healthy individuals (at least, physically), nothing wrong with them
>brother and sister are simply too lazy to go find work
>Ever since I was a child, my mom has favoured my brother and sister, she still does
>24yro now, still only capable of working 15-20hours a week... Have 10+ seizures a month (usually in clusters/getting worse)
>my mom told me I needed to leave, that I wasn't contributing enough.... I'm working, and doing as much as I can...
>she hasn't said anything to my lazy fuck brother or sister, and shows absolute favoritism towards them, even though neither has ever worked a job in their life, or supported themselves
Fuck man, maybe I just need someone to talk to... Idfk :X
Or maybe, I'm a little bitch... I, just don't know anymore.
Look for a roommate. .. rent a small room whenever... try to make it on your own bro... never give up... i know it sounds cliche but if you have a stone will nobody will destroy it....
Im cheering for you even if i dont know you anon.
You are a good person... and you deserve better
Maybe you can ask the goverment for food stamps and other benefits bro...
Im pretty sure that with your condition and the time that you are working you will be able to get something extra
Ask how you can recieve benefits from the government for being epilpsy. If you do succeed, I would suggest moving far away, somewhere that gives you freedom from your troubles. And where you can start to reevaluate your life.
If you cant get government stipends I suggest going to a disabled employment agency and explaining your situation. From there you should explore about work opportunities and as soon as you make enough money. Move out.
Removing yourself from a bad situation is always a smart move
>>16477894
I've been looking for awhile now... I haven't found a room for less than 450$, leaving me about 150$ for all other expenses... I'm sure I could handle that, I'm used to being poor/budgeting really tightly
>>16477898
I make less than the amount to get foodstamps, I can try that route, it definitely would help
>>16477932
I'm trying to get disability of some type, but, I've been denied every time, although I will keep trying... They said that, I have to have at least 2 seizures a month, with documentation (from the er doctor)... Which I do... They just keep denying me anyways (so ig if I ever do get accepted, I should get several years "backpay")...
I work for a local community center atm, they're very very understanding thankfully.
I realize too (I'm trying to go back to school) is, if I can get a better education (I can't do any of the work I'm trained to do anymore), I may be able to support myself again, which is what I want...
Thank you three for the kind words, and advice.
