How should I deal with being incredibly apathetic? (I think that's the right term). Is there a way to be less apathetic or should I just pick a random response and pretend that's what I want/feel?
I mean that's largely what I've done, but lately I feel like it's such a huge waste of my time.
For example:
>Boss asks if I want to fire my coworker or give them a second chance
>I truly don't care
>asks if I want time off
>I truly don't care
>boyfriend asks how xyz is
>I truly don't care
>Someone asks how I'm doing
>I have no 'natural' response to this. I usually just say what I'm physically doing instead
It's to the point where everyone thinks something is wrong or I'm not being honest. It's actually irritating me to reply. My quality of life will be the same regardless of what I answer, so unless it directly affects me why bother making it up?
Is being a functioning adult really just lying to everyone all the time? Why do we bother? It feels like such a strain to put on such a big act for no apparent reason.
>>16475888
Being apathetic is awesome. No matter the outcome of pretty much any action, I won't be affected and I'll just keep doing what I'm doing while others would break down.
>>16475888
You may be somewhat lacking in empathy. That said, >>16475921 is right, apathy is a useful life skill that took me years to grasp.
>boyfriend asks how xyz is
>I truly don't care
If you don't care about anything why do you have a boyfriend?
>Someone asks how I'm doing
>I have no 'natural' response to this
The one I always go with is 'fine'. It also has the bonus of being brief enough to shit down further conversation.
>>16475888
>>16475921again
However, even I have some drive and would enjoy additional time off, so maybe there is something wrong with you. Do you have any goals at all in life?
>>16475921
Well it's refreshing to see an optimistic view on it, at least!
>>16475927
>lacking in empathy
I guess I am. I don't really think about it.
>If you don't care about anything why do you have a boyfriend
I guess I must care about things to some extent, otherwise I'd probably just be homeless or dead or whatever. I like having a boyfriend because it's like having a roommate you can have reliable sex with.
>saying fine
That's smart. I'll learn the skill of your ways, senpai
>>16475930
Huh. Not really, no. I mean on the off chance I do or don't want something I put my foot down or go after it stubbornly. But I can't see the point of long term goals, since you lose interest eventually... it looks to me like people chase things just to have something to chase and I can't say I understand that.
Appreciate the replies, anyway!
I think I'm in the same boat?
>have no real desires
>have no life goals
>have very few 'wants' in general
I exist on very little. What 'hobbies' I have are more like rollover habits from adolescence (video/card games, internet nonsense). I make friends easily but have no drive to maintain friendships and lose them just as easily- my social contact is strictly coincidences. And I don't really feel bad or happy about anything, I just kinda exist. I think the strongest emotion I've felt in years is frustration/anger at shitty drivers on the road.
>bf asks how xyz is
Well I don't see how that has anything to do with whether or not you care.
You might just be depressed?
>but anon I don't feel sad, just a lack of emotion
That's what depression is.
>>16476073
Yeah that sounds kinda right. I don't understand, are we actually missing something or is everyone else honestly just pretending?
>>16476087
I probably didn't explain it very well. I don't care that he's asking, I don't care to explain, I don't care about xyz.
Like 'hows your family?'
I get he is making conversation but I don't care to talk to someone about my family, i don't care how they are doing, and I don't care what he cares about. Except 'family' example could be replaced with any variable and be the same.
>>16476007
>But I can't see the point of long term goals
Me neither, though I would also add that achieving them will likely just leave an empty place in your life where the pursuit of them used to be.
That said, there must be things you prefer to do with your time. I enjoy fiction, in a number of forms, for instance. I read books or watch anime or something.
>>16476121
But do you care about *him*? If for instance he were to die suddenly, do you think you would be bothered by it for any reason besides sudden lack of sex?
I think something about this age we live on has made us like this. Maybe there isn't enough death and tragedy in our lives.
>>16476102
I've considered this, to be honest, but I don't know. I don't really understand depression. I've tried reading about it a bunch and asked 1st hand opinions of people I know diagnosed with depression and I don't think I can relate to it.
Is a lack of care on it's own really depression? I don't feel an 'emptiness' or whatever.
>>16475888
I feel you.
When we recently visited relatives, they asked me what I think about their new curtains.
Said something like "they are nice, I guess" and then they looked at me funny.
They are just fucking curtains, they are just hanging there. What am I supposed to say, I don't care what they look like.
>>16476134
>I would also add that achieving them will likely just leave an empty place in your life where the pursuit of them used to be
The idea of the chase being better than the prize, right?
>That said, there must be things you prefer to do with your time. I enjoy fiction, in a number of forms, for instance. I read books or watch anime or something.
Yeah, to pass time I do all sorts of things. Anime, videogames, exercise, night clubs, whatever. But I feel content just sitting there, too. I guess I could just be easily pleased.
>do you care about *him*?
I think I do. I don't think I'd be bothered by anything other than the lack of sex, no. But at the same time I must care, or why would I be with just him?
I think it would be fair to say I don't care about him as a person, though. I think that is part of the apathy, I don't really care about anyone as a person. I don't really understand why anyone does.
Do you care about other people?
>>16476142
This is an interesting theory, senpai. We have built a generation on instant gratification, too, maybe it all contributes to this state of being?
>>16476148
Isn't that right, though? All these things are so trivial, why is everyone wasting time pretending they matter?
And if it matters to you, why do you expect other people to care?
It seems like some kind of social entitlement.
>>16476185
>Do you care about other people?
Yes. Though I would state that there is a difference between *caring* about other people and being *interested* in other people. I care about close family and I care about my one or two friends because I am emotionally invested in them. I don't particularly care about strangers, but I have a degree of empathy/sympathy/whatever and try not make things needlessly difficult for them because I know how that feels.
>But at the same time I must care, or why would I be with just him?
This sounds like something you should pick your brain about later. The answers may turn out to be important.
>>16476206
Oh, I see. I think I am the other way around, then. I mean I don't go out of my way to ruin someone's day but if I unintentionally did so it doesn't make a difference. Otherwise you make sense.
Though maybe I just don't understand and think that I do.
>you should pick your brain about later. The answers may turn out to be important.
Ah, I get what you mean. I think I prefer the convenience, though, of how it is. I just didn't want to say I absolutely have zero care because my actions would logically contradict that.
>>16476255
>Ah, I get what you mean. I think I prefer the convenience, though, of how it is.
Just be careful not to take it for granted. It would suck to lose him and only then realise how you felt.
