Is it a turnoff if a guy tells you how he feels when you're casually dating? Or is it better to just let things progress?

Been seeing this girl for a while, not really dating, we've been friends for a while, we've had dates where we've seen a movie, or she's hung out at my place and we just chilled. We've also spent some time fooling around but no sex yet. This has been going on for months on and off. I went through the entire month of October without seeing her but we've seen each other every week since then in some capacity. I'm not sure where we are. It seems casual, but I really like her and I don't think she knows how I'm feeling. All I want to tell her is some variation of "I'm really into you and I look forward to everytime we hang out" in order to let her know I want something more than just casually seeing each other on the weekends. It seems like there's always a cloud of uncertainty or some sort of tension when we hang out and I can't tell if it's because we both want to take things further or if she is aware of my intentions and doesn't want it. Her vibe always seems to be different, sometimes she seems into me and others it seems like I'm just there, I'm not able to read her very well and it's making me unsure.

Bonus question! How high school is it for a 25 year old man to ask her friend how she feels? Her friend only recently found out we've been seeing each other (neither her nor me have told any of our friends, she only happens to know through a coincidence). I've known her friend a for a long time and are good friends ourselves. She seemed happy when she told me she knew about us and I figure it's a good opportunity to gain some kind of insight into how she feels about me, but it feels totally pathetic and sad to do so. Is it?

>>16474114
>Is it a turnoff if a guy tells you how he feels when you're casually dating?
Only if she actually doesn't want something serious. Have you ever talked about feelings in general, like anything emotional? There are people who don't think men should generally admit to or show any emotion/feeling. There are others who realize that's stupid.
Just tell her. If she's turned off, that sucks but it'd be better for you to cut ties anyways since you want more and she doesn't. If she replies positively, well then you can talk about being "official" or whatever.
Don't involve the friend.

>>16474114
Didn't read the TL;DR, but if we're just casually dating and it's not serious, then I'd probably back off if he told me about his feelings and I felt we weren't on the same page.

>>16474130
We have talked about emotional things, but not in regards to relationships or anything. That's part of what is making me unsure, neither of has acknowledged that we're dating. We just text each other "Hey you free tonight? Want to hang out and do something?" Which leads to doing date stuff and sometimes leads to other things as well. We've talked about issues with our families (she never knew her father, I'm estranged from mine) we've talked about her issues with anxiety and her fear of death, I've talked about dealing with my social anxiety and coming out of my shell these past few years. It's not every time we hang out but talking about feelings in general does come up.

It just all feels a little strange, and because I've never been in a relationship before (probably should've mentioned that before) I don't exactly know what the next step should be, hence me asking about telling her how I feel. Another thing is that I know that she feels bad that she hasn't had a boyfriend in 4 years (she's mentioned this in group convos, not just me and her) and feels left out because of it, I know she wants A relationship, the thing is, despite us seeing each other, I don't know if she thinks of me as boyfriend material and I don't want to just dump my feelings on her and make her feel pressured or anything.

Anyways, I feel like I have to tell her how I feel the next time I see her. I want something more with her, or at least let her know that I want something more and put the ball in her court. I might lose what we have now, but being so unsure everytime we see each other is mentally exhausting. So how do I bring it up? What exactly do I say? When do I tell her? Right when I see her? At some random point in the night? before she leaves so that she can think about it and not make things awkward if she doesn't feel the same?

>>16474132
Then i guess my question would be how do you know if it's serious pr not? I've never been in a relationship before, I don't know when causal becomes serious. Is it a matter of time? a certain feeling you get? when you start having sex? when?

Guys, is it weird for a girl to be a virgin at 19-20? I'm not weird or unattractive, I've just never had time for a bf so I haven't pursued anything.
Would it be a red flag for you?

>>16474180

Not in the least. But most guys are only going to approach you if they are either trophy hunting or looking for something serious if they know that.

>>16474180
Absolutely not. But then again I'm not in the age range where having as much sex as possible is as appealing to me as having a committed relationship. I can see that your male peers might have a problem since you being a virgin means that getting in your pants is significantly harder, but if you're looking for a relationship and not just a fling then no, I would say you're actually more appealing a virgin than not, but that's just me.

why are the majority of women stupid?

(i already know the answer)

Is it irrational to tell my new gf to take her pics off of facebook of her and her ex? I know she would do it if I asked her, we have been dating for three months prior to becoming official and we feel pretty strongly about each other.. I just find it odd that she didn't delete them after they broke up. She even has pics of her with her first boyfriend from like 2010 up too. I thought this was uncommon, then I looked at one of my single female friends FB and she has pics of her and her ex up still

Do they just not give a fuck and I'm looking too far into it?

>>16474203
correct

>>16474206
Um

>>16474203

They mostly give no fucks.

>>16474209
I guess so. It does not make me feel particularly insecure, I just found it odd. Guess I won't bother with it.

>>16474151
Wow, okay. Lots of questions.
There isn't really any one "right" thing to say or do. Say what you feel. You could make it a conversation with what you said earlier
"I'm really into you and I look forward to every time we hang out together. What about you?"
Get her response which will be positive, negative, or unsure/put on the spot.
Positive, then like I said you can ask about officially dating. Full on negative response isn't something I'd imagine, but she should pick up on why you're asking and give some sort of "I enjoy it but not as invested as you are" if she doesn't want more. Unsure, then give her time.
Bring it up sometime that feels natural, not immediately. I guess if you wanted a lead-in, maybe when she does or says something that reminds you why you really like her. "That right there is what makes you awesome. You know, I'm really into you..." And then continue with the above.
Talking about feelings is good. Doesn't sound like she's the type to be instantly turned off by it then. You're not dumping your feelings on her unless you make it some big giant speech. Great as it seems in movies, it gives the person a bit too much to take in sometimes.

Girls: So far I've lost 60 pounds this year. From 325 to 265, I'm still overweight but I'm working on it and still making progress.

My question is: could I go ahead and start dating? see this really cute girl, personality stuff is good, thinking about making a move. or would it be better to wait it out for a few more months before giving it a try? I don't think she'd judge on that but I just wanted to see how much stock you'd put into appearance if you know the person was actively working and achieving goals.

To give you some background, I'm a legitimate 6'1 without shoes ex-athlete and manly woodlands type guy. She's wanting a southern gentleman that can show her how to hunt and stuff. I fit the bill. I'm just insecure about the weight issue.

tl;dr - should i be insecure about my weight even thought I've lost 60 pounds this year, and should this keep me from approaching attractive skinny girls instead of just waiting another 6-12 months for me to be even skinnier?

>>16474213
I've really only seen people delete everything when it's a messy breakup. Some people consider deleting everything to be immature and petty.

>>16474197
>>16474189
Alright. That's fine since I want a serious relationship.

>>16474221
Personally I'd only find it an issue if you didn't want to lose weight. Likewise with everything else. Bad job, smoke, unfit, etc? I don't care, as long as you want to and are trying to change for the better.

So give it a try :)

Could I get a female input for >>16474080 please?

More specifically: if you had/have a step-cousin, would you do any of those things with them? What level of closeness do you consider normal? Would handholding/sleeping in the same bed be normal closeness??

Ladies

At 1AM in the morning while drunk and with access to facebook and my phone I'm a dog. You get this, and don't judge me toooooooo hard for it, right?

>>16474252
Depends entirely on the girl, how close you are, if she's interested, how many times you message, if you persist after being told no, if she's already in a relationship etc.

>>16474218
My intention was never to make it some big, movie-like confession. I like to think that even though I'm inexperienced in dating and relationships, I have enough social awareness not to go full on crazy like that. It's not like I'm in love with her or anything anyway, I just felt that maybe she was just as unsure of our situation as I was and I wanted to let her know firmly that I'm into her and I like her. Your suggestion about leading into it with the whole "That's what makes you awesome" thing sounds perfect as I've recently learned she's an artist and went to an art exhibition of hers and it honestly made me really crazy about her. I know what it's like to create and put your stuff out in the world for other people to judge and criticize and the fact that she can do it with such confidence really makes me want her more then ever.

I'm digressing, but yeah, talking about her art is something we haven't really discussed just 1 on 1 or anything and would be easy for me to lead into telling what I think about her.

For girls but don't mind male input either:

This is actually a very serious question I have. This past weekend something happened.

It was early Sunday morning. I'm a guy, and I'm walking back from a party with another guy. We stopped off at the kind of grocery store on campus and bought some stuff before heading onward to our house (just off campus). We walk past a couple people waiting for the college shuttle. It's a guy and a girl; they're in formal wear. She's wearing a short dress/skirt. Without thinking, literally, I yell "nice legs." Immediately the guy starts screaming at me, including "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?" I continue walking with my friend, and I even start laughing. I'm pretty sure that was out of surprise at the reaction I received.

The next day the friend I was walking with sends me a picture on fb: the dude (neither of us knew him or the girl) has a made post decrying my supposedly sexist and bigoted behavior, saying he literally doesn't feel safe on the campus.

I actually reached out to him and her privately, saying I was sorry for any harm I caused as it was unintentional. I said it was a foolish drunk think to say and that the evidence that I was not trying to be malicious lies in the fact that I do not mind such comments. I then said that, however, I understood why it was unacceptable to assume others would feel the same way. I said that I hadn't realized the difference between a comment like "you're pretty" and what now appears to be the much more sexyalized "nice legs."

About half of the realization and apology stuff was true, but I said it anyway. The responses I received suggested race played a factor in what happened (I'm white; the girl is not; guy Latino or slmething).

My question for the girls is, whether you'd bottle it up or let it out, do you have that vitriolic of a response to a comments like that? And please, consider the context, college campus 2 am on Sunday, no one is out unless they are/were partying

Cont.

>>16474265
Wasn't trying to say you'd do that, just trying to calm your worries about dumping your feeling on her. It shouldn't be like that unless you go overboard. You remind me of my relationship. The stuff you said about both of your anxieties and fears sounds like me and my boyfriend, just switched. Though I'm the one that never met my dad, and he's not close to his.
Interesting. Anyway, I wish you luck

>>16474286
Continued:

More context, I know I said it about as benignly as possible. I didn't even stop walking. And the hilarious thing about them thinking race was involved is that I was so drunk (and a little cross faded) that I literally never even noticed their faces. I couldn't even tell what race they were until I looked them up on Facebook.

Now, needless to say those are not the kind of people I like to be around: people who are extremely uptight like that and who can't accept an apology for... two objectively mild words put together in a statement. There were no racial slurs, and the comment was made exactly once. No physical following occurred, nothign like that. Maybe I'm just favoring myself, but looking back on it, I feel like the comment was barely made to anyone. It could have just as easily been a whisper to my friend I feel like.

So girls, do you hate that kind of thing that much? Do you absolutely despise a man who would say something like that? Would you feel so endangered by it on a Sunday morning on a college campus where everyone is probably drunk? Do you immediately feel like you might be raped? I'm frankly just a little afraid to ask any female friends; I don't have any really close ones.

I Appreciate the responses

>>16474286
>>16474306

I don't know about that couple, but I'm a guy who is exceptionally pretty: if I can handle being cat called because I've been mistaken for a girl at 11 PM by black dudes, then they can handle one little comment.

...I'm 6'3 and 200ish pounds, I have no fucking clue how I could be mistaken for a grill. It's weird being cat called though, because on the one hand it's flattering but also a bit scary.

>>16474288
Thanks for the help. I plan on seeing her again this weekend at some point and hopefully it's as easy to tell her how I feel as it sounds in my head.

Btw, if she responds positively, that would be the time to go in for the kiss, right? Seems right but idk wtf I'm doing really.

>>16474203
Facebook is like a diary. A photo shoot of their lives. She's not going to forget that happened. Sure, if it's her Facebook profile picture or something. But I don't delete photos unless they're bad photos or have illegal stuff in it.

>>16474311
Yea I'm from a big city and gay guys have cat called me a few times. It's always been in a public place, and I haven't given a shit cuz they seem like pussies. I'll be the first to admit that id be uncomfortable if it were a huge black guy.

But I'm not a person who cat calls girls. That's not who I am. It's like I see a pair of legs and just yell out something without any intention of starting a conversation, and I even apologize for it later. But I'm still hated. I'm just trying to understand the average female mind here.

I feel like the two people are equation it with letting some racial slur slip and then apologizing, so you don't know if the person meant it or not. Whereas I see it more as maybe letting a "I want to fuck you" slip. You admit it's inappropriate, and then move on. It's not disparaging, but they're throwing all this blah blah objectify my body bullshit at me. I'm thinking, sure I objectified you're body, and now I'm no longer doing it because you seem like scum of the earth, and I hate you, and your legs weren't even that great. You were just in a fucking short skirt.

>>16474252
I judge anyone who drunk texts me who isn't someone who messages me regularly. It shows you lack self control.

>>16474286
>>16474306
Ugh. Disgusting cat caller. How could you ever think that'd make a girl feel good? I don't care if you're saying "you're pretty" or "nice ass" you're still a random guy YELLING at me about my body.

80% of guys can take me down. I don't like attracting drunk guy's attentions. I've been cat called, and when I ignored him, the guy followed me and kept yelling. "What, are you too good for me?" "Look at me, bitch!" "I'm just giving you a compliment!!"
He didn't follow me super far before grumbling and turning back, but damn was my heart racing.

I'm falling for a girl who's scared to start a serious relationship because of several reasons. She says that she loves me and we've been dating almost everyday. Do you think that maybe I could convince her to try? She's been giving some signs that she might, but then she gets on her "I'm not really sure I should" mood and confuses me a bit...I'm not planning to resign, I really love this girl

>>16474330
>But I'm not a person who cat calls girls. That's not who I am. It's like I see a pair of legs and just yell out something

>I don't cat call
>Except for when I do

?????

>>16474355
This seems just a little bit like bait, but I'll go for it.

The main thing I pointed out is that what I said was totally in a vacuum. Literally nothing else happened. I would never follow a girl like that or repeatedly make advances that aggressive. And I apologized later. You would still hate the guy for that?

>>16474362
I'd literally never done it before.

>>16474365
Yes. Why yell at anyone? It puts me on edge. I don't know you. I don't know if you'd follow me. It doesn't make me feel hot it just makes me tense up.
You think that apologizing makes everything ok. You still did it. Don't do it again. Apoligizng doesn't mean they owe you forgiveness. You don't even sound that sorry.

>>16474362
What I meant by that is every other time in my life I either keep it to myself or will mention it to a friend I'm with. It was just a foolish, drunk thing to do. And I feel like my character is being attacked as if I were defending rape by saying the aggressor was drunk.

I was drunk and I put two words together that shouldn't have been put together. Am I a bad person for that? Is a sincere apology not enough?

>>16474286
just have some class, seriously, i'm a girl and a guy who would ever dream/consider saying what you did gets scratched from the 'dateable' category in my mind. Don't use being drunk as an excuse either. By the way, you're lucky you didn't get beat up by the guy.

>>16474383
From this
>I said that I hadn't realized the difference between a comment like "you're pretty" and what now appears to be the much more sexyalized "nice legs."
I wouldn't really believe you learned your lesson. It's the yelling and singling girls out to comment on their body. Either is bad. "Nice legs" is worse but "You're pretty" isn't going to fill me with warm and fuzzy feelings.

I think the guy is being a bit over the top, but I'm also not surprised. Girls get cat called a lot less when they're around men so that might have been the first time he's run into that.

I've had similar feelings to the guy but I wouldn't get all mad on social media. That just makes me a target. I just bottle it up, to answer your original question.

>>16474381
I'm sorry if my apology seems fake. I would never want to make someone uncomfortable just to make that person uncomfortable. If I seem defensive it's because of two things: a) other things like race were brought into the conversation that literally have nothing to do with it and b) there's a suggestion that revealing my attraction means I have also revealed some kind of rape desire, which I absolutely don't have.

>>16474402
Thank you for your constructive response. I think I just have to not get cross faded in the future, and I'll be good. I realized that cat calling was generally not appreciated before all of this, but I did not realize the extent to which it is not appreciated. I think I've gotten good feedback here, though.

I do still feel like an apology should do more than mine did in the situation, but I understand that I twisted things in the first place, so I can only expect so much from those people.

>>16474306
I don't like it, and would be pretty uncomfortable if some drunk guy said something about me in front of my boyfriend. I can't imagine him yelling or blowing it to those proportions. But I'd understand him saying something at least. Typically it's considered kind of emasculating if a guy makes your girlfriend uncomfortable and you stand there doing nothing, right?
I wouldn't necessarily feel so endangered, but you have to consider that from a girls perspective, a guy being drunk doesn't mean he's safe and just saying shit. It's a stranger who is intoxicated and stronger than her. It's generally better to err on the side of caution. So, I wouldn't assume immediate rape was coming towards me. But I might be sure to watch whether you're really walking away and not coming back, or if you stop and sort of lurk around.
They went overboard. If they were drinking too that may have added to the aggressive response. I'd accept the apology but I'd still wish none of it had happened in the first place. Prevention would be as simple as not doing that kind of thing.

>>16474403
Ok, you're doing this thing. You are assuming that people know you.
The reason it is scary is that she doesn't know you. Sure, you're no rapist. But SHE doesn't know that. She's not saying you are a rapist. She's just being cautious.
It is NOT obvious that you don't have a rape desire. And I'm not going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, I just want to get away from him if I feel uncomfortable.

Your intentions mean jack shit. Cat callers usually have "positive" intentions, thinking they're paying a compliment. Everyone's the hero of their own story.
But all she sees is your actions. If your actions don't line up with your intentions, you should change your actions.

She owes you no trust. You remind me of a driver I encountered. I hesitated crossing the street in front of him since he was creeping and not making eye contact with me. He leaned out of the window and yelled, "What, do you think I'm just going to run you over?" Well, I don't know him! He just might. Until I see that he has obvious intention to stop and has acknowledged me, I do not know if he'll run the stop sign and kill me.
It was nothing personal to him. But he took it personally.

It's the same for you.

>>16474403
>About half of the realization and apology stuff was true
>I'm sorry if my apology seems fake
Topkek

>>16474423
And even after an apology you wouldn't be able to ever trust that person, would you?

That's what I've learned through this. Perhaps I'm just a more open person, or the female brain is more rigid with associations, but I wasn't aware that an interaction like that can inform someone's entire opinion about a person. Words simply do not have that much meaning to me.

Like I'm guessing you believe that the guy in your creepy scenario gets into those situations often if not worse ones. That's what pains me about all this. I had my alcohol fuck up. Not manslaughter, no racial slurs, no rape. Two words, and those two words have come o define me for at least two people. That is the sum of what I am to them.

You can say I'm not being truthful when I say I don't judge people like that. When I say that someone who's obviously really drunk like that and says something like that doesn't get big X in my book if all of it happens in a public place with other people around. You can say I'm lying, but I truly believe I don't leap to conclusions that quickly. I truly believe it, and I understand I can't make everyone conform to me, but I do believe if we account everything, weight height, race, sex, in this situation and put me in her shoes I wouldn't be as angry. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

Infertile anon from last thread here.

If anyone's interested I broke up with my gf, went really badly because I couldn't give a reason, eventually I spat out I was infertile and she stopped caring. Her brother came over and got her stuff.

gg a year of my life gg ever finding a wife.

>>16474429
Yea that sounded bad. What I meant was I'm fully disturbed that that I made someone feel uncomfortable, but I also wanted to defend my actions and make myself seem like a better person than I did.

>>16474450
Sorry that happened, but it was kind of inevitable. There are girls out there who are also infertile or who don't want kids, if that gives you hope.

>>16474450
You're a fucking idiot. You should have talked with her about it instead of straight up breaking up with her. It might have still led to you breaking up but at least you could've talked about it.

>>16474447
Okay here's how I look at this. I'm not going to hate you. But I don't like you right now. I've had one interaction and it was negative. I'll probably avoid you but I'm not going to actively think about how much you suck.
If I end up meeting you more through mutual friends or whatever, maybe this would end up being a funny story.

Why do you care so much about what this girl thinks of you? I know that there are people out there who don't think highly of me because of some awkward one off mistake. But I am confident in myself to know that I am usually a good person. Their dislike of me doesn't change my self perception because I know that they're only seeing what little they've seen of me. They don't know the rest, it only makes sense that they'd make their perception based off of what they know.
So I shrug and move on. I won't interact with those people pretty much ever again. I'll use it as a learning experience to not say stupid things. I'm not mad that they're not trying to get to know me better. I don't care about them, they don't care about me.

>>16474459
Yeah I've actually just made a profile on a dating site aimed at the infertile.

>>16474462
Sit back, watch, judge, without offering any advice to any of my earlier posts, I don't care what you think bitch.

>>16474450
Child free is becoming more and more popular. Assuming you don't want kids.
Among my female friends, it's a solid half/half split between wanting kids and not.

>>16474450
Yeah, multiple people said it was a terrible idea to get that far into a relationship and lead someone on talking about naming your kids, without mentioning you either don't want them or can't have them.
Talk about it very early on. Some women actually don't want kids. It's not the majority of men or women. Quick search on percentages say more and more women are either waiting later or not having children at all.

>>16474468
Good luck. Let this be a lesson to you to always disclose it early on in the relationship should you ever date women outside of that site.

>>16474423
>>16474422
>>16474402
>>16474381
>>16474362
>>16474355
Thank you for all your responses. I'm glad my shittiest drunk experience so far (and hopefully ever in my life) is me cat calling a girl when I really think there was just as big a chance in that moment, if played out again, that I just say it to my friend or keep it to myself. I'm glad to know how disturbed girls are by that kind of thing.

At this point im not sure whether I should own it and make it known amongst my male and female friends that I just fucked up and surprised myself by being so foolish or if I should try to keep it under wraps.

I'm not going to drink alcohol this weekend, and if anyone asks why I may bring it up.

>>16474465
I don't really give a shot what she thinks of me. I'm wondering if I can should feel willing and able to divulge this to my female friends. Can WE have a laugh at my stupid decision and still be close? My character is good in the eyes of the people that know me, or so I like to believe. How much can this reduce it? I'm a funny enough guy, so it won't be somber while I'm telling the story. Will a girls hate that even more? "Now he's joking about making that girl feel terrible!!"

>>16474474
Now you give me useless advice you think would help one year into a relationship, keep up the damage control, bitch.

>>16474477
The only thing I've learnt (and I recommend everyone does it) get STD tests everytime you have sex with a new partner, avoiding the situation I'm in completely.

>>16474489
>The only thing I've learnt (and I recommend everyone does it) get STD tests everytime you have sex with a new partner, avoiding the situation I'm in completely.
That's just common sense.

>>16474496
Not if you're a naive virgin and told the person you're losing your virginity to is also a virgin.

>>16474484
If you bring it up, just be self depreciating
>It was so stupid!
>They got so mad at me, I was so embarrassed.
>I learned a lot. I knew cat calling was bad but I really got some perspective on why.
>It was the first time I had done that and boy is it my last!
>I've gotta drink less, so I won't make a fool of myself again haha

Saying all these would spin you in a better light. My annoyance with the guys who talk about "it was a compliment! I didn't mean it aggressively!" is a lot of them keep cat calling after learning it makes girls uncomfortable.
Hearing an ignorant guy talk about his reformation is very satisfying. Make clear that you learned your lesson.

Just don't excuse it. Excuses, while intending to show your side, only make you look worse. Own it completely.

>>16474489
Damage control? How can I do that for something I had zero part in? And no, I'm giving you advice if you ever decide to date someone again. There was no advice to give you last thread because you'd already lied enough to ensure your relationship was fucked.

>>16474517
Bitch stop replying to me.

I have never once lied to her, not once did I tell her I was fertile, I was too embarrassed about being tricked by my first gf to tell her about the chlamydia etc. I'm the one who picked the child names (I picked them when I was 17) she agree'd.

Bottom line nothing you've said has helped, before I tried to calm that anon saying there's no point getting emotional about things you can't change but you're displaying the exact personality type of the bitch who got me in this situation.

Go fuck yourself cunt.

>>16474484
As >>16474422 based on your responses in this thread, I wouldn't hold it against you. I wouldn't necessarily laugh, I'd just explain the other side of it like I did in my response
>I really think there was just as big a chance in that moment, if played out again, that I just say it to my friend or keep it to myself. I'm glad to know how disturbed girls are by that kind of thing.
Would be a good thing to say. If you said that, I wouldn't feel like I needed to explain anything more to you. As someone who doesn't know you, I said they blew it out of proportion. People who are actually your friends and KNOW it's not at all like you? It's their issue if they change their minds about you or they're attaching other problems from their personal experiences that had nothing to do with you. They'll likely take your side I'd think, at least as a friend who knew you I would because everything you've posted sounds reasonable.

>>16474523
>here's no point getting emotional about things you can't change but you're displaying the exact personality type of the bitch who got me in this situation
I literally have no idea what you're talking about. Because I think you should talk to someone early in a relationship if you can't have kids, I am probably the type who'd get an STD and give it to someone? That's a pretty insane jump.

>not once did I tell her I was fertile
But by telling her child names you picked out and having her agree with them, that's sort of an indirect lie. It's assumed people are fertile. If you don't want to call it a lie, then you were just withholding very important information that would entirely change what she chooses to do.

If you don't want responses, don't post. But no one here is at fault for your situation.

>>16474557
The fact you can't let it go, you have to have the final say and spit assumptions at me while trying to belittle me.
>I didn't belittle
Read through your posts, passive aggressiveness is worse than being straight up.

Fact, My relationship with her is OVER as of 5 hours ago.
Fact, this conversation does nothing but waste both our time.
Fact, I'm on an infertility dating website, yet you still push your bullshit "you better not date any real women" agenda at me.
Fact, I don't blame anyone for this situation but my first gf and myself.
Fact, I will never trust women again.

>indirect lie
Yeah, keep changing your story, first I've "Already lied enough to ensure my relationship was fucked"
Now I've "indirectly lied"

You're literally just keeping this conversation going to belittle me.

And this; Fuck off cunt.

>>16474578
And thus; Fuck off cunt.*

What are general topics you talk about when trying to get to know someone when you first meet them in a friendly manner?

>>16474590
What you do for a living, what you study/studied, where you're from, family, interests and hobbies, not politics or religion, casual observations about where you are etc.

>>16474578
My first response was just saying why your outcome was expected and how to handle future relationships. I'd have let it go at that. You started with the attacks and crying damage control, so I responded. I'm somehow supposed to know now that you're on a infertility website too? Show me one place I said "you better not date any real women." I just said it's something you might want to be upfront with. I think the same of women, if they're infertile they should tell their partner early on

>gg a year of my life gg ever finding a wife.
>Fact, I will never trust women again.
Doesn't seem like you only blame yourself and your ex. STD was out of your control obviously. But saying you wasted a year and wont find a wife as GG sounded more like it was out of your control.
Personally I took agreeing to kids names as a lie. You don't seem to, so I tried to explain it to you as an indirect lie. Is indirectly lying about something important so much better somehow?

I'm literally just keeping this conversation going because you reply. I acknowledge that most of the time any conversations on 4chan do nothing but waste time. You spat assumptions at me first, I returned the favor.

>>16474623
I'm done with your bullshit lies.

This was the first line of your very first reply to me.
>You're a fucking idiot.
Yet you say
>My first response was just saying why your outcome was expected and how to handle future relationships.

Women everyone!

>>16474629
>reply to two posts in 1 post
>get 1 reply
>take a wild guess at which one of the people you replied to it is
>get it still wrong with literally 50% odds to getting it right
Confirmed for a fucking idiot.

>>16473948
Girls, Femanons:

I have input and output. I need to know what the fuck is going on.

>have GF
>almost 5 years together
>in college now
>find a job through a friend of my mom's
>contract work, translation
>tell GF
>expect she'll be happy for me, I'm feeling on top of the world
>she just replies with "oh, that's nice."
>not even a fucking smiley

Why is she being like that? When I got the first one, she just pushed it off by saying "Oh, that's nice, but when I start working, I won't let myself be pushed through by people." She probably just thinks that because a friend told me about the job, that I got "pushed through". Today I saw an advert looking for translators from THAT SAME COMPANY! AT MY SCHOOL!

I'm really dumbfounded, you guys. What the fuck is going on. I want to marry this woman, but if every book/contract I do is going to be like this, it's fucking ridiculous.

to the ladies but guys can give ideas, too.
poor college student, fun / cute ways to talk to a girl outside of class other than anything that cost?

I'm thinking of walking around campus and sitting near the lake with her the first day I do ask her out, I don't know through if there better options to take.

>>16474656
Fly a kite with her.

>>16474632
>random white knight who hasn't been following the conversation appears
No fuckwitt that was her, learn to 4chan.

When do guys stop being a virgin? Is it the moment a penis is inserted or after you nut? What if you put it in but can't nut?

>>16474632
>>16474629
This actually makes sense now. Didn't read all the continuation of it in this thead and everyone replying to him. Guess he said to someone else previously he was on an infertility site.
My first post was >>16474474

>>16474667
After you put it in and wiggle it around.

>>16474667
I guess moment penis is inserted. Women don't always come from sex, it doesn't make them still virgins. And if you try to be overly specific about cumming or not as making you a virgin.. from the male perspective if only cumming is what makes you not a virgin, does that have to be without a condom?
Would a guy having sex for 30min without a condom and not cumming be a virgin and a guy who lasted 30 seconds with one be considered devirginized?

>>16474663
But anon I've replied to you twice in this thread before this post. Both times calling you an idiot. And I still stand by my words so you can make it three now. It was stupid to just straight up break up with her without even trying to talk about it first. The end result would've been the same most likely but how you handled it was bad.

And since everyone, except trip and namefags, is anon you can't even tell if you're having a conversation with the same person you started with or if someone else started replying to you halfway through the conversation. It's you who needs to learn to 4chan.

>>16474656
Does the lake have ducks? Feed the ducks.
Is there some lovely quiet special secret spot you know of? Take a picnic and show it to her.
Find out if there is anything going on, art shows, student movie screenings, photography exhibitions etc put on by the students, this is usually free, and take her to it.
Just go for a walk and a sit down but bring a thermos of coffee/tea/hot chocolate to share, or a bottle of wine.
If there is any kind of free parade, party, market, food stalls, fair, etc in the area take her to wander round that and get some super cheap street food together and watch the world go by.
If there is a free sports game/event going on take her to some vantage point to watch that (add in picnic/hot chocolate/wine to any of these events).
Is she can ride a bike go for a bike ride together.
If there is some lovely quirky bookshop take her for a browse of that. Wander round town together window-shopping.

>>16474667
If you're sitting on the 'borderline', you might as well be a virgin.

>>16474698
>The end result would've been the same
>white knighting for his ex
He's a fucking idiot but you're no better.

So a guy I've liked for a long time got my number today.
When friends or family text me I reply as soon as I get the message, but every other girl I know waits for a bit after a guy texts her. I know some guys do this too not to seem desperate.

However, I feel like there's been enough "playing" and acting hard to get already between this guy and I so can I just text him immediately after he texts me or should I wait like my friends advise me to?

I don't want to play games, I like this guy a lot and I know he likes me too so I don't want to piss him off by not responding immediately, but I also don't want to seem desperate.

>>16474247
It's a step cousin so you're not related by blood, right? Then anything sexual or romantic is not wrong. How does your family feel about it?

From what you described it seems like she likes you.
You know how people can tell when others like each other but can't tell when their crush likes them? Sounds like that if your family has noticed.

>Would handholding/sleeping in the same bed be normal closeness??
I have a female cousin (I'm a girl too) and we sleep in the same bed when we visit our grandparents just because there's a lack of space and it's normal because we're related and we're both girls. But I wouldn't do that with my male cousin. Handholding? Definitely not.
So yeah, it's very likely that she has feelings.

>>16474698
Hey we should totally fight each other here too. Obviously it's 100% your fault that he thinks I directly insulted him if you posted the "idiot" comments. Why must I suffer for your sins???? You've been so mean to me in the very limited time we've been indirectly introduced to each other.

>>16474721
How am I white knighting for his ex? It's the mature approach to talk things through with your so. Maybe she didn't want kids or was infertile but too afraid to tell op because he already had baby names picked and all that.

I'm not saying his chances of staying with her would've been good but it would've been much better to talk it through and leave the decision of breaking up with her. That is if the op wasn't just looking for an excuse to break up and used this as his excuse. Though it doesn't seem like that's the case based on his posts.

>>16474771
>I don't want to play games
Well there's your answer. Don't play games if you don't want to.

I'd just think you weren't interested and lose interest in you if you held off replying to my messages intentionally. I understand not waiting by your phone to respond as soon as someone texts you but it's kinda hard to have any type of conversation when the other person is waiting x amount of time before replying just to not seem desperate.

>>16474800
Definitely. Come at me senpai

ladies:

19m, very handsome, fairly charming.
Going to school for associate of arts (not 100% sure where I'll go with it), have job at pet store, live at home although pay all of my own bills / expenses, and also have rusty truck (runs nice as shit though)

Given the fact that I have lots of talents / hobbies / interests, would you consider this boyfriend material / date-able?

The girls in my area seem to have a standard for guys who are very well established within society (nice cars, homes, high paying jobs, etc), but I refuse to believe that all chicks are like this.

I've been going on more and more dates and they work out well most of the time but there really isn't much spark, ya dig?

>>16474771
I don't know full details, but if he's nice and either:
you were friends before starting dating
or he's never had a girlfriend before;
you are pretty much in the clear and don't really need to be playing phone waiting games. Also the guys that subconsciously do like girls who play hard to get, prefer short nonchalant responses (avoid overusing emoticons or too many exclamation marks) . Also playing it cool works better face to face than via texts.

>>16474828
and if you do play it cool, pay close attention to how much attention he is focusing on you. Try to be a little more dere whenever he seems to get disinterested and don't try to make him jealous if you are going to play it cool because that's just cruel and usually backfires.

>>16474811

> refuse to believe in observable facts. Going to art school.

Not in any way related. You keep at it slugger. there's someone out there for you.

>>16473948
Women

Which is objectively worse- a guy that dresses poorly& is unkempt or a guy that doesn't know how to fight

>>16474835
How would they know you cannot fight? Also a short self defence course or boxing lessons for 2 weeks should fix the latter and bring it up to above average.

>>16474831
What observable facts are you mentioning?

Not going to art school; working toward associate of arts which can lead in many directions.. Not just art lol


Can't tell if sarcasm or not

>>16474807
>>>16474800 (You)
>Definitely. Come at me senpai
I'm drinking by this point but I appreciate your response. So I love you too.

>>16474828
>>16474830
He is really nice, and we weren't exactly friends but we always said hi and bye and made small talk when we saw each other. And there's always been that sexual tension, and an elephant in the room when we talk.
Finally we exchanged numbers so I don't want to carry on this tension as it's gone on long enough, a damn year.

Thanks for the advice :)

>>16474835
A guy that dresses poorly and is unkempt, of course. The majority of people don't know how to fight. Not everyone takes martial arts or self defense courses.

>>16474846
<3

>>16474835
I guess a guy that dresses poorly can be fixed up and consulted by yours truly. But I think everyone needs to know how to fight/stand their ground.

>>16474776
Well the one family member that said anything (she's very perceptive so I don't know if she is alone in figuring it out) mentioned that she thought it was ok. Granted it was one family member so she doesn't speak for everyone.

And perhaps so. But what bugs me the most is why she doesn't say anything about it? Are the same worries about being ok in her head? I don't even know how she chooses her partners; her last boyfriend she was together with for 5 years or so, and they just broke up this year. I don't even know if she would be willing to date.

Thank you, however.

I just broke up with my girlfriend

I'm not hurting emotionally as much as I thought I would, but my head just feel really blank right now and I'm not sure how to get out of it.

Tips?

>>16474903
You won't get out of it for a while. I recommend you to occupy yourself with work et al. Eventually you'll just stop thinking about it.

>>16474894
It should be okay since you're not related, but obviously she may have some worries because you are "family" now.

How long ago did they break up? There's a chance she may be warming up to you and holding your hand etc to feel that closeness with someone again. Maybe she thinks that because you're family, she can use the excuse of "oh I just wanted comfort from family/it's normal for step-cousins, etc" to face your rejection, if you do reject her.

I don't know though, I'm just giving suggestions.

Best place to find a rebound relationship/fling?

Just got dumped

>>16474933
Oh it's been about... 4-5 months or so? We all talked during a vacation together (where family noticed) and she was talking about how to handle being alone. It was not a one on one conversation. But why feel closeness like this? Am I welcoming it by not denying it? I can't help how I feel. She would do some of the hand holding even while going out with him (granted it was in the last year of that relationship) so that's why it's a bit complex. I don't like the fact that I can't get a read on any of this.

Again, thanks for the suggestions.

>>16474947
tinder

>>16474965
>Am I welcoming it by not denying it?
No, but not denying it is also a sign.

> She would do some of the hand holding even while going out with him (granted it was in the last year of that relationship)
That's a bit weird. Was their relationship going okay at that point or was it all basically over?
Girls can get feelings for other guys while still in a relationship, especially if they're in a bad relationship.
She probably feels like she can talk to you because you're a guy and can make her feel protected and cared for like a girl can't (esp if she was lacking that from her boyfriend), and also because you're family.

Is there any flirting or sexual tension between you two?

do people like a fuckton of stuff on facebook (like bands, events, etc) specifically for the purpose of increasing their matches on tinder?

>>16475126
I think people want to make themselves appear well-rounded to whoever may be judging them

How does everyone view flirting with no end goal? Picking and choosing people for Snapchat conversations with the sole intention of flirting for fun, attention and the ego boost? Harmless narcissism or gateway slut behaviour?

>>16475261
google: define flirt

flirt
flərt/Submit
verb
1.
behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.

>for amusement rather than with serious intentions

to females

Just how stable do you expect your SO to be? Be realistic please, I'm not asking about dream scenarios.

>>16475270
I'm not sure why you repeated the definition back at me. I'd already established it wasn't with any serious intentions. I was asking if it can lead to worse behaviour or if it is indicative of a certain personality type that isn't conducive to long-term monogamy.

>>16475291
I'm not sure but I do know that he doesn't need to be rich.

>>16474180
Would you find it weird if you found a guy your age and he's a virgin as well?

>>16475291
At my age (early/mid 20s); I'd hope that he has carried a job past the probation period, knows how to pay a bill, has a car, can clean up after himself in a timely manner, is not destroying his body with drugs or alcohol (occasional weed use and drinking is okay if it does not effect daily life).


Living with parents is okay to me. A lot of people are living with their parents at older ages now. Personally, I was kicked out at 18 and left to figure it out on my own, but I know not everyone is the same.

>>16475340
Not really. I'd only start to find it weird at around age 22.

>>16475348
eh thats not too demanding, I'd ever say your standards are a bit below the average/what I expected to hear

>>16475368
I think my standards are I guess "low." I'm pretty laid back with expectations.

But if my bf was completely unwilling to become more independent than this (what I listed was a baseline), then that would be a problem.

so I got to third base today
or so I thought, I was fingering her butthole
she told me to wash my hands but I didn't mind it
why are girls so worried about their bodies all the time?

>>16475388
Well, you had shit particles on your hands. You can get Hep C from anal play. She was lookin' out.

Asked her out, we fixed something casual for the weekend.

Shall I refrain from texting her until the day of the date?

>>16475479
Maybe the silence is to be taken as a "yes"?

Maybe I don't lurk enough on this board but I'll ask. What's with this Branden thing?

>>16475563
Some fag keeps coming into these threads, posting a picture of his face and crying about being ugly in the hopes of getting "No babe ur totes bootiful!" responses.

>talking with girl on skype for first time
>we meld really well, joke a bit, get along pretty well
>later in the conversation
>she asks me why I don't have a girlfriend
>she asks me if I'm a virgin
>begins to make a bunch of subtle sexual innuendo comments and jokes, like asking if milk dripping out of your mouth looks like cum dripping out

what does it mean

>>16475746
she wants you to stick your pee pee in her foo foo

how can you not see this

>>16475760
> foo foo
>anal for the first date

I like this girl. Go for it then stick it in her vjaja.

>>16475778
>foo foo
>anus

Try again

>>16475060
I would say it was over but I don't know for sure. I know that at that point they were barely having sex, she told me so.

No flirting per se. Her banter is very sexual anyway so it's rarer for her /not/ to be like that. With me it's more of a different type of conversation. As for sexual tension, I do think so but it's subtle and not outright "brushing up against my cock" tension.

>>16475746
>begins to make a bunch of subtle sexual innuendo comments and jokes, like asking if milk dripping out of your mouth looks like cum dripping out
>subtle

Lol what the fuck kind of question is that

This is likely to be the final time I ask this, so here's your last chance to add your input

Women (who didn't answer this previously): what do you do in your free time? I'm talking about recreation, R&R, etc.; anything outside of your school/work/other responsibilities.

>>16474649
>but when I start working, I won't let myself be pushed through by people.
Does she not understand how networking works? Should you avoid a job just because you have connections with it? Why is she putting down the advancements in your life?
She sounds bitter.

But you're also asking us to analyze two sentences she said. Talk to her about it. Tell her it makes you feel bad that she's acting like you don't deserve this job due to the networking.

>>16474771
Waiting to text back because it may come across as "desperate" is so immature. Just text him back already :)

>>16474811
Yupyup nice bf material

>>16474903
You've dissociated, it's a defense mechanism

>>16476125
I enjoy roleplay (fantasy, mostly)
I write sci-Fi sometimes, for myself
Reading is nice
Rock climbing
Volunteer at a bunny rescue (truly enjoy spending time with the bunnies)
Elite: Dangerous
Really intomathematics

>>16476260
Nice, fresh answers. Thanks

>>16476270
MEAT IS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS

>>16476125
I draw. I'm trying to make it professionally, but for now, it's just a seriously, dedicated hobby.

I play video games (league, fallout, and skyrim have probably been my biggest time commitments).

I love setting aside time to do drugs recreationally. Usually this would entail just chilling out and listening to music, but I plan weeks ahead with the food and setting.

I go to shows. This probably falls under the umbrella of recreational drug use.

And, I play board games often with my circle of friends. For a while, I wanted to start a collection, but it's kinda expensive to maintain. I just got Pathfinder recently, so role-playing might be a thing in the future as well.

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Question for the ladies:

Does a guy being funny make him more attractive, or does him being attractive make you laugh at his jokes more? Or is it both?

Slightly related question:

Is there ever a danger that a guy might make you laugh too much or too hard and that he just becomes that funny guy or that clown to you?

>>16476351
The former. If he's *too* funny, he might come across as immature and lacking the ability to act appropriately in different situations

>>16476316
No one mentioned drugs yet. Thanks.

This if for guys who can't get women and tell themselves that women are inferior, call them whores etc.: does this actually make you feel any better?

>>16476454
*this is for

>>16476351
Guys that I find genuinely funny instantly become much more attractive to me, but that's a trait I'm attracted to. It's not the same for all people.

To girls, would you ever say yes to being propositioned sex, kissing, ect, by a stranger pretty much in public? What would they have to say or do to get you to say yes?

>>16476463
Absolutely not.

>>16476463
Fuck no.

>>16475261
I think it's shows what kind of person they are, and I'd judge that someone who doesn't flirt would make a better partner.

>>16474180
Red flag for me, but it's a personal thing.

>>16476463
Big ol nope

>>16474771
>acting hard to get
Are you 16?
Grow up already.

>>16476351
Being funny is extremely attractive. Trying to be funny is unattractive.

Girls, would you go on 4 "dates" with a guy, including activities like dinner and the movies, if you weren't attracted to him romantically at all?

This girl always seems so happy every time I spend time with her IRL, but whenever we communicate though messages she's insanely cold. Like, she waits at least like a day before replying to messages and they're always short replies with that "fuck off" vibe. Yet, she keeps agreeing to go out and when I spend time with her in person she's very friendly. I really don't get it. Getting some mixed messages here.

>>16476351 I will say that both can apply, but the only way someone can become the clown to a girl is if she wasn't attracted to him in the first place. You probably can't joke your way into someone's pants without a willingness for that to happen on their part.
>>16476517
Also, this.

In >>16476463, the premise of the post contradicts the end goal by asking "what buttons can I push socially to get stranger sex?" when the answer is that women will be put off by any apparent search for the buttons in question. However, this is negated by things like hookup apps. Random women will fuck you if it's already part of the plan.

You'll also notice that /cgl/'s archive has many "con sex stories" threads. Being reasonably attractive and able to bond with strangers over fictional media (and use parts of their brain other than the libido, obviously) has gotten people laid in the past, although I don't recommend this if you're not actually into any nerd shit.

Any stories of past experience that have happen on tinder?

>>16476548
Try taking her somewhere that doesn't cost money and see if she still wants to go.

>>16474771
I don't know any boy that actually likes this shit. If you like him, act like it. There's nothing more attractive than someone who likes you. There's nothing less attractive than someone trying to manipulate your emotions by purposefully frustrating you. Why do girls even do this?

>>16476548
It makes it hard to answer a question when you put a key word in "quotes." I wouldn't flirt with a guy or let him keep taking me on obviously romantic outings if I weren't attracted to him. I'd cut the first date short and decline any others.

But if what you think is a "date" is just us hanging out and I enjoy the stuff we do, I'll keep doing it. How am I supposed to know what your intentions are unless they're obvious? It also doesn't mean I want to be BFFs with you or talk all the time. You've got something fun going on and want to hang out? Great. I'll join you and be a nice person about it because I'm not a giant asshole.

>>16476548
Are you sure they were dates?

>>16476548
This has happened to me with reversed genders! If it bothers you, ask if she dislikes texting next time you see her. Be chill about it. No fingers pointed, and she'll tell you what she thinks.

>>16476570
No, not by western standards. In the country I'm living in currently people just refer to any time a girl and a guy hang out alone as a date. Whether or not she only views me as a friend or not, I have no idea. Asian people are kinda timid about dating so the girls are kinda hard to read. That said, I drop complements, offer to pay for her meals and invite her to well known dating spots, so I feel like my intentions should be pretty clear.

Long Post Incoming:
So I met this girl through a mutual friend get together, got her number went on a few dates and they were fantastic. She's a great person all round and I honestly felt some connection. The kicker is though, she just got out of a fucked up relationship the month before (abusive and controlling S.O.), the day of our last date was supposed to happen she declined because she said she had a stressful day dealing w/ her EX's bs. The next day a friend of mine saw her with another friend at a restraunt and assumed it was a date. I don't know if it was or it was just a friend, but ye.. The last date we had was about a month ago, we still talk briefly and see each other occasionaly, how should I go about trying to ask her out again without seeming desperate? I really enjoyed her company and Idk if I should go for it or not or how to go about it? please anyhelp I'll love you for it

where do i learn to finger a girl? i don't know much else besides just violently shaking my fingers lol

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18, I have nerd hobbies that consist of TTRPG, some vidya, some anime, cartoons, some comics, and one normal "passion" for art. I can never meet girls, they all want to go out and partly and do that stupid shit.

>>16477089
Good for you, women are all whores, amirite?

>>16477096
>>16477096
Not really, I just can't meet any that I can talk to. I'm just 2weird i guess to want to do the normal young person stuff like that.

>>16477096
urite urite

What does it mean if some girl starts like, hugging you, kissing you on the cheek and talking to you mean? Theres this girl at the mall i work at and shes been doing this for the last couple of months.

Idk if shes being friendly or what. Shes cute but kinda has alot of redflags

>>16477089
Are you dumb? What do you think parties are for? Loud music and poisoning yourself? Nah man, it's just a place for girls to enjoy the company of boys and boys to enjoy the company of girls in a easy relaxed setting

>>16477136
Well I'm your typical nerd, the only party I've been to is the one I DM at my local comic shop once a week.
Also, yeah I thought parties were for loud music I don't like and drugs and alcohol.
When it comes to the environments of those places I know I won't be able to relate to anyone. I'm not really hip with the kids these days so I don't know what hash tag or whatever is trending right now .

>>16477134
How the fuck are we supposed to know?

>>16477109
That's nice. Do you actually have a question?

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>>16475563
For over a year a guy kept posting selfies fishing for compliments, and wouldnt fuck off. I'm of the opinion after a while trolls just saved his pictures and kept it going.

>>16477089
Yeah, most people are extroverted and like parties. Most guys are like this too. If you want to meet women with certain niche interests, go where they're relevant. I wouldn't expect to find a girl who hates animoo at a convention for it.

>>16476260
>Elite: Dangerous
Wide as an ocean but shallow as a puddle

>>16477147
You relate to them because you are a fucking human beings with problems and desires. Everyone has different wants and needs.

You are fucking stupid if you care about all that shit

>>16477156
Yeah, how the hell do I meet girls? I can't find any I can relate to.

>>16477162
Your question is answered in the OP. Stop wasting everyone's time

>>16477089
Based on the picture alone and the fact you hate social gatherings I can tell you're a huge sperglord faggot.

I'm gonna let you in on a mind blowing secret. Nobody gives a fuck what your hobbies are. For some reason young nerd virgins think a girl they can play video games with is the epitome of potential mates, but believe me, your ability to hold a conversation with each other is much more important than a shared liking of some stupid game you kill time by playing.

If you act anti social and don't provide any desirable traits, why would you expect any girl to like you?

>>16477156
Idk im asking its a thing friendly people do

>>16477158
I can never find girls at the places I go. >>16477161
And despite this being the case, I can't really hold a conversation with an average person, it just sputters into boring small talk about nothing
>>16477168
I'm not a SPERGLORD , I have gotten gfs and got girls numbers before, it's just the girls I like generally don't want to talk, fizzling small talk. What would you talk to someone about when you have nothing in common?

>>16477180
Yes, it is. We don't know what it means, we're not in her head

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>>16477184
>I can never find girls at the places I go
Then go to new places

There arent women at my engineering club. So I don't search for them there. Crazy stuff.

>>16477184
How do you even end up talking to someone who you have nothing in common with. If they're at work with you you have the same job, if they share a class with you they're studying the same subjects, if they're at the same party as you they know the same people, hell - if they're even the same age as you have a lot to talk about just based on that alone (what uni, what high school, part time work, what movies/music they like, what degree, what job do they want etc).

>>16477184
If you don't want to talk you won't have anything to talk about(this goes both ways).

And you can literally talk about anything.

>>16477026
Google is your friend. Try different search terms. Also remember that with fingering it's more about stimulating the clit than waving your finger(s) around in the actual vagina. Combine different moves and remember that different women like different things so you should observe how she reacts to different things you try and wing it. If she's dry down there make sure your finger is lubricated (spit is fine) because dry rubbing hurts

>>16477198
Well no where i want to go had women? So how do i get into one of those young, hip people parties?
>>16477210
It always evolved into a discussion about nothing . Boring and pointless, I don't want another relationship with a girl who I barely have anything in common with.
>>16477216
Above /\

>>16477221
Most people don't have this problem. Have you ever thought the problem wasn't with the girls you're talking to, but instead with you?

>>16477234
Well shit, how do I become normal?

>>16477221
>So how do i get into one of those young, hip people parties?
I go to places based around my interests. Then I meet women with my interests there sometimes. Sometimes we click.

>>16477241
Well I don't meet many women where I go and when I do we never click.

>>16477221
You have friends and they invite you to parties whenever it's their birthday, or some public holiday, or sometimes they just decide to throw one. Have you really never been to a party before?

>>16477250
>we never click.
It's probably just the jewish agenda keeping you down

Rebel young man

>>16476463
Just like that, no.

A person who I've "just" met but have talked with and "gotten to know" for a good while, am extremely attracted to and feel a rare connection with, possibly, depending on how they ask and how exceptionally attracted I am to them. Hasn't happened but I suppose it could if the stars would align. Mentioning sex etc or asking for it directly is a massive turnoff, the whole thing should feel like something tht "naturally happens". A feeling of connection or kind of camaraderie is important

>>16477254
Not really, didn't get any real friends until High school, and they never really ever do anything on their b-day. Also we don't go out and do mich.
>>16477259
Thanks for the snarky remark, I guess I'm fucked then.

>>16477250
That's because the women who are heavily into video games, anime, tabletop games etc are very frequently crazy, horrible people.

>>16477259
Look you have this weird idealization of what a relationship is. Chances are your family situation was fucked and all your relationship notions come from anime/tv/games/movies. It's fucking bullshit.

Having things in common with a girl doesn't mean having them now, it can mean building up to it together

>>16477270
>I guess I'm fucked then.
Only if you give up. Attack the jew, take back your waifu.

>>16477274
So what women should i go after, how do I know if I'm in her league ?
>>16477282
Nah, I've been the social I am my entire life, thanks anyway dough

>>16473948

So, I was a bit confused recently. Here it goes: I like my gen ed lit class. I like the material. I like the discussion, and I participate often.

There is a foreign student in our class from Mexico. She sits pretty close to me. I don't talk to her much, but she's there. One day, I decided to eat lunch in the university food court because I didn't bring my lunch.

I spend most of my time alone, and I like it that way. I'm alone but not lonely. So of course, I sit by myself at a counter in the cafeteria rather than sitting next to colleagues. Well, that foreign exchange student sits next to me at lunch. Ok, I'm willing to talk a bit.

She proceeds to tell me that I'm the smartest man in the class, and I say something like, "How is that possible in a class that is about sharing our own interpretations of the text." I don't think she gave a shit what I said, and continued to say that she finds the smartest men sexy.

Now I know most of you would probably want to be in this situation. But, I can't describe the discomfort I felt at that statement. Basically, I looked at my watch and said I had to go. It was the most disgusting feeling. This woman was attractive too, beautiful face, and an ass that could make an onion cry. I dunno it just felt like a violation of my personal space. I can't really describe it.

I don't really want to mend relations with this person necessarily, but I feel as if I should apologize. Ladies, how do I apologize for that? I realize however weird her approach may have been, they were still putting themselves on the line and I was a total knob about it.

>>16477277
So what, go up to random women and hope we can hit it off? I did that on the past and it didn't work out for me.

>>16477134
You know what even worst when she tell your coworker to tell you that she love you. Not once but twice.

>>16477238
Get a gf.

Why do girls always post more on social media after break up?

>>16477376
>you need to be normal to get a gf
> get a gf to be normal

>>16477381
Social support, reaching out to friends she may have left behind during a relationship.

>>16477384
Now you know.

>>16477392
So is there any escape from this purgatory, or is suicide the only option ?

>>16474203
It's just for the memories, obviously. Plus maybe she likes the way she looks in the picture.

>>16477400
Try to concentrate on something non sexual, like your education or a hobby. As you you get good at something, girls will start to like you. That's how you become normal.

>>16477425
1. I don't care about getting laid, I just want to not have >tfw .no gf feels
2. That's all I do already

>>16477432
Do you have good friendships? Do you feel you get out socially enough, in your own opinion?

Girls (fuck it, even guys):

Does it mean anything when you're conversing with someone and they get really fucking close to you? I've gone to ask my professor things during class multiple times and she does it every time. I'm not that tall and she's pretty short so I'm pretty sure all she can see is up my nose and it makes me uncomfortable because she's a babe. What's the point though? She wouldn't appear as small or have to look up if she just backed a few steps away?

I know it means nothing, I'm just curious on the subject of closeness while talking.

>>16477439
1 I have a couple of good friends
2 besides school and my weekly dnd sessions I don't have a social life, so no I guess?

Do they usually wear glasses

>>16477441
I think that's what you need. Find a few more diverse hangouts and frequent them. Make friends with people in other environments. It's both good practice and a source of intimacy you don't need to be in an exclusive relationship to get. You'll be happier and better at socializing and that will help you get a girlfriend.

>>16477459
meant for
>>16477440

>>16477461
Well there's nothing else that interests me, how do I force myself to try new things?

>>16477464
>>16477464
Oh fucking kek I am such an idiot, she wears big ass glasses during class. I've gone to see her at her office not wearing them.

Must be the shit vision.

>>16477466
Nothing!? Seriously? There has to be something you've never seen or done or something you want to accomplish. Something you love or think you might want try.

Do you feel depressed? If so, talk to someone like a therapist.

Women, what do you consider a manchild and why?

>>16477488
A man who is stagnant, who has no dreams for a better future for himself. Possibly a guy who can't be trusted to take on responsibilities.

>>16477485
Besides art , not really
I mean, ill get fleeting desires to try programming or something but 1 they are fleeting, I'm lucky if the desire last a day, and 2 I wouldn't be very good at them since I have no talent in anything .

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This girl stopped dating me when I moved for doctor school, she was a year below me so she has another year to graduate. Tried to contact her in the past few months but she was only responsive if she got to bitch about something, never was a good texter. Called her a couple of months ago to ask her if she had any second thoughts but she said she didn't think it was a good idea.
Grad school application deadlines are coming up, would it be inappropriate for me to ask her if she's applying to my school or schools near me? I'm afraid of sounding pathetic after all these failed attempts at contact.

>>16477470
glad it was that simple, it reminded me of Blue Blazes

>>16477488
A guy who can't look after himself, basically, coupled with a level of immaturity that is above average for his age. Needs someone else to hold his hand and do things, and may need to be nagged to do basic shit like take a shower. If I'm having to act like your mother and your girlfriend, then you're a manchild.

Girls

I dont know exactly how to ask her out. I mean, if she went to a different uni then it would be no biggie but the fact that she is on campus with me brings whole new level of fear to it.

>If I fuck up I see her every day and am constantly reminded of my failure
>If I talk to her too much she might only see me as a friend

What are some ways to ask someone out? We have a mini convo at the end of class but other than that we dont talk. I also noticed that she doesn't really have any friends. I mean there are people that she talks to but other than that, she doesn't really hang out with anyone.

>>16477504
How many times have you contacted her?
If its more than 5 then just move on

Ask her friends if she still talks about you
If not then move on

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Do yo prefer erect or non erect dicks?

>>16477503
I think you would benefit from talking to a counselor or therapist. Talk to someone at your school if you can. Your lack of commitment to these other things sounds like a confidence issue.

You shouldn't feel like you have no talents. Talents develop over time; you don't start with them. You're a talented walker and you started out completely incapable, for example. You can become good at anything if you do it often enough.

Programming is amazing and extremely useful and cool. Imagine how knowing more about programming could make you a better artist... Try Kahn Academy... it's got free, structured courses and lets you make real programs.

>>16477522
Both. But erect dicks give me a stronger sexual reaction.

>>16477535
how much stronger?

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>>16477521
>mfw 4

>>16477543
A lot, I guess.

>>16477528
The thing is , I would pick it up and drop it after, like , a day. I rather just draw so day, being a good artist is the only real goal I have.
Honestly, if I was told i would be the modern day Van Gough I would be content with that. Also , nothing bad bad happened to me, so saying I'm depressed is unwarranted.

>>16477552
elaborate

>>16476125
I draw and write fiction, have been going to a writing class and everything. I also like to read all kinds of things and go to art exhibitions, see movies (who doesn't do that though) and stuff like that. Sometimes I make clothes for myself but that's rarer these days since the sewing machine is at my parent's house.

I should start an excercise-related hobby, but haven't figured out what'd be good.

>>16477559
It doesn't matter if nothing "bad" happened to you. Depression doesn't only affect people who have been traumatized. Sometimes it's caused by long term, relatively low-level stress in people with a genetic vulnerability.

Do you feel dissatisfied with your life? Bored?

>>16477564
Um. It's the shape, maybe? They're all flushed and warm and just look... sexy, I guess? There's nothing wrong with a flaccid cock, but it's not as attention-grabbing.

>>16477594
Whenever I come on here, I realize how much of a loser I am. I know I'm never going to be anything but the little I am. I would to kill myself, but I told a close friend I wouldn't, so unless he leaves me that's not happening .
I guess I'm dis-satisfied, I just know its due to me being the god awful person I am.
I have been thinking of taking alcohol to feel better, but I don't know where to get a steady supply .

>>16476125
Reading, singing/listening to music, going out dancing with friends, just started learning to paint with watercolours. I love boardgames (like Catan, Arkham Horror, and Risk) and I'm playing Fallout all the time now.

>>16476463
No. Not by a stranger in public. By a stranger, yes. In public from someone I know, yes. But not both together. It's just too dangerous/uncomfortable.

>>16477614
Please, seek help anon. Lots of people feel the way you feel. 4chan can make you feel worse because there's a lot of isolating things here. Please don't let these perfectly normal feelings keep you from being happy. You need to get some support to tackle this. The world can be much brighter. Isn't that worth a try at least?

http://www.depressedtest.com/

>>16473948

Girls, how much a month is reasonable to spend on doing things, going out to eat, etc?

>>16477604
i meant, elaborate on the difference between "a lot" and "not a lot"

>>16477655
$100

>>16477658
the line is at 30 standard units.

>>16477658
How?

flaccid: 6/10
erect: 10/10

>>16477665
Dude's a shower.

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>>16477638
Well if this test is to be believed, I might want to see a doctor. The likely-hood of me actually going through with it is slim due to my situation.
Thanks dough, anon, at least you made me feel a bit better .

>>16477638
>High
>Moderate
>High-Moderate
>Very High
>Very High
Brb suicide I guess

>>16477668
If you're under 25, it's even less likely to be accurate. But if you suspect bipolar, definitely get some help. My mom killed herself after years of cycling between mild depression and delusional religious highs.

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>>16477638
Does this mean I'm a normie now

Femanons

Im 27 and the intern likes to touch my shoulder, leg, etc. Were both single and I think she has a thing for me, but Im not interested in pursuing her.

Ive been indifferent about her touching. I figure shell stop. Should I change this?

>>16477687
I don't think I'm bi-polar, but I do and still have the urge to kill myself.
This conversation changed slot, I think ill end it here .

>>16477713
No. You don't need a test to tell you whether you're happy or not. It's just a tool.

>>16477714
Why would you? Unless it makes you uncomfortable. Just keep doing what you're doing.