>>17223590
>tfw nobody to text you casually about their trivial thoughts at night

I'm sorry to write an update in a rush of messages and didn't write again, even though I saw you almost straight after that. I can't bear to be apart and I miss you like crazy, but didn't want to turn you off. I wish to be lovers; perhaps I was too forward, and have no chance of us getting together anymore. I'd be content to be near you, as each part of me yearns for your look, touch, smile, your soft words. When you're loving me, I'm in spiritual ecstasy. Our chemistry is the highest boost, feeling breathtakingly blissful as our eyes clash, lifting my soul from an underground of despair. I'm alive, free. I'm sorry if you feel I'm taking cheap shots, I've fallen for you completely. I'm not over you, and wish we were in bed now. I've never been happier than in your arms love, you give me strength and keep me going. I'd fall off the edge of the earth, for you to make me yours

WHY NOT JUST TELL THEM WHAT IS THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN

C.

We've encountered each other in a few of these types of threads. You're the first thing I think of when I wake up, the last thing I think of before I fall asleep, and honesly? You're the main component of both my dreams and waking thoughts. I know things between us are rough, but I fucking love you. If you feel anything even slightly similar for me, can we just work it out together?

I know there'll be a way we can be together and both be happy. Please don't push it away.

R.

M.
I know now that you definitely are not interested in me as more than a friend, as it's been over a week after I asked you out. And there's been no reply.

But I still want to remain your friend, but I am afraid that I ruined my chance with that by asking you out.

I want to message you as just a friend, but I'm afraid that will make it even more awkward between us.

I don't think that you would even want to deal with me after that. But, if you can just make like I never asked you out, that would be great.

D.

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H,
I can tell that your behavior towards my boyfriend has changed a bit. You seem more enthusiastic when we're all in skype together. Maybe it's just my insecurity talking, but I hope you don't have feelings for him. I couldn't take it. What if he noticed? What if it caused a shitstorm? What if he wanted you instead of me? This is the first mature relationship I've had and I will not have it being taken away. Please tone it down a little.
-A

C,

I love you. Now get your ass back here and fuck me.

C

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Dear pepere
Ii did it, I passed all my classes and graduated college ! You kept believing in me and telling me how proud you are of me and that you knew I could do it and I did. Iim going to keep on making you proud, I wont stop here. Im going to go places and help people and most of all I wont forget my family.
I dont want you to feel bad for missing it or for dying a few days before my birthday either. its ok. I even brought a that photo of you to graduation and kept you in my pocket so you could come anyway
I just miss you is all and hope youre happy. Goodbye until next time

L

You might be wondering why I'm not on Facebook. I blocked you. It isnt healthy for you to talk with an ex about your relationship problems.

T

Dear J1

You were a cool guy. I'm sorry for not talking as much, but I have nothing to talk about anymore, at least for now. Until I find something interesting to talk about with you, or I do something cool, it's going to be a while before we could talk again.

Signed, J2.

S
I can't get you off my mind. I want to talk to you. You're really here, like oh my god. It's been so long and my heart races whenever I see you. I've been smoking 10x more just so I can go outside and watch for you. I really want you to notice me, you're all I think about. Please let us be in contact again

-K

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I come to these threads a lot, hoping that one day ill see my initials at the top of one of these posts, that somebody will be writing to me. They're never here.

But nonetheless, I will say my piece -

Dear E,

I love you. It must come off as so insincere, so impersonal just reading it like this. I wish that there was some way I could really show you. And I suppose there was, as recently as last weekend. You said, gazing up at the stars, that you just wanted somebody to hold you, to kiss you... i was right there. I thought it was just the alcohol talking, but now, I can't help but feel that you were giving me a chance. I'm sorry if I missed that. But regardless, you haven't left my thoughts, and you haven't left my dreams - and I do not mean that figuratively, you ARE in my dreams every night.

You are the single most confusing person I have ever met. Within the course of a day, you sewed my heart strings, and yanked them to the ground. It truly is an endless suffering, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.

I love you. And i'm going to tell you one day. I swear.

I thought leaving our toxic relationship would make my life better, but everything is falling apart. I work six days a week and still can't manage to make enough money to get by. I feel so alone and no longer have no one to talk to. At least when we were together, I had someone to lay next to every night. I'm so unhappy.

I tried to tell him he would be alone. I tried to tell him what he already knew, what he had confided in me before, that no one was truly there for him. I tried to be there.

But there is only so much a person can take of laziness, excuses, outright lies and unwillingness to improve on oneself. Loving someone doesn't only mean you think they should never change. It means you want to see them sucessful, happy, not drowning in a pool of their own sadness, excuses and filth and crying about it until you call them out and offer to help them do better. Then they call you a control freak, a psycho, say you don't love them, what have you.

You were so damn miserable that you blew up all the balloons you could think of for your pity party when we met, yet when confronted the idea of being anything but a narcissistic, oversized, oversexed lying faggot is so insulting to the very core of your being that you ist jmplode.

I wish you would have just stayed away from me. You are a loser by choice, by all your very own definitions and bases, and that is nothing to take pride in.

life, thanks for being so fucked up.. no one wants me around. my grandma is dying of lung cancer and chemo is making her miserable. my mother is a heroin addict my sister is a heroin addict and my brother is a spice addict. i dont really have any friends except online ... my job is forcing me to work a second shift job i dont want to work and im in debt. just found out that my car is about ready to fall apart like literally, the bottom is about to rust out completely according to the mechanic. FUCK YOU LIFE!

O,
I will forever cherish what you and I had together. You made me feel so confident, desirable, capable, smart, funny, and all around wonderful. You gave me hope when I came so close to ending it all. I wish we could experience it again. I wish we could spend all night fucking like animals again. I wish we could stay up to the wee hours talking about our insecurities again. I wish we could find a point where we trusted each other. Part of me would give It all away just to be with you and I know that's stupid. I know you couldn't do that. I know you couldn't leave it behind for me. I'm too young and I'm just not who you need to be with. But dammit if it doesn't pain me to hang around you and know it could never be.

I wish I had the courage to tell you how much I love you. As much as that would complicate things between you two.

M

R, your such an awesome and amazing person. do not ever give up!

L, you confuse the fuck out of me. yesterday you hated me today you love me more than anything? you know i love you but your so wishy washy i cant take it. im going threw a shit time and need stability

I am insane for feeling so oddly sure of my feelings for you. My heart aches to tell you "I love you." Logic tells me that it's infatuation because you cannot be in love with someone you're not close with. But something in me just knows that I love you so unconditionally. It came to me so naturally and I couldn't ignore something like this no matter how hard I try.

You left your mark on me. You would never know it, and I would never admit it to you. The phrases "kindred spirit" and "soulmate" sound too hackneyed to describe this. Whatever this is... well, I suppose it will be my secret.

I wonder if it were possible for me to have you... years and years from now if you're single. But that's a particularly wretched thought because I would honestly be sad if your current relationship fell apart. Still... I daydream and wonder as much as anyone hopelessly in love in this sort of way could. I think about you and I and science fiction. How many lifetimes will I live to find you again? How many of them will I have to chase you through? How many of them will I be able to know that you are mine and I am yours, and that my love isn't doomed by circumstance?

i fucked every girl I could but I didn't have the balls to even kiss you in every chance I had. but now that you (almost) have a boyfriend, I cant fucking stand you talkin about how much you like that guy, he doesn't even know what you want or what you like, like I do. it's time for a change of heart. i love you Lucy, my devilish girl.

Dear H

I don't know what I was thinking when I tried contacting you. I guess a part of me really misses you. But there's a part of me that wants nothing to do with you. You're such an insulting person. I know it was just one time- but still that was extremely rude. I would never say that to anyone I cared about. You act like your such a perfect person- do you know how horrible you would feel if I decided to be a bitch and fling insults like that at you?
Besides that, you get in contact with once a fucking year. I could see exactly what you want out of a man- you make it VERY obvious. And honestly there's nothing I can do to change that at this point in my life. I still need to finish my studies and juggling things like that just isn't feasible.

Why did you even bother finding me? Was it not clear that I was living with my gf at the time and working a minimum wage job? Yea- you know I guess I owe you one for getting me out of that shitlationship. But what was the point in ever contacting me if you want nothing to fucking do with me? Why do you need to make shit so difficult? And you actually weren't like this at first you just progressively became such a hard person to deal with- with your insults and obvious lust for expensive things.

If you want me- go ahead dearest, don't wait and text me. We can try this all over again.

>>17225714
I understand. You must understand though, that if we continue to make the same choices and decisions each time, nothing can ever change no matter how many lifetimes we are given.

Perhaps I feel the same, but much as you are uncertain of what would transpire with the realization of your secret, I cannot hold certainty that my feelings towards you could ever be reciprocated.

This may be the cause of our undoing. The fear that cripples us, the desire to not inconvenience, and the fear of judgement.

To think that in the end, it's our very pride that prevents us from being with one another... It seems silly when you think about it.

>>17225714
>I think about you and I and science fiction. How many lifetimes will I live to find you again? How many of them will I have to chase you through? How many of them will I be able to know that you are mine and I am yours, and that my love isn't doomed by circumstance?

I love this. Love is a bitch sometimes huh? I'm interested in your story

>>17225714
If we would have decided slightly differently throughout our lives we could probably be together now. I'm sure there are realities or lives if you want, which we spend together.
I don't think it's impossible for us to meet again some day. We don't live in completely different spheres. Since birth we live in two spheres slowly hovering around each other. Crossing paths every now and then.
Maybe we will meet again someday in this reality and by then we will have collected our own experiences and will be able to create a meaningful relationship of ourselves.

>>17225714
Can you tell your story please anon?

Before everything that happened I was genuinely a nice person, and I didn't think it was possible for one person to hate another as much as I do you now. You spent so much time trying to convince me that you loved me, and you knew I had bad trust issues from previous experiences with women, but you tricked me into trusting you anyway. I always knew that you'd leave me as soon as one of my friends showed interest in you, because I had such low self-esteem. That was up until the last month or so, where i completely signed my heart and soul over to you, and trusted you entirely.

As soon as you knew that I trusted you, you instantly left me for him, after telling me "you need to trust me with him we're just friends" for so long. It tore me apart at first, you telling me that you loved me only to tell me I was nothing to you a day later. As much as you'd love to hear that you manipulating some of my oldest friends into hating me after we broke up tore me apart, and made me depressed, it didn't.

My response to you telling me that i was nothing to you was a message which played on most of your insecurities, and your past. It made you have a break down, and brought back nightmares about being raped and made them worse than they ever were. I don't regret doing that to you at all. Even though you have him now, I know that your home life is garbage, you just got a whoreish tattoo, you're quickly approaching being an alcoholic, and it's not long until the big brother that fucked you as a kid gets you into cocaine just like he is. Your entire existence is dysfunctional, your family life, your social life, even your female body is more masculine than most of the men i know's bodies.

One day in the future I'm going to hear that you killed yourself because your eldest brother took you for himself once more, and I'm going to smile, because you wholeheartedly deserve it for what you did to me. And I hope you mention me in a note by name.

I hate that I still love you.

Honestly, no one had made me suffer as much as you have, and no one has ever driven me so mad.

I want to scream.

I want to scream and shout and smash my head against the wall. I want to smash it repeatedly until I no longer recall every sweet word you said to me.

And sometimes I just want to die, honestly. I want it all to go away. I want to go back to the day when I first met you and ignore you completely.

But more than anything, I just want you here with me.

I said it would be until mind breaks completely; that day passed long ago, unfortunately

Dear C
Its good that you got your mind back on track. I know I went off the deep end at the start of September and I am so sorry for that. I never wanted to cause you any problems, as I just wanted to see the happiest you after all that shit went down. Instead, I became a problem as my mind started to go and I am deeply sorry for that, but it seems you are doing fine so I am glad. Keep that joy. Just know that I have reasons for my actions. Goodbye old friend. Maybe in another life things will be different.
M.

Dear R,

I love you. I love you so much that I hope and pray that we could spend eternity together. I'm so happy that I met you.

Dear A,

I can't stop thinking about you or the time we spent together in the 4 months that we talked to each other. I can't help but wonder if things were different, if we didn't stop talking.

Dear R,

I love you.

Dear A,

I miss you.

C,

I know we had a roller coaster of a relationship, but I don't regret it. You were one of the most interesting girls I've ever talked to. It's a shame it couldn't have lasted longer.

A

Dear S
I'm so happy you said yes when I asked out out last week. You're my first and though it's probably not very likely, I pray that you're my only. I want to apologise beforehand for anything that I do that might make you feel uncomfortable, make you misunderstand or hurt you at all. I really do love you and I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.
All the little things you worry about: your test scores, your hair, your weight; don't. I love you for who you are and that won't ever change no matter what happens. I can't sleep without thinking about you. I might be naive but this is what I truly feel right now. There's so much I want to say to you and do with you, I love you.
Also go fucking study you told me to tell you to study so what the fuck you doing online?

Yours now and always, D

>>17225887
Initials?

>>17225887
I used to feel like that about someone, or maybe I still do.

Though I probably made them suffer more than they made me suffer.

P.

Dear L,
I really like you but am afraid I am already slipping your mind. You are the type of guy I would make myself better for, but I feel you deserve someone who is already the best, and you will surely have no trouble finding someone who is. I want to give you the world, because I can already call you a part of mine, but I am terrified of losing you before you are even mine.

M,
You were the biggest waste of a year ever. You emotionally abused the fuck out of me and i'm not sure if you think about me anymore but i know i broke your heart and in all honesty i am so happy i did. I hope that you one day can be mature about everything and no longer be a fuckwit. I'm glad i met you because through your destructive bullshit, i realised what i deserved.
K.

>>17225714
Initials?

>>17225753
Initials?

C
You were just like the others. You need to grow the fuck up and stop following all those dumb cunts you call "bros"
You're just getting yourself into more trouble and I'm not going to be there to support you anymore
E

Dear R,
I've spent so much time thinking about you and everything that could have been the past couple of years. I've tried so hard to look you up, maybe just so we could talk for a minute. I just want to know how you're doing. I'm not doing well, life was way better back then. I made my choice and now I have to live with it. I'm trapped in a loveless relationship and I know things would've been different if I chose you instead. life feels like it's done, just wish I could talk to you before it's really over.

M,
I want you to tell me everything. I can feel the hesitation and I can live with your hot and cold nature but the silence kills me. You know I won't abandon you no matter what you say. Whatever is on your mind. Whatever you are feeling. Please. I crave it.

>>17226224
Initials?

>>17226236
L

>>17226179
Email me then. Lets have tea.

>>17226263
What is it with you and tea.

>>17226276
I like tea? God.

>>17226370
God?
Don't look to him, that guy hates tea. He's more of a wine person.

Are you at least going to serve anything with the tea? Like, I don't know... Bread, or cookies, or biscuits, or something?

If we're going tea, we're going full tea.

>>17226402
Some people just like tea, chill out.

>>17226436
Chill out? What, only to be served hot tea?
I don't understand you.

I think we need to take a break.

Z,

I miss you. I remember talking for hours with you.

But I also remember that it was kind of.. me that abandoned you and not the other way around.

I valued your friendship, I really did. It's just that i'm a shitty friend to begin with.

C

S
Please talk to me

M

I miss you so much but keeping in touch would be too painful for me.
And for you.
So sad our relationship doesn't work.
And hurt by your last text.

Keep it up

Z,
I used to dream every night about us reconnecting and holding Hands while hanging out with our friends again. Then I found out you were with her 3 days after we broke up. Ever since, I've always wonder how? How do you tell someone you love them and that you still wanna be friends, that in the future you hope maybe we can see where things go that you will miss me. Yeah you miss me. You jumped right with her for comfort and convenience. You no longer talk to your friends, the friends you've had since childhood. Ive heard you're rarely at home now. It's frightning to see how someone changes. But I hope, I really do that you come to your senses and eventually find your path. Ever since I found about her and you, every night I dream about you and I talking and then she shows up and takes you away. I don't mind though I've decided to move on. I've felt some progress too, but today I dreamt we were lying on your bed like we used to talking about us and I woke up. I'm afraid I'm relapsing but I have to be strong and strictly not allow myself to know anything about you. I really do miss you, I look at our memories from these past years and I'm still in disbelief that you are not the one I will spend my life with, I was certain it would be you. I still care about you and probably will in the future as a human being,so if you ever need me know your friends and I will always be here for you, I no longer as your girlfriend but to a friend I will always lend a hand, but my devotion, priority , love and 100% will to that person who comes into my life next. I wish you the best Z and its time for us to let go.

I love you so much, but I'm so frustrated

You're overweight and after dating me for two years you've gained like 40 lbs and that isn't ok. I've stayed the same. I think you will only lose weight if we break up, because comments from me/cooking obviously aren't helping. I always have to wait for you, you go so slow, and we're in our early 20's. What will you be like in 5, 10 years?

You enable my anxiety instead of pushing me to do more, take risks, and go out. You'd rather sit inside and watch Netflix forever and it's up to ME to make ANYTHING ELSE happen. I get that we're poor, but going to the beach/playing sports/taking a walk or hike/playing games- these are free!

I am a nervous person already, I wish I could be with someone that pushes instead of pulls for once. I am sick of leaving places because you are "nervous". I am tired of your response to every fight being that you'll "fix it" and that you "love me" but it doesn't change. I'm sick of your fat gut and your low sex drive. I want someone to grow with me and run with me and have fun with me.

And because I've spent 2 years with you I do love you and I just want you to change. I'm just scared I've changed too much to stay with you

Em,

Remember how a couple of months ago I told you I was craving a cig? And then shortly after we stopped talking properly. A month ago I started drinking to get over my ex. You got very angry at me. We stopped talking for good since then. "It hurts me", you said.
Well, yesterday I finally gave in. That cig felt so fucking good. I'm not telling her or anyone about my new weakness though. I miss when you two looked up to me.

- T.

>>17226742
ditto.

>>17226799

Where do you live anon?

>>17226912
You're smarter than that, handsome.

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>>17226702
I don't know who are you or where you live, but what you wrote hit me like a fucking truck.

https://youtu.be/SHTT__uvD2E
from me to a soab

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Dear Holly,

It'll have been about seven whole years since I first met you, and you've been a shining star of hope in my life ever since. I wanted to be where you are, so far away from everything else. So I worked on my mind and spirit every day.

Even though I haven't grown an inch over the last couple of years, now people are commenting on how pretty I am, and I've made lots of friends who wanted to get to know me because they said that they think I'm interesting. Imagine that a loser like me could pull something like that off! And there are more and more people I want to include in my life every day.

And it's all thanks to you. You changed my whole world, Holly.

But... My heart isn't here. I think... even though I somehow decided that it would never work out, I think I still want to be there by your side.

I want to hold you, and keep you safe, but the gap between us is too big, isn't it? I don't know what to do.

Please, just let me see your smile.

-J

I always come here to find a letter from you even though I know it will never happen...

E,
We met 6 years ago, with D and J. Sadly both are gone and we still see eachother each day with A and B. But lately you've been giving me very obvious hints but i have taken none. Maybe i should do in the future and see if we can really start something after all these years knowing so much about eachother and talking for a long time. I hope you feel the same way i do and maybe we can be together.
H

Oh sweet Giselle,
Is your smile as fake as Mona Lisa's? Because I see you. I see you smile, laugh, bring joy and laughter. But it's all a facade. Because when you don't think someone is watching. I see you. How your eyes are nearly filled with tears, that you stare blankly into nothingness and the smile you give is empty of warmth or feeling. I will never see you again Giselle but I've wondered for three long years. Why are you sad Giselle? You're beautiful and bright, a genius in her own might. But fuck, what makes you so sad Giselle?

Здpaвeй,
чyвcтвaм ce yжacнo, oткaктo cи тpъгнa oнaзи вeчep. Beзнитe ми ca нaклoнeни нa eднa cтpaнa, нямa никaкъв бaлaнc. Знaм, чe мoжe дa ти e пpeз кypa и дa нe ти пyкa гpaм, oбaчe aз yceщaм, чe ycпях бeз дa иcкaм дa тe зaceгнa. Дъpжaх ce гpyбo нecъзнaтeлнo, нe cъм гo иcкaлa и иcкaм дa ти ce извиня, зaщoтo нe oбичaм дa нapaнявaм кaквoтo и дa e живo cъщecтвo. Ho нямa дa гo нaпpaвя, зaщoтo eдвa ce пoзнaвaмe, a и eдвa ли щe мe пoтъpcиш oтнoвo.

>>17227431
I'm waiting for you to write to me.

>>17227510
Fuck off putin. This is an english speaking, mongolian rice cooking, image board..

Shouldn't you be chasing around Obama?

>>17227537
May I ask for your initials?

>>17227540
It's not even Russian, dumbass.
It's some fucked up unidentifiable Slavic language (kinda not Ukrainian?), resembles an ancient slavic.

>>17227588
It's ok slav bro. Dont let the anger win.

Just closing eyes and think of happy thoughts. Like squatting in a track suit or starting fights by asking for cigarette.

Then no man can penetrate the iron curtain of mind.

I don't know. I just felt a shift in the wind.
Too long I've been aimless in the dark. He said shit would get scary when I found myself lost but not by choice. I fell apart and gave into the ceaseless tide of my mind. Without you I learned to function but the fear in me is still so strong.

And to you, know I'm not going to push or pull you in any way. One of my favorite things about you is your free spirit. All you ever have to do is ask. I'm just worried you see something in me that's not there. But I come to you as the sad sack of shit I am and you just shrug it the fuck off. How can you look at my glaring mistakes and have no qualms? What's the catch?
This is not about wanting you, it's not about fixing anything. Ive never seen you as damaged let alone broken.

Dear life,

You have made me blessed with everything a man could hope for : a family, love, and a home.

However, these 3 blessings were not the way i hoped they were.

My family. You took away my 2 grandfathers before i turn 2. You nearly took my sister 7 years ago. You blessed me with parents which were away for most of my childhood, but thankfully my grandmother was here to raise me. Then you decided 2 months ago her time was up. I was sad but i didn't argued.

Love. Family excluded. You made me meet this amazing woman that i call Mel half a year ago. She was my everything. She made me better, and i became proud of myself for the first time of my life. Then you decided to make her go away, along with my self-esteem.

A home. Which is now empty because my parents are outside the country, my sisters have their own life, and Mel who probably don't even remember me.

You also made me different from others. And my adolescence was hell because of it. I ended growing up without anything to relate to anyone.

Because you blessed me with a curse. A curse that i old onto everyday with inexplicable wonder.

I don't have anything else for you to take, so
just do me a favor and tell me just this : when will it end ?

>>17227633
Initials?

>>17227588
I think it's Bulgarian, but Google can't seem to translate it.

T
<3
D

You stopped caring really fast.

Farewell.

>>17227765
but i still do..! *cri*

>>17227661
To last initial C
and maybe you won't talk to me but I've been wrong before. If this is it and all for nothing It's almost enough. Better than nothing but I wonder.

Dear M

Sometimes you hail me when you see me around. I'm just "one of those guys" i guess, or maybe "that one strange guy". I'm not expecting anything else, don't misunderstand me. I'm a pathetic loser, not worthy of you, and i'm not getting my hopes up. I just want you to know that to me you're not just "one of those girls", but THE girl. A simple hail of yours can make my day better, even if it is a simple gesture that you do for habit, with no particular meaning. Your presence on this earth is more than enough for me to carry on. I love you.

A

>>17227765
I care about him and my family. I don't care about people so far into the past that they have no positive influence on the present. Those people can and will stay in the past. His birthday is later this month, I care about that

>>17223781
>>17224440
>>17225584
>>17225887
>>17226702
>>17227827
These ones hit me like a 2 by 4

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>>17227827

H,
I'm confused, you wanted to keep contact but suddendly decided to be a stranger.
I've ran from conflict before and I cannot judge you but you really want things to be like this? My burned bridges remained as mistakes and never washed off.
We are too different, that I understand but the effort and reward of a relationship was to overcome those differences, why run away like that after all that we experienced?
I'm afraid that I'll never know your version of what happened or if you really felt something because you're being too good at pretending that I'm no one right now.
I miss you so fucking much it hurts.
I wanted to be with you but as each day passes I feel that this is the real you. Now I just want to move on so please keep doing whatever you're doing because it's working wonders.
G.

(forever butthurt)

W,
I care about you, I dream about you, but you will never know. When you tell me that you understand, I can feel you truly mean it. I know you will disappear.
S

>>17227867
initials?

>>17226263
I wish it really was you.

>>17227574
Why not.

I know there's exactly a 0% chance of them using this site.

B.

Will,

I'm sorry.
I still hold out hope that we'll cross paths some day again.
Until that time, I hope you're well.

Fuck off Lil

It baffles me how you spotted my post so easily.

>>17228521
Well, I know you pretty well.

I hope some time away will help you heal.

S,

I shouldn't have confessed my love for you. I knew since the beginning it would never work out and all its done now is make us distant. You were right in saying that I lash out on my friends as I internalize my problems. I'm bitter, angry, and paranoid. I've realized this now and trying to work on it, but its hard. Yeah I've been cutting myself and drinking. Its working though right? I've been more active haven't I? These vices help tame the demons. You probably don't want to hear this but maybe typing this on something you'll never read will help. I wish we could be like what we were in high school. I miss the old steve. Please come back.

>>17228296
Just talk to him.

>>17228572
You got the wrong gal, but thanks.

Indah,

These threads feel like home to me now, hanging out with the heartbroken. Maybe for once I'll leave this post up. I'll probably delete it, but I don't quite know why - am I scared? I'm scared of the fact we might be nothing like we used to be. I'm scared that I've woken up and gone to sleep thinking about you every day since I met you, and I'm scared to think that won't ever change. I scared I don't want it to.

I miss you so much. These days I don't get out of bed enough; I've been thinking so often about getting in contact just to hear how you're doing, but you were the one who let me go and I haven't heard from you since... I can only hope you're going great. I'm not, just yet. It breaks my heart a little not having you around to help and listen - you left because you knew both of us needed to better ourselves, and I'm honestly not really happy with where I'm at yet - but if I take too long, will I lose you completely? Have I already lost you? Lately I feel like I'm barely hanging onto myself. Most days I feel like a total headcase just because I can't get past you and what we've been through and the memories we shared. I'm terrified and fascinated by how much you influence me, even still. There's an immense desire inside me to want to hold you and tell you how much I love you in every way possible and care for you with everything I've got, but the only time I hold you anymore is in dreams when I'm lucky enough, and that usually ruins me for a day or two.

I haven't heard your voice in a year. I think what I'm most scared of is falling for you all the way again as soon as I do.

J,

It's been 37 days since you were around. I miss you terribly. Nothing seems to comfort me and I only look forward to the day I can be with you again.

Love, M

>>17225775
>>17225796
I have to thank you both for your replies. They're interesting and I have to wonder what the stories are behind them. I'd have more to say but I'd hate to give into the temptation of projecting too much of him and myself onto you. I'll only say this: If you were him I'd live and die through a thousand lifetimes for a chance to be with you. Even if I could only count the number of those lives on one hand, I'm yours. I'm too stubborn; I wouldn't ever stop trying to find you.

>>17225170
Nono, I knew. It's okay.

>>17228900
Ugh. That was not me. That was not why I did it.

A Letter to myself

Another day gone and its all the same I’m still here playing back the images that I refuse to let go.

The way your eyes remained so still as you would open them and my face being the first thing they see.

The soft touch of your skin and taste of your lips as I kissed you reminding myself how thankful I am.

These moments play over and over. I do a decent job of distracting myself throughout the day, but running is the only thing that really helps. The endorphins released while running help me to remember that I can control how I feel mentally and physically.

For a while, I couldn’t even stomach the thought, or view a picture or video with you and your new boyfriend. Seeing you in someone else’s arms made me feel helpless.

Like I had my arms tied behind my back and was thrown over board, but as the weeks press on these emotion seem to fade.

I find myself waking up thinking about other things like friends and family from back home or a book or TV show I watched from the night before.

I don’t spend my day thinking about what I could have done different or what I can do now to fix it.

As each day passes I find myself letting go of you more and more, as each day passes I find it easier to get out of bed and tackle my daily objectives with hopes of achieving a long term goal and to be honest this scares me more than anything.

I don’t want to forget about you, and I battle with myself to keep you in my thoughts. I know I wont be able to keep this up forever and time will eventually run its course and free my mind from such thought, but as of now I am still prepared to fight for your attention and trust.

I know this may seem extremely biased but I have this feeling that this guy is not right for you and its not because I am jealous or upset its because I know that I was the right person for you. We brought the best out in each other.

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E

I love you, and I can tell because how much this is hurting me. You said it was for my own good, and I believe you, but it hurts much more like this than it did before. I don't even know how this is going to help me, it could just be the depression that's making me feel like that, but I know it'll get better and we'll be together again but this hurts so much. Everyone says it's sketchy, and it is, but I trust you, no matter how jealous I get I trust you. I can't take much more of this. I know you're trying and that's what hurts me the most because it doesn't feel like it's there, even though I know it is. There's so much I haven't told you about because I know it would drive you away, I'm still trying to balance myself.

N

Dear A,

I figured you blocked me, and after not responding to my letter I'm guessing you are cutting me out of your life completely. I want so much to believe and hold on to even the tiniest hope that I'd see you again and hold you again, but its slowly eating away at me. I think I'm close to giving up. I won't be sending you anymore letters or anything so I guess you're pretty much dead to me. So I'll end it just like it started. Go die.

Goodbye, R

>>17228936
I only act like I ignore him because so many people want to give him their attention. I don't want to get in his way just because I'm still holding onto the feelings I have for him.

You are adorably foolish.

>>17229006
Lol. Logged into my ex's gmail. It shows a notification in her phone. She'll know its me. Fuck. I don't mean any harm, just that she moved back here and i seen her for the first time in a while...

welp, the shitstorm will come soon. It's funny, deep deep down, I want something to come out of this. Maybe she'll find it sweet rather than ultra creepy.

O,
I'm still in love with you. I never stopped caring. I didn't say it back to you that night because id cheated on you even though we weren't technically in a relationship. All of the shitty things I've said and done to you... I knew you deserved better. That's why I let you go. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I was too childish and immature to realize it at the time. And now I lay up at night still a year later thinking about you. I'm so sorry for everything.
Yours forever,
J

>>17226480
Eh, worth a shot. Chris?

>>17229117
I don't know Andrew. You tell me

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>>17229135
>>17229117
I sense some tension here

>>17229135
Negative. My bad.

B

Love you yesterday
Love you still
Always have
Always will

M

>>17225776
>>17225847
It's not an interesting story at all, to be honest. First, I'll tell you that it takes me weeks to open up with strangers to talk to them casually. I'm a very shy, reserved person with a moderate amount of social anxiety. On top of that, I'm very guarded; I've got walls. There are only two people on the planet who I've allowed to get this close. I keep myself subdued because of the anxiety and also because I feel some emotions too intensely, as well as an overbearing fear of getting hurt again. Hopefully this helps you understand why this person is so important to me in my own strange way.

To put it plainly, I fell in love with a married man that I met at work. I first worked with him for a few hours on an evening shift. That initial conversation was a blur, but I felt something within the first twenty minutes of talking to him. It was like talking to someone I've already known for years and picking up where we left off rather than someone I literally just met. This absolutely shocked me because no one--not even the people I've loved so dearly in my life--has ever made me feel more comfortable being myself so quickly like he did.

I am absolutely horrible at making conversation but the four hour shift flew by like it was nothing, My face hurt so much from smiling, laughing, and talking so much by the end of the night. I blushed like crazy, my heart fluttered, my skin tingled. This reaction was a different sort of monster that I never encountered before. It scared me but it felt exhilarating. I only spent four precious hours with him but it felt like magic. How his eyes lit up from talking about things so passionately. How we shared so much in common, and how easy it was for me to just -talk-. I never had a moment of odd silence or panic about not knowing what to say. The conversation flowed so smoothly and we played off each other's humor like it was a sparring match.

(1/2)

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>>17229210
I thought this feeling was just a fluke, but it never ceased. I didn't get to work with him often but each time I did I kept discovering more and more to love about him. It was strange to find someone to share so much in common with. Not in a "we like a lot of the same things" sort of way. It was more than that. It felt like home, it felt like I belonged there. I found myself memorizing odd things like the way he laughs, how the corners of his mouth curls when he smiles, the way he tilts his head and clicks his tongue when he's thinking, and countless other things.

Something about it... how he made me feel so at ease, how I didn't need to pretend to be someone else with him. How I just somehow knew that it felt perfect, even if it was one-sided. I knew that it wouldn't go anywhere, and as much as I want him it would be heartbreaking if his marriage ended. He loves her so much and he is happy, and I'd rather see him happy than anything else. In my post I said it was an unconditional love, and it really is. I want to pay back every kindness he did for me tenfold. I want to make him laugh and smile and be there when he needs to cry or vent. I feel an aching deep down in my soul--a desire to be closer in a more companionate basis. I would never allow this, of course. Becoming closer would do nothing but hurt me in the end. As much as I've tried to distance myself and become cold, he insists on drawing me back in and having me rediscover why I fell so hard in the first place.

It's frustrating to feel this sort of way about someone and not be able to articulate it well enough. I wrote so many unsent letters to him that people have called heartbreaking and beautiful, but the moment I try to tell the story it comes out terribly. My thoughts are a mess. If anything, please read the poem I've attached to this post. It's originally from a comic I found years ago, and it's something that immediately came to mind when I realized my connection to him.

So, one day I'm as interesting as fuck, the next day I'm trash. Is that how relationships work nowadays, Rosanna?

JRG

I think I need to burn the journal

P

I am P

Looks like I need you again. This keeps happening. I'm sorry.
I'll try and manage on my own for now if I can.

>>17229444
initials?

>>17229216
Thank you so much for your contribution anon.

You've put into words exactly how I feel about my lost love and even more and I really appreciate it. From one broken heart to another, thank you.

M.

The time we stayed together was the best gift anyone could give to me. When you needed to go home, half of me get that plane with you.
I'm sorry for saying "no", only love wouldn't buy a house and food for us.
I don't blame you.
I told you I was going to work on this, now I have why more then what we needed. Funny how life works, huh?
I trully hope you are happy now and with someone who love you, you deserve the best.

I'm only you past now, last thing I want is haunt your life.

F.

S-

You know, I never really got closure, but I guess maybe you didn't either. That's okay, I was pretty done with your shit in the beginning. You constantly mocked me for playing a sport I love, you'd say "that's not even a real sport, it's not like you can get hurt really badly" (uh, one teammate broke her leg and another sustained a concussion, gfy it's one of the most dangerous sports).

And you were always drunk when I'd come over, and if you'd ever come over, you always brought a bottle. The last few times I stayed over, you ended up drunkenly crying. I really don't know why the fuck I dealt with that, and you'd probably sit there and say, if asked, that you dumped me, although no such words were ever spoken or texted between us. I was definitely on the verge of telling you this shit wasn't working if you hadn't ghosted me.

I mean, at least you have a job and your own place, and even though you're living literally around the corner from me, I don't ever see you in the neighborhood. (Guess I'm thankful you're banned from my favorite bar)

I know this all sounds hateful, but it's not meant to be. It's been months and months since I saw you, and I just now feel like I need to get this off my chest. And now I'm sitting here wondering what the fuck i do to attract these guys.

You don't have a car or a license. The guy I'm fucking with now has it all but no job. And a guy I dated briefly last year had no job, lived with his mom and fucking never had a license, and was older than me. Like what the fuck, my judgement is shit. Or...at least, I can't seem to make it with the guys I actually like. I'm giving up for now, maybe I really am just a crazy bitch.

feeling anxious today, not sure why. im sure it will pass eventually. i just hate this feeling.

J-
It's weird how I feel so comfortable with you. How our dynamic is one it usually takes years for me to achieve. How when I look in your eyes, I just feel light as air. How whenever I leave, that happiness lingers with me all day.

I wish I could see you out of context so we could get to know one another. So I could finally find out if you're seeing someone. I like you way too much, but not enough to wreck my life yet.

M

you open up my heart and you fulfill my soul. whenever i hold you i dont want to let go, you are mine or so you say, but ever other day you tell me to get away. you love me then you dont your heart is undecided, but i try to deal with it because your what i want. i know your confused but ill be here for you until you realize what your truly want then if you like ill go. or i can stay and we can start to build are life again.

>>17225861
What the fuck...

M

I dumped you and you decided to ghost me. You obviously hate me and I have good news for you. My life as turned for the worst and I'm now contemplating suicide. That one year relationship was great and you'll feel proud to have me in your killcount.

A

>>17229978
initials?

>>17229975
I'm anxious too.

Hey, you.

I don't think this classifies as "someone who will never read it". I'm fairly sure you will.
Anyway. I found all the letters you ever sent me. Actually, I never lost them. But just now I gathered the courage to glance at them.
They are absolutely all about how much you miss me, how much you love me, how happy you were that we would be together soon and how you were so sure we'd be together forever, we'd never have to spend another day apart and how happy that fact made you.

At some point you just sent me a "Thank you" card. It was sweet in a funny way.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Nowhere, I think.

Some days are better than others, right? Today isn't one of those, not yet. There's this..Knot down my throat, it's so tight.
And it's raining. I remember we loved rainy days. I don't know, now they're just sad.
I've never seen this version of you and it's a little scary. It's like we're completely detached, like all that time meant nothing or simply didn't exist. I wish it wasn't like that. Maybe some emotion would do good, I don't know.

For someone who knew everything, I sure say "I don't know" a lot nowadays, don't I?

Well, I think I'm going to end this letter. You know I was never good with these to begin with.

I'm not going to say those three words, but know they're there. Buried deep down.
Hah. Maybe that's what's stuck in my throat, hurting it so much?

But yeah. I'm rooting for you. Whatever you do, I know you can achieve it. And maybe I won't be there encouraging you or protecting you, but I'll be watching from afar.
You've always made me the proudest.
Take care, yeah?

“He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

>>17230159
initials?

>>17230172
Sorry, the person this is for will definitely know.
But if you could relate, best of luck to you. I know first hand how much this hurts.

>>17229960
Initials please?

How come after all those years of not having seen you I am still sensitive too guys of your type? It's definitely not because it's "my type" of guy. It's because they remind me of you. They automatically stand out to me. And when I see them I still check twice if it's really not you. Eyes, lips, moles, fingers. I can't even tell for sure if I would recognize you if you were to stand in front of me. But I still try.

I think I'm getting a bit worse again. It's probably just the season though, which still is connected to you somewhere in my mind. Summer nights really are the worst.

>>17230179
are you leaving me?

I am sad that you are not responding to me.
I am slightly worried that I am irritating you with my persistence, but I am not going to stop unless you ask me to.
I miss you.
I hope you are ok.

>>17230159
far out.

This isn't for me, I don't think it is... but I swear it's almost all relevant. I almost had a heart-attack. Is that you, caribou?

>>17230179
You're probably not the girl I've been looking for in everyone and everything but thanks for giving me the motivation to pick up Wuthering Heights.

"Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I'm gazing at a distant star. It's dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago. Maybe the star doesn't even exist any more.
Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything."

I have a crush on this guy but I wanna fuck a black man so fucking bad

>>17230179
sorry, I thought you were a man

I can't stop thinking of you, today, and suddenly I'm worried that I may just lose my footing and fall deep, deeply in love with you. That's a jump I'm not ready to make. Not unless something comes of this, first. I have to have certainty that you're going to end up in my life, that you're the one I've been waiting for.

Could you be? I really hope so. I can't wait to see you again.

sueño contigo todo el tiempo
jg

>>17231237
Initials please?

We spent the whole year finally bonding and became the best of friends. We were no longer distant brothers but instead people who came to rely on each other. It was a wonderful change of pace.
And then what do you do? You fucking date my ex not even two weeks after we broke up.
You talked about how you and her had a mature discussion about all parties involved. You know the best way to find out how I feel? Fucking ask me.
You would go on and on about how guilty you felt, and then do nothing to solve the problem. You talk about how you 'just want a solution that makes everyone happy.' Guess what? There fucking isn't one. In this situation someone is going to get hurt. And you decided it would be me rather than some bitch you'd only known for a month.
I gotta say, no matter how much it might've hurt, cutting both of you out of my life was the best decision.
You have a self-destructive personality and end up hurting your close ones by hurting yourself. It's disgusting.
While just two months ago I would've missed you when you moved out, now I'm grateful.

T
Miss you
D

>>17231259
I thought of you today and with words I can't describe the way mi corazon se movio

>>17231279
How do you think you know me? I'm loathe to give up my initials...

It still bothers me that we couldn't at least remain friends. It was my fault for growing emotions beyond friendship and I only messed things up by revealing them to you. Should have just kept them to myself and been happy for you and your newfound love.

I should have been happy that we both had someone. I have my gf, and you had your bf. Still, you didn't make it easy for me to act like our companionship meant nothing. It meant a lot. I know it meant as much to you as well. You never told me, but your reaction to my spillage was hint enough.

In a way, you knew it too that it was too late for us. Shame.

I can hope for now is that you are happy and stop looking down on yourself so much. You thought yourself shit, but I always thought you were a wonderful person. And if you won't accept that, then who am I to think better of myself. You and I share that same shitty mentality. So if you are shit, so am I.
I hope you can smile about all this some day. Fuck, I hope you get your smile back at all.

I miss you, hothead.

>>17231188
I am. The quote was something she sent me.

>>17231370
too bad I highly doubt she uses /adv/

>>17223590
C,
I actually thought you liked me but you were just desperate for any kind of connection. You're not as great of a person as you build yourself up to be. Insecure whore.

D.S.

I know I should tell you all of this but it's hard to do so. Harder than overcoming my amphetamine addiction, and the cocaine one, and the benzo one. Harder than not ending my life after that. Harder then telling you I love you in the rain outside your house In the middle of the night on the first day of my withdrawal. Harder than coping with at the shit I got trough at the psychiatric clinic. And Harder than living with my fucked up mind. But I did all of that for you and I want to thank you for always being here and never letting me down. Thank you for understanding and in the first place even enganing in a conversation with a suicidal paranoid worthless drug addict that only knows music and nothing else. Thank you for not giving up on me and saving me from the shithole I had made for myself. Thank you for being my only hope and reason to not give up and thank you for coming before it was too late. Thank you for loving me for who I am. You gave me everything and I might still be struggling but soon I'll also give you myself. I hope you know you are the reason I wake up every morning and realize how much I love you.

To the only person that didn't give up on me when I needed someone, J.T.

>>17231433
I don't think he does, either

C,
I wish I had the balls to say it sooner before you left. I don't want to blame my insecurities or social anxiety anymore. Fear owns my actions, the fear of you saying no drives me to not act or say anything at all. I'm 22 fucking years old and I still act like a child and I don't know how to fix it. I wish I knew what to do or say, and no amount of complaining on here will teach me how. For what ever reason, I thought women would express interest first.

I want to better myself the next time I see you. In a way you are my motivation (and that sounds creepy as fuck). I have never been in a relationship before, and I am afraid of it ending, before I even have the courage to start it. So fuck it, I'll go for broke. See you when you come back.

D

>>17231562
C here. Ya dun fucked up, brah.
You had one fucking job, man.
All you had to do was walk up to me and be like, "Ayy lmao, your face.... I like that shit." and we could've lived happily ever after, but no. Too difficult. You chose comfort and the easy route over me. So now, I'm going to go find a man that's willing to put ME first.

Ciao, D. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. I'm serious, that door is fucking broken and we haven't gotten around to fixing it yet, it's fucking dangerous.

Kyla,

I miss you so much I don't even know what to do anymore. I heard you are moving soon, you may already have...All I can think about is seeing you and talking to you again so I can finally tell you how I feel and ask you if you want to try this no matter how crazy it is for both of us. I really don't know what you would say but I'm so mad at myself for not trying and I'm scared I won't get to see you again...Fuckkkkk it's like the more time that passes the more I realize how much I care about you and want to be with you...I hope we can talk soon.

J.

I think I really was in love with you and I'm scared I'll never feel the same way again. I'll miss you so much and I'll never forget about you. I'm so sad I had to end this, it just wasn't fair to anyone. I'm scared what you'll do now, don't hurt me because I love you and I've never hurt you, you're the asshole in this so please don't avenge me in anyway? You could destroy me if you wanted I'm scared as hell but I had to end it, it was just so wrong. I can't believe I love you.

>>17231409
are you leaving her?

>>17230159
D?

>>17231632
JK?

and here i sit all alone, stuck inside this empty home. my soul is dark my spirit is broke if i had it my way id be dust in the ocean. this life isn't what its supposed to be, and i don't know how to make it what i want. i dont have the skills, the knowledge or the guts. i just have fear anxiety and lust. i will never be what i need to be for this world. i wish i could just die or give up, this life isn't worth living i don't offer enough.

>>17231706
No, she left me.

>>17231572
It'd be funny if it were actually you lol.

>>17231896
It might be me

>>17231796
no, I think they're serious

“Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order to discover two truths: that we are not who we thought we were; and that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being.”
― Jean-Yves Leloup

>>17231941
Serious about what? I'm so damned confused

If it's the broken door... We definitely have one of those

>>17231796
JG

>>17231960
Oh my god I'm an idiot. Ignore my posts. I was replying to the to the wrong damn thing.

>>17231941
Serious? I'm always serious... about joking.
Lol, I'm just joking. Seriously though.

D,
Please tell me if I accidentally hurt, insult, or offend you somehow.
Since nothing really offends me i can't tell what is supposed to offend other people.
I've developed an irrational fear of emotionally hurting people to compensate for this.
But it's easier for everyone if you just tell me when i say something hurtful.
Which i'm sure i've already done, including those last few comments.
M.

>>17231404
Yeah i doubt she browses 4 chan. I think she's too sweet for that. But then again she does have a cool edgy side....so who knows?

>>17231463
C's last initial?

C,

I still love you girl and I always will, I will always cherish our memories and time together. I lied about a lot of the excuses for our breakup because I was being selfish, and you know why I was being selfish, I've complained about the reason before. But if we lived closer together we'd still be together. I'll think about you everyday until the day I die, you have no idea how much you impacted my life in a positive way, and every girl I date I will compare them to you. You're an amazing person, you'll always be in my heart. Love you.

D :3

Dear Chang,

suk a muther dik bitch muther yar bub. Syntax lentils in my mental. Gotta bring up the garage baboo. You entice me with your kinetic motion. You bring life into a lifeless bolsek.

Sincerely, karot

I like a person and I am pretty sure this person likes someone else. Idk why I even like this person he is not my kind of guy that I look for normally. He is the exact opposite. Plus, I barely know him. And he already thinks I like him. I am trying to stop liking him but I can't. My friend says that he seems like he doesnt "have feelings" or keeps them hidden, but he likes someone and I know that. He is also leaving so I have to stop liking him... it's pathetic.

Dear N
Every day I try to talk to you, only to feel molten steel drip over my heart. The burning mix of fear and passion puts a tear in my eye, I can never conquer it, I can never look you in the eye and say "Let's go, our future is waiting." Everybody tells me how easy it would be, that a simple "Hi" could start something wonderful. Maybe I'm over thinking it, but somehow speaking to you has become my only fear in life.
-S

I love you more than anything.

I hope you can take me seriously again one day.

Dear I
I hope you will die or move to other.
You destroyed my life...

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Y.I. / C / whatever other aliases

I want to thank you for everything you gave me and that we did.

You were rotten horse shit of a human being. I couldn't admit what I knew at first; thank god I know now. But if there was anyone I wanted to subject to the awfulness that was my crappy, unreal sense of what love was? Thank god it was you. Receiving a message with a loaded question about you- that lead me to the detailed account of every little thing that you did to everyone else- was strangely cathartic.

My anxiety at the time, the clinginess, the neediness... You knew just how to be that skinner box button of random affection and play that. Maybe it sprung because of you or because of newfound love, but it certainly flowered. NHK's Misaki. Terrible. I don't know if I was your first or your third or your eighth. I wonder how many other anons there were during that. You disgust me.

But what's marked my feelings for you is gone. At least, the anxiety is. What's left was chill, but worried- I thought it was accepting defeat, that I wouldn't love that deeply again. Maybe because it didn't exist! But that's wrong. I met someone and they're more loving than you ever were. They brought out more love than I've thought possible- not the puppy (ick) kind that you gave, but a serious commitment to us. Each other.

They're prone to depression, and I've seen some of the things you've suffered from. I've said some of the things I said to you. I still believe them. And I know now that someone who loves me knows those things- and still loves me, maybe even accepts them. They know it's wrong and they've apologized for the things that hurt me in their darkest moments... As have I. I am not their hugbox; I'm their support- and they're mine. My support, my guide to get me going places, my impetus for improvement. Mine. And I'm theirs.

So thank you. Thank you for getting the awful SO out of me so I can give someone so much better.

You trash.

Love,
-D

>>17233041
P.S. For all the negativity I spit, I pray I speak to the you of two years ago. I pray I speak to someone who moved on from that stage, who I can be wrong about. I know there's a good person in there.

Even you I haven't lost hope in.

This one sounds a bit cheesy in my opinion, but....

To the person whom I wish to forget...
To A.

A new life is about to unfold for me. A lot of things just flash before my eyes until the day where I am a new me. I never thought I could get this far, yet I am afraid this is the farthest I can get. But, I just let life go where it wants, but what then? People always told me that I should control myself, but I just let the flow of reality pull me in. That reality is constantly in flux, and can change course wherever it wants, and whenever. A river that constantly expands, but all I can do is follow it, let that river take me to where it wants me to be. The banks, so vivid, yet hard to reach kept me thinking about the one time I wanted the river to change course. That was when I did my wrongs. Time is something that I tipped over, with no conscience at all. And as it fell, the flow of time suddenly stopped and changed the course of the river. I did not even realize what had happened until the path I was taking, showed me a trail that I was afraid of.

The blue gate that separates us, was a nuisance that we wanted gone. As we begged, the color stayed still, but flowed in its own shape. What could we do? The gate manipulated our bonds of time, shifting intangibly and dreadfully. The powers the Internet granted us has given us hope, hope that one day, one of us will triumph over the gate and pass on through the other side. Time was our key.... And time was our dagger. One slip and time had stabbed through our hearts, tearing our hope apart. Yet, the dagger that fell, had clearly been because of me. I let time fall out of my hands, and impaled what we had to nothing but dust.

No matter how much dust I collect, I will never recreate what I had slipped away. Please, A. I never meant to hurt you. The passing of time and idle thoughts have shown me the bloody dagger that twisted my fate. A fate that I wish I could say ours, but will never be granted. Please forgive me
B.

Dear Vick
It been a 1 and half year since we broke up. I would like us to chat like we used to before we got into boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. Miss the chat we used to have at night.

Nick

You don't love me anymore so please don't text me, thank you.

>>17232988
what happened?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
Your life is misery?
I am the one sitting up every night crying about you.
I fucking love you and you are not even thinking of me.
Every second of every goddamn day I wait for you to text me. I know you dont have my number but fuck, it would be so easy for you to get it. Just love me, please God, you already said you did, now get over yourself and let us be together.
fuck fuck fuck

V

i just had garlic bread with wasabi cream cheese and i swear to god it's better than any guy attention that i ever got

and that's why i'm fat

>>17233325
garlic bread doesn't ask you to suck its dick

>>17232951
>My friend says that he seems like he doesnt "have feelings" or keeps them hidden, but he likes someone and I know that.
Goddammit, this hit a little too close to home.

>>17226179
Man I hope this isn't about me lol.

>>17233357
Oh, but it is. You know this in your soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooul.

>>17225942
L
Things would be different
A

Hey Dad,

You'll never be able to read this, but I miss you. Things have been pretty rough for me recently from a multitude of reasons and I wish you could be here with me. When things started to become sour, my first thought was to go to you for help, even though it's already been half a year since you've passed.

I'm sorry I didn't show that I cared more, the day before you ended up having to suddenly go to the hospital. If I had known that would have been the last time I was going to ever be able to talk to you again, I wouldn't have been so careless.

I love you and we all miss you.
I hope things are better for you on the other side.

Alex,
I miss you

>>17231463
I did and I am.

You're the anchor here. Shoulda hopped on the boat.

>>17233041
Incredible letter. Huge love to you, especially with that Punpun reference.

>>17233070
Not cheesy. Beautiful.

P

I lied when I said I didn't feel the same way as you I was scared of people judging me for being Bi, I do think you look cute when you dress up as a girl, I don't think you look creepy. I'm sorry for hurting you.

K

Dear A,

I think it's better if we left things this way.

J

File: image.jpg (83 KB, 1024x1024) Image search: [Google]

83 KB, 1024x1024

Dearest,

Back here again. I need to write something to you, even if it's just something small. To calm myself and compose my thoughts. To feel you, ever so slightly, through my memories and writing. I've gone and looked at some old messages again from over a year back - back when we broke down, and when I was acting so strange. It was an interesting read, seeing where I still feel similar and also seeing things that I can't believe I felt or said. I don't know. Everything that happened there and since then is so uncertain, and so is everything ahead - back then you said more than once that you want to see me in your future, but what if that never happens? I feel the biggest drive I have to get better is still you and wanting to be a better person for not only myself but for you just in case our paths do cross again. I still feel the red string; do you? If the worst happens and we are never together again then I am slowly becoming content with how lucky I was just to experience you and what we shared. I'm not sure if the right thing to do is carry on still thinking of you this way - with this glimmer of hope buried deep in my heart - but I feel things have gotten as bad as they'll ever get with us and it could only possibly get better from here. "If I become nostalgia, you'll always love me more." I pray that time makes us both forget the few bad memories and love each other even more, even if we're not together. I believe I'll be able to hold up my end of that arrangement without problems - I've somehow convinced myself that you've set the bar far too high and nobody else will ever compare, so nowadays I don't even bother thinking about filling that position.

> Error: Comment too long.

whoops. maybe I should stop. hah.

>>17234035 (2/2)

From today onwards, I'm going to try much harder to get out of the ditch I'm stuck in. I'm going to work on my mental health (declining at a scary rate, by the way,) and focus on getting myself happy and being happy with myself. I want to make us both proud - I want to be the boy you fell in love with, only better.

I wonder where your mind is at and the things you think late at night. I often find myself lost, staring out the window or into myself, wondering if I can reach across suburbs and hold or even just touch you with my thoughts. I'm praying that life brings us back together, because I'm scared I won't have the strength.

Hopefully you find yours; either the strength to be happy without me, or the strength to find me in your heart again. You're still in mine; I feel and fear it's all yours.

Dear A

I was the one that fed your dog chocolate when we were younger but was too scared to tell you, I figured since he didn't die everything was okay. That's why he still avoids me.

H

V,

I wish I could pinpoint a moment where everything started to change. I wish I hadn't taken those moments for granted, I just assumed there would be so many more just like them. I miss falling asleep next to you. Thinking about you and her together makes me feel like someone just punched a hole straight through my stomach. She's a lot cuter than me, that's for sure, but do you guys have the same connection we did? I wish everything would just go my way for once but that's selfish to ask for. I want you to be happy but the idea that you're happy without me is too much for me to handle.

-A

>>17234035
>>17234040
Wewlad, you must be me

>>17234236
I wish you all the luck in the world, anon <3

Z

I like you and you'll probably never see this but oh well. Seeing you most days makes me happy. Idk why I like you, you obviously don't like me. What you thought is real, but which one?

R,
Why can't you notice me? After all I did to you? Why are you so self centered? Fuck man, you're probably surrounded by girls right now. After all, your friends are mainly girls..
I thought you liked me, and it'll work out.
You know, I can't get over your shallow ass.

T,
You're honestly such a sweetheart, and I wish I didn't lie to you about myself. I try to give you subtle warnings about myself. I hope I don't hurt your feelings and you'll still stay after you know the real me. I hope we can make it, and live a happy life together.

E,
I know that my sister is your favorite, but please stop making it obvious. Can't you see that you're digging me a hole? I wish you cared more about me, because I never felt that warmth from you.

E,
Why? Why did you forget me? I'm your daughter for fucks sake. Why can't you give me atleast a bit of attention. Why did we stop going to the movies and meeting up? The last time I met you was months ago, and it was for me to get some money. Why when I talk you don't listen to me? Why are you such a fucking asshole?

Dear P

I'd like to be your first priority. I wish you would train your dog and put more effort in us. I wish I wasn't just some person you talked to when you're bored. I wish you'd stop playing World of Warcraft.

M

Eri
We've only met once about 4 months ago. I don't even know your real name but I can't stop thinking about you. That day that we met, I was never like that. You are the first girl who made me nervous enough that I couldn't talk. I saw you and I immediately had palpations. You are the only one who's ever done that to me. I saw your page on facebook the other day and that you're going to perform. I'm going to watch it. I hope you notice me. If not, I'll look for you and ask you if you want to hang out or grab a bite sometime. I'll try not to be shy this time.
-C

Wrapping this up now. Think I'm done with this thread. No more crazy outbursts that need to be given substance to keep them safely away from my incandescent brain. No more confessing to depraved thoughts. No more bragging about ridiculous or deplorable actions.
No more wanting to shout your name but constantly being worried that you would find what I've been writing the past few months and know that it originated from me - no more fear of the irreparable damage that this could do to us and our friendship.
Something has changed. Something has died in me, or shed its skin, or changed alignment. I'm not who I was.
I miss you, and I worry for you. I smile often when I think of you. Mundane things remind me of you throughout the day.
But I'm not deranged now. Not scraped out hollow. Not mired in tar and burning.
Everything feels flat and I think I'm returning to what I was before you set my heart racing.

No more need to write; no more feelings to drive that.

But I do miss you.

>>17235257
I miss you too, but what is done is done. Goodbye.

W
If you wanted to keep me down, you should've used a bigger weight.
- A

I don't want to drag you in to this hole with me, I just want some reassurance. I feel like you're going to leave me instead when I'm at my lowest, so I've been trying to buffer myself and pulling away. I feel so useless, and I'm worried you see me that way.

>>17235614
More like he needed a bigger dick

I lied to you and for that I apologise. It was I. I said that. I did it. And I constantly wish to do it again.
Allow me to shed my virtue and embrace my vice.
Allow me to become worse before I become better.

T,

I wish you would be more open with me. You gush about me to your friends when I'm not there, but you act so indifferent when were together. How do you really feel about me? Do you actually love me? Also, I wish you would put some more effort in. I know we're long distance for right now but I feel like I initiate all the call,texts, and Skype. Give me a reason to keep holding up my end of the relationship

Hello O! I miss you and love you, we spent time together in a "group" for about two months and I hope you're doing okay.

You live in California, I live in Indiana.

You're the coolest most intelligent person I've ever meet, yet I can never tell you how much our friendship means to me. I can't move forward with it and try to make it more.

I can't make myself do and LDR, I'm still in Uni with a good internship. I have a degree program that actually has value(BS in CS).

I just want you to know, that I know you're the best person I've ever met. I love staying up late and talking about weird spiritual shit, or strange esoteric knowledge we have.

I can't go forward with an LDR because I want the good times to be forever.

A

I miss you a lot, you don't know how much you wander my mind that i dont know what can i do to clear it not that i want to forget you, no. But maybe im a coward of not speaking my mind before when i met you and spent time with you and you have given me some light within the darkest parts of my heart that i thank you, i have a lot of things and im ok but why the fuck feels so empty even it feels worse when you know how empty will be the future, but... it will be that way, Like i always said to you, no matter what you do, your happiness is the most important thing and i hope your health gets better, one day i will make it for it. Take care , i miss you.

G

>>17227940
it may be working wonders for you... but its killing me.

Milena
You're stupid, ugly and married. Stop flirting with all the guys at work they're just nice because they have to work with your fat and lazy ass.

so sick of everyone talking shit about me, why cant people just say shit to my face instead of behind my back. i dont know how much more of this i can take

Hey S, it's J.
I've outgrown you. It's weird because you were one of my respected role-models in my late teens. But, the longer I watch you, the more I come to realize that you haven't been growing as a person. In fact, you've backslid into 2edgy4u bullshit that makes me want to slap you back to reality. Maybe you were always like this, and I was too young to realize? Maybe you reverted because of your piece of shit spouse? I have to keep playing nice, or you'll shit-talk about me like you do anyone else who points out your recent shittiness. But I just want you to know: You're acting like the bastard child of a spoiled jock and a rich gothling. You live in such a delicate house of glass, you should quit chucking stones and pretending to take the moral high-ground.
Either step up and act like a fucking adult, or at least stop being a hypocrite.

>I'm delivering it, so he (probably might) read it

T,

It’s been about four years now, and I’m writing to apologize. You might recall that during our last conversation, I had assured you that I wouldn’t treat you like an obstruction; that – as I think I worded it – I would at least have the courtesy to ask you how things were going, no matter how much time had elapsed.

Of course, I ended up doing the exact opposite of that, and not only once. In spite of my actions, I can vividly recall how pleasant and gracious you were with me. I’m sorry for not returning that graciousness, and for all the unnecessary hurt or disappointment I caused.

I don’t expect you to accept or respond to my remarks. However, should I see you again, know that I wouldn’t pass the opportunity to treat you with the same courtesy you afforded me, even when I didn’t deserve it.

J

M, you confuse the shit outta me. What do you actually want? You didn't seem to want anything serious, but then that thing happened. Tons of people contacted you to see if you were okay. I was only one of many. But was that what changed things? Did you have one of those ridiculous life-flashing-before-your-eyes moments that people talk about? I don't believe in that shit. But something changed your mind, and I don't know exactly what it was. Suddenly you got more invested in "us". Are you okay? Are you just lonely? You're finally giving more of yourself to this thing we have, but I don't want you to be doing that because you're acting on some fake epiphany.

Two weeks ago, you mentioned you were seeing someone else. I knew I couldn't ask you for more, so I didn't pry for details about the other person (was there more than one?). But now... where did they go? Are you treating me special because I'm the only one, or is this another one of your tests? I know I should value myself more. I shouldn't put myself through the bullshit you push on me. You have terrible mood swings and constantly try to make me jealous. You'll purposely ignore me for days and then finally respond, but only to the simplest questions and ignore the rest of the messages. If there's something not good enough about me, then you should just move on. I don't know how to change into what you what, and even if I did know, I'm not sure I'd do it. You're so fucking high maintenance. I don't know why you have this hold on me.

I noticed your personality had some sort of switch flip when I mentioned going out of town to see a friend tomorrow. If you're not comfortable with it, then you should say something instead of being passive aggressive. God damn you're hot and cold.

>>17236780
M ' s last initial?

>>17236791
S

You're leaving tomorrow... what do I do. I'll be there but how much longer do I have? I feel empty already when it was nothing to begin with. I wish I could read something meant for me. I like you and I'll tell you later.
-?

J,

I'm starting to think that I should have never pushed for a real relationship with you. Things were fine the way they were between us when we were just fucking around, maybe if I hadn't have been so intent on becoming "exclusive" and all that shit, I could have saved myself a lot of pain and heartbreak. I should have gotten out when I had the chance, but you're so goddamn charming and I fell for you so fast. I hate that you have this effect on me.

My love for you is killing me. I love you so much that I know that I'm not going to be able to move on from you if or when things end between us, and it fucking sucks.

-T

T,

You know, not once had I ever thought about how badly I treated you because I was so happy to move on from our relationship and do whatever the fuck I wanted without being committed to anyone.

Now, I'm suspecting that I'm somebody else's rebound like you were mine and it's horrible, I don't think I could be in any more emotional pain. Haha. Karma's a bitch. Deep down, I knew that I wouldn't be able to get away with treating you the way I did - to move on and be happy - without some sort of consequence. How did you do it? How did you not pick up on all the red flags? How did you survive me ignoring you for so long? The signs were so obvious that I was using you, how did you not see it?

I know you're not that smart, and I know you're not the most observant, but seriously, there were SO many things that pointed towards the fact that I didn't actually care about you. I'm just having a tough time understanding how you didn't see it.

I'm sorry that I neglected you. You smelled like cat piss all the time, you were immature as could be, you were only a few steps above being literal white trash, you never took care of yourself and you still hold the title of my most embarrassing lay.

I'm sorry that I let you love me while I didn't really recopriate your feelings. I was confused, I thought I was the problem for the longest time. That's still no excuse for staying with you for as long as I did when I knew I wanted out though, and I'm sorry for that. The relationship before you had knocked my self-confidence down so low that I didn't think I could do any better than you.

This pain is fucking unimaginable. Is this how you felt when I ended everything with you and told you that everything had been a lie? I know "I'm sorry" won't cover it, but I don't know what else to say at this point.

I knew you weren't right for me and that deep down, I didn't actually love you, and I'm sorry for letting you believe in something that wasn't real for so long.

>>17237153
Forgot my initial

-T

Hey S

I miss you, I hope that by August you have a few days off you can enjoy. You're very hard working and your frustration worries me as well. I hope that you get that certificate soon because for someone your age to do that amount of work makes me feel like I'm completely useless and you deserve the world. Love you.

>>17235257
A?

You think that making me aware of the whole truth is harsh. That's bullshit and here's why.

From my perspective you would rather hide the truth to spare my feelings or whatever your reasoning is, but the reality of the situation is your allowing this bullshit to fuck with my mental issues when you could just tell me the truth and probably a level a lot of my anxiety and such. The truth may be harsh but what you're doing is worse from my perspective. It's not because I'm some kind of control freak, it's because I want for my anxiety and other issues to stop fucking with my head and am desperate for some relief.

I'm trying to do everything I can to lessen it, such as cutting my caffeine intake to 1/4 of what it was and it has helped but it still lingers and fucks with me.

You're not the people I thought you were and I'm done confiding in any of you. You've proven to me that you're not friends in any real capacity and if I can't trust you I see no reason to stick around, spend time with any of you or live with any you. If you were aware of what I've been up to you would probably start a fight with me, but much like you are doing to me I'm not telling you any more than that. Mostly because I have no plans on stopping.

If you don't like that then maybe you should have thought about your words and actions beforehand.

Dear L,

I'm taking comfort in the anomity and how full this thread is, so if you are there, you won't know I'm here. Just like you didn't know I was on drugs. Xanax, actually. I'm sorry L. You were getting into loratabs then and I couldn't bare to see the only person that mattered to me then spiral like I had. Then E came and she made some promises that I should've never listened to. But we're not to E yet, L. Let's discuss that. I still dont fully know why I left. You're a 9/10. Probably the best relationship id ever have. That time we got stoned on my b day and you puked at olive garden? I wanted to marry you right there. But I was young, scared, and at our age it was too young to be talking about marriage. I think I realized this all too quickly, aided by E's constant prying for my dick, I got sick of the problems within myself. Sorry I dropped you, L. I'm fucked up. I cried for a couple years after... It's been 3 1/2 now. You have a kid, I have a new home in a new state, and I still haven't talked to you. Still have never looked you in the face and told you flat out what happened. You deserved better. You were my heart. I guess I just couldn't hack it. I hope your happy these days. I never found out the gender of your baby. Everyone always asks if I wanna know or even if I wanna see you when I come back to vsit, but I can't do that to you or I. If you held on this long to my letter, suppose you might like to know I'm clean now, eating healthier, i quit cigarettes. On my way to becoming a therapist so I can help faggots like me with the problems they made for themselves. I love you, L. Saying it anymore almost seems like a lie. Like I love a memory more than a person, but what we had I will always love. Take care of yourself & your kiddo.

With love and regrets,

-D

J

This doesn't feel like a relationship anymore.

>>17237681
That depends. Who are you?

>>17237787
I feel the same about my J.

E

>>17237681
No, not A. Despite what the other anon may wish you too believe.

?
Haha you left and yeah. I'll probably never see you again and I didnt get to say that I like you. I should've let her tell you that I liked you. Anyways, have fun!
?

Fuck.. You're fucked up. Now I'm almost certain this isn't what you want. Baby, why are you doing this? Baby, please...this isn't the answer. You're worth so much more. I'm so sorry for not knowing. I'm one man, I can only do so much. I try to listen to you and respect your wishes but I also have to read between the lines. I'm so sorry. I'm going to do my best to help now...I won't go along and condone this any further. I'll be there for you but I won't support it. I'll outwardly disagree. I'll tell you there are other ways. I'll tell you there is another answer, but I won't push you away. Maybe this isn't going to take as much work as I thought...I did always have a tendency to overestimate things and imagine worst case scenarios. I just want what's best for you. I just want to see you live free with nothing holding you back, and I want to be by your side while you do it.

You really are such a valuable girl...no wonder I fell in love with you.

>>17238090
Best letter ever written.

>>17238090
Sorry it look me to lose you to realize this.

>>17231237
O?

A

i wish neither of us was depressed, and i like you alot, I also want to have sex with you, and im pretty non-sexual, so that says alot. i hope we date, but if we did, i hope you dont get fat or gain any more weight because you'd become very unattractive to me, and right now, i think you could stand to lose like 20lbs anyway, but, anyway, i want to tell you about the tranny thing, but if you don't NEED to know, i really shouldn't spill the beans, and you dont need to know, but I want it to be a need, and i also wish you would ask me how i'm doing, but i really just wish someone that i like would give a shit about me in general, since i'm just not gonna talk about things unprompted.
you taste nice, please i want to hang out and makeout again asap quit being a wet blanket

-a

>>17238840
A A?

D

Well it looks like I'm here again. With you. I don't know why we have to see each other so often and it bothers me that I'm all too familiar of this. I'm just so tired of seeing you, and I don't know what to do. Maybe I can just accept that I'll never truly be happy, and I'm being fake when I say I am. I hope things will turn around one day.

O

Thank you for today. I had a good time with you. But I might have to back up. If you're not looking for anything right now, I don't think it's wise to hang out a lot. I love talking to you and spending time one on one, but not if all it'll do is put me in the zone.

Although I'm very curious about what you wrote. Maybe one day I'll ask about it.

O,

Sometimes I think about you and hope that you are living a fulfilling life and have recovered from your pain. You helped me with my own pain, sappy as that sounds. No matter how fucked up I may be you helped me, even if you didn't think you were doing anything out of the ordinary you helped me to feel better when I was feeling crushed and worthless. I wonder if you keep contact with the other people. I may never see them or you again, makes me intensely sad. Be safe and healthy.

can I kiss you again now-
like you kissed me?
I feel I need to
only if you'd also like me to, of course

T JUST TALK TO ME END MY SUFFERING DO YOU LIKE ME OR NOT

J YOU'RE A COOL FRIEND I WISH WE WERE CHILL WITH EACHOTHER

S,
I was thinking a lot about you in the past few months. I fucking hate you. Stupid bitch.
L.

A

I don't understand why you always pop up in my head. Its been three years. Oh well, eventually it'll have been 10 and maybe then you'll leave my mind.

C

B,
You were my best friend. I miss that. We clicked from day "a" and snapped on day "z". I want to say sorry for being broken; but i'm not. I am sorry I didn't go for the others because I held onto you just so I could hold onto something. Now I forget you're name sometimes for a split second. I hope the best for you inconsistantly. If our paths cross again though; I'll say (?). Time will tell, Life will show; death will grow.
T

>>17226179
I am R and i no longer like wine so no.

>>17239041
both of our names start with A
but yes, my last name also begins with an A

you are.....?

Would you please tell me why I can never be happy in any of my relationships?

What is it that I need to do?
Every single girl I've been with has been happier than I am. Why?

>>17239428
A R