Is it always a bad idea to get back together with ex?
My ex bf cheated on me (not physically, but he went online to look for people to have sex with but just never met with them, also he kind of tried to get his ex back twice during our first year together).
Well after I found out I gave him a chance on really strict conditions, like he had to go to therapy, I got all his passwords etc. He really changed. We tried working it out for six months but I was just getting more and more anxious and started having panic attacks and I had to break up with him.
Now it's been three months since we broke up and I miss him so much. I was with someone else during this time but I think I was just trying to get over the ex. He is a troubled person but I love him. It just felt so good to be with him (up until the cheating).
tl;dr always a bad idea to get back together with ex?
People will tell you it's a horrid idea and "hell never change", but you know him best. If you think he's legitimately changed and regrets what he did, then that'll do. Do what you think is right. If you think he's being totally honest with you, proceed.
>>17237418
always? no. in your case? maybe. people do change, but they don't change much in 3 months.
if you do get back together, give it a couple weeks to see how it's going, then sit down and have an honest discussion about how committed you both are to making things work this time around. if you're both extremely serious about the relationship, get into some couples counseling or some kind of support for struggling couples as soon as possible. if you're not both serious about the relationship, then most likely one or both of you won't be serious or diligent in your efforts to change.
remember that if you get back with him, you will also have work to do - on your anxiety, on learning to trust again, etc. it is very hard to be in a relationship with someone who no longer trusts you if you're doing your damndest to become a more trustworthy person.
tl;dr you can try it, but you both have to want to make some changes for the sake of the relationship.
You both are troubled people, it's time for your round of therapy.
>>17237462
Yeah I don't even know if it would work anymore. And if he has somebody new. I guess I just want to see him or something if he is willing to do that.
>>17237418
>Is it always a bad idea to get back together with ex?
Not always, but usually. There are two things that kake it particularly dangerous:
1) If things turn south again, you are now cemented in a pattern of behavior that makes it MUCH harder to escape.
2) You CANNOT tell ahead of time whether things are going to turn south. You're too close to the matter; too many cognitive distortions at play.
My advice is not to do it.I am sorry to hear that you're hurting, but it will pass, if you let it.
>>17237846
Yeah and I think I should just accept it that atm I still love him and he is very dear person to me but relationship with him wouldn't work.
