I've read it allot , "oh your family will miss you very much they will be devastated ". Is that really true? I feel if you aren't really important or kinda fall flat in comparison to past siblings, your family wouldnt care nearly as much.
>>17236805
They love you a lot more than you would think, death and separation really opens peoples eyes to how they really feel.
>>17236805
>kinda fall flat in comparison to past siblings
You mean if one of your siblings already committed suicide and then you commit suicide too, it won't stand out as much? Yeah, I can see that. But if you're the first or only one to kill yourself, your parents are going to still be devastated. It's pretty much going to give them the ultimate guilt trip, depending on your actions leading up to the act. One of my friends did that specifically to harm her parents and ultimately show them how badly they fucked her up. They were shitty people and pushed her too hard, so when she hanged herself.... well... it worked. They blamed themselves.
>>17236814
Your friend was an asshole.
I knew a guy who killed himself. His mother then fell into a deep depression that lasted several years. His father couldn't cope with the mental loss of his wife and the actual loss of his son, eventually snapped in his own way, leaving the mother in the middle of the night and basically fell off the face of the earth. At least he didn't have any siblings; that way the damage was mostly confined to his parents. They were good people. Sad.
>>17236805
OP, it depends on how much you have connected to your family.
>>17236814
What if your action up to it is diddling a little kid?...
>>17236835
I dunno. I mean and my dad rarely have any meaningful conversations but we live together. When I was little I used to hang out with my older sister all the time but now we don't really talk that much anymore . My mom cares about me way too much. Still when our family members have died I didn't really care.
>>17236837
They'll be ashamed of you and won't want to have conversations or remember you because you ruined someone's life. No one wants to be associated with a rapist.
>>17236824
She had a hard life. Her parents were abusive. She didn't see a way to get over her past, I guess. I can only say what I know from before it happened. It's not like I can ask her exactly what she wanted to achieve.
>>17236845
Exactly. So then you'll get to die in peace? Also they won't be upset really at all over your suicide.
>>17236853
Who would die in peace knowing they ruined someone's future (the child, obviously)?
>>17236853
>>17236858
I think both of you are missing the point of being dead: who the fuck cares if you die in peace or in pain - the point is you DIE and you'll no longer feel anything, so unless you're concerned about some sort of soul or afterlife type nonsense, it doesn't matter.
>>17236858
Well they would know people wouldnt mourn over them or have some stupid funeral because they'd be too embarrassed to.
>>17236862
Well I want to die, it's just I don't want to die in fear. It's not like I'm gonna go jump in lake erie and drop myself I'm terrified of water I don't want to die scared. Yeah being done with life and not existing sounds appealing .
>>17236866
Sorry, I can't identify with that. Funny thing is I'm terrified of water as well (particularly the ocean for some reason) but when I was suicidal, I specifically wanted to punish myself by dying in pain. Not necessarily in fear, but pain is sort of close, since either way it's a "bad", not-calm way to die. For me it wasn't even about the idea of not feeling anything again or being done with life.... it was because I didn't want to continue existing knowing I could never reach the most basic set of goals I wanted for myself in my life, and didn't want to live with that personal shame.
Sorry for rambling. I guess this is irrelevant to your situation. But if you don't want to die scared, you have to think about what you'd actually be in fear of. Would you be scared watching your blood drain from your body after slitting your wrists? Would you be prepared to watch your blood spurt across the room after cutting a major artery, even though it ensures you'd faint from bloodloss before dying and not suffer greater pain? Some people go for a gunshot because it's instant if you aim it the right way. In my opinion, pills are too risky because you could 1) get the dosage or mix wrong, or 2) someone finds you and takes you to get your stomach pumped afterwards.
The first issue happened with someone I know. He meant to take some sort of tranquilizer or sleeping med, can't remember which, along with whatever drug was going to actually kill him, but he didn't take enough of the tranq/sleeping meds and the vomitting that the second drug induced was enough to wake him up. Basically a really fucked up situation. One of his family members found him and he got his stomach pumped and there were a ton of medical complications that followed, I think for digestion or something. I don't really remember. Now that I think about it, I've known a lot of people who have attempted or successfully committed suicide..... yikes.
>>17236886
Actually I mean I want to stop existing cause like you said I cant complete basic goals or anything really. I'm horribly socially inept and on the top of all I'm a pedophile which is great.
>>17236805
Well, my grandpa commit suicide. This was when my dad was a boy though. The struggles I have seen my dad go through, man. No one ever wants to see their own father broken. My dad will cry at the mention of his father. There were some custody battles during the time my grandpa commit suicide. My dad was taken by police to his extremely abusive mother. In grandpa's note he wrote that his son (my dad) was being taken from him by a fucked up system and as much as he fought in court, nothing would happen. He was just too depressed to even think about the future, to just wait a few years until my dad was older and could be with him. It was really devastating.
On another side of the family, my grandpa's brother's daughter commit suicide. She was a mom of three children, and the eldest found her hanging when she was about 12 years old.
My maternal great grandmother commit suicide when she was already an old lady. But she was going senile, and was out of touch with reality. Before she died, she kept going on about how she couldn't see herself in the mirror anymore. My grandma (her daughter) was devastated as well.
Even though I was not directly in these scenarios, I cry over my grandpa often. I cry over my dad's pain. I cry over the thought of my dad never having a dad during crucial periods of his childhood. I cry that he had to live with his abusive mother who whipped his body with copper coils and she turned the other cheek when her brother would sexually abuse my dad.
My family was very fucked up. I cry over the loss of my grandpa the most. Because my dad needed him. I don't know why he chose to be so hopeless and kill himself. Life would be so different if only he stayed in my dad's life. My dad would have never been abused, never had to be a victim, I wouldn't have to see my dad cry anymore.
>>17236914
Do you mind me asking which country you are from?
>>17236914
I dont understand why someone would be that upset over their father.
>>17236920
usa
>>17236930
well, my dad is mostly hurt over the life that could have been. His mother was a literal psycho. His dad was extremely loving, hadbig plans for my dad to attend this private school and take up music since grandpa was a musician as well. My dad tends to overthink that all the bad things that happened with his mother would have never happened if his dad was still alive. Or at least, those things could have been repaired. He was 9 when he last saw his dad alive. His dad died when he was 11, and his mother told him that his dad didn't want him anymore and abandoned him. When he was about 15, he got in contact with his dad's side of the family, and only then did he find out how his dad passed. So for years he had the guilt of unknowingly hating his father because he thought he abandoned him. He didn't know his dad actually commit suicide.
I want to kill myself too but my mom and aunt really loves me and I don't want to see them suffer.
![[Vivid-Taku] Gochuumon wa Usagi Desu ka S2 - 04 [CFDF175C].mkv_snapshot_02.21_[2016.06.09_23.34.42].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/dNmfD1V.jpg "[Vivid-Taku] Gochuumon wa Usagi Desu ka S2 - 04 [CFDF175C].mkv_snapshot_02.21_[2016.06.09_23.34.42].jpg")
>>17236814
I've been thinking about doing the same thing.
Though anime has kept me alive. Those openings telling me not to kill myself must be working.
My father wouldn't probably feel any guilt anyway.
>>17236896
>I'm a pedophile
The parents blame themselves
My uncle killed himself about two weeks ago. The effect it has had on everyone is staggering. My dad, one of the strongest and most resolute people I know, is breaking down frequently. His daughter is a mess, and she admits she didn't even spend that much time with him and they had a contentious relationship. She keeps wondering if things would have been different if she had just listened to him more, and been more kind.
I've been in a total fog. It has completely derailed my life. I wonder to myself "will I give up hope one day?" How can I go on working, meeting girls, living life, when someone thought it was all so hard he'd rather be dead? I'm a fucking space cadet, all because he killed himself.
Don't do it anon, go get help.
>>17236805
It's true. No matter the person or previous relationship, when someone dies you feel personally responsible. With suicide it's ten times worse because you know deep down this feeling is right. When someone has a heart attack out of the blue, you can rationalise your guilt by saying there was no way you could have known. Nothing you could have done. When someone kills themselves, you cannot do that. You did fail. There was something you could have done.
It uniquely ruins people's lives.
One of my best friends committed suicide a month before we graduated high school five years ago. He had an older sister, but his parents were devastated regardless. I haven't seen them in years, but I don't imagine they've gotten over it because I haven't. I still have nightmares about it and certain things can make me in a panic (or "triggered" I guess) even all this time later. I don't think being a "suicide survivor" ever really leaves you.
Ultimately it was his choice, but I'm angry with him that he's not here and that he left in such a way that literally traumatized all his friends, family, and the unknown folks who had to recover him, identify him, etc. We're all selfish, I guess.
I would blame myself if someone close to me killed themself. The guilt would fuck me up big time.
>>17236805
>I feel if you aren't really important or kinda fall flat in comparison to past siblings, your family wouldnt care nearly as much.
This is intuitive, but in practice it doesn't really work out that way. It CAN affect the logistics of dealing with suicide, but the emotions, not so much. The mere fact of your suicide tends very strongly to overshadow details like implementation or favoritism.
>>17236837
>What if your action up to it is diddling a little kid?...
Then emotionally, what they're going through is not so different from if you'd already committed suicide: a little less finality, but more shame and self-blame. Suicide will round out the finality aspect, but the end result is that instead of decreasing their pain, on balance you've actually made it worse. And yet your suicide will STILL increase it.
You're not getting out of this, OP. Nobody does. Everyone thinks they will be the exception, and every last one of them is wrong.
my sister confessed me that she cuts herself
i would be broken if she dies
truly, it would be devastating the single thought of she departing from this world
besides of the feeling of emptiness and having a vacuous life, she is a role model to me, so it would be far too horrible
It's not true. Your family will feel guilty, because they *should* have cared about you, taken interest in you, and seen the red flags, but they didn't. They operate under the delusion that they are good, caring people. When you kill yourself you shatter that delusion, so that's why they resent you, and call suicide "selfish" when they are the selfish ones. The ones who want someone to continue suffering, day in and day out, so they can carry out their facade.
>>17237993
I wouldn't really care if my sister died.
>>17237997
>The ones who want someone to continue suffering, day in and day out, so they can carry out their facade.
The ones who want to help you find a real solution to your problems: one you can live with. Barring terminal illness or life in prison without the possibility of parole, "death is the only way out" is never correct.
>>17238045
Even with life in prison you can get out, just shank every nigga in the prison and run
Or start your own uprising
My moms friend killed herself when her son died like 2 hours later
>>17238045
>"death is the only way out" is never correct.
it's the only way out of life
