hello /adv/
I'm male, 31, I have decent looks but I lack the tools to "hit it off" with women.
I had an single relationship in my life, although I kissed 3 girls. All of them past my 25 y/o.
Anyway, I'm now looking for a stable relationship, and I've tried my luck with dating apps and sites: I tried the infamous tinder, along with happen, kickoff, etc. No luck from APPs.
I tried HARD using okcupid, and I got almost no responses. No real interest from them.
I had a few interactions and I had two dates with a girl from a dating site that forces women to contact men (men cannot message first). This one girl, happened to be like 50 KG heavier than adverticed. I still tried to give her a chance but it was futile (I didn't really like her).
A few other women messaged me, but they we're wives looking for adventure (No. I don't want that)...
- Is there a network that relies on Linkedin ? I've seen belinked, but it works on iphone only.
(Have you seen all those "douchebag parking" pictures of BMW and giant expensive cars? So, where I live, apple is SO expensive that --usually-- only wealthy douchbags can afford them.
FYI, I own a home, a cheap car, I have a minor degree and I work in technology. I don't look that bad (that's quite a bit, if you take into consideration my low self-esteem). I have good pictures (on vacation, with and without sunglasses, etc)
Have you ever been THERE ? What can you say that would help?
Also ask me if You think I can help You in a way.
What site was that that forces women to make first contact?
I would also say, if you haven't had luck online, stop trying online. I've always had better luck with doing recsports and hobbies meeting people than dating sites.
>>17234956
thanks for your input.
.
I'm afraid you're probably right, but it seems like I'm always looking for a shortcut.
I never did sports, I don't like to dance (It's really a bad idea. I hate those places and loud music). Hobbies, I was told this... problem is that I've tried that in the past. But, as I said, I can't reach the point that everyone seems able to reach where you exchange whatsapps or emails for a group project or homework (Be it a course, language, whatever).
What makes me mad, is that when I'm around friends and their girlfriends; or among coworkers, I'm usually funny and it's easy for me to make them laugh and chitchat. Now, when I am to introduce myself or "get things started", I'm usually cold as stone... -OR- maybe a little too tense.
About that site... well, I know they have mirrors for every country. I speak spanish
https://www.adoptauntio.es/ (spain)
https://www.adoptaunman.com/ (colombia)
You basically create a profile. You may browse women. When you like them, you can "poke" them (you may poke a limited ammount per day, but you can browse them all anytime). Any women (among poked ones or not) may contact you. If they want to message you, they must choose:
a. "you may contact me..."
b. "I'm interested in you"
One way or another, once they messaged you, you may message back.
>>17235028
> I speak spanish
Ya que hablas español te lo cuento así que me cuesta menos.
En Internet es poco probable que encuentres nada, al menos no en webs/apps de contactos; ya que esas páginas al fin y al cabo están hechas para ganar dinero y siendo hombre lo tienes imposible porque el 99% de los usuarios lo son también.
No es que sea imposible conocer gente por Internet de todas formas. Yo conocí a varias chicas jugando videojuegos online con las que acabé teniendo relaciones más o menos duraderas, pero a menos que quieras relaciones a distancia, las mudanzas siempre han acabado siendo un incordio en mi caso.
Lo que funciona al final siempre va a ser lo de los hobbies que ya te comentaron. Si no sabes cómo llegar a algo más cuando conoces gente puedes leer libros/blogs que ayudan mucho. Aunque al final siempre te van a decir lo mismo: practica, practica y vuelve a practicar. Una vez que hayas hablado con 300 chicas habrás conseguido más de un teléfono por muy autista que puedas parecer.
Tienes libros como The Game (es una novela autobiográfica, no ayuda mucho pero sirve de inspiración) o Day Bang (éste es de los que más me han ayudado a mí) y miles más por ahí que puedes leer para al menos tener alguna pista de cómo avanzar cuando te bloqueas o darte cuenta de qué es lo que estás haciendo mal.
Espero que tengas suerte y no te rindas.
PD: Deja de buscar el camino fácil ya que al final sólo conseguirás dar vueltas en círculos sin llegar nunca a nada. Por lo que has escrito no veo que tengas ningún problema de timidez serio, y eso es lo único que podría impedirte conseguir citas a muy corto plazo. Aunque los tuvieras se pueden superar.
>>17235261
Gracias!
>>17234930
I'm a year older than you and I think you should focus on other things than online dating and maybe focus less on dating in general. I've spent most of my adult life in a serious relationship and have tried dating aggressively both online and offline. Personally, I found that I met the best people organically, when I wasn't focused on dating. I really like the advice that "the only real dating advice is self improvement." Work on yourself and externalize your interests in a way to meet people. Maximize your return on social interactions by investing in people and making deep connections. The problem with online dating is it's terribly skewed and unbalanced. You have women on there having guy after handsome guy throwing themselves at them and they never get a chance to examine why they were single in the first place. Rather than fix their own flaws, since their dating pool is so large and varied they force the men on these sites to conform to some kind of moving target ideal. After I was burnt out on dating I just decided to try and make myself a complete person and now I find women seeking ME out, women who are emotionally secure and as straightforward as I am. The most stable relationships come from steady pillars, rather than two people trying to complete each other.
>>17235338
awesome. Thanks for sharing
>>17234930
Hey anon, I personally have had really good luck with the app Coffee Meets Bagel. It gives you one match a day (but it doesnt match people at the same time) and when both parties like each other you get to talk (much like tinder)
The only downside is that it took me like 2 months until i started getting matches but i usually get 1-2 a month and most of the people here are actually looking for a relationship.
Its given me more confidence since i've been going on a couple of dates a month and its pretty fun, although I haven't met someone that I would like to be with yet.
My next step is to just try to ask someone out that i meet somewhere in public, but that will take a lot of guts haha
>>17234930
No dating site is going to help you if you don't improve yourself first.
Get in better shape. Lean to dress /fa/.
If you have a higher than average income put it in your profile.
Yes, its shallow but so is your target audience.
Expect to have to go out with multiple women before you fuck one, fuck multiple women before you find one you around after the first fuck, and go through multiple ones of those before you find one good enough to date long term.
Your next step is not a relationship, your next step is getting laid.
