I grew up in a female-dominated divorced household where all of my relatives, including extended family, are girls. The family has a history of severe psychiatric problems, especially bipolar, and even before starting puberty I was repeatedly emasculated and humiliated.
However, unlike movies, I didn't become a deranged paraphilic psychopath because I'm too good-natured. What has ended up happening is that I'm extremely terrified of being in a personal relationship with women and of having sex in general, and being the only son in the family I'm feeling an extreme amount of pressure from my father to start dating now that I'm 22.
How am I supposed to learn how to not be afraid of girls so late in life, where everyone else has had a solid decade of real social situations over me? Not only that, how do I explain to a girl my fears without sounding like a weak failure?
22 isn't even that old yet.
You can still date a few 18 year olds who are late bloomers and experience a first relationship together. It's not until your 24 that dating 18 year olds gets creepy and the only girls available will be expecting a lot more experience.
>>17232205
I'm on your boat.
I have zero idea what to do, how to do it, except I came from a highly sheltered upbringing and it really hasnt prepared me
I think you're being hard on yourself. You call yourself a weak failure but it's not necessarily true, it's not necessarily how others will see it. However it is what they will think if that's how you describe it. The first step is to not put yourself down. You need to respect yourself before others can respect you. Don't describe yourself as weak, don't describe yourself as a failure, don't equate a lack of experience with an inferiority complex. Explain the situation fairly and let others decide for themselves if you are indeed a weak failure or if you are someone who wasn't given a fair chance in life.
>>17232246
Is it really that simple? Or are you setting me up for a practical joke?
>>17232267
Shit, he's onto us.
>>17232205
I'm here too. My dad grew up with for sisters so he bakes and acts like vanity Smurf. My mom is a hillbilly that watches NASCAR and Ohio state football.
They are both of the rails for different reasons and are the number one reason I am single. I don't want to introduce a girlfriend to them and definitely want some more boundaries established before I start dating.
>>17232205
If you were being emasculated that's one thing, but living with all women? You should be USED to women at this point, use that as an advantage
Hey OP, I grew up in a family full of men who treated women like garbage and had their own host of narcissistic problems. The only thing that really helped was therapy.
Go to therapy. It won't work immediately, but in the end, you'll feel a lot better.
>>17232205
You just need a positive female relationship in your life to show you their not so bad. Try getting a platonic female friend online. I would imagine friendly text based communication with somone far away would be a nice way to wean into getting comfortable with them.
Love comes when you least expect it lil bro. Don't chase it.
First of you have to work on yourself.
Focus on becoming the best person you possibly can and do the things you love. Forget about love, become the greatest -whatever it is you've always wanted to do.
By doing what you love, your chances of finding like-minded love is far greater.
Trust me here, you need to work on yourself before you can find love, learn to appreciate yourself, understand that someone deserves to have you just as much as you deserve to have someone else.
Ignore everyone. UNLESS they resonate with you. Do what you love, find a way to do what you love, stop making excuses. Challenges are your friends. You don't have to explain yourself to anybody, you are only here to live your truth.
When you are ready, an opportunity will arise and you will seize it!
Give in to your primal instincts as a man. Stop using reason.
You have been taught to hide your animalistic lust because you were raised in a bad environment. Take control and let your desires become reality.
This is a hard situation with an easy answer: don't date anyone like your family.
If your family is honestly bipolar/etc, then there are a shitload of women out there that aren't like this. If you ever run into any, you're actually in a much better position to judge whether they're crazy and you should be able to kick them to the fucking curb ASAP.
See, that's the thing - you can't choose your family, but you can choose who to date. Really there's no issue - the people who get trapped in these situations either have no choice (i.e. family) or they're confused because they've never experienced it before.
Me, I know what the warning signs are. Never again.
Thank you everyone who posted, this is good advice for me.
