I'm a slob. I'm 18 and moved in to student flats near the beginning of the year. I keep my mess contained to my room and am careful to leave shared areas neat.
Last night when I was trying to sleep, one of my flatmates opened my door and came in to my room, which I always find kind of rude, but put up with. We talked for a bit then she started threatening to take my stuff until I cleaned my room. In the end she took a small chocolate bar and a canister of sprinkles and said that I need to clean my room and leave it this way for a week before she will give them back. I told her no and she was like "Im stronger than you". When I tried to get help from another flatmate she was like "its for the best" and high fived the one that took my stuff. I tried again to get it back this morning and she yelled at me to get out of her room and the other flatmate once again said that it was a good thing.
I don't really give a shit about the chocolate, it's only like $2 worth of stuff, but I HATE this feeling. I have been upset all morning and crying, I'm getting a migraine as well. They don't understand and I don't want to go in to details, but autonomy over my own belongings and areas is VERY important to me.
I'm not going to be able to function until I get this back, but my final (major) assignment is due in 6 days and I'm already falling behind on the work I had planned to do this morning, I'm reaching hysteria at this point. I've locked myself in my room because it's so embarrassing.
What should I do?
And I'm aware that this isn't really right for this board, but I'm hella pissed off right now.
Someone told me I should tell an RA but it seems a bit drastic over a bit of chocolate, it's not her fault I have these issues.
fucking contact your landlord, threaten that you're going to file a complaint and this is serious.
Treat the SJW autists as they should be treated.
Personally, I'd clean up your room, see this a sign to rise and start living life properly, looking for a job, etc., and then isolate your asshole roommates and make them realise how much of degenerates they are
>>17231361
This. What she just did was fucking theft.
However, having your room in a huge mess is probably against the rules, so if you rat on her she'll probably rat on you, too. Clean up your room, then complain to the landlord or security. You could also call the police, but I think that's way too extreme.
> Someone told me I should tell an RA but it seems a bit drastic over a bit of chocolate, it's not her fault I have these issues.
Like you said, it's not about the chocolate. It's about her coming into your room and taking something that's yours.
>>17231373
It wasn't a huge mess, just papers and clothes on the floor. It was bad, but not bad enough to warrant that. I'd feel really rude if I told anyone who could do anything about it. I'm a spineless piece of crap so I still want to be friends with her, therefore I don't want to get her in trouble. I am stuck living here for the rest of the year, and she still thinks we are friends.
I was in there and watched her take it and kept telling her not to. Physical altercations are definitely against the rules though, and she is stronger than me so it would have been pointless. The blatant disrespect really pisses me off, since I go out of my way to be nice to her and the other flatmate. Like I know she is going to give it back eventually, and sometimes we joke that she acts like my mother (in a bad way, but she doesn't seem to clue in on that) but this is going too far, because in the end she is NOT my mother, and she is taking MY shit.
>>17231327
The first thing to try is talking to her. Try and catch her on her own and explain the problem to her, just like you explained it to us.
If that doesn't work, then you tell her what she's going to do. You don't have to be aggresive or threatening, just authoritative - as my old man would have said, "put your foot down with a firm hand" (lovley bloke my dad was, not very clever though). Put your manager's head on, "you're going to have to work late today" rather than "anyone who doesn't work overtime is getting knocked the fuck out".
To me it just honestly seems like she's trying to give you some sort of tough love. Obviously I don't know if the relationship is kind of passive aggressive (bullying etc) anyway but assuming you guys are friendly, it just sounds like she isn't doing it to be mean. Your reaction to it suggests that you're not in a great mental space, too, and I have sympathy for that. But honestly, I would play along IF this relationship is friendly like I said. If not then tell that ho to sit on a dick and ride it to hell.
But also I hope you're taking steps to get support for what to me seems like a very fragile mental state (your reaction being this massive to something so insignificant).
>>17231625
I don't know where to get support for it.
I think your comment is correct though.
>>17231327
call the fucking cops
theft is theft
>>17231407
So you're just going to be her bitch? If you're not okay with what she did you have to do something about it. Otherwise you're telling her that it's fine and she'll keep doing shit like this, if not worse. You can't just pretend you're not being bullied.
Besides threatening to rat on her and trying to get other flatmates on your side, I actually had a pretty good idea: Once she comes to give you back your chocolate, refuse it. Tell her to keep it, and don't extend your hand. Just let if fall to the ground or leave it on her door. That way she will understand that you're hurt over it.
