A question to older/more experienced anons, if there are any.
How long would it be wise to date someone before considering marriage? How about living together before marriage? Basically, how long and what stages of a relationship it would be good to "pass" before marrying someone?
>>17226681
I wouldn't call myself old, but experienced may apply.
Personally, I knew I wanted to marry my gf within days of meeting her (eventual outcome, not immediately.) I let her know, and she felt the same way (that eventually we should marry) and we have sat on the idea since then. At 2 years we started living together, and now at 8 years into the relationship we are revisiting the idea (first we want to save a little more, make sure we don't get into debt etc.)
In short, as long as you both want to marry, you can let each other know and sit on the idea until you feel you are ready. I'd suggest living together for a few years first to make sure you can tolerate each other in close proximity for an extended time, and then move onto marriage (and children, presumably.)
My girl and I have been dating for a few years now, and I'm still not all the way convinced she's the one for me.
But, ultimately I'm going to end up proposing in the next 2-3 years, and we'll get married another 3-6 years after that.
>>17226728
If you're not sure, why get married?
>>17226735
convenience.
Dating this long, and we get along fine overall.
I like to be comfortable, and she makes my life feel more complete.
And, if she ever left I'd probably just go 100% hermit mode and get those forever alone sex toys.
What's the point of marrying, are you trying to impress your parents?
>>17226681
I've been dating my girlfriend for about 5 years and we're not married, we moved in together really early on though, like after a few months. Maybe that gives you some kind of a measure. Marry someone when you're both ready to be married to one another, time is not a factor.
>>17226681
Dating? No set time, but you should be together for some important cycles... job changes, holidays, etc... so you can see how they react.
Living together? Absolutely. You really don't know a person until you've lived with them.
And sex. Have sex. Determine if you are sexually compatible.
>>17226681
You can marry someone straight away. It's a different type of relationship in which you have to put up with someone no matter what or who they are, and concurrently evolve aspects of your personality with them, aka "growing together". It has to be that way because personality isn't a static thing we can rely on. It is dynamic, and can evolve over time, and so the person you marry today might be good, but in 1 year she might lose a lot of maturity etc. For a marriage to survive a long time, you should both be reasonably stable in maturity and neediness. So if you want a dating period to assess those qualities, perhaps a year of living together should suffice?
>>17226813
Life long companionship is something to aspire for. Marriage is just a promise of it.
>>17226681
Since you made this thread you clearly aren't ready to marry her but if you do then about 2-4 years of dating
>>17226847
Frankly, I thought I'd marry her even before we started dating. It's been six months now and I'm pretty damn certain that she's the one I want to grow old with. Just wondering when it would be socially appropriate to do it, without getting called insane.
2-3 years is frequently recommended, but only you know what's best. I married after 1 year and so far we're doing a-OK.
It's 2016. Marriage is pointless.
>>17226891
since the question seems more about what other people think, I know 1 year might be considered short but whatever :)
