>I am planning on confessing to a girl I have not seen in person for more than a year.
I have known this girl for more than 5 years. We used to meet, go out for drinks, go on bike tours regularly, before she moved a way to pursue her studies.
One year ago, I moved into a town close to her.
All this time, we never had a chance to meet in person, because we have vastly different schedules.
Recently I skyped with her for the first time in ages and I noticed I much I had missed her in my life. Our mundane talks, our biking tours...all that came back to me. Just listening to her talk, just put a huge smile on my face.
This was not the first time I had thought about my feelings for her, but never acted on it because I thought that we wouldn't go well together.
>My friends and her sister seem to think otherwise.
Although I never was 'head-over-heels in love', my feelings for her have been nagging at the back of my mind for a while. She always stood out to me.
I doubt it would be a good idea to start a relationship across cities and different schedules and universities.
For me this confession is more of a way to vent my feelings, rather than aiming for a potential relationship.
Now I am just worried that my casual confession would be impolite or make her uneasy.
>Is it acceptable to 'confess' to a girl, while not necessarily aiming for a relationship?
>'We have not met in a long time and I have really missed you...maybe we could be more than friends...whatever you say, it is just something I wanted to tell you, something i don't want to regret no having told you' (not these words, but along these lines)
Please share your experiences and opinions.
Thanks.
>>17224247
I suppose it would be fine, so long as you don't make it cringy, I guess.
Just.. make sure it's the same person. A lot can happen in 5 years.
>>17224254
Thanks for the input.
The last time we met was about a year ago (not 5).
I planned to just go out to dinner with her, after spending some time with her. And when the time is good, just casually tell her.
>The last thing i want is to seem needy.
>Whatever she says, I just want to have said it - regret is worse than telling her
What worries me, is whether it is acceptable to 'casually tell somebody that you like them'.
Vent your feelings to a neutral third party, or write a letter and burn it. This isn't appropriate conversation. If you want a relationship you go about it by flirting with her and building interest until you get what you want. If you don't want a relationship you don't say a word of it. The ONLY time it's appropriate to confess like this is when you're cutting her out of your life to move on.
It will make her uneasy and damage your friendship. Unless she happens to already be interested in you as well secretly, in which case she'll want a relationship and be upset at you when you decline which will then damage your friendship.
I don't advise telling you you like her. Every time I've said that to someone, and I'm very honest about my feelings, very blunt... Every time I've said "I like you" to a boy I'd have to cut contact later because everything went to shit
It's much safer imo to never label yourself
>>17224319
>>17224328
I would not decline a relationship in any way. I would do what i could to make it work, should it be a 'yes'.
I am just aware that starting a 'semi-long distance' relationship is not very ideal.
Venting would not resolve anything, i have done so in the past.
When we skype, we can talk about insubstantial things for hour and hours on end.
>last time we talked about teeth.
Even when asking her why we were talking about something that banal, she would always say that she enjoyed talking like this.
All the years i have known her she never was the forward type. Which is why i want to give it a shot.
>>17224319
This. For god's sake, don't lose your marbles! Think and act rationally, don't just confess to her. You'll be making yourself vulnerable and you'll risk losing her as your friend. Obviously this person is very valuable to you, so don't act on emotions alone.
First of all, you need to decide what YOU want. Do you want a relationship or not? That needs to be clear in your mind before you do anything. What is your goal? Note that this doesn't mean you should make it your life's objective to be with her.
If you decide you do want to date her, do it properly. Talk to her more and ask her out on a date.
>>17224636
>what do you want?
Yes, a relationship is what i aim for.
If she declines, i don't think that it would be a great deal for me.
>Ask her on dates
In my experience, dates were always in order to get the person, their interests - their compatibility with you and vice versa.
Would we have to redo this entire dance, pretending as if we didn't know each other?
>Just to clarify
I did not intend to tell her that 'i love you from the bottom of my heart'. Just if we could be more than friends...
Any more opinions?
