I've failed over a semester's worth of college classes in total and just got done with my dad yelling at me about if I even capable of feeling embarassed or caring that I've fucked up this much, or if I'm just that dumb. I just wanted to say that he should give up and Im not worth the effort. I dont have any aspirations and just want to lie down and die at this point. How do I even fix myself?
>>17220421
You sound depressed and burned out. Maybe take a year off to work on yourself and reevaluate what you want in life?
>>17220421
Why did you fail at so many classes?
Studying more and better is probably a good start.
>>17220426
I already tried to take time off to just work and think about things, my parents completely refused to let me take a break. I'm almost supposed to be finished with college too. Its not happening.
>>17220436
I cant focus on anything in a class. Even if I take notes I still cant focus and sometimes sleep without even realizing it. For my math classes I even went and did all of my work with tutors there to explain everything since I wont understand it in class, and I'll still fuck it up five minutes later. I've always been really bad in school so failing assignments doesnt surprise me. On tests I blank out completely
I'm just stupid.
>>17220421
How far in are you into your course? Maybe switch to a different one if you don't like the current one. Also find out what you actually want out of life or you will definitely end up miserable
>>17220890
Does your college offer counselling and psychological services for student? Have you talked to them? Are you parents fully aware of your troubles?
Perhaps that isn't the right course for you. I think you need to talk with the student counselling, or any other professional in that area and go from there. Take it step by step.
>>17220970
I would have been almost through it if I didnt fail two courses. I dont know what I even want from life, I got put into college right after highschool and thats it, I didnt get a choice in the matter, and I've hated all of it.
>>17221004
I completely avoid talking about anything psychological with my parents. I cant randomly go and explain I think Im failure mentally and socially to them, I've never talked with anyone about any other low point in my life, its just something I cant do.
I went to the counselors, theyre not really the ones to help you with psychological issues, you just get recommended to some psychiatrist clinic with a few free visits. I used one visit months ago and nothing came of it so I never went back.
>>17221450
The thing about psychologists is that they are like medication. You may have to try several before you find one that works for you.
Also, a few visits may not be enough to see any changes, especially if your parents are still making your home enemy territory.
It sounds like you have a lot of stress in your life, interfering with your sleep and with your classes. If I had to guess, your parents don't let you have a job, and are paying for your tuition, making you take about 18 credit hours or something. Unfortunately, that doesn't leave a lot of room for action.
You should start gathering things like your social security card, birth certificate, a cheap cellphone, and such. It may come down to you leaving them, and trying to live somewhere else. It won't be easy, especially at the beginning. But it sounds like your parents are abusive, controlling, and unwilling to listen. That's the sort of bad situation that might not end for decades.
>>17221450
>I didnt get a choice in the matter
Combined with your other statements in this thread it sounds like you've got some overly controlling parents. When you are forced to do things, chances are you will never really enjoy them. Having had some very controlling parents myself things got so much better once I got some distance between myself and them. It might be good if you tried to be more independent of yours as well. I'm not saying that it will definitely be the right choice for you, but just something to consider. As a presumably 20 something year old person it really isn't healthy to still be bossed around by your parents. It would be really good if you found something that you wanted to do for yourself, rather than being pushed into it by your dad or whomever else. If you don't make these decisions now you will have a much harder time making them later on in life.
>>17220421
Going into college (MechE) I was in hindsight immature and clueless. I passed my first year with ok grades but with suicidal thoughts that eventually spiraled out of control the following year into psychotic depression. I only wanted to die at that point, the toxic "failure is not an option" mindset certainly didn't help. It took me another three years to pass my 2nd year, but first I had to fix myself.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is failing is ok. Not everyone succeeds on first try, and it's certainly not worth killing yourself over, no matter how trapped and worthless you feel.
>>17220890
>I cant focus on anything in a class. Even if I take notes I still cant focus and sometimes sleep without even realizing it.
>On tests I blank out completely
That happened to me when I started failing. I'd advise eating healthy + sport + quality sleep. These make a massive difference.
Sport / exercise taught me discipline (very important) and really improved how I feel physically and psychologically.
