I'm honestly not sure if this is the place, but I need to get some other perspectives. This is gonna be messy but whatever, I'm a mess so it fits with the theme.
I turned thirty two months ago, and the past two months have been beyond depressing.
I have no degree, no friends, and a completely unreliable family of normies.
I'm a big guy, barrel chested strong-man type and I'm about 50 pounds overweight. I've been told many times if I lost all the fat I'd be pretty damn hot. I'm pretty damn smart with an IQ of 137 last I checked. I'm super fucking charming, very funny, and people seem to like me automatically.
Even now, girls are attracted to me, and I mean fuckin' hot girls. They literally approach me, get all flirty, and then I scare them away or ignore them, or I just straight up run away. Fuck. I turn into a mess of gibberish so even when neither party runs away I just fuck it all up and get unbelievably nervous.
>>17220241
Problem is this
Since I was 14 allI have done is smoke pot,play videogames, and jerk off to porn. From 14-28 that was all I did. I wasn't employed, I had zero friends, and, ready for it? I lived in my mothers unfinished basement. I also had no father figure growing up.
Two years ago I got a decent job making 15 bucks an hour and finally got a place of my own. I lost over 100 pounds, made friends, was literally the alpha of the group. Yeah, this loser right here was the popular kid of the popular kids. I eventually started hating them all, not sure why, and pushed everyone away. I don't even make eye contact with these people at work anymore I just walk on by.
I hate them. Or I just hate myself so fucking much I only think I hate them. Which is probably more accurate.
So I've spent the past year spiraling into severe depression. The past two months have been almost unbearable. I want to cry all the time, I sleep all the time, and I genuinely want to get off this ride a la blowing my brains out. I'm not sure if the super depression is since I just hit 30 and I'm a fucking loser or becasue I also recently stopped wankingto porn, smoking pot, and playing vidya. I can't deal with this too much longer. I'm back in my mom's and I can see the dissapointement in her eyes.
I don't know what to do. I mean, I want to end it, but it would destroy my family. I won't kill myself for that reason, really I won't, but holy fucking shit I want to die.
Halp.
/crazyrant
Oh, also a virgin.
So, yeah.
How do you have iq of 137 in an age of 30 and still ask strangers on the internet about your life?
>seriously, dude, do you put your brain in use at work, a smart guy with no degree
>you have 10 out of 10 for self-esteem tho
Idk, try not to get so worked up about social interactions, imagine something calm.
>>17220256
I have zero self esteem.
None, I hate myself.
I have always hated myself even as a kid.
Try to talk to a professional , this should help with the depression , but with the other things you can be the alpha easily ,and without depression you could like that
>>17220241
I'm sorry OP, but you definitely have an inflated self-image. Get real. All I can read from your post is you making excuses as to why you are a loser. Stop doing that. It's pathetic and doesn't help you in the least bit. Your life isn't going to turn around by itself because you have an IQ of 137. You need to stop sabotaging yourself and actually realize you have a limited amount of time here on earth. Do something. Get rid off the fat, start exercising, get a degree. Whatever, as long as it's something that helps you out of this rut. Good luck.
>>17220241
How was the IQ test? I've always wanted to take it.
>>17220275
>I have zero self esteem.
>>17220241
> I've been told many times if I lost all the fat I'd be pretty damn hot
>I'm pretty damn smart with an IQ of 137 last I checked.
>I'm super fucking charming, very funny, and people seem to like me automatically.
>girls are attracted to me, and I mean fuckin' hot girls.
You sound like my ideal. Pics?
