Hey /adv/, I seem to have some abandonment issues.
When I was a child my father left for awhile to work in another city. My mother was neglectful, and when I was around 9 my parents divorced.
After some time I was taken away from my father and sent to live with an uncle on my mother's side. My uncle was as neglectful as my mother, he didn't seem to even want me living with him.
I started to isolate myself from society.
After some more time I was sent away to a group home where I was heavily supervised, and went through some sort of psychological conditioning.
They had a system to "correct" certain behaviors. After a few years they let me go live with my father.
I dropped out of high school, and I've been neet for a few years.
I feel like I lost something, I feel lonely and numb all the time.
bump
>>17220214
I live in the same city as my immediate family, Parents have been happily married for 40+ years and my brothers went to the same schools as me. I feel like I don't really know my family either. I have nothing in common with any of my brothers, we never really played together growing up, Talking to all but one of them is always awkward. I've had issues with my identity most of my life plus annoying personality traits that I can trace back to a singular event in the second grade My parents didn't even know what religion I was until last month. They assume they know me, but it's not from having watched my actions or having spoken to me all my life. I see them all once a fortnight or so, so it's not like we never see one another.
Point I'm trying to make is that having family around you while growing up isn't a guarantee that your life wouldn't be just as fucked up as it is now. Maybe you'd be even more fucked up if they were around. You might even be dead.
So yeah.. make the most of what you have now and use it to make a better future for yourself.
>>17220279
Hey thanks for the reply,
Yes things could definitely be worse. I've learned to accept my situation, but I'm really concerned with the behaviors that I've developed as a result of my past. I had to heavily change my behavior. I compulsively put other's needs and desires ahead of my own. I feel like I'm neet because I can't break free from the programming I received at the group home.
>>17220340
>I compulsively put other's needs and desires ahead of my own.
I'm this guy >>17220279
Don't you think it's strange that I have exactly the same personality trait, yet my family has been with me all my life?
I've been totally selfless many times in the past and have had VERY close friends who took what I offered and went behind me back to the point where I was at risk of financial and legal trouble.
There are assholes out there that will take advantage of generous people.
And there are people with dignity and integrity as well. You'll only learn by life experience who and in what situation to give your help to.
Out of curiosity, do you do it to seek validation and acceptance from these people?
>>17220445
Yes, it's one of the habits I picked up at the group home. I had to seek their validation and acceptance just to leave that place, and now it's a habit that controls my life.
>>17220632
Fuck.. That's horrible man.. I'm sorry to hear it.
At least you know what the source is.
How long has it been since you left that place?
>>17220694
It's been like 8 years, I have been pretty isolated the whole time. I've been making some progress lately, but I'm still not where I want to be.
>>17220701
Time bro.. Give it time. Keep seeing every day as an improvement and it will eventually clear out. Just have to be mindful of it.
All the best.
>>17220732
Thanks a lot man I really appreciate the advice.
