Has anyone here ever dated someone with Borderline Personality Disorder? How did it go? How did you deal with the outburts, clinginess etc.?
I just got out of a relationship with someone with BPD. To say it was stressful was putting it lightly. But at the same time it can be addicting because when they are in a good mood they make you feel like the king of the world. I tried to justify it by saying the bad times were worth it for the good times, but in the end it was too mentally taxing. Now I'm emotionally exhausted and probably won't be dating for a few months.
>>17216874
My ex said her doctors wanted to diagnose her wih it just before she ended it with me.
I don't think she had it, but she had traits in common for sure. The good times were worth the bad times. I feel you on not dating for a while though.
Dated a girl with diagnosed bpd for 2.5 years. At a certain point you start feeling like you have a mental illness as well. The good times were so extreme, constant compliments, feeling like I was the best person in the world, literally being put up on a pedestal. But the bad times. Shit. Nothing I ever did was good enough. I would wake up to her calls at 3 am on worknights because someone on the internet said something mean and she was having a panic attack. Her problems were ALWAYS worse and more important than mine. She made me break down sobbing once on my birthday because she "had a bad day at work" and why wasn't I being more considerate? Not to mention her threatening to commit suicide the couple of times I did try to break up with her.
I've been out of that relationship for over a year, but I'm still pretty fucked up over it. It was so exhausting, like constantly walking around on eggshells. The bpd diagnosis basically gives people leeway to be abusive partners, but you're a bad person if you say anything because "muh mental illness, I can't help it!"
Would never, ever do it again, no matter how good the highs were.
>>17216874
>probably won't be dating for a few months
oh man
its been almost a year for me and every time i even think briefly about it i nope so incredibly hard. the thought of being in a relationship or anything that is not strictly physical repulses me. im not currently nor was i ever upset about the breakup, it was my idea and im happy as hell that it happened. but im still disappointed in myself for even being in that situation for 10 minutes, let alone 2+ years. i have no advice for you, anon. i just hope you have an easier go of it than i did.
Yup, for 3 years. Biggest mistake of my fucking life. Wish I was joking. If a borderline person wants to be with you, tell them to fuck right off.
I dated one for 4
Fucking run the opposite way, they're fucking insane.
Never, ever do it.
Convinced my ex I had BPD to scare him off because he kinda sucked in general as a person. Worked like a charm. Had a friend with it who suicided. Would not recommend.
Dated one for 5 or 6 months. Basically blamed me for everything the entire relationship, manipulated me into thinking everything was my fault, argued about everything, but would freak out if I suggested we break up. Funnily enough she ended up breaking it off with me and finding another victim less than a week later. Poor guy has no idea what he's getting into.
>>17216874
No, but my best friend has it, and she's been in and out of relationships for the last few years. When things are good, they're amazing. She's talking about how this guy is the greatest thing that's ever happened to her, she loves him more than living, he's her oxygen, she can't get enough of him, etc. Bad times are mostly just talked about in past tense, since she's so impulsive, and followed by a lot of secretive guilt (she'll show she's guilty in front of me, but will be angry in front of her boyfriend). Lots of self hate. Lots of wanting to die. Tried to kill herself with her boyfriend moved across the country, but me and another friend got her to the hospital and she only broke a few bones. Love makes her go batshit. Her relationships don't last liberty than two years, if she's doing good. It's pretty intense.
You know someone is borderline when you want to punch the shit out of them.
Why put yourself through that? Shes THAT hot?
Try to come out of it as a better person. You now have new coping mechanisms for dealing with shitty situations. Like you said, the good times are SO good, so try to remember the attitude and self esteem you had during those periods and learn to use it at all times. Sometimes when I'm struggling, I remember how I felt like I could conquer the world and it reinvigorates me. If I felt that way with a huge toxic leech next to me, then I can certainly feel that way now. You know what I mean?
Also don't be afraid of therapists. BPD people suck the life force out of the people they're close to. Don't let the shit tornado get to you long term.
Hope you destress, relax, and re-energize soon OP. Sending you love and luck.
At first it was great. I could literally do nothing wrong. I remember thinking to myself "Jesus, I don't deserve this, this girl worships the ground I walk on." After awhile who she really was started to come out. Tiny things I'd do would upset her. It was like she built up this picture of me as a perfect person and anytime I did something she didn't like she would completely flip out. By the end I was basically walking on egg shells as to not set her off over some silly thing I'd do. Also she was extremely jealous and insecure and hated me interacting with other women. But apparently it was alright for her to talk to other men. Pretty sure she cheated on me while we were together but I have no proof to back it up. She'd always accuse me of doing things behind her back because I supposedly hated her, but when I brought up the fact that she spent more time with other guys than I do with my female friends she would get really quiet. Finally got away from that mess. She tried to guilt me back into talking to her so I had to block. 2/10 experience, would never try again
>>17218003
Yeah bpd deals in polarizations and black and white thinking.
>borderline
You mean a woman?
My fiance (3yr rs) was diagnosed BPD by a lpc. She got with my friend after the breakup and got pregnant a month later. She bad-mouthed me to a mutual friend and the friend says she and the new guy are a match made in heaven. Fucked up.
A year and a half later I'm cautious as fuck getting into anything new. Also she gave me herpes.
