What would you do if you knew someone liked you, and you liked them, but you knew there was no hope for it in the long term?
I think me and this girl could have like an amazing year or two dating, but at the point of getting serious it would fall apart. Shes to in to god and having a big family, im a science minded agnostic and want maybe one kid. We debate big topics and keep it civil, both of us seem to enjoy having our views challenged. Honestly we would be a good fit for each other, but we just want different things.
Is it such a horrible idea to date someone when you know there's an expiration date? What if you haven't had a date in 4 years?
>>17212131
Those two differences are the two biggest differences that make or break a relationship. They're incredibly serious, fundamental differences.
That being said, people change. You have no idea what you will want or who you will be in 5 years, let alone 10. Around that 8-10 year mark is when you should start thinking of ANY kids, multiple or just one. So chill. You might change your mind. She might change hers.
As for religion, if she doesn't give a shit that you're not religious and doesn't ask you to participate, then whatever. That's fine. My mom is not religious, my dad is hardcore Catholic. They do their own thing.
You're trying to plot out every step of a process that takes years to go anywhere. Stop it. Take it day by day. Have fun, love one another, see where it goes. If it ends in disaster, who cares? You tried. You enjoyed it while it lasted. No one is meant to leap and commit fully to the first person to come along in a long time. Date without goals. You'll be happier that way. After a few years, then it's time to set some goals for your relationship.
>>17212131
been there it doesn't work and one of you have to be the adult and call it what it is. It's sad. What about agreeing to be just friends?
>>17212131
id date her. are you really at a point where you want your next girfriend to be your last?
>>17212152
Idk, i guess my view on dating is you do it until you see a reason why you cant spend the rest of your life with the other person. If you cant see the person your dating being the person you spend your life with, then shouldn't you leave them and find a person who you can; even if in the present your happy. Do i have a messed up view of dating, because I'm starting to fear it will keep me single forever.
>>17212207
in my opinion, yes. everyones different, but you are asking for a commitment pretty much as soon as you see smoeone.
lets say you like big busty blond girls. but you also like short petite brown haired artsy types. but also ginger camping types. but also nerdy short haired types.
how are you supposed to know which TYPE you want to settle down wtih let alone which girl in particular?
something isnt beautiful because it lasts. how many people actually stay together forever? life isnt disney fairytales. its okay to break up. its okay to divorce. enjoy what you like now, and enjoy something you might like eve nmore later.
>>17212171
Well that's what we are now, but there are some things I've noticed. She only tries to hang out when shes single, and she suggests weirdly romantic things for us to do. Also last time they were single they flat out asked a common friend "how do i get him to ask me out". We have plans to hang out next week and im pretty sure im going to have to address the elephant in the room so to speak. Just trying to figure out if i want to roll with it and see what happens or stop it in its tracks.
>>17212193
Always kind of been that way, dont see a reason to bond with someone who things wont last with. I had a lot of people come and go from my life and its kind of fucked me up.
>>17212250
>ive had a lot of people come and go from my life
>which somehow made me think relationships should last forever
see the problem with this logic? and it hasnt fucked you up. you are in no way unique. people often reject or dump over stupid little things that wouldnt factor in for another ten years.
>>17212234
I don't what a commitment, i just want to know that if everything works out, one can be achieved at some point. The commitment is what im after, but im afraid of ending up with the wrong person, so im selective.
>>17212288
>i dont want a commitment
>i just want to know that there will be a commitment later
so you are asking for a commitment to a future commitment.
>>17212301
Wanting something to be possible is not the same as asking or expecting it. I just dont want it to be off the table.
>>17212325
when you go out on a date with a girl, the general assumption isnt 'WERE JUST GONNA FOOL AROUND A BIT, K?'
yes sometimes, sure, but you're worrying too much and putting a lot of emphasis on the wrong things.
the issue isnt that you want it to be possible. you opened this thread wtih 'I WANT OT BE IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP'
and girls can SMELL that mindset on ya.
>>17212131
Go for the short run. Not every romance has to last forever,and there is no reason not to enjoy each other's company for as long as you have.
