So I broke up with my boyfriend because he said he isn't as in love as he used to be in the beginning (whereas I love him more than ever) but he wouldn't break it off because he was afraid he wouldn't find someone as good as me.
This is the story of my life. I had it happen twice before: guy falls in love and when I fall head over heels as well, his feelings fade. I felt lucky those instances hadn't mounted to anything serious yet. But this time around, I was two years with my boyfriend.
So what is it about me? Am I too pretty, not pretty enough? Not interesting enough? Not funny enough? What do I do to break the curse? I really hoped this guy was the one. I'm very disappointed and obviously it won't help me trust guys since their interest always seems to fade after a while.
Either you're a headcase and you're a constant nag and it's been slowly striping him away.
Or you two didn't keep the relationship interesting, socially and sexually.
I'm sure if you sit down and think hard enough about your past relationships you'll find the correlation between their failures.
>>17208938
>guy falls in love
you have just made bad choices so far. next time don't go for the guy that falls quickly (or says they are in love but likely not) take your time, date casually, get to know them and they you before you commit.
>>17208938
Maybe the things that intrest you just arent intresting to the guys you meet?
The only reason i ever bother with women are:
A) is she aesthetically attractive
B) is the sexual chemistry there
C) is she good at, enthusiastic about, and willing to be sexual
D) does she pluck at my sympathetic heart strings
E) does she make me proud of her or proud to know her
F) can i have deep and/or engaging conversations with her
G) can i learn new things from her
H) does she keep me pushing myself to be better
I) can i confide in her my dark, crazy secrets
J) can i trust her to be on my side even if i am wrong
K) can i trust her to be brutally honest when i need it
L) can i trust her to be gentle with my emotions i only let her see
M) can i trust her to be a life long partner, through thick and thin
N) can i trust her to be a mother of my kids
O) can i trust her to be faithful
Sort of in that order. Once i get a Yes to the last part, she's wife.
>>17208938
Booo hoooo.
Twice. Ive fallen in love many more times than that. Stayed with a girl faithfully fornlong periods of time and in the end it all ment nothing to her.
Now i treat women like dogshit and they cry over me.
Fucked up work, stop dating chads.
>>17209142
He wasn't a chad. He was the typical 4Chan guy. I guess I should stop being the nice girl then and treat men like shit like you.
>>17209089
So it could never be his fault alone?
>>17209109
Yeah thank you. I guess it's just always a gamble.
>>17209132
I guess he got lost in J. But I can't make him "trust" me. It seems kind of arbitrary if he doesn't give me the chance to prove I deserve to be trusted. Faithfullness is obvious.
>>17208938
There is nothing wrong with you, its just that people are ever changing. This man was just a catalyst for the man who you are meant to end up with in the end. There are many lessons to be learned from past relationships, spend some time thinking about what you learned with this one. Things will get better, just focus on you right now and take care of yourself to raise your self esteem. Good luck!
>>17209175
How was your sex life?
>blablabla never his fault
Im sure he could have done better. But it happend to you twice so you are the constant (and all you could change at all)
>>17209178
Thank you! You too!
>>17209175
>But I can't make him "trust" me
Thats true. You have to earn that trust which means you have to be put to the test. And the most honest tests are pop quizes. What you do when you are caught off guard. You may have dailed a teat and not known it, what some people consider a big deal may not be to others.
Your word is also very important, if you say you are going to do something, do it, or explain why you didnt (and make up for it if it was big).
Communicate, dont be shadey.
Dont pry either, just be open to talking if there needs to be talking.
>>17209200
*bleh.
>dailed a teat
Failed a test i ment
>>17209178
>>17209191
Thats not how life works... If you want things to change you must do something.
Did he tell you that love thing by himself?
>>17209187
I second the sexlife question and give kudos to the rest
>>17209187
It was pretty good overall. Hands down I was better than him. I blew him all the time while he'd eat me out like once a month. I was super enthusiastic at first and tried different things out with him. But he didn't really contribute so I got bored and even anxious about sex. So our sex life definitely declined. We'd both orgasm each time tho and did it 1-3 times a week.
>>17209200
I honestly don't think he put that much thought to it.
>>17209206
What love thing? That he was losing his feelings? Yeah.
Honestly it's a "nice girls finish last" situation. Apparently he told his friends that I should do more things for myself than for him. He also told me I was too nice at some point so I started to hold back.
Honestly, guys want the perfect woman and here I am trying to be it yet guys seem to get stuck on seemingly nice but nasty girls. I should start to treat men like shit more.
>>17209211
1-3 is fine but if it declined and he didnt contribute maybe you should have told him?
Lesson learned for the next time?
>>17209219
We dont put thought into it, it comes intuitively to us.
>>17209232
I did tell him but that wasn't the question of the OP.
>>17209247
... Its because you are fucking dumb i guess
Its a fucking combination of things you mentioned. If you just sucked his dick 2 times a week its not good sex...
I guess you just go full retard and want to hang out every day and be part of aaall his stuff and lost your own life
>>17208938
You're fine, he's just immature and it started to show after two years.
>So every guy is immature so far?
Yes,
>>17209231
>I should start to treat men like shit more.
Don't
>>17209337
>generalizations
Nope.jpg
>>17209337
>>17209364
OP is kill
>So what is it about me? Am I too pretty, not pretty enough?
You've got issues bro. People can fall out of love, it doesn't mean they did anything wrong and it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You've gotta stop looking for someone to blame.
>>17208938
You did the right thing. You should be equally invested if you are to be in a serious relationship. Fear isn't a valid reason for not breaking up.. that's just bullshit.
As for the rest, no it isn't about you. It's the guy you met who turned out to be a complete retard for letting you go. His loss, not yours. I am sure that you will get over him quickly and move on, as long as you don't fall for the traps should he ever contact you again.
And he might, but not for any good reason. But because he either misses you (which isn't really a good reason to get back together, fuck him) or because he realizes he really needs you (which isn't a good reason either, fuck him).
Take your time. Work on yourself. Get to know yourself again. Feel the pain of the separation. It's okay to cry. Stay off the alcohol. Just focus on you, and you will be alright. You seem like a great girl from what I've read, and I wish you the best.
//someone who recently broke up with his girlfriend because of same reason
>>17209405
If you guys meet in 15 years you can be King and Queen of the thousands of cats both of you got
Your situation sounds familiar.
Hello, I'm the guy that breaks up with women who are too good for him. For me the reasoning has always been simple: the girl has low self-esteem and depressive episodes. When we first started dating, I lifted up her self esteem and took her outside to see nice things, so she seemed healthy for a while. Four years later, she's laying around, tired, unhappy, bringing me down with her. I can't look at her face anymore because she never smiles. Always a frown, crying at least once a month when the period rolls around and hormones get worse.
Usually I realize her baseline is an unhappy person a year in. Two years in, but once I'm committed I feel like I have to tough it out because I have a responsibility. My ex fiance strung me along for a year and a half with listlessness, inattention, and general self-absorption. She was always feeling bad, so every day she woke up and said to herself, "I love my partner, but today my needs are greater".
In two of my past relationships, the girl eventually got control of the sex life, shooting me down most of the time until I got used to turning to porn for satisfaction so I wouldn't bother my woman, but then on the rare occasions when the woman wants to have sex, I get berated if I'm not feeling up to it. This is about where the sex dies: when sex becomes associated with feelings of inadequacy, and then you can't perform because you know you'll be in trouble if you don't perform and it stresses you out.
If you are this woman, I am the guy you dated.
Fuck you. You're like a snake without venom. A constrictor gradually squeezing the life out of me day by day. I left you because you're killing me. Because your personality is essentially a pillow being held down over my face.
If this isn't you, then buck up. Women have more value than men and if you're beautiful you'll be dating again long before your ex is.
>>17209548
>>Women have more value than men
you lost me the senpai you were going so good
>>17209211
>he'd eat me out like once a month
If I was him I would have wanted to munch your vagina every single day, then again that's just me.
