Help me please
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Hey, I need some help
>Be me
>18 virgin
>gf is rape victim
>she's bi
>she had sex with one of her friends who's a girl
>also had sex with one of her boyfriends
Why am I having trouble to accept she's not a virgin I keep thinking she is to make myself happy but it hurts me deeply since she's been thru a lot same goes for me so that's why we got together but I really don't know what to do I'm getting hurt inside just thinking about the pain she went thru when she was raped and then someone having sex with her and she means a lot to me
Bang her in the ass.
>You'll thank me later.
>...and she'll thank you later.
>>17206808
Op here , I'm serious I'm falling into a depression that I don't want to get worse I might do something stupid please
You feel bad about two different things. One of these things is okay, the other is not. It would be a mistake to lump together that big ball of feelings. You should try to separate your feelings.
>Why am I having trouble to accept she's not a virgin
Because of social conditioning. We are pressured to think that the worth of a person is defined by sex, with girls being socially shunned for being sexually experiences while boys are socially shunned if they are not. It's stupid and you should try your best to not judge people based on how much sex they had.
>I'm getting hurt inside just thinking about the pain she went thru
This is a more valid concern. Remember that you're not responsible for her past. Be there to support her and don't dwell on it more than necessary.
>>17206823
Op here, I understand that sex is not what's it's worth , it just hurts me knowing something bad happened to her, I love this girl so much , the relationship is more important then sex but just thinking about it
>>17206847
Stop thinking about it. Remember that while what happened to her contributes to what she does in response to a situation, it does not define who she is. Once you have sex with her and it becomes a regular thing, you will find that her sexual past has an extremely low importance to her. This has an extremely positive effect on both of you when you bring her new experiences sexually.
You will find that you need to discover what you want sexually first. It will not be easy (took me almost three months and a great deal of frustration) for you, since you are a virgin and you will find that what you want in the bedroom and what porn you fap to (if you fap to porn) are two different things.
>>17206875
Op here, I really don't like porn since it's just sex but not actual making love so I mostly read books that have romance sex scenes
>>17206847
Remember that sex and your relationship are intertwined. The one has a direct effect on the other and vice versa.
There is a reason why you are placing so much importance on the fact that she has been with others before.
Remember that a man expresses his love for a woman through sex. Her being with someone else just means that she was given chance to reciprocate that love for another.
If your relationship is not a good one, she will enjoy sex much less. But you do love her. You being a virgin will of course have an impact because you do not know that side of yourself. There is much frustration ahead for both of you. But, once you get into finding out who you are sexually and expressing your love for your woman, you will find that there is a way for you to get over all that's happened to her (it'll help her as well). Until you are ready to take that step though, I recommend a set of activities (going to gym together, martial arts class like kickboxing, ballroom dancing) for both of you to distract yourself from these feelings and to bond better with your woman. It won't take the feeling away completely, but it will diminish it to a point where you would feel comfortable to want to have sex with her.
>>17206814
quit bein a whiny pussy
you'll either be able to get over each other's problems or you won't
>>17206806
The average age of virginity loss is 17.5, So, first of all, she is fairly normal. Second, with every passing year you are going to find it less and less likely that you'll meet virgin girls, so get used to it.
My current gf isn't a virgin, and it does bother me, but I am not a virgin and have sex with 11 woman compared to her 2. It's like anon said. The social norm is for woman not to ever have sex... It is up to you whether you let that ruin your love for her. I sure fuck would ger over it if I loved her. The trouble is the rape victim part. There is a certain degree of trauma that she will never be rid of because of that. But as long as you show her that you care for her it shouldn't be a problem. Just you'll have to live with being a virgin until she feels ready to let you become intimate with her. And honestly if it bothers you to the point of depression, you have a problem and should seek help. I suffer from clinical depression and through my life it's gotten much worse. But I sought out help and got better. You need to let it go man. If she loves you and you love her it shouldn't matter
