They're both equally as cruel, but I guess the 2nd option is less embarrassing for her. I say wait an additional month after the wedding to let shit die down and then break up with her assuming you haven't changed your mind.

>>17195314
general rule of thumb with breakups is, the sooner the better.

>>17195419 is right about the second option being less embarrassing for her, but if you've already made up your mind to break up with her, you're going to have to either fake still being in love with her and basically lie to her, or gradually withdraw and watch her get more frantic as she wonders what the fuck is going on and finally starts to suspect that you're not into the relationship anymore. And the wedding is going to be awkward as fuck for you when relatives ask you "so are you guys planning to get hitched?" (because it /will/ come up unless she only invites mutes and introverts)

I guess it comes down to what you can live with. But if you wait til after the wedding, you better come up with some kind of cover story like "yeah after that wedding I thought about what I really want and decided we aren't right for each other" or some other such thing. If you decide to be false in order to spare her feelings, go the extra mile and don't let on that you fell out of love with her months ago.

Why do you want to break up with her?

>>17195492
Been in a similar situation and chose the latter. Was not a fan.

Get it over with now.

>>17195514
Really? what happened?

>>17195506
I have no idea, it makes no sense. She's absolutely perfect, and exactly what I wanted in a partner. But now 3 years on, I've started to freak out about heading into my mid 20's, and I want to get out and experience more things. And for some reason I feel like that needs to be an independent growing up phase that I can't go through with another half to me. I'm feel horrible because our lives have basically become each other, so I feel like I'll temporarily ruin hers. But then I also think I need to get over myself and that she'll recover just fine and grow herself. I'm not sure which is more likely.

>>17195492
I have been doing that for about 3 months now, I feel terrible about it but just the thought of hurting her emotionally makes me die a little so I've been procrastinating. I know that's even more cruel but I'm a coward

When I broke up with my ex in November, my sister had a wdeeing I think in june or july... We went and I at this time I was still happy with her.

However when we broke up, she brought up the wedding.

I'd break up with her now desu.

>>17195586
I cried like a bitch when I broke up with my gf. Just get it done

>>17195314

>If I do it after, she'll be feeling all lovey and romantic about weddings and seeing me bond with the family. Which is less cruel?

this is totally unbased in any kind of scientific fact and is purely a figment of your imagination

if you break up with her now she'll have to make up a lie like you're not feeling good or some shit, women do this all time time it's as easy as blinking for them

if you break up with her after the wedding you'll be an even bigger asshole "oh so u waited all this time so we were living a lie all this time?" etc..

idk man, either way you'll have to deal with some female bs but oh well at least you don't have cancer right

>>17195586
What you choose to do is up to you. But you can still experience things with her and independently of her while you're in a relationship.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis
Same as a mid-life crisis, you can get through them without destroying relationships. If this is your only reason for wanting to break up and you're still happy with her I would strongly consider thinking over this before you make a rash decision you can't take back. People are very quick to throw away a good thing sometimes.

I'm very sorry you are in this situation, anon. I think previous anons are right, both situations are cruel because there simply is just never a right time to break up.

But I think that the second option is still the best.

I also waited to break up with my boyfriend until after the exams so he could focus on his studies. It sucks because it might feel you are lying to your partner (I did), but in the long run it will be the better option.

You can't stay with someone just because you have pitty for them.

>>17196146
>implying most women don't love weddings and get stupid over them
>bitches really do plan their weddings as little girls
>confirmed for virgin

>>17195314
anyone who isn't saying 'do it now' clearly doesn't have proper exp in this kind of sit

when you know it's over, breakup asap. there's nothing good from drawing it out. there's never a good time to breakup, pull off the plaster already

+ 2months is plenty of time for her to find a rebound cock

I agree that there is never a good time to break up but I don't agree that it 'do it now' is obviously the best option.

I have had experience in this myself and I must say that in this situation it is actually considerable to think about breaking up after the wedding.

Having to explain over and over again to your family and acquaintances what happened to your relationship and hearing things as ''where is your boyfriend at the wedding'', that just sucks when you are barely coping with the break up yourself.

also
>rebound cock
really....?

Why is a consensus so hard on this?