How do I beat such a deep-seated depression and lethargy that I hardly recognize it as such?
I mean really, I've tried just about everything that *I* can do myself, and the problem I see is that I know it has to come from within myself, but I need someone else to help bring it out.
...Somebody I can look up to, admire, aspire.
>>17194932
People who are happy have been happy their entire loves. Those people you see going out and being active are those who were in sports and clubs and had friends as children. They know how to socialize and live with other people who support each other because that's how they grew up; that's what's normal to them.
Think about how you grew up. Think about where you are in your life. You honestly think that, at this point, you're going to acquire traits and social skills that have been fostered in others since birth? No. There is no hope for you. Your life will not get better because you don't have the skills to make it better. You'll never have them. You're going to be apathetic and alone for the rest of your life. No one wants to help you, because you're not worth helping.
>>17194956
You just helped me though, you just gave me an insight I could have never seen in a million years by myself.
I'm not sure that helps completely, and I'd like other anons to reply, but thank you.
>>17194961
Kill yourself. No one will miss you.
>>17194967
I want to live.
If I don't crack my way out of this egg of depression or whatever it is, I'll die without ever living.
Therapy, medication, etc. Seeing a psychiatrist and therapist, OP?
>>17194956
Thanks for actually being a little realistic for once, it's better than the "MAN UP BRO" bullshit, but the conclusion is bullshit. People can change, and people can be strong alone.
>>17194972
>I want to live.
Good.
>>17194986
I've been wanting to see a psychiatrist for mood-stabilizing medication (just something small.. bad experience with medication in the past) and a therapist for the deep-seated psychological stuff.
>>17194956 basically hit the nail on the head though, I can't believe I never realized this.
>>17194996
Go see them.
>>>17194956 basically hit the nail on the head though, I can't believe I never realized this.
Only half, the first half. The therapist will help you understand that yeah, you've been set up for this forever, you never learned social skills, coping skills, etc like other people did.
But then they'll help you learn those skills.
That's kind of why they (and the psychiatrists) exist.
This shit is fixable in the vast majority of cases.
>>17195020
Therapists and psychiatrists cost money, and unfortunately because of aforementioned circumstances I live with my parents still.
My mother is a bit of a control freak and strongly objects to psychiatry now... Even though I'm the one who went through all the pain, she's too engrossed in her alternative medicine stuff.
Is this something I have to figure out on my own, or does anybody here have any idea?
Either way, at least I have some hope now, I can hardly believe it.
>>17195029
If you're in college, most colleges have free mental health resources for students. And what about your father? Not in the picture?
Otherwise, frankly you haven't given much information at all, you'll have to explain much more if you want specific advice.
>>17195074
Not in college, depression never really let me finish things so I never tried in the first place, I'm 20.
My father is here, but he works all the time and generally just doesn't care, if I asked him for the money he'd probably say no, and that I should just "man up" or something. When I was younger he used to be pretty abusive, mainly verbally, and sometimes physically, when I got bigger and started fighting back well... you get the idea.
I don't know how much info I can give you, I'm 20 with a depressing past with hardly any money, father used to be an abusive asshole, now he's timid and sarcastic, mother has tunnel-vision but genuinely wants to help me, I'm a general fuck-up, and now I know why because >>17194956 etc.
Is there anything else I can provide? I'm not very good at this sort of thing.
>>17195084
I should mention as an addendum to that post...
Entire family is depressed and lonely, my sister is starting to go down that path now too.
Fuck all of you. I wasn't trying to help or be insightful by posting >>17194956. I genuinely want OP to kill himself. Fucking do it.
Since my plan has been thwarted, though, I'll share another nugget of wisdom. I used to be just like this little bitch. I was bitter because everyone seemed to have a good upbringing and mine was terrible and lonely. My resentment would manifest itself without my control and I'd be off-putting to jist about everyone. Now people talk to me and call me a nice person. I come on 4chan (mostly this board) and just let out the absolute nastiest parts of my character. I come here and call women whores and encourage betas and nu-males to kill themselves. I lie, I antagonize, and one time i convinced a guy to make his gf get an abortion even though he wanted to keep it (he was having financial troubles, kek). Basically, letting out all of repressed anger on 4chan has made me a good person.
Now, if I've helped you at all you can repay the favor by killing yourself. And take your stupid whore of a mom with you . She's supposed to love and protect you, but the filthy bitch can't even do her job right. Worthless cunt.
>>17195158
I know this is 4chan and I should be calling you a fgt go kill you are self, but honestly... I feel a bit sorry for you, having that kind of deep-seated anger. It's a good thing this place lets you offload it though.
It's never really been anger for me, certainly bitter however. It's always been a deep-seated sadness and loneliness for me.
Mom's stupid, but I love her, even if she didn't love and protect me as much as I needed.
>>17195172
She feels guilty. She'd probably try to help you any way she could just to purge herself of the guilt. What would she do to get you the money for therapy? I want you to imagine your mom, with all of her fat rolls and liver spots, rolling around naked in a puddle of mud squealing like a pig with this look on her face as I laugh uncontrollably and throw crumpled up dollar bills at her while your dad just sits there drinking a beer.
>>17194932
I'm in the same position as you, OP.
My parents screwed me out of the idea of an adult life I've had since childhood, and I'd already been depressed prior to that. The past two years have eroded any remaining fight I had in me.
I know I'll always be lonely. I know I'll never find love. I'll die poor and alone after decades of hating that inevitability. I'd like to get help, but I don't trust psychiatrists (Bad experience with the first one I ever went to) and the stigma on being depressed is too great; I'd never want to go on record as being treated for it, as you get blacklisted from certain jobs/generally looked down upon, plus I can't afford it.
>>17195203
We'll bang, okay?
>>17195205
You have to start somewhere, anon.
I've been through the hell of psychiatry in the late 2000's, so I know what you're saying, but... I'm going to try again, and maybe, just maybe with some therapy I'll be able to stabilize myself.
If you can help it, do the same, it's better than always being miserable.
>>17195084
>>17195087
Move to a different country? There are some countries that have free/cheapish healthcare.
But reading through this thread I cant help but wonder how many of us are like this. I too am in this death spiral, of feeling depressed because of not being able to connect, and not being able to connect just fueling more depression. All these years on the internet really have fucked me up.
and then I look at all the people out there who have pets to replace children, who are behind social networks (also linked to depression) and I cant help but wonder if I really am that far behind them.
There are of course substantial amounts of social people who just get along fine in clubs, but its a little bit like that "The lobster" movie with me. I just cant consciously find any external reason to want to connect to anyone, even though some basic part of myself longs for it.
>>17195243
I don't think I can generate enough money to do something like move to a different country... USA sucks but it's all I have right now. I guess being in depressionville, MO doesn't help haha.
I don't know about you, but in my case the most important thing has been figuring out WHY I am like this, and, as you've seen throughout the thread, the one guy trying to fuck me over is the guy who helped. poetry or some shit
So, what's the most important thing to you?
>>17195256
It really is horrible isnt it? The whole world is going to shit, the economy is growing worse, racial tensions are increasing, jobs are disappearing.
In the past there probably would have been more governmental projects to help people like you. But right now its turning into a third world shithole. So try to imagine how one person inside a third world shithole will function, who has our problems.
It is not an exaggeration to say that that person is fucked.
Because even the nearly normally functioning families are struggling. But we, you and I have a harder struggle than any of them.
Just as money problems are a direct link to your ability to remain on this planet, so are our social problems also directly a link to that. Without them we wont be able to connect, to find jobs, to find partners. Its a pretty severe handycap.
As society goes further into shit, so too does altruism decrease, which is a racial mechanism that helps its dis-privileged in society.
So where do we find those who still have a lot of it? Religious people? Sects/cults? I believe that in the US, some importance is given by the religious dudes as a means of betterment. So perhaps look into that?
>>17195268
Yeah, everything has become shit, it's quite ugly... But that's why we have to be strong, even when we are the only ones willing to be.
I can't speak for all religion, but Christianity no longer helps the dis-priveleged, not white males at any rate. It's usually all PR these days. Pretty disgusting, right?
I started this thread feeling very bad, but now I feel like I can do something, even if it's small, that I can improve, that I can become strong, maybe I'm being too high-and-mighty but that's how I feel, the last piece of the puzzle that finally clicked in.
You'll have to do it yourself, anon, you can't rely on your family, your friends, society, religion, anybody. It's all you. It's all me.
>>17194932
Why don't you go to a therapist?
Are you male though? A lot of modern psychology is catered to women and women's needs so it might be hard to find the right treatment. Unlike what you seem to be looking for.
Just try to look for a male therapist.
>>17195290
It's all you. It's all me.
That's the attitude that got you into this situation in the first place, dipshit. A healthy social life isn't the reward, it's the fucking cure.
>>17195290
The problem with these ideas is that you are trying to deal with a mental system that is dependent on others. You cant simply just fix yourself if you desire it to be so. You have to go out there and find a group of people, or a place that allows you to learn. I imagine that those places would probably be quite rare at first, but as you level up, more and more of the world is unlocked.
When I first started this shit, I went into a bar far away from where I lived, so I could be like a retard and make mistakes without consequences. That helped me a little bit to get some good feelings from it, and from there on I moved on.
I can now go to bars alone without feeling bad. Though I dont do well if its a bar that has very few socializations between strangers. And sometimes my brooding and depressive nature still shows its ugly head and completely kills my social gainz. Its pretty horrible actually. But whatever.
>>17195297
Now that's something I did not know!
Thank you anon.
>>17195299
That's right, and to get there you have to be presentable. It's not your family, your friends, society, religion, or anybody else that's going to walk you out of your house and meet people, it's you.
>>17195304
see above
>>17195297
Really? I wonder if that has anything to do with both female therapists I've seen basically telling me there's nothing wrong with me and to quit wasting money on them.
>>17194932
Well for me music did the trick.
Still feel bummed out a lot.
Maybe you could try picking up a new hobby?
The only one you should look up to, is yourself mate.
