So, this is something I have been mulling over for quite some time. When I was a child, around 12-13 years old, I was informally diagnosed with Dyspraxia. (By informal I mean a professional diagnosed me through meetings at school, but there was no follow up or medical certificates to prove it beyond this.)
Having done some research now that I am older, and briefly reaching out to others with Dyspraxia, I am certain the diagnosis is correct. I fit essentially every hallmark of the disability, going all the way back to being an infant.
So I have a few things that have been bothering me a lot. First off, should I go and get rediagnosed now by a professional and get my certificate? I am not sure that I need it, but I feel like it would bring me a little peace of mind. Theres a slight problem though, I no longer live in my home country, so I would have no way to prove I was previously diagnosed, and getting diagnosed from scratch as an adult is much more difficult (as you learn how to unconsciously hide the symtoms as you age, even at 12 I was masking most of them so the diagnoses was slow.)
I am also unsure if my insurance covers elective tests like this, so it may be an expense I can't deal with for a while.
Next, I worry about having children. This is more of a moral struggle for me, so it might not be possible to answer. But Dyspraxia is hereditary in most cases, with it being passed down roughly 4x as often in males. After struggling through years of this disability (for a long time not realising I was different from everyone else), I find myself torn - I would love to have kids that are biologically mine (with my current girlfriend when we get married) but knowing what I went through, and knowing the high chance of passing those difficulties on (and not to mention my girlfriend was a premature baby, which I hear is also sometimes hereditary) I don't know if I have the right to have children if it might just bring them misery.
Cont.
Pt2
Lastly, a personal isssue that I am not sure I should stick my nose into or not... But my biological father (now dead, and good riddance, he was not a nice person for the most part) was probably the one who passed this onto me. Now I could care less about him, as I haven't seen him or anyone on that side of the family in years (mostly by choice.) But he got married after my mother left him, and according to an uncle, had two more sons. I warned the uncle that they might have Dyspraxia, and practically begged him to make sure they got tested, but I have had zero contact with any of them since that email. I have a gut feeling that they will have just ignored me, and I really do not relish the idea of contacting any of them (if I had my way, i'd never hear from any of them again,) but I feel responsible for making sure those two boys get tested (no matter who their father was they don't deserve to suffer in ignorance.) So should I force my way into their lives, potentially stir up a hornets nest, only to disappear later, or should I just abandon the idea, potentially leaving them ignorant of why their lives might suck worse than most?
Any insights to these problems would be much appreciated.
I guess a TL;DR might help here, so:
1) Should I get a formal diagnosis for a disability as an adult even if it might be more trouble that it's worth?
2) Is it morally wrong to risk screwing up a child by passing on my disability?
3) Should I butt into a family I basically don't know to try to get other people diagnosed for the disability I have?
Anyone?
>>17191897
This is some sad sob story, I understand. But don't you eve just stop and think that this dyspraxia issue may have been blown out of proportion by your overthrowing. I mean your uncle was right in ignoring your sorry ass coz there are bigger problems in this world. Autism and shit. From what I've read, this dyspraxia thing ain't even that deadly.
Deal with greater issues man. Solve world hunger and stuff.
>>17192075
I never said it was a huge issue. But it caused me a measure of pain that I would like to spare (or lessen) for others, if possible.
Of course autism is worse, and I have several relatives (a cousin and a distant aunt) that have downs syndrome. I'd like to believe that they would also try to help others with autism etc if they could.
If nothing else, having an explanation for the small little things that frustrate a person in similar shoes as my own does alleviate stress and worry, and help them cope.
I just don't know if that outweighs my barging in to a family that is not my own barring a loose blood tie. And in the same respect, is it worth worrying about for my own prospective children, especially if I am there to guide them?
I could just continue to ignore it all, but that isn't why I came looking for advice.
And at the least, my first question shouldn't be too hard to answer. Is there any real benefits to having a diagnoses on paper? Or is it just as likely to bite me in the ass?
