my dad is abusive but i have nowhere to go and im disabled so i can't get a job to become financially independent
what can I do
>>17191114
how disabled are we talking?
are you wheelchair bound or able to walk? how old are you too is important.
>>17191129
ita mental abd i realize thus sounds like im exaggerating by saying its a disability but it really isn't
i get panic attacks (what im calling them but im not really sure what they are) and completely shut around half the time I go outside
ill be unable to move or talk for up to an hour
ive needed someone ti call for help/call 911 around 5 times this month
i dropped out of school because i wasn't able to go without shutting down
the only job I can see my self getting is something 100% online where i never have to talk to another person but i don't think i enough money doing that, especially without a high school diploma
im already going to psychs and on meds but they have been helping
>>17191139
haven't been helping*
>>17191139
And you see no connection between the abuse and your behavior?
He makes you crazy and you make him crazy.
Move out.
>>17191146
i have nowhere to go
This is some sagely wildcard advice.
Scrounge together some cash. Buy a plane ticket. Fuck off.
Anywhere you like. Go on vacation. Just go. Leave all your hard to solve problems for easier ones.
Worry about logistics when you land. Go.
Trust me. You'll feel better if you leave everything behind. I know I did.
>>17191150
Are you sure?
>Codependency often feels like that.
>>17191153
i have a couple hundred dollars from bonds my grandma gave me but i don't see what i would do after i left for somewhere
i don't want to end up homeless
>>17191139
Try to do a job where you can stay inside.
Learn to code. It's predictable, and without the need to make quick decisions.
>>17191170
how long will that take
i know a little bit of programming but not enough to get paid for it
>>17191162
Talk to the social services department, e.g. welfare office, about food stamps and aid. Explain the situation with your father and see if they'll move you to a better living situation.
>>17191170
Coding is a good idea. Once you're on your own, you'll find interaction with others is more tolerable.
My sympathies regarding your family situation. I hope you find safety and peace.
>>17191139
can you explain the so called panic attacks you're having? what happens before you have them, what kind of thoughts or physical things do you think trigger them?
i personally suffer from seizures and epilepsy, and can suffer from a partial seizure that will leave me feeling 'out of it' and like i'm in a dream for hours.
however, that can also be a symptom of derealization which is a sign of high anxiety and stress; you're mentally detaching yourself from a stressful situation until your mind thinks it's safe to come back.
do you know what started things or when they first happened?
sorry for all the questions, but i feel like i might have some information i could share.
also, how exactly is your dad abusing you? is it mentally or physically?
>>17191226
ill get really nervous before it happens and then ill get kind of a weird feeling throughout my body im not sure how to describe it
ill still ne fully aware of everything but ill just be scared and cant move
ill shake a lot
sometimes ill start doing thing like ripping up paper without me realizing what im doing
if youve ever had sleep paralysis its sort if similar to that
like ill think about talking or moving but nothing actually happens
this has been happening since i was 11 or so but it didn't get really bad until i was 15 and it got a lot worse in the last year or so
my dad has hit me and pushed me a gew timws but never really hard at all its mostly
hell tell me how much he hates me and how he thinks im a loser beyond help ans makes fun of me for not going outside
i just qoke up with him standing over a couple hours ago, he goes in my room while im asleep a lot
hes broke down. my door. a few times after i tried to stay away from him in my room
sometimes hill threaten to quit his job so we don't have any money after I do. something he doesn't like
he does stuff to my mom too, sometimes shell try to leave the house and ahell stand in front of the driveway so she can't leavw
my mom says that hes tried to choke her with a power extension cord at least twice but ivw never seen any actual violence between them others than fighting for keys
i forgot to mention my sister has the same problems i do now and she hasn't gone to school since thanksgiving
>>17191256
sorry for all the typos idk if this is hard to read
>>17191199
also how do i contact social services /what do i say
OP you sound adorable. I would go to codeacademy, free coding website that may help. Definitely talk to any social services you have. Tell your mom and see if she helps.
This may sound crazy but try telling your dad you want to work. He may help you get a job, and then you can fuck off to a new home and self sustain without him in your life.
>>17191256
this is a lot to read so i apologize, but try to read it if you can.
you are under a lot of stress, and your body is responding in the only way it knows how. after a while, your body learns to handle any kind of stress in the same manner, and disconnects to avoid it.
if you're under 18 or whatever the underage is for where you're living, look up child crisis emergency numbers, there are hotline numbers you can call and they can give you more advice than any of us can.
either that, or if you're not sure what you're looking at, you can make a call to the police non-emergency number. depending on where you live you should be able to google the number and find it very easily.
after that you can explain your situation, tell them you need advice and tell them you don't know what your options are. ask them for help, get a pen and pencil ready to take down any information they give you.
i'm also going to tell you something very important, without any kind of evidence it will be hard to get yourself taken out of the situation, not because they don't want to help you but because of legal issues.
if possible, use your phone to record conversations with your dad. take videos whenever possible, get anything you can as proof of what he's doing to you.
verbal and emotional abuse can be just as or even more so traumatizing than physical abuse. so you're doing the right thing by asking for help, and there is help out there.
if you don't want to wait to get out of the situation you're in, start with making the phone calls like i mentioned.
http://nnedv.org/resources/coalitions.html
google 'coalitions' plus the name of your state and it will show you all abuse shelters and programs available to you in your state, which you'll be able to find and can then call the numbers to ask them for advice and more help.
>>17191306
what state are you in, i'll give you a list of all the numbers you'll need
>>17191481
new york
oh and im trans also so that might matter if im going to somewhere
also im 18
>>17191505
oh Christ this just got a lot more complicated. You also sound weirdly similar to my S.Os little sister who is trans.
I wish you all the luck OP
>>17191483
I don't know your exact location and won't ask so i won't be able to give you your areas specifics, but start with these numbers and they'll be able to help you find more information
pic related because it wouldn't let me post any numbers or links normally
>>17191505
a number for an lgbtq domestic shelter/hotline if you aren't able to get any help with the other ones i gave you
>>17191542
>>17191532
thank you
ok i know this is stupid but im really afraid of calling the numbers
>>17191139
>the only job I can see my self getting is something 100% online where i never have to talk to another person but i don't think i enough money doing that, especially without a high school diploma
Get streaming. FaZe Rain is a multimillionaire at 19 and he dropped out of school. FazE Adapt is a multimillionaire but barely scraped through highschool. FaZe Apex has a college degree - I don't know what it's in but probably not trickshoting - and he's "just" a "regular" millionaire, inspite of being so boring most people would kill themselves if trapped in an elevator with him rather than wait an hour for someone to get the doors open.
