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Keep your questions short for more answers.
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FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Old Thread: >>17174964
How do I become a ladies man
>>17178987
Why are girls so flaky
Don't even pretend that guys flake as much
>>17178993
>How do I become a ladies man
Step 1. Gain confidence
Step 2 Apply confidence
Step 3 ???
Step 4 Profit
For real though, the more foolproof method is to work on yourself til you have something worth being proud about, and the women (and people in general) will follow.
>>17178996
>Why are girls so flaky
>Don't even pretend that guys flake as much
1.) Yes they do... I have a friend in particular who's notorious for just not ever showing up to the point where you know if you ask him about anything and he says he's coming, there's only an at most 30% chance he might show up
2.) If you're taking about online dating, because safety/fear
3.) Some girls are coddled, just like some guys are too. For girls they get more flaky, for guys they get more arrogant and filled with entitlement.
My girlfriend is a little chubby. She was that way when I met her and she's basically the same, maybe a few more pounds. I have a problem though, and it's that she'll constantly bring up her diet or ask me questions if she's fat. Here's an example of something she said: "I think I'm gaining weight! It must be this new protein shake I'm taking!!" Okay, sure babe, you just have to measure amounts and count calories. "I ate three brownies today!"
That kind of shit confounds me, because what am I supposed to say? "Yeah babe, you should probably eat like less of someone who doesn't care about themselves." Not sure how to approach the situation.
For reference, I'm a guy who diets but I never throw it in her face. She tries to get on my case to eat "healthy" all the time, but I try to brush it off since I believe it to be hypocritical. I've lost weight since being in the relationship, and this is all after I've lost significant weight in life (260 at one point, I'm about 190 at 6' now).
Any help dealing with someone who doesn't feel cognitive dissonance?
I'm a 24-year-old female, and I've never been in a relationship. Do I still have a chance to find someone to possibly spend the rest of my life with, or should I just quit before I even started?
I used to struggle with my studies and mental health in the past, which is the reason why I chose to live alone. I thought it would be better to deal with my personal issues first before starting to look for a partner, but now I feel like I'm already too old. Am I doomed to live a lonely, loveless life and then just die alone?
>>17179058
You're not too old
Also people talk shit about personal issues too much, everybody has issues it just takes a normal down to earth person to see that
>>17179058
No. It really depends on two things. How good looking are you and how do you handle people. If you can work to look better and work to be more charismatic, you'll find success. You lack the experience of an average twenty four year old , so you'll need to work at it.
You should also just try to learn new things. You're still very young. Be who you want to be.
>>17179058
>I'm a 24-year-old female, and I've never been in a relationship. Do I still have a chance to find someone to possibly spend the rest of my life with, or should I just quit before I even started?
I'm a male, who was in a same position.
First date at 24. First relationship at 27.
Been with GF over a year, looking for a place to move in together in a few months when current lease experiences. Pretty happy atm.
It's never too late.
>>17179058
>24
>Worried that you'll be alone forever
Girl, you need to relax. Everybody moves at their own pace. Don't let friends, family, or soceity make you think that you HAVE to find someone in your twenties to be normal and functioning.
Also, don't let a relationship define who you are. You still have plenty of time to meet the right one. Just focus on yourself and on meeting people in general and it will happen naturally.
>>17179095
These things fall into place if they're meant to. If that's what she hit you with, then just be yourself and focus on others. Hit her up if you want to hang out or talk, otherwise try to meet other girls. She seems attracted to a dude who doesn't chase, but I wouldn't use that as reasoning not to chase. Just do you, she's a crush and you'll have a new one soon enough.
How much of a turn off is it for a guy to be a soon to be 23 year old kissless, handholdless virgin, who has zero experience with dealing with the opposite sex?
>>17179159
No problem man. And I'll be honest with you, my first girlfriend was like that. Basically got out of a relationship and didn't want one. We had made out and shit (late highschool) but didn't make it serious. I kept trying and we went out. I'd say that physical barrier is important and if it's not broken yet then try other people.
>>17179041
Bumping
>>17179169
I see. Well, I'll probably post again someday if things do/don't work out. Thanks again, and good luck to you as well with whatever may be going on in your life
(deleted my posts regarding it because I feel people I know browse this board as well)
>>17179162
Covered in the OP.
>>Would you date a virgin?
>Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
P.S. I'm actually the guy who wrote that bit, and was a 24 year old virgin.
How do I become a more interesting person so that guys will be willing to see me? I met a guy on tinder and met up after a few days. Things got physical but didn't go all the way, and I told him that I would like to continue where we left off. He hasn't really responded since then so it makes me wonder if I'm really so boring that even in offering sex a guy isn't interested in meeting up again. I'm not looking for a relation ship out of this guy but I would like to know for when I am looking for something more.
>crushing on girl i used to work with
>pretty close friends, text basically every day. always friendly
>she turned me down twice (asking on dates) but it didnt stop me from being friendly with her, going out to eat, movies, etc.
>one of her actual friends/current roomate during summer housing told me that she's crushing on some guy that's cyber popular in instagram (doesnt even live near us)
>told me that if i wanted to actually get her to notice me in that way, i would need to back off as a friend and let her realize how much i mean to her
is this good advice? i realize asking for advice on if other advice is good is kind of redudant but ya.
Reposting from old thread:
>>17177151
>and tries hard to keep the conversation going
How to do this?
I literally have no idea since i never learned how to have a normal conversation with a normal person (only friends with other sperg burglars as a kid) and spent the last 5+ years not speaking at all.
But now people (ie a lot of girls) want to talk to me and they all expect me to keep the conversation going and show interest in them and i don't know how.
eg in a conversation yesterday:
>Come on, ask me something, Anon! Please ask me a question, anything!
But i don't know any good questions.
How to keep conversations going? What do girls like to be asked?
>>17179162
fake it till you make it.
my current girlfriend has no idea i was a virgin until we fucked.
there definitely is a learning curve to sex though. like it takes time to develop the hip muscles and you learn to be "dominant" if that makes sense..atleast that's how it was for me. when i first had sex i was all "does this feel ok" now i'm "shut up and take it slut" and she likes it that way
dont be a god damn idiot and say "im a virgin herp derp" no one is gonna be like "i wanna take ur virginity teehee~" just say "Oh i lost it a long time ago" and then move on
>>17179058
>woman
>lonely
Your entire life from 16-30 is constant male attention just for existing, how do you fuck that up?
Make an online profile and get 30 messages A DAY
>tfw premature ejaculator and just avoid sex at this point
Girls, why do the villains like to kidnap you?
>>17179235
How long since you sent the message? Also, what are your hobbies and what do you usually talk to guys about?
Does eharmony work
I'm a guy, so I'm asking this to girls, but I guess guys and reply too
(I know it sounds retard because of thread's name, don't point it out)
Why so many people keeps for themselves they can't have childs?
No matter the way, no fertile, abortion, etc. . .All ways. Why people keeps that for themselves instead of putting out of the chest or something?
Guys
If you mention to a girl that you aren't much of a texting person however she likes to text, would it be annoying to get snapchats and messages from her? Maybe not every hour of the day, but once a day?
>>17179235
>How do I become a more interesting person so that guys will be willing to see me?
Same way it works everywhere else. Be someone that another person finds interesting as wants to spend time with.
You can't trick other people in to being interested in you (or you can.... but that doesn't ever end well or result in anything remotely healthy)
Work towards becoming the type of person you think is genuinely interesting and who you'd be proud to say you are. If you do that, you'll find that other people will gravitate towards and be interested in you.
>>17179279
>lonely frog/r9k rant
I swear the bullshit numbers keep growing
It used to be the /r9k/ spiel was 20 messages a day, in the last thread it was 25 posts (>>17178041). Now we're up to 30.
>>17179294
This will vary from guy to guy, but I could put up with once a day.
>>17179277
>no one is gonna be like "i wanna take ur virginity teehee~"
That is just not true.
>>17179306
Can sorta confirm. There was a femanon on this board that wanted to take my virginity. Sent me a timestamp and everything. I didn't go through with it because she lived in Europe.
She was so cool
>>17179294
>If you mention to a girl that you aren't much of a texting person however she likes to text, would it be annoying to get snapchats and messages from her? Maybe not every hour of the day, but once a day?
Nah.
I'm not much of a communication person at all. I have facebook/instagram/etc, but rarely use it. My best friend, in about a year I text her maybe less than 300 messages and most of those are things like, "Hey, drink after work?" or "I'm here".
My girlfriend though, in our first month of dating we probably traded close to 1,000 texts, and in 14 months have missed doing at least a good night text exactly twice.
>>17179298
Fuck off white knight. Men have to actively work to get a relationship, women have a bf on demand at all time.
what do i talk about with a girl? when we text we talk pretty much anything but in person i can't seem to bring up a good topic.
`>>17179315
REEEEEEEE
Very attractive. Obviously why you're such a ladies man.
>>17179314
I like showing the guy funny/interesting/random things but I don't want to be annoying. I don't expect any response since I know he isn't that type. I just hope he knows that.
>>17179287
I sent a message yesterday that he hasn't responded to and a snap today which he opened and didnt reply to so that's if for me reaching out.
Right now all my time is taken up by school and work, and I've tried taking up hobbies like running and yoga, but they aren't exactly topics that are super exciting to talk about. Usually I find that when I talk to anyone they do most of the talking, and when I try to contribute they either talk over me or just don't seem to care. Sometimes I talk and people look at me like I'm speaking another language so I find myself being a person of few words... I genuinely like listening to others speak, though. But people usually want someone to talk with, not talk at.
Sorry for such a long response, it's something I knew I've needed to work on but I was always ok with being overlooked until recently. Do you think a communications class or something would be useful?
>>17179041
Alright final bump since work is coming to a close.
What are girls opinions on open relationships?
>>17179313
Some girls definitely have a kink for it. Some value it emotionally/morally. Some like both aspects. There are definitely girls who are attracted to virginity as an ideal.
>>17179333
I don't want that at all
>>17179292
Am I allowed to bump? I'm very curious.
Also
I'm a guy, so I'm asking this to girls, but I guess guys and reply too
*guys can reply too
>>17179315
I bet it's your extensive experience with women that makes this advice not bullshit.
>>17179331
I felt the same way but realized that I'm so much better at asking questions. As a matter of fact sometimes I think I ask too many question for my own good. But it keeps the conversation going and gets you involved too. Not lame questions about the whether but genuine questions.
For example there's a guy I've been talking to lately. He is great at mechanic work so I usually ask questions around that subject. I have a boring kind of life so asking about others interests me.
>>17179298
>It used to be the /r9k/ spiel was 20 messages a day, in the last thread it was 25 posts (>>17178041 →). Now we're up to 30.
Our board was taken over by the normies.
Shit, had a "fembot" thread the other day, some girl complaining that she asked out a guy but got rejected.
Some other girl saying "This is why I never ask men out".
I post saying something along the lines of "Oh wow, you got rejected ONCE, and it wasn't even that bad. Did he roll his eyes and go "eww, creep"? Did he laugh in your face? Did he straight up tell you no one will ever like you? No, then you got no right to complain about a little harmless rejection. You weren't his type is all. Move on."
The old /r9k/ would have agreed with me... Bitches don't even treat men like human beings when they reject, always merciless going for the throat type shit, and then they come to the most mysognistic board full of the most hurt people to complain when they got a "sorry, you're just not my type" kinda rejection.
Instead, the new /r9k/ called me out as a sexist and said "It's your own fault for bein' a creep. Should have just been yourself".
Seriously, fuck that shit. /r9k/ is dead. Full of girls who saw lonely guys and only imagined lonely Chads or wanted attention, 12 year olds who wanted to be part of the new /b/ and make memes, and assholes just come to check out the losers.
You want to blame anyone for the breach of containment from our little containment board, blame those assholes. Now we migrating all over the place.
>>17179344
I legitimately have no clue what you're even asking, it reads like garbled words. Clarify?
>>17179347
It's called real life
R/forevealonewomen literally has a rule against asking out the female posters
>>17179333
Depends on the girl. I know a lot of girls who, if they don't outright look down on it, don't see it as something that is a long term thing. Others see is as degrading. Others I know admit that they aren't confident enough to go through with them and that their jealousy would get in the way. And I know some who would be completely ok with being in a poly relationship.
>>17179358
Sorry for my english, I will try to clarify.
Why people can't share "I can't have children*" like any other huge problems.
I mean, I know it must be very hurtful to not be able to have descendants, but everyone keeps it like a secret.
*Have children, you fuck, and the woman will wait 9 months and you will have a son
sorry if I sound like a dipshit, I just want to make it clear.
>>17179331
>Usually I find that when I talk to anyone they do most of the talking, and when I try to contribute they either talk over me or just don't seem to care.
People used to do this with me, but now they sit there with big puppy-dog eyes waiting for me to say something
>>17179353
>I'm so much better at asking questions. As a matter of fact sometimes I think I ask too many question for my own good.
can you help with >>17179269? This is a skill that can be learned, i hope...
>>17179333
It wasn't something for me until I met this friend. He helped me realize that whole relationship thing is kind of a waste. That relationships put so many restrictions and expectations. Friendships are so much closer and natural. It's hard to find someone with the same views and it was very hard for me (as a female) to accept such a view. But now I understand and find it so much more better than a relationship
>>17179364
I can't relate to it, but maybe it's hard to admit because as a female you're kind of obligated to birth a child. And if you can't maybe it's seen as... Shameful?
>>17179376
Yeah, I could understand this a few years ago, but right now it is hard me to believe your not-so-old relatives are you letting down because your body can't give them child.
Also, as a man?
>>17179364
Oh I see, no worries. Well, that's a really hard emotional issue for people. I'd expect my partner to be completely upfront in this regard though as the emotion goes both ways. Many find their need for children to be a core value, and someone being deceitful would be hurtful and relationship damaging. I personally can't imagine not being up front, as I know it'd come up eventually. Is this a problem you're currently facing?
>>17179386
>I could understand this a few years ago, but right now
the zeitgeist doesn't move that fast, you just spend too much time on the internet. your family will still be disappointed if you can't give them children..
To gurls:
When I use facebook if I see a pretty girl has given me a like in a comment, or maybe replied to me, something of the sort, I would go to her page and check out the photos. I try to look for photos that show her face, if there are, her body. I don't masturbate to them, I don't save them to my computer, and I don't send them messages. I just genuinely like to look at attractive women, sometimes I can look at a picture of a cute girl's face for a whole minute.
The question is, do you find this weird/creepy/awkward?
I'm not going to stop doing it, and I am not looking for validation here, but I am curious as to what a girl might think of that. Imagine you find out a stranger has been looking at your pics.
>>17179365
>>17179269
Yeah I am a question queen. You can start off with where are you from, what do you like to watch, etc but I find that boring. I like to get right into it. I ask about siblings, school, how they got interested in whatever it is they're passionate about. The more they open the more questions you can come up with. For example I started talking with someone new earlier this month. I ask him about how he got into building motors, I even compliment the fact that he can do something so complicated. I ask about where he's from and how he ended up where he's at now. I ask them to compare where they are now to where they grew up and what they like/dislike about it. It's fairly easy to ask small talk or conversation starter questions. Sometimes you have to toe that personal line too.
>>17179353
I do find myself asking a lot of questions, but sometimes others will turn them on me and I feel like my answers are always so disappointing. I was actually really interested in what this guy does for a living and he seemed really excited to talk about it, but sometimes he would ask me if I knew something and I felt terrible saying no each time. Then when he tried to turn the conversation and ask about me I could practically see him loosing interest lol
>>17179365
What's your secret?
>>17179388
>I'd expect my partner to be completely upfront in this regard though
I can't understand right this lane, but I guess it must be in agree with you either yes either no, right?
>Is this a problem you're currently facing?
No. Well, not at my age, but you made me think and my actual gf have very chances of having cancer, and maybe she will have her ovaries extirped to avoid that kind of cancer.
>>17179389
Well, I can understand that, but I can't understand they will let you down. I can think it like "I know you can't, but gtfo of my house, I only gave you life for giving me grandchildren"
Or maybe I think Europe is more advanced that really it is?
>>17179392
This is what I think about people liking/looking at pictures I have posted on social media
It's social fucking media. If I posted it, anyone is free game to look at it and even like it. It's on the Internet, billions of people can see it, so why get offended or weirded out when someone decides to admire a picture you posted? If you didn't want people looking at it or even masturbate to it, why post yourself?
>>17179404
I mean that I'd appreciate them telling me they can't have kids. As for your gf, that's something serious you'll have to face. There are paths to solve this though so I wouldn't be worried about it too much.
>>17179400
Honestly when they ask me questions, I answer. And I can care less what they think but that doesn't mean I don't try to make it as interesting as I can. I'm not a very exciting person, I don't have cool stories nor am I really that great at telling them. But if they ask I'll answer. However i am a very great listener and observer which is why I'm great at holding a conversation.
>>17179405
Also, do you ever do that with an attractive guy's pictures?
>>17179408
Yeah, I didn't asked because it is a problem. Is more because my gf showed my a link like "22 deepest and hurtfeul secrets" and stuff, that kind of article. But two of them was "I can't have children and I'm saying I don't want to". And I was wondering why people is not more open in that way, like "I don't know if you want children but I CAN'T".
I mean, there's lot of ways this days, even not fertile, you can try some shit, so it shouldn't be a problem trusting your partner and talking about it, right?
>>17179418
Ah I see. To be honest I wouldn't feel bad about that, if they're up front about not wanting kids. It's the same effect to me either way.
>>17179414
I creep on his page and look at pictures but I don't stare at them for long periods of times. I just see what they got posted.
>>17179393
Thanks, that'll be helpful.
>It's fairly easy to ask small talk or conversation starter questions.
I guess it's easier to learn these skills while growing up normally, it seems terribly difficult as an adult. Seems like we're all inhibited as hell now. Suppose i have a (bad) excuse since i literally don't know any of this stuff, but i thought i could at least rely on other people to keep conversations going and think of things to talk about, since they actually have had friends and know how to chat (at least in theory). But now that i'm trying to learn to socialize, everyone suddenly seems to be as awkward as me! So we sit there having minute-long pauses in conversation where we both stare at the ground and try to think of something to say.
Makes me wonder if i'm so awkward i give off some kind of powerful spaghetti-dropping aura that rubs off on others.
And people always seem to want to follow my lead in social situations despite my obvious cluelessness.
There's also the possibility that they're afraid of me somehow, but i'm a 5'7" awkward nerd with social anxiety issues so i don't think that's it.
I feel like commander Data, i just want some clear orders to follow. Yet instead they want me to be captain...
>>17179400
>What's your secret?
Did you really mean to quote me? If so: I wish i knew.
>>17179410
>i am a very great listener and observer which is why I'm great at holding a conversation.
This is the most frustrating part since it seems to have stopped working in college. Now people don't just let loose and chat for an hour about their hobby, they stop and wait for (or ask) me to say something, want to talk about me, and keep asking whether they're bothering me. I don't know how to get that background-character "vibe" back.
Or even how i got it in the first place.
Ladies
You broke his heart. You were young and dumb but he was a good guy for you.
Do you ever think about him?
Do you ever wonder what could have been?
Do you ever think about trying to talk to him again?
Do you still love him?
>>17179235
Are you ugly?
>>17179266
Well, if the current strategy isn't working...
>>17179058
Email me a voice sample, and I'll read your cards and/or scry the appearance of the dude you're looking for. [email protected]
>>17179041
Can anyone help with this one?
I'm not sure how to bring up the fact that she honestly should diet and take it seriously. She was once anorexic, but there's a level between eating nothing and eating like shit.
Is it worth writing erotic fiction about "not cheating" stories for women?
>>17179058
Male in the same situation. I always hope I'll meet someone else like you. Someone in the same situation as you, that way we're not holding it against each other or worrying about said lack of experience.
My point is don't fret, obviously there are people in similar situations out there you can meet. Besides, the same stigma that surrounds experience-less men doesn't really apply to women that much.
>>17179585
I'm not any kind of expert at social or relationship stuff, so keep in mind that my suggestion isn't necessarily wiser than anything you could come up with on your own. I think you have to be more honest with her.
She can't lose weight on a whim. It requires consistent lifestyle choices, and I'm not sure she gets that. You need to have a conversation and let her know that if she wants to lose weight, it requires a commitment, and if she's not willing to make that commitment, then complaining about it isn't helping.
My girlfriend is unhappy about her weight, but has issues with being controlled or told what to do, and has digestive issues that weren't helped by her parents getting fast food almost every night while she was growing up. For me, healthy food is normal and sweets are just extras I can do without. For her, unhealthy food is what she's always eaten and adjusting her diet can cause great pain and other issues.
The solution? She only really complains about her weight when she's depressed, and otherwise she takes baby steps to try to eat more healthily. I'm totally fine with her exactly how she is, and as she loses weight to be more comfortable with herself, I'll only continue to be happy.
Essentially, your girlfriend needs to learn that whining about choices she's making isn't productive, so she needs to make better choices (as much as she can put up with, at any rate) or not whine it.
>>17179720
Worth? Like financially? For what age group? The teens through 30's are pretty well saturated with fanfiction. Though 50 shades did give the OC market a boost.
If you carve out a fanbase, erotica can be pretty well profitable. It's not an easy job though, and it'll be a while before you really see money.
I've been getting closer with this one girl at uni, but I swear she is literally mixed signals: the person. We'll be talking and bantering and having a good time after class most days, but on some she'll go out of her way to blow me off or basically tell me not to talk to her.
We just went out together a few days ago and everything was fine, I was 95% sure she was interested in me. Can anyone give me suggestions on how to get her to stop flip-flopping on me? I have no clue what i'm doing wrong, if anything.
>>17179764
>suggestions on how to get her to stop flip-flopping on me?
You don't. Sounds like she's just an immature cunt.
>>17179041
>>17179585
>She tries to get on my case to eat "healthy" all the time
What does she critique?
>She was once anorexic
It's not surprising that she is has issues with regulating her food intake. Eating disordered behavior goes both ways.
I'll give you some insight. I've had some issues with eating disordered behavior. On starvation days, I'll be very deliberate about what I have. A greek yogurt, a small thing of chicken, etc. Protein so that I can last longer.
On days that I give in, it's more like, "WHAT'S THE POINT, I DON'T CARE. I'LL NEVER LOOK GOOD ANYWAYS" and I eat four icecream bars, three huge servings of pasta, and a slice of cake.
And then the next day I'm so disgusted at myself for what I've done that I fast all day.
So it's kind of cyclic. I don't know which one started your girlfriend on this journey. But she's stuck on the not caring part of the cycle.
Has she gotten help for her history of anorexia? Has she ever seen a therapist about it and her other problems? Just not starving herself anymore doesn't mean ana's gone. Her eating behavior certainly isn't healthy.
>>17179418
Some women feel that being infertile means they are a failure. They think they are less of a woman, that they are broken, that they are worthless.
They imagined their future- they imagined children of their own. Now they can never see what their child would look like. It's heartbreaking.
So that might be why a woman would keep it a secret.
This isn't how I feel, just as a disclaimer. I'm a woman who intends to get sterilized so that I can't have children. But this is how I've heard women talk about it.
>>17179780
What should I do then? I've spent a lot of time working up the nerve and self esteem to even get comfortable around her, and I feel like if I drop it now all that time would have been wasted. Should I hang around a little longer to see if she settles down, or just bail while i'm ahead?
guys who've had multiple girlfriends,
If your current girlfriend stumbles across old photos of you and an ex online is she justified in getting angry at you/demanding that you remove said photos with the argument being "there shouldn't be remnants of it laying around if it ended and you have moved on"?
>>17179837
That's ridiculous. Just because I want to remember the past doesn't mean I want to go back to her. I could have enjoyed my time there. I'd like to have a record of who was important to me. She's not important to me any more, but she was important to me at one point.
I also have an awful memory for faces. I like to keep pictures available just so I can remember who people looked like.
>>17179837
>is she justified
doesnt matter, i would terminate the relationship at that point because she is clearly not mature/stable enough for my liking
>>17179837
She's being silly.
A person's life is a long string of things that have happened to them.
You cannot erase them.
Even if you can convince him to erase the photos, his memories will always be there.
He will always compare you to them.
But that's OK. What we are is a sum of our experiences. How we react is due to how we lived.
If you made him erase that part of himself, he wouldn't be the person you care about.
You feel insecure because you want to be the only one for him.
You are. For this version of him.
>>17179785
Well I've been doing keto for years. It's an odd diet, really no carbs except vegetables. So she wants me to eat more vegetables. And she's right, and I do. She's then not welcome to criticism of her sweet tooth, however.
I can see that and didn't think of that at all, thanks for the insight on the disorder. We just had a back and forth, she was pretty pissed, it got into her body imagery etc. I tried to tell her I show support by solving a problem. To me, I can solve not eating vegetables by eating them. She can solve image issues with confidence, which may come from not eating garbage. I didn't say that last part, but I told her if a problem is brought to me multiple times I'm going to give honest answers. She basically wants canned responses of "it's okay babe you'll get em next time!!!" I hate being a robot cheerleader.
>>17179785
The funny thing is that i'm a dude with no eating disorder or body image issues and i eat like this too. Some days or multiple days in a row practically nothing due to anxiety and workaholism, some days proper diet with good balance and high protein and lots of fruits/veggies, other days 8000kcal+ of unhealthy shit like cake and chocolate and whatever i've got laying around.
And yet i've never really been outside of the "skinny nerd" range on the scale.
Hoping to do so for the first time now though, i've been working out hard and packing on muscle at a decent pace, very happy with progress so far.
I guess somehow my bingeing and starving manages to perfectly balance out in the end.
>>17179878
>I've been doing keto for years
As in strict keto, and not for a medical condition? How's that been working out?
Mental energy, memory, focus, etc alright?
>>17179889
Yeah, no medical condition. Works fine. You are groggy in the beginning but then great. I'm a big coffee drinker though, always have been. It's the only lifestyle change with my weight that I've had success with.
>>17179878
>She can solve image issues with confidence, which may come from not eating garbage.
The issue is that it's not going to stop at what she sees in the mirror. I'm 105 pounds and I'm having these thoughts. It doesn't go away when you reach a certain level. If she doesn't address her disorder, she's never going to feel better about herself.
Her being fat is not helping her feel good about herself. But her self confidence is not bad because she is fat. It started before that. She probably got fat because she has a poor self esteem and thinks that she's not worth fighting for.
Get her to a therapist.
Girls
I know this girl that is 24 who has never been in a relationship same as me same age never been in a relationship,I asked her out and she said yes we both had a great time,but after this she rarely messages me anymore we used to talk a lot before the date,I tried asking her out again but she doesnt seem that interested anymore kinda tries to ignore me what is the deal?did I ask again too soon?should I try again or just give up?Arent girls like guys that get lonely and want a partner to be with too?
>>17179938
She's insecure.
The sad truth is that you need to push her until she says no.
Dating is like dancing.
You lead.
>>17179938
I think she got upset because you don't know what punctuation is.
>>17179837
No, but I'm old enough where if a girl pulls this shit (I.E. not in my teens), she's clearly unstable and immature as all heck.
>>17179815
>I feel like if I drop it now all that time would have been wasted
Not trying to be harsh, but that's entitled beta orbiter logic.
Don't think of people in terms of investment and effort, think of them in terms of bonds built and shared experiences. Otherwise you're going to set yourself down a very miserable and bitter path.
Ladies, if a really hot guy asked you to facefuck him, would you?
>>17180129
I'd be very tempted to!
Depends on what kind of person he is. I'd reject weed smokers, casual sex people, and airheads.
But if he had any intentions of being with me and was in my class or higher, I'd do it. Even more so if he was a submissive I think I'd just fucking lose it.
>>17180129
I'm not a huge fan of getting eaten out. It's a rather intimate thing for me. Also I'm submissive. I'd prefer to be face fucked rather than do the face fucking any day.
everyone really:
what would you do if one of your cousins accidentally posted nude pictures by accident on the snapchat history AND THEN sent you a message being sorry and stuff? i am just cracking up here and the poor guy is crying and asking for forgiveness, he started with jokes but now the guy is fucked up
it seems like he only has three people on SC and i was the only one who saw them (i actually closed them when i realized and i told him but guy is crying about this)
girls, why are you fucking pussies that cant stand being ignored?
Girls: how do I tell if you're submissive or dominant? What percentage are submissive?
guys: if you treat a girl like your girlfriend (talking all the time, pet names, dates, introducing her to friends, being domestic as shit), but then say you don't want a relationship and are still seeing other girls, what the hell are we supposed to do?
>>17180497
Get a boyfriend who will commit.
I've heard of this happening to other girls.
Then they got a real bf,
Sometimes they stay friends other times they slowly vanish from your life.
It's life mang.
>>17180497
Are you hooking up? Anything physical?
If not, he's your friend. He doesn't want more. Despite what 4chan says, not every guy is a mindless sex demon.
So, I got just a little bit drunk and started texting my ex. But I had just changed my number, and when she asked me who I was, I told her I was somebody else from high school. She believed me, and now we're talking, and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. It seems creepy, but I really miss her, and it's harmless, right? Should I stop?
>>17180497
He's still growing up. Maybe he'll be worth your time in a few years, but for now he's only going to lead you on. Stop wasting your time.
>>17180525
I'm so confused, why would you do this? What the fuck do you think is going to happen?
I often think with my dick. Everytime I see a attractive girl in school/class I get a crush on her. But thinking logally she and I have never anything in common. I think my dick is just desperate to have sex, but I want to save it up for a girl that I really like and love. I also have never had a real relationship.
>How do I keep thinking rationally?
But the again sometimes think that a eventual break up would ruin me since I'm not fully in control nor am I stable witg my emotions. That holding me up sometimes to talk to girls.
>Is that just an excuse my brain makes ?
>>17180605
Why'd you leave out the part where you're 16?
>>17180646
Irrelevant
>>17180653
No it's not.
>>17180666
Why ? I assume someone wouldn't write like this if he's >24 years old. So why does that extra information matter ?
>>17180525
Yes you retard
>>17180189
>also im submissive
this is what 95% of women say and it usually means "i'm lazy and just want to lay here"
>>17180671
Not any of the anon's you were talking to but
>I assume someone wouldn't write like this if he's >24 years old.
They do. All the time.
But because you're 16, instead of digging in to built up/potential entrenched mentalities and thought process (which you're too young to have developed in the first place) we can just tell you to go fuck off because
1.) This is 4chan and you must be 18 to be on here
2.) This shit is normal for 16 year olds being flooded 24/7 with horomones. Finish your sex ed + biology classes.
>>17180671
You havent yet developed a personality so your actions are based on your hormones and group mentality. Just remember to use a condom, having a spawn aint great :)
What is flirting and how do you do it?
How do you notice if there is sexual tension between you and another person?
How do you make a move?
Why is this shit so fucking complex?
>>17180742
>Why is this shit so fucking complex?
It's not. It's super natural and instinctive
>>17180745
No it's not.
Not for me.
>>17180697
Was that so difficult for you to write in the first place ?
>>17180747
That's your problem, not the world's
>>17180751
I asked for advice for that reason precisely.
>>17180742
This is basically covered in the OP.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
There used to be an explanation/analogy talking specifically about flirting but i guess it got taken out.
Off the top of my head:
Think of social interactions like a skill tree in a video game.
You do quests to get experience, which level you up, which unlocks different quests and abilities.
Socializing
level 1: Make eye, smile, fix your posture
level 2: Say hi to someone, shake hands
level 3: Have a brief conversation with someone you know
level 4 long convo with someone you know
level 5: introduce yourself to a stranger
[..]
level 8 New skill tree unlocked: flirt
[..]
level 10: Talk freely with anyone of either gender at length about anything
Flirt
Level 1: Make eye contact with someone
level 2: introduce yourself, have a convo
[...]
level 5: unlock ability read signs
[...]
read signs ability
lvl 1 20% accuracy
lvl 2 25% accuracy
[...]
You get the idea. And if you try to jump level and skip ahead to something you haven't set the groundwork for, sometimes you can luck out, succeed and jump levels, but your fail rate is also much higher and there's a chance to afflict yourself with a temporary [confidence] stat debuff, or even to undergo a critical failure and be afflicted with a semi-permanent [angry bitter robot] debuff.
TL;DR Work hard.
>>17180769
This is some weapons grade autism.
>>17180542
I'll get someone to talk to? Besides, if it goes on long enough, I might be able to fuck her up a bit. I was a manipulative asshole back when we dated, and so were the guys before me and the guy after me (I don't know what the current guy's doing). So I get some nostalgic indulgence, and maybe even some revenge or whatever. Seems pretty reasonable to me.
>>17180779
lol consider the audience. I'm just trying to break it down to the most base of video game terms.
If you're going to over think it, there's the road map for doing it so you can actually get some progress and don't just sit on your ass and complain it's not natural and is too hard to understand.
P.S. How this actually works is it's all a natural extension of your basic socialization. From birth to now, practiced or not, you've been watching all of these take place through out your entire life. Your only excuse is if you literally lived in a bubble where you only watched anime, had no interaction with the outside world, watched no tv featuring people, did not go to school, and were basically a vegetable. It's overthinking and nueroticsm that fucks most people like this over.
>>17180811
Just because someone is inexperienced in this shit, you don't need to explain it like you are talking to some sort of mentally deficient moron.
Shove your condescending bs up your arse.
>>17180840
Err...
You do realize this is 4chan?
>>17180852
Yes, and?
Guys: yesterday i told my bf about my childhood. He asked because i told him it wasn't perfect but that it's alright and long gone.
Basically, my dad was very abusive.
We talked half the night, and my bf was really upset (why i wasn't keen on going into details). This morning, he was very "pensive", left soon and has only texted me back once and very short. How bad did i fuck up?
Girls, how long after a "long-tern" relatioship did it take you to get over your previous partner?
>Did you get into a rebound?
>How long was the relationship
>What's your relationship with your ex now, do you see them? Keep in contact?
>>17181096
>translation: I'm still pining for my ex and am trying to find even the tiniest bit of hope that she'll take me back
>>17181096
>How long after a "long-tern" relatioship did it take you to get over your previous partner?
A year.
>Did you get into a rebound?
Not really. I had some casual flirts online for a few months before I wanted to get back to the real dating.
>How long was the relationship?
6 years.
>What's your relationship with your ex now, do you see them? Keep in contact?
We didn't talk for a year, now we see each other at christmas and my parents birthdays and talk once or twice a month.
>>17181060
>yesterday i told my bf about my childhood.
>How bad did i fuck up?
*shrug* as a guy whose girlfriend had a pretty fucked up childhood (physically, mentally, and sexually abusive father), if he can't deal, that's on him.
Honestly, from personal experience, he's either mature enough to deal with this info or he's not.
Around half a decade ago I had another girl tell me something similar (not as bad, but still fucked up) and that knowledge just wasn't something I could deal with. It didn't wreck me, but i was young enough that it did change the way I interacted with her to a degree. I didn't see her as worse or ruined or anything, but more like I just felt more protective of her--which was a bad thing.
By comparison, with my girlfriend, finding out changed absolutely nothing. I'm older and mature enough to know that she's just her, and know she can take care of herself, When she told me, Instead of freaking out or making a big deal out of it, I just thanked her for choosing to share something so personal with me (she was kind of worried i'd freak out, and just kind of teared up and thanked me for not saying "sorry").
The reality is, your boyfriend will either be able to deal with this, or he won't. But this is something you would always have to have told him eventually because it's a part of opening up and trusting each other.
Like I said, Maybe he thinks it over, gets over it, and everything is fine and you guys are better for it, maybe he can't and it's the end. Either way, if he can't deal it's on him and not you.
No feminazi/numale to answer this? >>17179283
t. shitlord
>>17181123
Well, he's already rather protective. Why was it a bad thing you felt that way about her?. How can i assure him that it doesn't affect me anymore and that i am still my capable self?
>>17180742
>What is flirting and how do you do it?
Flirting is a way to make someone else you're interested in them.
You do it by
>attentions
>compliments
>physical contact
All of this can be more casual or sexual according to your personality.
Do it all while smiling and keeping eye contact.
>How do you notice if there is sexual tension between you and another person?
Empathy. You can literally feel it in their voice and understand it from the way they move.
>How do you make a move?
You escalate from breaking the "physical barrier" with a casual touch to something that is innocuous but still clearly intentional (ex: hand on shoulder, hand on waist) and then you go for a kiss.
From there you gradually make things more and more sexual, over time, at the pace you're comfortable with.
>Why is this shit so fucking complex?
It is not. You're either fairly autistic or just severely inexperienced.
>>17181155
>Empathy. You can literally feel it in their voice and understand it from the way they move.
That doesn't tell me much, if I have no prior experience with this shit. Am I just supposed to instinctively pick that up?
>It is not. You're either fairly autistic or just severely inexperienced.
Yes it is. I am soon 23, literally kissless, handholdless virgin with basically zero experience at interacting with females.
>>17179058
You need to find someone soon.
24 is starting to push it, but you *really* don't want to break 30 before finding a guy and having kids with him.
Female attractiveness peaks ~20, you're already 4 years past that.
And the genetic defects from having kids after 30 gets bad. It gets really bad after 35. Unless you want a 1:30 chance of retardo babies, have kids before 35.
Male attraction is almost entirely based on physical appearance. If you're fat, unathletic, go and get fit. Exercise.
Once you have a guy, focus on being a caretaker/traditional housewife.
It might be that this doesn't appeal to you, but if you simply don't know what you want to do/be, do this. It will feel right and you'll be far happier in the long run.
Don't sleep around and blow it. You basically get one chance to invest the time into a family and make it work before you're too old.
This shit is tradition for a reason.
>>17181145
>Why was it a bad thing you felt that way about her?
Because I saw her as someone who needed to be saved, and not as someone who was my equal, my partner.
Truth was, meeting her saved me in a way, and I wanted to repay the favor, but that's not at all a stable foundation for a healthy relationship. It's overly emotional, erratic, and not an equal dynamic.
>How can i assure him that it doesn't affect me anymore and that i am still my capable self?
Call him out on his shit. Be tough. Be mad at him. Smack him upside the head and tell him you're not a princess to be saved, that you've got this shit handled, and the reason you even said anything was because he asked and you wanted to be honest. Him thinking anything else is conceited as fuck and kind of demeaning to everything you've ever done to become your own person.
Or something like that.
Tune the level of harsh to what you think is appropriate, but what he probably needs now is a reality check and to realize that your past is yours, NOT his--so he has absolutely no right or reason to pity you or feel sorry for himself.
>>17181060
literally every girl I've ever met has some bullshit fake as fuck story about being raped or being abused as a kid
it's never as bad as you make it out to be, and that's why you never go into explicit details and always try to avoid having men do something about it
You just use it as some pointless bullshit thing to blab about for no reason, like venting steam.
basically, you shouldn't have said anything.
You know what guys do when you tell them you have a problem? They try to fix the problem.
Should I shape my personality to fit my favorite characters, like role models, even though I'm twenty five? or is that creepy?
This year I've been trying to reinvent myself since I lost my friends of seven years after a three paged letter on how much of a douche I am. (It was laughed at by others I showed it to and comforted me but all the same)
>>17180281
All women are submissive. Even the ones who try to pretend they are dominant.
That also means if you try to be submissive they get turned off and develop contempt for you.
Girls: when a guy really has the hots for you but you don't feel the same, how do you gently decline his affections as nicely as possible?
Please explain as if I'm a gigantic sperglord because I am.
Bonus question: why can't y'all be as direct as gay guys?
It's times like this I wish I was batting for the other team...
>>17181168
>Should I improve myself???
The answer is yes, faggot.
Don't be like a woman who thinks it's just fine to 'be who you are'.
You damn well better change every facet of yourself that is lacking. If you think you're immoral; excise your immorality. If you think you are stupid; learn. If you think you are weak; get strong.
>>17181161
>That doesn't tell me much
I can't really explain to you how to be empathetic, it's a skill you either have naturally or you develop over time through trial and error.
>I am soon 23, literally kissless, handholdless virgin with basically zero experience at interacting with females.
Most people at your age aren't, which means that it is not complex at all.
It is just for you because of something that didn't go normally.
You can still "make up" for the time you lost by actually trying and interact.
You'll fail, you'll be rejected and you'll be ridiculous but at the end you'll learn.
>>17180525
It's not harmless, and you should stop.
Delete contact info. Your future self will thank you.
>>17181166
>literally every girl I've ever met has some bullshit fake as fuck story about being raped or being abused as a kid
I think that says more about you and the type/quality of people you associate with than anything else....
>>17179938
No, girls are not like guys.
You didn't give off the right vibes to her and now she's lost interest. If you want to respark that interest you need to improve yourself and chase other women.
The moment you get a different girlfriend is the moment she will be all fucking over you.
Women are attracted to traits of dominance - and particularly dominance over other men. The more you can express that sort of dominance, the more women will find you attractive.
>>17181181
It is complex for me.
I completely missed a critical stage in social development that most of my peers went trough.
I missed that train.
>>17181183
Or perhaps its that the vast majority of women are walking drama llamas.
>>17181178
>Bonus question: why can't y'all be as direct as gay guys?
Fun Fact: Gay girls can be equally blunt
Why? A a whole gay people (and I'm in no way saying this applies to all--it definitely doesn't) are less inclined to get butt hurt, misinterpret, not know how to fuck-off, and give as much of a shit as straight people--probably a consequence of too many wasted years of having all that shit pent up, repressed, and worried about persecution and shame (from their family, friends, society, etc).
>>17181179
How to stop being overly nice and a push over? And disappearing from people when I'm severely depressed and feel like I'm a burdened.
(Especially when I'm trying to disappear in case I commit suicide and don't want to burden people around me)
Just be a bit more of a dick? Is it okay to be a dick?
>>17181190
>I completely missed a critical stage in social development that most of my peers went trough. I missed that train.
Which doesn't mean you can't be a happy person or go through that stage now.
You're 23 and you're still very young.
Go, talk to people, be awkward and fail miserably until you understand how to do it.
>>17179266
No, it's not good advice.
If you want to look more attractive to her, just about the best possible thing you can do is get some other girl.
Girls have this preselection thing going on where guys who already have girlfriends are more attractive than guys who don't.
Thank human biology and evolution for that.
I've given this same advice earlier in the thread already, but female attraction is predicated on dominance markers in men - that takes a variety of forms, but it basically always boils down to a man who is better than other men. That means you need to be competitive; you need to show you can dominate other men somehow.
>>17181199
True, but it does mean that I face a massive disadvantage at this shit, and risk being rejected just on the grounds of the fact that I am inexperienced at my age, despite the fact that the reasons for my current state were largely out of my control.
>>17181198
No, it's not okay to be a dick.
But a lot of people can't tell the difference between someone being a dick, and someone being assertive. Doing what you want, the way you want it, is part of what being a man is about.
What is not, is just being offensive to people for no more reason than to be offensive.
You sound pretty young, so don't be afraid to fuck up and make some mistakes, and don't be afraid to actually fight for what you want. If that means getting mad, then get mad. If that means getting in a fistfight, then get in a fistfight. Even if you lost, being a fighter is already better than the guy who avoids the fight entirely.
You will NEVER get a woman by being passive or an easy pushover.
Would you choose a pokemon that's an utter failure and loses every battle? Who's useless and can't even learn any HM's? Fuck no you wouldn't. Pokemon like that get tossed in the PC and languish there forever.
>>17181166
>bullshit fake as fuck story
Except it's not. We had the police at our home multiple times. He wanted to know because he felt it just belongs to me and he wants to know me in and out.
I know that guys do that. That's the reason i was so reluctant to tell him. But i also don't want to male him feel left out and like i'm not being honest and upfront about it. I kept the dirty details for myself and focused on how i have learned to deal with it as an adult so it doesn't bother me anymore.
It's not so much a "problem" i have. It's also not something you can do shit about. It's just stories from my past and we love to share those. I just left the ones about my dad losing it out till now.
>>17181215
Yes, life is unfair. Everyone has some shit, some more than others, and most of the time it's out of your control.
You can either sit down and complain about how much of a bitch life has been to you or actually do something to change your future.
At the end, people are as happy as they choose to be.
If in one year you'll still be as unhappy as you are today, it will be your fault and no one else's.
>>17181198
>How to stop being overly nice and a push over?
>Just be a bit more of a dick? Is it okay to be a dick?
You realize that's going from one polar opposite--a Nice Guyâ„¢-- to another--red pill or whatever-right? You might get noticed, but you'll be just as--if not more--broken and instead of being desperate and depressed, become bitter and toxic.
There is a middle ground that's actually healthy.
But it takes HARD WORD and TONS of consistent effort.
Strive for an ideal, strive to be the kind of person you can say you'd be proud to become, the best version of who you could possibly be. Do it non stop. Push yourself and do it, even when you hate what you're doing and every fiber of your being is fighting against it and would rather be lazy and do nothing.
It took me almost 10 years to change. It's not a fast process, but when you complete it, you come out stronger than normal for having had to struggle for every single scrap, every single step, and every single improvement.
>inb4 burself meme graphics >.>
There's this lady I'm into, and I told her, and I feel a bit dumb. Have I screwed up my life forever?
>>17181161
>Am I just supposed to instinctively pick that up?
Not exactly. You get better in time. And you have to "calibrate yourself" by picking up a confirmed signal at least once first, of course, so you can properly match the feeling with its meaning.
Protip: if you live in the USA or europe it will help a LOT to interact with foreigners. In my experience, middle eastern girls tend not to be as defensive, and asian/indian girls are often terrible liars.
White girls, on the other hand, hide their feelings instinctively and tend to be very good at it, so they're the "nightmare mode" or elite four once you've got enough experience.
I suspect this is because they bullied/emotionally tormented each other so much in school.
And yes you can do this even with a congenital social handicap (i'm in that position myself) as long as it's not autism (autists sadly can't pick up these signals because their antennas are broken).
>>17181190
Same here, anon. I don't understand why people think "go do it, it's easy, just fail until you succeed" is useful advice to give to people who have obviously managed to fuck that up for the better part of 2 decades.
A man with serious issues needs serious coaching.
>>17181250
Reload previous save
>>17181259
I am not an autist, I just basically have zero experience with interacting with females in any meaningful way, due to my past.
To sum it up
>Shy and introverted kid at early teens
>Unpopular, and outcast status led to the development of even further introverted, and antisocial tendencies, which ended up convincing me that everyone disliked and looked down upon me during my mid teens.
>because of the above, had very few friends, and acquaintances, maybe 3 of them being female, none of whom I was that close friends with. I wouldn't even dare to approach a girl even just to talk with her casually. Never acted on my fledgling crushes on any girls because of my insecurities, and because I was convinced that they wouldn't like me back.
>18 years old, conscripted to the army (live in Finland, it's mandatory here), serve there, get out, find myself with no direction, my fall into depression bad, lose basically all my social contacts as my peers and former friends advance in life.
>Finally get help after almost 3 years of increasingly worsening depression, start recovering slowly, but surely, via the aid of therapy.
>After almost a year of therapy, apply to study for the first time since I got out of high school, get in, and decide to try to start anew, with a bit more positive mindset, where I try not to be as guarded and asocial as I had been before.
And that pretty much sums up the last decade of my life. I moved out of home to study this year's February.
This is the first time in my life when I am actually mentally equipped to even start trying to learn this shit, and it may be way too late already.
>>17181230
Not really concerned about women at this point in my life. More concentrated on being a better person. I got enough problems in my life without taking on even more. I guess I just attribute assertiveness with dickery.
>>17181242
Yeah, that's where I am now. I've been in a depressed, neet state, since October and my parents helped enable that by just letting me stay in my basement the whole time. Up until recently, my whole basement was filled with trash and junk.
But I recently had a shift, maybe thanks to the weather, where I've been a bit more productive and changing just every so slightly.
Also, it wasn't so much of being a "nice guy" as it is being like too overtly nice. Stopping to give homeless people money even if it meant barely having enough money to catch a subway, avoiding breaking up with people because I don't want to be an asshole even if it meant being depressed the whole time, etc. Not just I WAS NICE TO PEOPLE SO WHY WON'T THEY HAVE SEX WITH ME. But you know, actually being super overtly nice because I was raised on super hero comics and shounen manga/anime/video games.
I guess when I meant be a dick I meant Leonard Snart, Captain Cold, Dante, or Gambit. One of those assertive types with a charismatic personality. Rather than a push over with no backbone.
But thanks anons, you got me spot on and I'll try my best to change.
>>17181259
>I don't understand why people think "go do it, it's easy, just fail until you succeed" is useful advice to give to people who have obviously managed to fuck that up for the better part of 2 decades.
Because people who give that advice can't fathom the situation the people they are "advising" are in.
Just broke up with someone and they said we didn't have enough in common (not the reason for the breakup).
This got me thinking, how should a couple have in common? He meant hobby-wise, but how about values and stuff like that, aren't those more important than if I like to read books and he likes to watch sports?
>>17181421
How much*
>>17181421
I think it's important to be fairly similar in a couple.
>Similar plans for the future
If you want to travel the world and they want to have kids and a house before they turn 30, you shouldn't be together.
>Similar values
If you like sleeping around and they want to wait for sex till marriage, you shouldn't be together.
>Similar taste
If you don't want to constantly fight over minor shit, at least - stuff like listening to similar music/movies/tv shows will make your life easier.
>Some common interests
It's a way to bond and spend time together. If you literally have nothing that you like doing together beside fucking and eating and doing chores, your life will be boring.
Of course there can be some differences, and differences are what make things interesting. And compromising is important.
>>17181250
Obviously
Which MMO should I start playing to find a qt shy geek gf that does anal?
>>17180502
We've been fucking since like January. The has been good, but it's not the only thing that matters. Sometimes when I stay the night all we end up doing is nuzzling and snuggling and being cute.
Didnt want to start a new thread and this seems like the questions general.
Im going on day 7 with a really really bad sore throat. Anyone have any tips to ease this fucker? Already using that throat spray stuff and ibuprofen. Fucking sick of it man.
>>17181713
Might be time to ask a doctor about it, if it's lasting that long, could be something more than just a regular sore throat (strep maybe?)
>>17181724
You know after reading the symptoms of strep throat it sounds like I might have it. My whole family are suffering from the same symptoms. Maybe I should see a doctor.
>>17181713
>Didnt want to start a new thread
Don't worry about making new threads, even if they're small - sure they'll push a different thread off the board, but if it's a small question, then your thread will die quickly as nobody will bump it after it's resolved.
>>17181274
>avoiding breaking up with people because I don't want to be an asshole even if it meant being depressed the whole time
This is an asshole move. You're wasting her time if you do this. It's just you being cowardly. You're trying to convince yourself that you have altruistic reasons, but that's not true.
>>17181155
Yeah no for people who dont see and hear that it isn't helpful
Like i always say
Everyone is tuned in a radio station while a few of us get white noise
Body language, flirting, sexual tension?
Nope
Had a gf for years and i never did or understood those
Men and women (please state which):
A few years down the line you have a child with someone you love. It is male. Do you get him circumcised?
>>17182049
Woman.
No.
>>17182049
Female and i already have a son.
Nope, NOPE! that's mutilation and fucking unnecessary. He can still get circumcised as an adult if he wishes, but i leave that decision to HIM, since it concerns his genitals.
>>17182049
If needed, yes, like my parents did for me
>>17182049
Woman and proud to live in a country where circumcision is seen as male genital mutilation, as it should. I'd gnaw off a part of myself before allowing someone to cut off a part of my child.
>>17182049
Male
Hell No.
That shit is barbaric, and disgusting, and only jews and mudslimes practice it here in Europe. No child of mine will be mutilated.
Why are men looked down on if they choose to go years without sex? It's really unmotivating and depressing having people always look down on you for nothing.
>>17182130
Because both aggressive sexual desire and ability to seduce women are seen as marks of a healthy, masculine man.
>>17182130
For most men (including myself), that shit ain't a choice.
>>17182134
It just pisses me off because I can tell my peers look down on me. But it's my choice that I don't talk to girls and have sex, because that apperently makes me "less of a man".
>>17182049
Woman and no
>>17182160
That's life, if you want to be independent and make your own choices having others disapprove is part of the deal. Shit sucks but there's so many expectations for how to live your life, either decide to adjust your behavior or to stop giving a fuck about other people's opinion of you.
>>17182159
I understand where you are coming from. for the very very few sexual experiences ive had. I had to put in a shit load of time and energy. 6 years ago I determined it wasn't worth it anymore and gave up. Now I don't even care about sex anymore. I've convinced myself it's a waste of time and just not worth it. I don't care if I ever have sex again. Yet my co-workers and my friends always seem to be act weird around me when sex is a topic and I say I don't want to have sex with anyone.
>>17182170
Does it actually make me less of a man? That's one thing that really bothers me.
Like, would you look down on me, or another man because he chooses to not meet girls and have sex?
>>17182177
Personally I don't think so at all. But for a lot of guys, especially young guys, their interest in sex/women is a big part of their identity as a man. They will struggle to get into the mindset of someone who is a normal sexual being but abstains.
It's mostly based on the stereotype and the standards to which others hold themselves.
>>17182191
I hear you. It just sucks going against social norms. Everyone my age is starting to get married and everything. And my friends continuously try to tell me that I "HAVE" to start dating because I'm "wasting" my 20s. And apperently or day I'm going to have a wife and kids? Wtf. I don't want any of that shit. But they won't let up on it. They keep saying that "you need to start learning now because it will happen one day". Fucking pisses me off
>>17182223
Just practice some lines to fall back on to politely tell them to fuck off. Eg explain yourself once (something like "I actually feel like I get more out of my life single than I did when I was caught up in relationships, I have a lot of time for x and y, and I'll see what happens in the future but for now I am quite happy with my life", which is followed by "I just explained why I made this decision, it is my choice, please leave it at that" if they press on, followed by "I already told you, let's not pick this apart anymore" / "I already told you and have nothing left to say about this" or any variation if they wish to still push after that.
>>17182236
i'd try that idea if it was valid. The thing is my friends know that I have never been in a relationship before. And they know that I've only ever had sex twice before (5 years ago). They also know that all I do is work, go to the gym, and sit at home and watch COPS (watching it as I type this actually lol) and watch the news.
So to them, I really have no excuse. Other than I just don't want to have sex with anyone. So to them it's like a red flag or some shit so they keep trying to push me to do something about it. Which is a negative thing to me, although they think they are motivating me.
>>17182247
It's none of their business, which has nothing to do with whether or not you could theoretically put yourself in the dating game. You just need to rub in their faces that it is not something you want advice on.
>>17182253
Well, it technically is their business I guess since they are my only friends. They know that I'm not a happy person.
>>17182258
No, friends need to respect one another's boundaries. If a person is so convinced of their case, or unable to find the motivation to change their behavior, that they are completely closed off towards advice, it ends there. You can only help people who have at least a bit of desire to change themselves. Life isn't a movie where the friend says a few choice words, gives a slap on the shoulder and BAM, he saved his friend. The moments where you have an actual window to directly influence someone's bigger choices in life are elusive and rare, and overall you have more chance at being a positive influence through leading by example than by giving advice.
Having said that, if YOU are dissatisfied with your life then obviously you need to change something. Either explain once and for all that lack of women is not the issue and if at all possible confide in them what's lacking and what you plan to do about it, or find it within yourself to face that you do want to be with someone and stop saying otherwise.
>>17182264
God dammit, this shit sucks
>>17182278
Also, just saying but from your own admission it does sound like you have some thinking and changing to do. It seems like your friends don't look down on you for not dating, but because they feel like you are wasting your life away in a manner that goes beyond not wanting to get with someone. More in the realm of not having any kind of passion/fulfilment in life. If this is remotely true obviously invest in turning it around. If you think it is too hard now, wait until you're older and see how it only gets worse.
>>17181421
As similar as possible. It's obvious that TOO different is also bad, but you'll probably never find that. You're more likely to find tons of people who are too different. People get divorced because of "irreconcilable differences" not similarities.
>>17182049
Woman, nope.
>>17182130
Some people actually look UP to men like that. I see it as having good values, self-control, and forethought.
I currently make $9 an hour as a bagger at a grocery store and I want to blow my brains out
Will I make more money if I work at a restaurant, by bussing and working my way up to Server?
>>17182314
The only fulfillment I get is from traveling. But the one of the downsides of being an American is we work too much. I only get 2 weeks of vacation a year. So I really can only travel twice a year.
>>17182371
If you do a good job you can. Servers practically make their own paychecks. It depends on how good of a waiter you are. If you are friendly, and continuously check up on your customers and make sure everything goes great for them. They will give you good tips
>>17182376
Even if you could travel five times a year, that's not that much if it's the only thing that makes your life meaningful. Do some soul searching about what you need - hobbies, romance, different or more different kinds of friends, a more challenging career or education, spirituality, whatever. You are in charge of arranging your life so that you derive satisfaction from it.
>>17178987
Do bitches dig ditches?
Yes you read that right
>>17182383
>do some soul searching
I've been doing that the past 3 years.
I don't want romance. I can't get a career that I really want because I'm not smart enough. I don't know how I'm suppose to make new friends. Traveling twice a year is all I have
>>17182410
Then what about hobbies? You can learn how to make new friends, if you already have some it is doubtful that none of them could possibly take you along to a new social event or circle.
I get that it's no walk in the park. But you have to understand that it's either a matter of investing in trying it anyway, or settling for your life as it is now. You cannot expect to openly drag yourself through the days and simultaneously not get any comments.
Im getting triggered by how selfish and sexist woman are.
Why are they that way. They are like this in everything whether its leading some poor guy on because they think its okay to manipulate people or some feminazi view about how they are the superior species. I just dont understand.
>>17182440
>hobbies?
I really can't think of much. I like going to the range and shooting guns. But I can't do it all the time, and it seems like that options about to go down the shitter when Hillary Clinton wins the election and bans the guns I have.
>>17182459
It's not really a woman's fault that a man places so much value on her.
>>17182522
this desu
this is where almost tall of it comes from
never allow a womans natural tendency to be an utter subhuman flourish
>>17182522
Oh is it not women trying to fight for superiority of their gender.
for girls:
you've been in relationship for like 6 months, then you meet a guy you like even more. what do you do?
hardmode: [spoiler]you are very faithful and not a slut[/spoiler]
>>17182590
Break it off. If after ten years you meet someone who does things to you that your partner doesn't, that's normal. But if I'm with someone and want to be with someone else more while still in the honeymoon phase, obviously it's not going to work out.
For girls:
As a dealer, how do i break down that customer/dealer relationship barrier i have with almost all my female clients? Its not easy and i cant be to risky or i risk losing a customer. Girls can be incredibly awkward about that kind of stuff
Girl here, I'll take advice from either gender though
How do I get better at the whole sex thing? Im 20 and recently lost my virginity and have had sex a few more times since. It feels fine, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes nice, mostly just sweaty lol. I just don't know really what to do? Bf has been sort of guiding me, but I kind of want to take charge a little bit I guess. Only problem is I'm maladroit as fuck, I have no idea how to move my body ever. I like being on top, but whenever I am, his ween slips out a bunch and is really uncomfortable for both of us lol
TL;DR- how to sex good
>>17179041
"Yeah babe you're a fucking whale stay away from Japs"
>>17179058
you're already a year out of date. find a loser and hold on for dear life
>>17182601
Of course it's not easy, fucking your dealer to most people is saying goodbye to your human dignity, it's something for when you hit rock bottom.
>>17179357
to be fair i've never had a bad rejection
i've been lied to nearly every time, but they were nice about it
>>17179364
being barren is so bad it literally makes women insane. that's the kind of private, devastating stuff you don't want to share freely.
>>17182596
how long is the honeymoon phase? and also what would be your advice here? should i be flirty and shit or just keep it cool like a friend?
>>17182613
We have feelings too you know.
So apparently there's nothing wrong with using me for services but intimacy is out of the question
Ill make sure to count my money slowly in front of people like that then. To clarify our standing then
>>17182632
In between one and three years usually.
You're the second guy? Keep your cool. You don't want a girlfriend you needed to push into becoming your girlfriend. It's only worth it if she reaches the conclusion that she wants you by herself.
>>17179938
you blew it
>>17180497
tell him to get exclusive or leave, you stupid slut
Girls
This'll be a weird one
How impressed are you by a guys dancing skills?
>>17182642
Put your big boy pants on. You make money by feeding people's addictions, you see at least some people who are desperate and make a mess out of their life, what you do is illegal. That in itself is enough for most people to look at sex with you as trashy. Then there is the well known trope of the girl who wants to pay with her body because she so desperately needs the fix she doesn't have cash for. So then you have the added stigma that you're probably disease ridden.
Don't worry, you can get laid, but you have better odds hanging around druggy people where you'll have status for being a dealer, as opposed to approaching your clients which is both unprofessional and gives you worse odds because some of them will be embarrassed enough to visit you in the first place.
There definitely are girls who will do inane shit for some free drugs. Wear a condom.
And yeah, there's nothing wrong with using you as a dealer and not wanting sex. How can you read that sentence and not realize that's what it entails to be their dealer and not their lover? If you offer a service that's as in demand as selling drugs, don't get offended that people just want what you offer and not who you are.
>>17180742
Flirting is two attractive people feeling each other out and enjoying each others attractiveness in a casual manner
>How do you notice if there is sexual tension between you and another person?
There isn't any
>How do you make a move?
"I enjoyed talking with you, gimme your number so we can talk more later"
>Why is this shit so fucking complex?
It's not, unless you're ugly
>>17182643
thanks what i though, thanks senpai, gotta try for a couple of months
>>17181060
>guys why is my bf upset that my childhood was shitty
maybe because he fucking loves you, idiot
is he supposed to be happy?
>>17182661
If he's really good, I would definitely pay more attention to him. But if he's cocky about it (especially if he's not as good as he thinks he is), that attitude is a turnoff.
Also, being well-groomed and asking a woman to dance with you is still very romantic.
>>17182661
It's not something I expect out of a partner, but it is very attractive.
>>17182669
>It's not, unless you're ugly
What a shallow understanding of possible human conditions.
That sort of interaction is not instinctive. People learn it over time, usually in their teens. The ones who miss that phase in social growth are shit out of luck later in their life, regardless of how attractive they may, or may not be.
>>17182666
You seem to have the impression I deal with concentrated substances. Only wax in that regard- i work with flower for the most part.
Feed people's addictions? You mean grown adults who make grown up decisions? No, I don't feel guilty at all.
Illegal? Are legality and morality the same? No not even close.
You don't need to explain how this game works I know the rules. I simply offer a product and service. Doesn't mean you need to like me.
Im simply asking why you dont if im a nice, clean guy who wants intimacy. Where should i go to find this if im mainly dealing with customers as my primary way of interacting with people
>>17181230
>No, it's not okay to be a dick.
Except that's the best way to succeed in life. Being nice and inoffensive is a straight shot to a lonely unfulfilled life.
>>17182687
I have been told i'm very good (at least in shuffling to future house [shit taste i know]) by a friend of mine who happens to be a chick and a pro show dancer. But i have no idea about waltz and such, been a long time since i've done that kinda stuff.
>>17182049
Male and no
Those kikes aren't gonna jew me again. I am circumcised and it's monstrous
>>17182175
because you're an incel and that shit's gross
>>17182695
no, it is instinctive, but if you're ugly, or have a bad reputation, or stupid or whatever the other person won't play and it takes two to tango
It is LITERALLY instinct
stop trying to flirt rape women and you'll figure it out
>>17182701
Yeah, if you don't specify what you deal I assume you dabble in both softdrugs and harddrugs. I guess that will make it a bit easier but where I live weed isn't illegal so it's hard to judge how a pot dealer would register with an average citizen elsewhere for me.
That you are not to blame for others' choices doesn't mean that your business isn't shady. Though I guess for weed/hash it does not really matter. But the very idea itself that you make money out of other people's vices and often weakness/escapism is off putting to plenty. That has less to do with you being responsible and more with being part of the scene and having active involvement.
>Are legality and morality the same
No, but it does make a difference for many people whether something is illegal or not. I am telling you how it comes across on average, not whether philosophically or whatever you are doing something wrong.
It does not sound like you understand it if you're sore about not getting personal attention from your customers.
I told you already. Because to many people the very fact that you're a dealer means you are NOT a nice, clean guy. Or at least, they don't want to get close enough to find it out. This includes people who sell from you. Weird, maybe, but how many guys who watch porn would be disgusted by a real pornstar?
I can tell you from being part of a female clique with some enthusiastic users, dealers do pull this kind of crap. They sometimes drop lines about being open to different forms of payment or whatever. And what you do is smile and brush it off and make a mental note to look out for another dealer who doesn't make comments like that.
Can't you just try tinder?
>>17182747
I guess if I put on a suit and called myself a CEO it'd be different. I came here looking for an alternative answer but just reaffirmed what I already knew. I'm going to build capital to invest into legal outlets. Then once I have a solid background for credit, and employees to handle business, Ill just start traveling and seeing new things.
Hopefully i meet Her on the way
>>17182731
I don't understand what you are talking about? What's incel, and what's gross?
>>17182789
There's a lot in between being a drug dealer and a CEO... but good luck with your plan.
>>17182800
Yeah its how much money they have.
Lol but in all seriousness there isn't much at all actually.
That's the secret to being a businessman. Once you understand the fundamentals how people work and how business works.... It just takes a goal, ambition and captial.
I wouldn't expect a woman to get this though. I've noticed many of you conform to the system. Can't really think for yourselves.
Guess it won't matter though when I have legal outlets.
Thanks for the good luck wish.
fellow ladies pls help
the moon is full and it is that time of the year to buy new bras
except i'm confused about my size
after measuring i have had many different sizes given to me
34E, 35F, 30DD, 32D, etc
what do? what get?
>>17182848
Go to store. Try on bras. Find one that fits and is comfortable. Ask someone whose job it is to help you to help you if you need to. Buy it. Don't put too much weight on the sizes themselves, they can vary heaps between stores and brands.
>>17182848
you go try them on. those measurements are too far apart to be useful
>>17182856
what this goy said. there isn't any standardization amongst clothes retailers so an xl from one company can be anothers medium. it's the same with bras
so when you find one that fits well buy a bunch of them
t. man
I'm I an asshole for breaking up with my GF because I'm a miserable person myself and know in the long run she would be a happier person without me? She loved me a lot and I still love her but I just... I have really bad chronic depression and always will my entire life and I have no motivation to do anything ever. I am educated, skilled, and have the respect of most people in my field but I have no desire or motivation to seek out employment or do anything beyond flappin'about.
I just want to stay indoors all day and work. I have no desires to go out for dinners, or events, or zoos, or museums, or parks or movies, or play video games. Because of my AD medication, that does nothing other than negative side effects, I have absolutely no sex drive. She is incredibly beautiful and I am attracted to her but I just... it's so hard for me to care about anything. If I could just lay in bed all day I would and still kinda do.
I really love her and want her to have a happy, normal life and she can't get that from me. I just stress her out and make her feel bad about herself. Despite what I tell her she just says things like "I can't make you happy" or "you think I'm ugly" which isn't the case at all.
A lot of people think I'm "sad" or "emo" because I can't get a GF but they have no idea about what's happened to me or what I go through every day. I had and still even could get any girl I wanted. There are multiple girls right now that would like to be with me but I choose not to because that don't understand how extremely introverted I am and how depression works.
When telling them this they go "Oh! I'm introverted too and would rather stay in on a friday than go out." and they clearly don't mean that. I deleted all my social media sites because I have given up completely on being normal or being with anyone. It's best for everyone for me to be alone.
>>17182928
You should have talked to her, if you didnt in my book that was a stupid thing to do
The breakup is somewhat in the middle ground
Its good and bad for different reasons
Meeting up in a few days with a girl I'm friends with. Just friends. We made offhand plans to check out a nearby landmark, and since I have to travel quite a bit I don't really know what to do with it. That landmark isn't too big, and possibly I'll be traveling longer than the time we spend there.
Should I offer some other stuff to do when we're done there? What kind of stuff? I'm not interested or anything, but just saying bye after 15 minutes of meeting up doesn't sit right with me when we planned this out several days ahead.
>>17182941
get lunch and do other stuff, faggot. or just don't go
something like
>meet at landmark
>fuck around taking pictures
>get lunch
>check out big local museum
>check out art museum
>get dinner/drinks
>go home
or go to her place and watch a movie or whatever it is you do with freinds
just because she has a vagina doesn't make her special
>>17182941
Read the freaking OP about ideas for first dates. You can do that stuff with 'just friends' too.
>>17182962
>but duh vajeeeeeena!
I keep setting up "dates" but every time we set up a certain day, she has to reschedule. This has happened 3 times. Am I so worthless she can't even make time for me or is it something else? Should I keep trying or should I move on
>implying I know how to because I'm a functioning, balanced human being
>>17182603
On top, don't draw back so high. Think more grind than thrust. That'll keep him from slipping out.
On how to make yourself feel better, masturbate more and more creatively. Learn your body. Try new things.
