/adv/ with dealing with shitty people on /adv/?
the worst is
>IM AN INTROVERT BUT IM MISERABLE
how can we nicely tell someone that they arent an introvert if they are miserable being an introvert?
>>17181759
>how can we nicely tell someone that they arent an introvert if they are miserable being an introvert?
The thing is, that's not necessarily true. Most introverts are not loners.
Generally speaking, an extravert finds being around people to be energizing, while an introvert finds being around people to be draining. This is literally all that it is; everything else follows from it.
And because of that, it is quite possible for introverts to feel lonely, and to crave human contact. There are other reasons that they might avoid human contact, but those have nothing to do with whether or not they are introverts.
So when someone says they're "miserable being an introvert", the first step is in understanding why they avoid human contact. Many people have this idea that they "shouldn't" seek human contact if they're introverted, or that being introverted causes them to avoid human contact: neither is true.
The next step is to understand the differences in the needs of introverts. Most introverts do need social contact, like extraverts do, but they need it in smaller doses and more intimate settings. An extravert may be able to keep on going until their body gives out, but an introvert is going to need some alone time much sooner: they get "peopled out" and need to recharge. The other thing they need is some method of recharging, which is going to be different for each person. Lastly, if they crave contact but avoid it anyway, the reason for this needs to be resolved.
An introvert who doesn't have these three things -the ability to reach out, the ability to get contact in small doses, and something that lets them recharge- yes, they're going to be miserable as introverts. But they are no less introverts for that.
Can you reword your post to make more sense? If not, can you at least tell me if I'm understanding you correctly? My understanding is...
>Be you
>People have told you that you are an introvert/are introverted.
>You don't think that is true because you are "miserable" and not happy with your lifestyle as if you desire to be social.
Did I get that right? In the event I did here is what I have to say...
This really depends on the definition of "introvert." If you are shy, lack the desire to have your thoughts known ( expressing them anonymously does not count ) by those around you, withdrawn from those around you, lacking in confidence and usually inward-looking then you most likely are an introvert. That is how ( American and many other ) societies define introversion.
Introverts are not introverts because they enjoy being introverted or alone. They are so because they are incapable of and/or are bad at dealing with the social aspects of life. I know an introvert; he hangs out only with himself and one of my other friends and is almost incapable of grasping a lot of social concepts in spite of being well educated. Our get-togethers are almost exclusively in his mom's basement ( once or twice a year they may be elsewhere ) and when he does leave that sanctuary it is either for a family function he has no choice but to socialize in or for schooling/working.
He has stated in the past being introverted bothers him but he realizes he is. It sounds like you might be in a similar situation. If you feel I'm wrong point out why; we'll work together on figuring out a solution to your question anon.
>>17181759
>/adv/ with dealing with shitty people on /adv/?
Ignore their posts
>>17181813
Deep title.
>>17181759
Some people have behaviors that are contradictory to their personal goals.
For example, I used to have a problem with my work ethic and reaching my full potential academically. There was a point in time during my life (I would say that it lasted several years) when I was in a very turbulent and insecure state of mind, in which I would actively avoid trying anything that I knew there was a possibility I would fail at. The irony behind this is that becoming the best person I possibly could was something I desired, but I was afraid to challenge myself, despite the fact that I knew it was essential in accomplishing this goal.
I believe this issue that seems to be very prevalent in this site is analogous to this circumstance. Many people here desire to have an active and healthy social life, but are afraid to push their boundaries and adopt the extroverted habits that introduce them to new friends and acquaintances and develop better social skills. It seems very common here.
I used to think I was an introvert for a long time, but the crippling loneliness that I felt during extended periods of time in solitude during my high school years invalidated that belief.
>How do you nicely tell someone that they are not an introvert if they are miserable being an introvert
You don't. It's not that easy to get rid of a complex.
>>17181813
was gonna post this. Introvertedness can be a great tool, living in an area that covets extrovertedness can make you feel like shit.
>>17181807
Introversion and social incompetence are not the same thing.
