How obvious is it if someone's been roofied? Can I just drug myself without my date noticing?

>>17177729
>black out/pass out/block memory/disassociate for a few hours on demand on a regular basis?
Usually people use benzodiazepines (eg valium) for what I think you want. They're not disassociative, but they get the job done.

But you should really go to a shrink and get your mental problems diagnosed and treated properly, OP.

>>17177777
Witnessed those quints, but what the fuck are you even asking here?
Why would you want to roofie yourself?

>>17177802
Because I hate sex but want a parnter, and the way gay dating works, the best I can do is go to a bar and get fucked again and again and again until one of them likes me enough to stick around.

It's like buying lottery tickets. I just need to learn to care less about my body than losing loose change.

>>17177817
First, there are certain pharmacological ways to deal with this. Benzos are usually used. Barbiturates work as well but are much more dangerous. Beta blockers work a little bit if you can't take either of those (this is why they're used in PTSD before acting out traumatic experiences, eg in active desensitization regimens).
Rohypnol and GHB are undesirable since they just fuck you up and knock you out, you won't be able to have decent sex (like a ragdoll) and almost every gay guy will be totally unsatisfied with the experience.

But seriously OP, you need to go to a psychiatrist, not a gay bar.
Most fags aren't crazy, they won't be down for abusing a lunatic.
You need to get your issues sorted out before even thinking of dating. I don't say that to everyone, but you sound pretty damn strung out and need serious help.

>>17177817
What a weird view you have.

>>17177834
I have disagreements with the psychiatric professionals about whether my case is serious, and every time I share anything with them, I just get a punishment for it. I'm better off the less they really know.

Can any of those pills be mixed with alcohol?

>>17177836
If it looks stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

>>17177845
>I have disagreements with the psychiatric professionals about whether my case is serious, and every time I share anything with them, I just get a punishment for it. I'm better off the less they really know.
Then you need to find a new psychiatrist, most likely.
Care to explain the issues with them, and how they're punishing you for sharing? That's not a healthy doctor-patient relationship, to say the least.

And preferably no alcohol with any of them in principle (that's what the pharmacist will tell you), but it won't kill you unless you combine enough of both. Drink much less than you usually would, preferably no more than 2 drinks with any benzos and 1 with barbiturates. And this depends on the dose of course: if you take enough of the drug to be close to blackout, don't drink any alcohol at all.
With beta blockers you can handle as many drinks as your heart and respiration rate can take, ie they will make you pass out much faster but won't kill you in any special way.
Ideally talk to the bartender at some point and tell him you want no or only a little alcohol in your drinks.

Again would be better to do this with a psychiatrist and get a legal prescription for the meds, along with extensive therapy.

>>17177878
When I first told them I cut and asked for antidepressants, they gave me antipsychotics. When I downed the whole box as a kind of a breakdown protest, they had my pills locked up and doled them out one by one. When I told them the pills don't work, they quadrupled my dose. When they heard I'm still cutting, they halted all the processes to get the medication I'd been after in the first place.

Every time I act out, every time I tell them something, they'll take away something that makes me feel better. If they take alcohol from me I am going to kill myself.

>>17177893
Do you live in a psychiatric hospital? If not, how do they have control over your alcohol intake?

Unless you're involuntarily committed/sectioned (in which case you need to focus on treatment and get un-committed/sectioned ASAP before doing anything else), you really have to get a new psychiatrist.
That sounds like a more pressing problem than needing a partner since it threatens your life, not just your happiness. What country are you in?

>>17177943
Finland. The only time I've been committed was for two weeks after a suicide attempt three years ago, but if you don't obey their arbitrary demands they'll pull the "if you don't co-operate we can't help you" and you get branded as a difficult patient for the rest of your life.

I asked to be transferred once (when I was 18), from the youth side to adult side. I was told I don't *have to* be transferred before I'm 25. I said I want to be transferred or I'll quit going. I was told I can keep coming to the youth side or quit coming. I quit going to the sessions and tried to kill myself a year later.

This time I'm going to the adult side, and I am fully prepared to lie my eyes out if that's what it takes to maintain whatever fragments of freedom they see fit to allow me.

>>17177966
Can you choose another psychiatric center, or an individual psychiatrist's office?

And be extremely careful about lying to them. Without advanced psychological training this usually leads to a random misdiagnosis and treatment with random medication that usually makes the problem worse.
What have they diagnosed you with, anyway? Current treatment plan?

>>17178008
To be transferred to another centre, I'll have to be legally booked to another city, which would mean abandoning my home, family, job and friends and move to a whole different town if not county, and I don't have the resources for that.

I am currently diagnosed with gender identity disorder and poor stress coping methods (which is why they have not allowed me to transition already). From my own perspective, it's GID and being put under unreasonable amounts of stress by withholding treatment.

It's like punching someone in the face for having a headache and then saying the headache can't be treated because you have a black eye.

>>17177729
In all honesty OP, the only thing that comes close to what you're asking for is self-hypnosis. Check to see if you find the /OMG/ thread (Occult & Magick Genera)l over at /x/

They usually got a massive library on hypnosis sticky in the OP

>>17178026
Why exactly did they put you on antipsychotics then? None of them help whatsoever with day-to-day coping.
Guessing you're not on any meds right now since no shrink.

Might want to look into taking long and short-acting anxiolytics/antidepressants on your own, especially if they keep giving you the run-around.
Can get a couple of the russian meds shipped cheaply over to finland: they're legal in most of the first-world EU (ie not eastern europe).
Phenibut may help quite a bit, it's essentially a soviet version of pregabalin (Lyrica). I'd suggest trying it. Can be found from sellers like eg rupharma (who also sell and ship a whole bunch of other russian meds, along with anabolics and such.
fabomotizol (Afobazol), memantine, bromantane, and selank/semax are basically non-standard special russian anxiolytic drugs that might be worth a try as well, many have reported good results.

What does the legal process for city transfer take? Can't you theoretically transfer your address to that town and simply drive there every time you have an appointment, but live in current place for your job?

Looked into private clinics? Check out the rates, you might be able to afford a few appointments (enough to get prescriptions and referrals). And they're typically far, far more respectful and helpful since you're paying them directly (and more than the public docs).

Side note: I keep replying extensively to all of your threads, i actually was wondering if it was you by the OP pic. I'm probably on /adv/ too much but it helps me cope with my crippling anxiety issues.

>>17178115
They put me on antipsychotics to help as sleeping aid. I mentioned that I cut AT NIGHT, so they figured if I was asleep, I wasn't cutting. I didn't think self-harm is a symptom of insomnia but they treated it as such.

I can't break the law because of my anxiety. For as long as I haven't done anything wrong for real, I can keep telling myself that my fears are irrational, and that is not a crutch I can afford to lose.

The unfortunate matter is, the only way to transition is through public health care. Anything else is literally illegal, unless I get treatments abroad, and I don't have the spoons to move out of mom's basement, not to speak of the country.

>>17178128
>They put me on antipsychotics to help as sleeping aid.
Hm. That's usually considered a bad idea, except for quetiapine, and even that's not so great imo. They just do it since they're not abusable like anxiolytics.
They like to do the whole sedatives-before-bed thing because it's a standard regimen and easy (lazy) way to shorten dangerous parts of the day.

The russian meds are legal to buy and ship from overseas in most advanced countries (eg the US).
I understand your apprehension, i'm in eastern europe right now and don't want to ship anything here since the law is basically "we do what we please" (they haven't evolved much since the wall fell, the customs law and officials are the same, bribery is considered traditional, etc).
Should be easier in finland, though. Normally the pharma authorities have a website where you can check the legal (otc/prescription/unregulated) status of various meds.

And about the private clinics, i mean for a simple psych visit to sort out the current issues (anxiety + depression?). They can prescribe you an antidepressant and send you to a proper therapist without having to wait months, it's just that you have to figure out whether you can cover the appointment cost.

>>17178180
It was, indeed, quetiapine.

I HAVE to be able to tell myself, with 100% certainity, that there is absolutely no possible way in any matter that I am in trouble. I need to be able to reassure myself that I'm safe. It's vital.

I've already waited for months. I'm seeing a psychiatrist on thursday this week. I do not have the emotional energy to function on any level higher than I do now.

>>17178194
Yeah i know that feel. This country drives me absolutely nuts, everything here is done under-the-table. Lying, cheating, stealing, bribing, covering-up, etc are features of everyday life. Not comfortable with one bit of it.

Good that you're finally seeing that shrink. Hopefully it goes well and they can help move things along. Good luck on that end.