Hi 4chan, it's the 23 year old with the abusive father again. It's just me and him in the house due to a divorce and my older brother moving out last week. That's a long story.
So I tell my Dad I'm going out for the weekend to sleep over at a friend's house as to whom I'm considering being a roommate of. I can afford to live there, it's just that my father doesn't think I'm ready.
So my weekend goes as this, I stay at my friend's for the weekend and then I drive up to see my girlfriend's graduation, in which my father has instructed me to break up with her, even when I have no intention of doing so. It's her graduation, and my presence means a lot to her, but little do I know that I'm breaking my father's rules of seeing her and he ordered just a few days ago that I was to break up with her for the sake of "being a man." To him, "being a man" is not being coddled by others and being on my own, in which he believes my girlfriend coddles me. This is not true at all.
So I come home today, and my Dad's making me steak on the grill, he asks me how I want it cooked, and then I go to my room to find ALL of my possessions except my light, my bed, and my clothes completely confiscated.
Apparently he found out about my whereabouts because he put a tracker on my car before I left. Now I'm no longer allowed to leave the house until I get a job, and that job is to be the only place I'm allowed to drive to in the future once I get one.
>>17176621
The worse part is, I don't even know where the hell I can get a job. I've had at least 3 jobs in the past after I graduated college, but neither of them worked out for me and each time I quit the job, my father abuses me and nearly killed me the last time I quit my job. I don't know where I should even begin looking because he has to know what I'm working as and only he can be satisfied with so few jobs.
The even worse part is, I am now convinced that my father truly wants me dead. Think about it, he wants to control me by forcing me to cut off ties with everyone else except for him and only him. He wants to control me like he did to my mother, and since the divorce, that's all he's been. I'm worried that now my phone will be taken away by him and that I'll be nothing but his slave for good.
I literally have no escape /adv/, any last resort ideas that I should do before I try becoming barbaric from all this bottled up rage towards all of this?
If you can afford to live with your friend what's stopping you from doing that? You're 23, your father has no legal control over you anymore..
>>17176621
Had an abusive parent this hits home, im not going to sugar coat anything and I cant know if youre just being an ungreatful little shit or omitting things to skewer the story in your favor so ill just take you at your word.
Leave now, be gone and out on your own asap I dont care what you have to say, your fears, or reasons they dont matter PERIOD.
If thats the level of manipulation / control hes trying to have over his 23 year old son theres something wrong with him and you need to leave by any means and if necessary cut off contact unless he respects you as a person.
You also need to learn to manage money so you dont need to risk going back or putting you back at his mercy again.
He can't actually do any of this. Just leave. Can't you stay with your brother or mom for a few days while you get your shit together? Tell the police he stole your stuff and if he tries to stop you from leaving call the police. Establish a record by reporting him so that they can help you.
>>17176633
He says only if I have a job that he approves of, is the only way he'll let me out, and only when he says I'm ready to be let out.
But the thing is, I have all my past earnings as a blueprint for where I want to live, and he just took all my money away for paying him 2 years worth of rent FOR him.
>>17176653
He'll find out if I leave, there's a tracker on my car and he'll hunt me down if he pleases. He's got a gun.
>>17176656
>But the thing is, I have all my past earnings as a blueprint for where I want to live, and he just took all my money away for paying him 2 years worth of rent FOR him.
Small claims court, call your state bar and explain to a lawyer what happened and go from there.
>>17176664
Just leave, take the bus if you have to. Being homeless is better than this, it really is.
>>17176667
He'll find out what I'm doing though. And he'll probably just take my phone away if I initiate contact.
I'm fucked until then. I guess I'll just put up with his shit, I don't want to be kept being deprived, it's enough.
>>17176670
He'll just find me and take me back home. You don't know what type of father this is, he's THIS possessive of me.
>>17176675
>I don't want to be kept being deprived, it's enough.
Dude your problem isnt your father its you, you place too many barriers in front of yourself.
You know what you need to do, you have started to enjoy not doing it and the pity it gets you.
It all boils down to two simple options, leave or dont.
>>17176685
But he knows exactly where I go. The only way I could possibly leave is being homeless. Even then, he'll try and find me because he needs to control others to live.
I'm like the last person he has control over, and I don't want to keep upsetting him to the point that he'll murder me in the end for not listening to him.
If I call the police, he'll take my phone away before they can even come here. The only person I'm allowed to talk to on the phone is him, he's actually blocked the police for me, mind you.
Thankfully he doesn't have tracking on my computer. I can still post these threads and he still won't know this is completely anonymous.
As I said before, if he finds me homeless, he'll just seize me and lock me up. I have no escape unless I go THAT far away.
>>17176695
so take a greyhound bus or train.
>>17176695
>The only way I could possibly leave is being homeless
Can you work?
If the answer is yes we both know thats not true.
Leave or dont everything else is just baggage and unimportant in the long run.
Do i stay or do i go?
>>17176701
I'd have to go to Vineland or Philly for that. But I can't walk there unless I can hitch a ride there. Either way, he put GPS on my phone if you remember. Maybe I should leave without it?
>>17176702
While I can, I'm not sure what job I'll be OK with that he'll be OK with too.
>>17176735
Yes, leave EVERYTHING behind.
>>17176735
>While I can, I'm not sure what job I'll be OK with that he'll be OK with too.
His opinion doesnt enter into it.
Leave or dont it really is that simple, everything else is baggage or a minor detail youll need to work out. (Like anon suggesting taking a bus.)
Do you leave or do you stay.
No more statements from you or help from me, thats what it boils down to thats the end of the discussion the rest is on you to act.
kek your situation is humorous to me because it sounds like some kind of summer comedy flick
pack your stuff and leave
or make a trap that will cripple your father
you need to get out before you are literally nothing
Challenge him to a fight.
Movie out. Stay with your friend. If your father tries to collect you have your friend call the cop and have him arrested for abduction.
Op take all the money you have , a toothbrush , some canned food , some clothes , a lighter, ecr. And leave. Only take the essentials leave your car and phone behind. Use the money to buy one of those shitty prepaid phones, nothing fancy just to call. See if you can stay with any other family member and explain the situation, if not fucking jump and learn to fly, take a grey hound somewhere far, be prepared to be homeless, looking into shelters and food banks. Bring nice clothes with you so you can apply for a job and work anywhere you can, you cannot be picky working at McDonalds beats being homeless. If you can find the tracker and take it out the car and leave having a car will make things a lot easier but if that's not an option then you gotta leave it behind. Would also reccomend bringing a tent if possible. Fucking sucks annon I hope things work out for you. Keep us updated.
Move out already. That's your only choice.
Leave first, call the cops once you get to a safe place. Explain the situation to them. Tell them you're genuinely worried he might kill you. But leave NOW.
>>17176876
Sort of this.
Get in your car and drive your local police station. Tell them what's going on. They'll probably be able to find the tracker in your car and can probably organise for you to collect your possessions.
>>17176621
Op, take everything you have and go live with a friend or something, call the police do all of that shit. If your dad has a tracker on your phone, leave it at home and buy a pay as you go phone until you can get the tracker removed. You've gotta take care of yourself, man; you're 23 and he shouldn't be controlling you anymore.
>>17176892
This.
OP, you are twenty three years old.
Despite the fact that he is crazy and controlling, you can actually get up and walk out. You can drive to the nearest police station and calmly explain your entire situation. They can help you find the tracker (they have sweepers for them) and remove it. After that, you can file a restraining order. The first one will be temporary, and then you go in front of a judge and tell them all the crazy shit your father has done, as well as stealing your money. Move in with your friend and get a job, anything will do. Oh and everything you do on your cellphone is probably being traced so just keep that in mind. Maybe not browser history but calls and texts for sure.
Don't you dare reply with this 'hurr, he'll find me' shit. If he does, you call the police and he goes to jail for violating his restraining order.
>>17177885
cont.
You are ALLOWING him to abuse you. Anything he does to you, you have ALLOWED him to do by remaining in this situation. I understand you may FEEL that he has total control over you, and at one point he did, but you are 23 now and have a lot of resources.
>>17176621
>>17176622
Like the other anons have said, you just wait till he leaves for work, get your shit from wherever he "confiscated" it to, take whatever else you need, and get the fuck out.
First to the cops to get the tracker removed, then across the country to wherever you have any friends/family or your older brother.
>>17176675
>>17176677
That's called kidnapping and false imprisonment, it's illegal and you report his ass directly to the cops if he tries it.
Get a restraining order taken out on him, most of these idiots aren't so tough when the cops are involved.
>>17176621
TL;DR
leave, get on welfare and live CHEAP until you get a job. Stop being a faggot and do it. I went through a similar situation where I nearly died. There is no smart solution. Just go, since you're obviously too much of a pussy to beat him down. I understand the way you feel, now go.
