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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 990. page
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File: cantwakeup.gif (164 KB, 494x332) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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my question is:
> How can I become an alpha?
simple as that

all alpha stories and advice are welcome
20 replies and 6 images submitted. Click here to view.
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20% of being alpha is working out....
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>>17013858

by being alpha. and also being born with some qualities inherent to alphas.

i think the big issue is that if you are trying to be an alpha, you arent going to be one. its like wanting to be cool. or popular. wanting to be those things is counter productive. its like asking 'how can i NOT think about penguins?' if ur thinking about not thinking about penguins, you already lost.

being alpha wont make you happy anyways. those people are happy because they are doing what they want to do. do...
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i drank some water just now but after i finished swallowing i had to keep swallowing for no reason.
9 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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An early sign of MS.
>>
Maybe you're dehydrated
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>>17013847
>after i finished swallowing i had to keep swallowing

You weren't actually finished swallowing.

Why do my eyes look like this when I wake up?
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File: unnamed (1).gif (771 KB, 480x228) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>17013839
Because you stay up all night looking at cheeze pizza
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>>17013839
Because you're tired/genetics. Put your eye cream in the fridge overnight. Putting cold cream under the eyes will help lighten the complexion - it constricts the blood vessels
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>>17013865
my sleep schedule is pretty damn solid, 8-12 hours most nights.
My eyes are pretty bloodshot and sometimes hard to keep open though. Could it be my contact lenses?

File: VegetaPeace.jpg (57 KB, 459x431) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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...I just got a noise complaint for playing music / watching tv "above normal volume" when I DID NOT DO SO.

>Last week, I tried a little of the newest Call of Duty around 4:30pm.
>Loud banging proceeds from the floor above, even though I really am NOT playing too loud.
>Receive a call from the woman who lives in the apartment above mine (and also happens to be a member of the board here) explaining that she had just given birth to a baby.
>She...
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Just tell the truth and you think that she is taking her new found stress unrightfully out on you, though you can understand it you won't stand for a official wright-up when it's unjust. also you could try squeezing in somewhere you served som people have a soft spot for that.
>>
I guess the only think you can do is confront her. Ask he pr if she made the complaint,and if she did, why? Did you not turn it down enough? Is she just a bitch?

Honestly, this is just one of those shitty ass things about living in an apartment. Before we got our house we had upstairs neighbors, and they were awful, we could basically never ever use our surround sound at any volume. I could be playing some game on 7 volume (out of like 50), with my 2 year old sleeping in the very next room with the door open, but they claimed that it made their whole apartment shake,...
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>>17013814
defecate in her mailbox

File: yutanpo.jpg (86 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Well I just asked her out while we were texting and she went silent. I'm expecting the worst.

If you tell me how bad I'm going to get cucked, /adv/, maybe that will take the edge off the rejection when it comes.
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17013773
Asked her out in what way? As in, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" or "Do you want to go to X with me?" How you word something says everything. Also, how close were you two beforehand?
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>>17013773

think of it this way. you were single before. so no matter what happens now your life will be almost exactly the same as it was before. literally the only difference is you wont be obsessing wondering what shes thinking.

you are not being cucked. you arent even being 'rejected'. its just not a shared interest mate.
>>
Oftentimes the girl freaks out a little. Give her time.

Also, date other chicks.

File: IMG_5480.png (221 KB, 750x1334) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Just took an "EIQ" test because I'm fucking miserable and google searched "what is wrong with me." Found this test and of course I got a low score: 82 (average being 100)

What the fuck am I supposed to do with this:

>The bad news is that due to your low emotional intelligence, your life is negatively impacted in all aspects. Your life probably is miserable.

>The good news is that if you fix your problem, your problem will be fixed, and you won't be miserable anymore.
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64, apparently.

At least my regular IQ can offset that, 122.
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Hm I thought I would score higher
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>>17013750

your life is what it has been, and will continue to be that. a test doesnt change your life at all.

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So I've been friends with this guy for almost 11 years., we're both seniors in high school and I definitely have some kind of crush on him. Honestly I have no clue if he's gay or not but I suspect that he may be. He grew up in a very conservative family and he acts like he's homophobic but in all the time I've known him he's never had any girlfriends, has super high standards when it comes to girls (says very attractive, 7-9/10, girls are ugly for stupid reasons, and says some pretty gay stuff (makes a lot of dick jokes). We spend almost every weekend...
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6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17013739
>homophobic, must be gay
>takes 4 dicks up ass, must be a man with a defined heterosexual orientation
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>>17013739
He's gay. Probably going to be an angry latent homosexual from the sound of it
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>>17013739
>what should I do?
Just ask him. It may destroy your friendship, but really, if that's all it takes, you're not good friends anyway.

File: JACK OFF.png (48 KB, 2432x562) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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The image is 100% true. I have never masturbated in my life.

I have just recently began to try to use lotion to masturbate. I sit there for like 5 minutes stroking it, reapplying lotion a few times, and while it gets hard at the start, my penis literally just starts softening up on me. I dont use huge amounts of lotion, just enough to get my hands coated in it.

When I'm masturbating, I don't even start precumming., but I do get hard and even precum when I am just seeing dirty pictures or messaging with a girl on Kik. I know I can orgasm, because I have...
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>>17013718
Buddy, next time, don't use one for ants.
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>>17013708
Is there a reason why you haven't? If it's due to a lack in sex drive, you may have low testosterone and should look into getting yourself tested.

File: Emo_Dandy.jpg (89 KB, 960x540) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I can't seem to get women. I know im attractive but I also no im really autstic/dumb. I've read models and it got me a gf but we broke up so I know I'm lovable at least. What can I do to stop wasting my potential?
9 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>trying to understand women

kek
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>>17013704
Just give me some help. There's nothing more infuriating than seeing literal weeaboo trash and skinny fat losers getting women while I'm stuck in the dirt when I'm obviously far better. It's one this to get treated like low rank trash because you are. But I have far more value.
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>>17013724
It's not supposed to make sense. There is literally no reason to be jealous or angry about this.
There is no way of 'getting it' when it comes to this kind of thing. Just wait and you'll end up meeting someone. This is literally the best advice.

File: 1459097797792.jpg (43 KB, 507x386) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>Be me
>Senior in high school
>Finally got gf
>Both our first relationship
>Don't know what we're doing
>Still haven't held her hand
Help me out with my charisma, buds
34 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>senior in high school
Just don't be a dick.
There, you're already ahead of the game.
>>
>Finally got gf
>no actual physical contact
Um...... doesn't sound like you have a girlfriend, bro.
>>
>also senior in hs
>think I'll finally get a gf
>involve myself everywhere and put myself out there
>become well known for breaking an over decade old weightlifting record
>all I get are bitches playing games
I feel so above this yet so upset I see lesser men with girls while I'm left jack shit. I'm better than this and that is the upsetting part.

>Bipolar (I think) gf
>Breaks up with me for no reason
>Can barley function the whole day
>Apologizes, knowing i'm so hopelessly in love with her that I'll always take her back.
>It's just emotional abuse at this point.

She's done this twice in the last 6 months. Should I talk to her about receiving therapy or just walk away? I'm in constant fear that she''l hurt me again. She's...
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20 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17013668
Walk away. She doesn't love you, she is just using you as entertainment.
>>
Stay only if you think the abuse is worth it. Don't take her shit so seriously.
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Breaks up for no reason? No reason at all?

If that's the case, walk away.

What is the resolution for her to take you back? Not enough info man, it doesn't make sense.

I am going to buy a shirt for a girl on her birthday, I don't know which style I should get for a casual friendship.
>V-neck
>Fitted Scoop
>Relaxed Fit
>T-Shirt

I don't know what is appropriate to get, she is 20.
20 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17013659
>I am going to buy a shirt for a girl on her birthday
>a casual friendship

None of the above. Do you even know her style?
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>>17013674
Its gonna be a shirt for an anime she really loves so the styles are limited to those choices. Should of included that in the OP
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>>17013659
What does she like.

File: 1342986487699.png (156 KB, 592x592) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>be a (technical) virgin*
>legit never done anything sexual with anyone ever
>legit a little scared of doing sexual things with others, in general, out of inexperience
>tfw actually really loose in the rear from playing with myself all the time

*I've never done anything with anyone else, but I play with myself a lot

I fear that my first time with an actual human being, it'll be terrible because my butt's already agape...
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10 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17013634
Ew.
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>>17013634
>I fear that my first time with an actual human being, it'll be terrible because my butt's already agape from the toys I use. Is that valid? Is that bad? I'm not a slut, I just love my own hands. But, y'know, all of my hands, like, the whole fist...?
What the fuck.
>>
feels good man

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Literally started from the bottom 2 years ago (I'm now 22) and while I do have a career going on, I feel like I have so much to catch up. I'll never be able to become a normie and will always be awkward with people (and forever a KV). I am not alpha, amazing or remotely good at something, just average. What's the point in living if the world, the universe only cares about the best of the best? If you aren't at the top, why bother living?
10 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17013530
wtf is a KV
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>>17013547
Kissless virgin
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>>17013552
Learn PUA. Don't take any rejection seriously. Don't rape anyone.

I'm very depressed and feeling suicidal. Best way to off myself?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17013525
Helllo, try getting a new perspective. Go out and meet new people. Find new friends. Change your old self. Rearrange your room and find inspiration. Share your time with others.
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>>17013525
http://www.depressed.net/suicide/suicidefaq.txt
>>
If you are depressed, before you try and take yourself out of this world, take your remaining time and money and just go somewhere live freely. Pick up and go, get out. Who knows maybe with a perspective and location change you won't feel like shit anymore.

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