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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 950. page
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File: rboggio.jpg (131 KB, 1407x647) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I want to make my girlfriend fat. What is the best way of going about this?
20 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17091066
Marry her
>>
>>17091073
Topkek

>>17091066
Do you just want tits?
Just get a girl with nice curves who is not a fat fuck
>>
>>17091066
Dump her. That generally makes girls fat, you control freak.

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Hey /adv/ how do i keep sex hot?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Stop watching porn and don't have sex unless it's going to be great sex.

When I have sex three days in a row with my gf, multiple times a day, we need to refresh by abstaining for a couple of days. having sex too many times too often leaves both partners drained and leads to mediocre sex.
>>
blankets. Not hot but mildly warm.
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>>17091387
Under rated post.

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I am not meeting milestones in life. It really hurts that I now try to pursue them and realize I am further behind than I thought. Making friends is difficult because people give off a vibe they capped off making friends and at the same time other people really made me feel awful about myself once I shared my disposition.

I am fucking scared that shit might not change. I held off for so long and fear nothing may work.
>family rejected me
>get rejection from people in life

I don't want to be...
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6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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I'll be your friend
>>
What do you want to accomplish or fix? What milestones are you missing?
>>
>>17091154
Well, I been in and out of college for a degree I don't know if it is worth it. I am very much a loner, never had friends. I see many family members passing me up in life even the ones younger than me.

What I want to do is finish school and make friends, have a actual life started before 30. I don't want to be dependent at home anymore.

>>17091105
Thanks.

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Give me an extremely degenerate way to masterbate. Something exciting
8 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17091046

Depending on your length and flexibility try sucking your own dick. Stretch a bunch first, don't hurt yourself. If you can't quite reach or just get the tip with your tongue then try to give yourself a facial or get it in your mouth.
>>
>>17091046

Another option is to try and self fuck your own asshole. This needs some prep work. You need to stretch your asshole out a good bit before you start. Again, use lube and don't hurt yourself.

You will need at least 6 inches and you will need to be able to sustain a partial erection. Watch videos on how to do this and helpful tips.

> Protip: Don't get lube on your shaft because you will need to grip it to get it in there.

It feels more like getting fucked...
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>>17091046

Whatever you do post the results.

File: image.jpg (99 KB, 917x477) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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This just happened with gf:
>lounging around apt.
> she walks into living room
>we hug and she playfully squeezes me as tightly as she can
>"now let me try that on you"
>I squeeze her until she says stop
>her: let's try that again but I'll make a sound the whole time to see how my voice changes when being squeezed
>ok, hug her again tightly....
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20 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17091031
I do things like this with my bf. You should just humor her. It feels bad to be rejected, even in a silly way like this.
>>
>>17091042
This.

Your girlfriend sounds adorable. Don't be such a dick.
>>
>>17091031
You told a woman "no". She is training you not to do it again

Hi /adv/, I've got a recurring problem with my boyfriend. We both like playing games together but he's got this competitive spirit that always surfaces. Normally nothing wrong with that, everyone gets competitive and it's fun. But he takes it to the extreme where he gets extremely butthurt and angry if I beat him, then he gives up on the game and gives me the silent treatment after. Sometimes I've lost on purpose just so he doesn't go batshit, but this is starting to wear on me and makes me not enjoy playing games with him anymore.

One example...
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16 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17091027
Please. Dump his ass. The fact that you can beat him AND that he's a fucking child about it is not attractive nor fun.

I lose my temper when my bf beats me at tennis, because I'm a sore sport. But I don't dwell on it or take it out on him. I just use it to try to get better.
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>>17091027
Beat his ass in vidya, then give him a blowjob

He'll forgive you
>>
>>17091027
That's nothing, just wait until you burn dinner.

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While I was driving home the other day, I started practicing asking girls out. And I realized, some phrases sound alright in my head, but sound really weird when I say them out loud.

example: Can i take you out sometime? Do you want to go out sometime? Lets grab a coffee.

They all sound so strange coming out of my mouth.

How do I not feel so weird about asking girls out?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Describe the weird feeling. How is it wierd?
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>>17091043

Its like my mouth wasn't designed to move that way, that sort of weird. Or like when you say a word a bunch of times and it doesn't sound like a real word
>>
Natural selection will clear it up in no time

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I'm in military basic training and while it isn't insufferably difficult, I've found I'm simply not a good fit for it. I'd rather live a simple civvie life and keep my individuality. My only motivation atm is to not disappoint my family, which is why I don't want to just ask for a leave request.

If I get in sickbay long enough, I'll miss enough classes to get recoursed to another platoon, but since no more are being made for the summer, I have to wait 4 months. Having to stay in this shithole another 4 months without progress is a decent...
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12 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Make good on your commitment and stop being a pussy.
You're in too deep now. Finish what you've started.
>>
>basic training
Stop being a little bitch and do your duty
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>>17090998
How were you allowed internet access pussy? They took our phones and there weren't computers anywhere we could get to them. Either way, it's time to fucking man up and finish it. I hated the Army, but it gave me skills to be a more successful person.

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I want to do bioengineering as a college major because I like bio and math and it's pretty cool. I've heard it's a shit major though.

Has anyone else had experience with this major?
6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17090988
It depends wholly on the school, since it's not an established engineering field like mechanical or chemical. Since you like math, you'll have an easier time than others, but depending on where you go to school for it you could be doing anything from only focusing on the medical side of it to focusing on standard engineering disciplines, but just slightly tweaked for a biological focus. Neither of those two extremes provides you with the knowledge you need as a bioengineer.

Also, unless you want...
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>>17091006
I'm going to UCSD for bioengineering. I've heard it has a good program, what are your thoughts on it?

I also plan to do research if that means anything.
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>>17091035
Fuck you, that's my thought on it. I wanted to study there but it was too expensive, so I had to go to a decent local state school. You sound like you'll be fine; you'll know in the first year whether you like the field or not.

File: tmp.png (333 KB, 640x640) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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What's the best way to tell my boyfriend I'm into ageplay/wincest?

We've talked about fetishes before, but I felt it was too early to disclose some of mine and I didn't want to scare him off.

fug I just want him to pick me up and hold me and be my qt azn dad ;-;
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17090970
Ageplay is weird. How young? Asian people are usually into incest, he might like that.
>>
>>17091055
I want him to treat me like a 6 year old. I know it sounds bad, I'm not a pedophile. I just like being treated like a small, clueless child.
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>>17091069
Do you know if he might be into that? Poke around a bit and see how he feels about it. Maybe don't bring up wanting to act like a 6 year old, start with like 15 or something. What kind of fetishes does he have? Vanilla stuff?

File: arisu.png (94 KB, 200x207) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Why do I see every woman as a potential sex partner? How do I stop seeing the world this way? How do I take things more professionally?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17090863

you are designed to see women as sex partners. you can attempt to get to know a few platonically but there are mixed results. being professional just means putting aside htings you can't resist thinking, and not acting upon them.

its the reason people are different at home than at the office.
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>>17090869
But it kind of hurts to think. Is there any way out of this?
>>
>>17090882

nope

File: chile.png (531 KB, 597x591) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I can't hear well with my left ear, it feels like something is inside it, and it hurts a bit.

This already happened in the past, I had to see the doctor, she put in some liquid in the same ear and a lot of disgusting crap came out of it, but the ear was alright and I could listen good again.

Anyone knows what's causing this and if I can do anything home made so i don't have to pay for medical care again?
9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17090860

ear wax, possible caused by using in-ear headphones.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CLEAN WITH FLUFFSTICKS

You can actually buy a water-sprayer for the ear at your local pharmacy
>>
Before you put random shit in your ears, do your research.
>>
>>17090868
thanks.
what do i do with the water spray?
just spray it at my ear like i'm a retard until its wet enough that i can tap my head from the right side twice and the earwax will fall on the opposite side?

>>17090902
sorry. i read it that irrigation is good.
i'm wondering if i put a lot of warm water in the ears during shower, directly streaming the ear, will help...?

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6 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17090856
Chiropractic treatment, physical therapy, rough sex with your mom.
>>
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>>17090859
can`t do the last one
or the other two because i cant afford it.
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>>17090875
Your mom isn't that pricey.

File: man-seeking-woman-review.jpg (152 KB, 1200x800) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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What do you do when a girl takes forever to message you back? Do I message her again or do I keep waiting?
13 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17090822

depends on your definition of 'forever'. my general rule when dealing with girls you are into is
>message her
>if no response in 24 hours, wait at least six more and do it again, but something more specific
>if still no response she doesnt care about you at all
>>
What do I do if she doesn't care about me at all?
>>
Stop being so needy.

Need advice. So a few months back I met this girl at my local climbing gym. She's absolutely gorgeous, we got talking, talked over the phone and text for like a week. Planning to go out on a date, she bailed. Tried again, she just didn't reply. Removed her number; didn't talk to her; she didn't talk to me. This whole thing is whatever; I could care less. But for some reason I'm beyond nervous to go back to the climbing gym even months after. (She still works there). How can I get the fuck over that fact. I just want to climb again beyond the fact of pure embarrassment.
6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17090795

by going. you might have your own personal ritual to psych yourself up, but its not the end of the world. you go, do your best nto to be an autist (you will be a little biit of an autist) and each time you go it gets a little easier.

i had a similar issue when i got really wasted at a bar. threw up a thousand fucking times. had trouble showing my face. but it is right across the street so it was to oconvenient not too. i went back and it was awkward but now its completely no big deal and no one remembers.

and...
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>>17090802
Thanks. I think the biggest thing I'm worried about it having like face to face conversation which is likely to happen. Probably going to go full autismo there.
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>>17090813

just go, and be dismissive. give her a nod and a 'sup' then go about oyur business. acitng like its no big deal is the best way to let it pass

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