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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 886. page
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File: sir shitfrogalot.jpg (23 KB, 320x320) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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How do I join the Canadian army if the list of my mental issues is as long as God's cock? Let me rephrase that: it's so long, even God's cock can't compare.
11 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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French foreign legion. You should already have a leg up, eh?
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>>17114757
Can we see the mental issues you have? or just some of the more pressing ones?
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>>17114772
Depression and I had one psychotic episode. Those are the highlights of my cray-cray career.

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Need some suggestions on what I can do to improve my looks, I've been in a huge overhaul for the past year and what not and my looks still aren't up to what I think they should be, so I need some honesty
13 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17114733
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>>17114733
A year ago, so I've changed a bit
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>>17114733
Shave. You look like a hobo.

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Hey guys im about to go to uni and I'm planning to completely leave/forget my friends(like 2) from highschool and I'm just trying to figure out a way to vanish so it's not as awkward like delete chats, block numbers etc.. So should I do this? and how should I go about it?
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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No, don't do that. Your friends will support you and even give you hope/a place to stay if you need it.

Unless they're shit friends. If they're shit friends then hell yeah delete that shit.
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>>17114695
They're toxic and constantly call me stupid and generally take advantage of me, I dealt with it cause I had no friends.
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>>17114681
How far away are you going? As long as they aren't within driving distance why does it matter?

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I think my boyfriend might be a serial killer. We started dating at the start of last semester because he's a math whiz and I kept asking him for advice, and we ended up spending so much time together I got to find out he's not a very snarky, non-apologetic personality without the annoying bravado attached to it. I made a move to ask him out, and he seemed genuinely shocked. He even asked, "Do you think this is a good idea?" At the time I thought it was some kind of joke, but now I'm worried.

See, he doesn't DO anything. That is, if I ask...
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40 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Aspergers.
Or he might be asexual.
Introverted.

He sounds like a creep though.
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>>17114675
If he was a serial killer (which he's not btw)
He would appear very charming and have a whole back story
Sorry anon, but you fell for actual autism
>>
>>17114675
Dammit, I was expecting a box full of ears or something.

You know you don't literally mean serial killer. Why would you be so rude to sufferers of sociopathy?

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Sorry I'm a bit of an aspie, but what would make a more appropriate profile pic out of these?
8 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>
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The hedgehog one. It doesn't have you making a "I forgot to wipe my ass" expression and it doesn't have Ja'Quan Jenkins in it.

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My high school has a week where seniors sell themselves to other students and the students get to dress up the seniors on Friday. The kid who bought me plans to dress me up in a very tight dress. How do I go all day without having an erection in class?
21 replies and 5 images submitted. Click here to view.
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A pair of kitchen shears will work wonders
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You could learn how to tuck but then that might either make you look like you've done this before or that you're very unendowed.
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>>17114651
rock the boner proudly.

or ducktape it between your legs.

I vote for #1

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Is 2 months in a relationship too early to say I love you ?

Bonus question: In your experience, how long is it until is it appropriately considered to say "I Love you"?

Bonus question: What's the earliest a partner has said it to you ?
11 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17114608
Love is unconditional. Would you do ANYTHING for them and expect nothing in return? Are you selfless? Would you clean up their crap if they poo on the floor and still feel the same about them? Lust is not love.

>What's the earliest a partner has said it to you ?
Said it to me, about 4-5 months in, I don't know if she really loved me or the idea of loving someone that accepted her and treated her well.
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>>17114619
I'm withwith anon, love is unconditional but is sometimes unrequited.
My first serious partner said it to me about 5 months in.
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>>17114608
depends.

my first boyfriend actually said it about 2 months in. it felt right because we spent everyday together since we started dating.

my current said it in about 3 months... kinda made me worry at the time because i thought he said it too easily and i didn't think he knew me well enough to say that genuinely. met on tinder, and with the distance and everything... we've only met once at the time. (though we did text everyday and pretty much pour our hearts out) but now it's all good;...
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>be me, 22 still living with parents
>toxic environment that I hate
>only make $1500 a month
>student loans take out $260/month
>live in LA, so rent would be $500/month at bare minimum
>hover around $2000 in bank account due to expenses and my parents charging me rent

Any tips on getting out of here ASAP? Besides, obviously, getting a better job. I NEED to keep this job to get...
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9 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Join military
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How much are you paying to your parents ?
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>>17114603
>rent in LA
>500 a month minimum

Hahaha

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Need some advice bros. In a decent relationship with gf, but feel compelled to cheat. Hooked up with (pic related) at the end of last semester while gf was abroad, feeling the urge to hit her up to do it again. What do?
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You're a cheating scumfuck piece of shit. There's only one thing to do.
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>>17114576
Thanks senpai :^)
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>>17114573
>but feel compelled to cheat

Why don't you become single so you don't subject your gf to emotional harm?

Girlfriend was upset at her mom and was talking to me about it. She seemed fine for a bit so then I told her I had to go finish up some homework. She gets mad at me and tells me that she wants me to stay because she was upset. I'm like okay that's fine my bad I didn't realize you were still upset. She gets mad at me and tells me that I was supposed to ask her if she was still upset before I left and she hangs up the phone on me. She then calms down but right after downloading the okcupid app. She called me and told me she was being over dramatic and that she downloaded...
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11 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Holy fuck tell her to fuck off. Selfish bitch doesn't even understand you have to finish homework and then she calls you back threatening to cheat? Bitch has brain problems, who would want to stay with that?
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>>17114548
She never changed, she just temporarily changed her behavior. People don't actually change. Either she's looking to replace you or she's looking to manipulate you.

Sounds like a manipulative bitch to me OP. I'd drop her.
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>>17114554

It's my first ever relationship... She used to drain me when she did this before but I was really infatuated. Over time I got tired of it so I just started ignoring the fuck out of her.

I feel like shit right now. It was going so good and I thought she wasn't crazy anymore.

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I've discovered my vore fetish accidentally on a video, i felt something strange when saw a video where some furry character ate another one, that was just for fun, but i felt something strange about that, so i discovered my vore fetish after that.

time ago i was at furry hentai, but now with vore fetish i barely fell furry porn arousing, also, I'm very selective about how my vore fantasies are, i don't like human-related vore, enjoy only soft vore, i fell vore with digestion way more arousing than vore without digestion,
as a prefer fatal vore more...
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6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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...you're fuckin' weird
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>>17114543
God, all of my this.
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you are mentally ill, stop watching bizarre anthro porn (or any porn) and take up a nice hobby like hiking

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i have a crush on this girl, we always talk and do some things together(ive known her for like 4-5 months now), today she texted me saying she had a dream about me,then went on to say how she hates when guys chat to her on facebook, but said i am an exception... i suffer from slight depression and a bit of social anxiety so i am very hesitant.
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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despite having no real relationship experience atm, this is a definite yes.
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>>17114527
She's expressing an interest. Be a confident person and ask her out. Have a specific place and time in mind and don't be put off if that doesn't work. Suggest another time, same place and let her pick the time.

If she says no to both, then she's not interested.
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>>17114534
>this is a definite yes
No. It's a probable "yes," but I was in basically that situation, and it turns out that no, she wasn't interested in me in that way.

So, OP, if you're not an otherwise desirable guy, then I wouldn't bother trying.

Or "lower my standards"
I'm terrible and hot girls don't like me. Average girls don't like me.

Everyone I know says I'm creepy as fuck, online and in real life. I have very few friends and hate myself and I'm just so shitty and toxic all the time but a man can't help his nature. I work in a factory and don't have much money. My face is ugly as shit. I have been working out and making progress on my body but fat loss and lifting isn't going to fix my face.

So basically I'll never be the sexy rich "good...
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7 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17114488
man, i mean physical attraction is important but you want to focus on people's character and personality if you want anything to last...

i guess i'm a fairly attractive femanon. my friends and family always rail on me for having "weird taste" in boyfriends because they don't fit the 6'+, rich, gorgeous, and successful profile that i should be dating. i mean, it's not like i can't get those types; i've dated the models, lawyers, and athletes and whatnot, and honestly,...
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Character and personality are much more important.
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>>17114558
This made me cringe.

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I have constipation. What are some foods that'll make me shit?
12 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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coffee then cold water immediately after
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Greens

Spinach, broccoli, celery. Get some roughage in there to clean you out.
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>>17114473
Apples and figs do it for me.

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It's complicated. Please bear with me, describing my situation makes it sound so unreal, like the plot of a Tumblr romance novel or shitty fetish porn, but this is part of my life. So, here it is.
> I'm FtM, pre-hormone and pre-surgery, androgynous
> Bisexual, but I've never seen myself as being romantically interested in a woman
> Except one
> My best friend since high school (We're both 21 now) is a gorgeous chick, 10/10
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10 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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> By the time she's done talking, I feel really pissed off, feels like she's been leading me on
> Using me for affection since she isn't getting any from her ex of two years and her neighbor
> I stay the night at her place that night after an awkward and tense brithday celebration for a mutual friend
> She tells me, driving home from said friend's house, that she feels like she was being selfish and wants to give a relationship a shot...
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But, /adv/...
> She flirts with other guys, gives her phone number out to strangers
> Sends nudes, doesn't know that I know
> She and her ex talk like they're still together, she tells him she loves him and vice versa
She tells me all the time how attractive I am. She talks about having kids with me. She tells me how different I am from everyone else. I don't know if I should believe her.
My friends are yes-men, telling me what they think I want to hear. I...
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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

Your whole relationship with her is so, so, so, so, so fucking bad in every way possible. You're so bad for eachother, I don't even know how to explain it in words. It'd be easier in a fucking diagram. I mean, granted you're both so mentally confused in the head I could see how you might confuse that similarity as some sort of bond, but holy shit.

Make yourself a better life.

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