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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 784. page
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File: 1453294168666.gif (167 KB, 400x289) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Im scared that i'm going to kill myself right now. I have 8 hits of ecstacy and im home alone.
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>>17141485
DO IT FAGGOT
>>
don't.
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>>17141485
Lol eight ekkies.
That's a fun night for me.

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Okay guys, I seripuslt need your help, this is starting to become a serious fucking problem, I don't really remember when or how it started, I'm introverted, but I am not depressed, or suffer and other mental issues at the time (which I am aware of, that is), I'm a hardcore /fit/izen, work out daily, people constantly complimenting my physique, but for a while now, I've been mutilating my toenails to the fucking point of this. HOW IN THE HELL DO I FUCKING STOP THIS SHIT? (Pic related, nail 1)
8 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Pic 2, nail after I let it grow, so far I've only managed to get one to grow by focusing more on the other.
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>>17141457
Looks like skin cancer, you might need to have that checked out. (Hope I'm wrong)
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>>17141481
It's me picking at it dude, not fucking skin cancer. And I'm way wayyyyyy to young to have fucking cancer.

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There's been a burning question I've had for awhile now. I'm a dick and I can make guy friends easily because of my dark and asshole humor but meeting girls is really hard because whenever I talk to them I come across as a
weird dick. What do?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17141446
don't be a dick in person, save that shit for the internet. Learn to be a socially acceptable dude in public.
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>>17141453
But I'm boring when I'm not a dick
>>
Same fucking problem, I can get girls to like me but I feel like a boring loser.

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I'm a max level introvert with terrible self esteem who honestly almost never feels lonely, no matter how long without social interaction (besides customers) I go. As long as I can talk to people on the internet, I'm happy.

But I decided that I need to stop being a bitch and to get a boyfriend. Even though I would honestly love to be alone my whole life.

So when this dude from larp asked me out for dinner, I decided to go for it. I got drunk beforehand (I always get drunk before dealing with things I don't really wanna deal with :^) ) and actually had an enjoyable time. Met him again for coffee (sober) and it was kinda awkward but still pretty darn nice.

Then we just saw the new Civil War movie. I drank before hand but it just made me tired instead of drunk... And I really didn't have an enjoyable time in the slightest.

I have a really hard time enjoying real people. I have husbandos who I adore, but idk man, 2d is just so much better. Plus I feel like he wants more then I can give, kissing and stuff makes me uncomfortable and I'm a virgin who really doesn't like to masterbate and only really thinks about sex with 2d dudes. Should I just stick with it, or just accept the fact that I shouldn't date people.

Sorry for rambling.
10 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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If you'd rather fantasize about pictures for the rest of your life, then more power to you. You don't owe it to anyone to become a normie.

But if you want to come out of your shell and start to date, since it seems at least some guys are taking interest in you, then go for it, but ease into it slowly, I guess. And try not to become an alcoholic to do it.
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>>17141441
Just talk to him about all the issues you told us.
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>>17141449
being a normie is the goal. And after tonight, I don't think I wanna meet him again while drunk...I had a more enjoyable time while sober.
>>17141456
I feel like I could only really do that through text. But that's the rude pussy way to do it :/ Though I should probably let him know about my "super low sexdrive" issue or just get some female viagra shit.

Hey /adv
sooo there's this long complicated backstory involved in all this but let me summarize:
sister's ex-best-weeaboo-friend from middle school lives with my hoarder parents who let her sit on the couch ALL DAY (she only gets up to make food, use the bathroom, or walk to taco bell/7-11). She lives like a filthy sewer rat. She never showers. She never brushes her teeth. She does not clean the mold that must be growing between her blobbish thighs. She doesn't have a job (welfare pile of trash), she doesn't do any chores unless forced to (my mom pays...
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6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Is she paying rent to live there?
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>>17141391
Be as friendly and sincere to her as possible. Let her drop her guard down. When she feels very comfortable around you and you're ready to get the fuck out, tell her exactly what you think about her.

The best dicking is the long one, friendo.
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>>17141408
Yeah, like $150, my mom likes to keep her around because to be there in case my dad drops dead and there's no one home

>>17141411
good master plan. Not sure how long I'll be here or how badly the situation affects my sanity but I'd be worried about confronting her before I can get out and then she poisons my cat out of some twisted sense of vengeance

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Hey homies. Made a thread last night, consider this a follow up.

I met this girl online a few days ago, she lives far away but we were just talking for the fun of it. She was decently interesting to talk to and damn cute so what the hell. Then I realized quickly she's very clingy, and batshit crazy. After two days of talking she wouldn't stop saying how I was this perfect guy and shit. She mentioned her parents are dead, her grandparents don't care about her, and apparently her ex boyfriend who was twice her age (literally, she's 18 he was 37) finds...
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Holy fuck god damn dude fucking lol you monster
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>>17141356
You called her batshit insane, right? What do batshit insane people do best? They lie through their god damn teeth. Seriously, who the fuck tells strangers that much personal and crazy shit? "Hi, my dad molested me and my name is Jen"?

Good on you for backing out. Stay off the account for a few weeks and then login to block her.
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>>17141392
>>17141392
This is fairly true
You dodged a bullet and she probably isn't that heart broken because this literally happens every time to her.

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So the last few days I have had this condom in an aluminum wrapper (its Magnum) in the frontmost pocket of my backpack. I've also been carrying my laptop around in the backmost sleeve inside the bag, where it's supposed to go.

The other day, I noticed some yellow on the side of the screen that touches the bottom of the bag, and closest to the aluminum foil. Although they separated by the rest of the bag and some of the other stuff in it, I wanted to know if anyone knew if foil can negatively affect a laptop screen. Did some Google searching, but didn't...
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7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17141343
bump
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What an elaborated way to tell people about your big dick
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Oops i dropped my monster condom that i use for my magnum dong

How do I stop being a misanthropist (someone who hates society)?
10 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17141314
smoke crack
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Why would you stop?
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>>17141314
Stop being a faggot

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Is there anyway to download a bunch of viruses and malware? I miss the old days of Windows XP and having a bunch of random toolbars and search bars in my browser. It made me feel comfy. I just want to enjoy it for a little bit and get nostalgia and delete it all when I am done.

What was your favorite virus/malware? Was there any you enjoyed somewhat?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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What about those tool bars that supposedly paid you? Lmao.
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>>17141280
Viruses break your computer quickly and aren't very fun. Malware bogs it down bit by bit so you can really enjoy doing bad bad things to your virtual machine. VirtualBox + Windows XP ISO (which you can get through illegitimate means)

Bonzi buddy, ask toolbar, google toolbar, fake antivirus with better ui design than actual antivirus, good times.
>>
I remember the malware installing stuff into your browser and it would check every link in Google search like it was protecting from viruses and put a checkmark by the links and put goofy toolbars into your browser

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I need some holiday advice, kindof.
I was going to take my partner on a holiday for a week or so to a place in Brisbane in about a month and a half, but we broke up recently and I kind of still want to go but I feel weird going myself. Nobody I know can go, and the few that could I don't talk to anymore
> 2015 was the year for losing friends
I don't like going to pubs and clubs alone, and I feel like I would maybe see the city and do some shopping one day, then just sit in the hotel room bored getting stoned, drunk and ordering...
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6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Are you asking whether or not you should go, or advice on what there is to do in Brisbane?
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>>17141393
I'm asking would you go on a holiday alone, and if so, what the fuck do you even do on a solo holiday?
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>>17141393
And also,
What you would do in my position?
Go/not go/Go somewhere else/idk

Hey /adv/,

I have a dilemma.

Basically, I worked for a company as an intern (along with others). I worked really hard, staying overtime and stuff, I thought I did really well. I even got a really great review from my manager.
However, at the end of the year, some interns who I know didn't work as hard or didn't necessarily get a great review or anything got a full-time job offer, whereas I was only offered a contract.

I feel a little betrayed and cheated by the company. I took the contract cause the economy is bad right now, but I want to know...
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>>17141146
If you take the contract, you're going to be stuck working for people who consider you to being inferior to your peers, for two soul sucking years. Better to get a full time position where people actually give a shit about you.
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>>17141189
Yeah, I'm still looking. Hopefully I get something else. Thanks for the /adv.
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>>17141146

With the contract there is more flexibility- they can send you to another department when you are done, maybe they think ypu are a bit too 'good' and won't rely on you to fill a position because they fear you will change jobs and leave them without specific skillset, a contract holds you tighter for those two years.

However, the importnt part is salary- what are they paying you, what bonus options do you have?
Are you being short-changed?
Remember ypu cn always negotiate, and if you...
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What is that welt looking thing on my chest?
It's not acne or a welt
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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AIDS
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>>17141140

You bumped into something without noticing, or laid in a wierd position while sleeping.

I once bent a rib by sleeping awkwardly
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>>17141140
stretch mark

File: Red-panda.jpg (215 KB, 636x580) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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How do I pick up a new accent? My current one is shit and I want to learn an accent that sounds good. Not sure which even.
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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This is something that only a few rare people can pull off. For example, Christian Bale masking his Welsh accent with an American one. Not trying to discourage you, it's just that you are going to have to undertake years of practice.
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I go to a Japanese accent trainer every week
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>>17140995
It's okay anon, I'd rather face the truth I guess. Not that it's going to stop me from trying because I don't have anything to lose and I guess my accent won't get worse from practicing.

>>17141005
Do you speak Japanese, or live there? For what purpose?

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How do I stop being so obsessed with being in a relationship? No matter what I'm doing I catch myself daydreaming about having someone to share my life with, and having the only real goals and dreams I have be about shit I'll never realistically obtain.
9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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I actually had this exact problem up until yesterday, when I got my heart broken. What I always found helps is doing something productive when you get those daydreams - I always found that I was more motivated when I was feeling that way. Go for a run, read a book, do something. Harness the energy of longing, you'll be surprised what it can do for you.

Also don't worry too much about relationships. There's a girl out there for you somewhere and you will find her someday.
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>>17140767
Take THE red pill
Sandman and tfm to begin with
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>>17140784
I'm gay and there's no man for me out there. Not one I'd settle for, at least.

They're mostly there when I'm at work or trying to sleep. wat do?

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Or maybe I only love one of them? I'm not sure.. I'm 25, I just moved back in with them for a while while I go to paramedic school. They've always financially provided for me but they are rich and I don't feel like they ever really appreciated me.

I don't really expect good advice as this is a very personal subject that I may never understand but I just need to vent really. I feel like the most important thing for me to do is just make it through this time at home with them so that they can continue under the idea that I love them, and so they...
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Yeah they're letting me live here while I go to school, that's nice of them. And I do a bunch of chores and try to show I care - which I do - but when it comes to interaction.. There is always a wall, that I am afraid to take down.. I never expected to be friends with my parents, but at the least I would like to enjoy some time with them. But the only way I know how to interact with them, is in the "is everything okay" mode.. And it's always been that way.

Don't I at least deserve to not be ostracized for not believing in God? It's a...
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You didn't ask to come into this life. Fuck em
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>>17141369

U ain't wrong.. It's how I feel. But there's a lot of unnecessary pain if they realize I feel this way. When I left at 18 I thought I was home free - I guess I have just a little more to go. Thanks for the response.

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