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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 603. page
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How to solve all your issues.


>Get a haircut once every 2 weeks.
>Cut your nails regularly.
>Brush your teeth twice a day.
>Use some antiperspirant every day.
>Shower twice a day.
>Get a job - any job.
(It's easier to find work when you're already employed.)
>Get fresh clothes and shoes.
>Start cooking...
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>>
The love of my life dumped me when I got myself a job, restricted my computer time and got hobbies to make myself busy.

It's not like I want her back though, she looked fucking anguished whenever I finally returned home at 8 PM, and I think I heard her cry in the mornings.
>>
>Have I missed anything?
Yap. You missed that this is infeasible unless you have a strong resolve and a shitload of motivation, which most of us lack.
>>
>Get a haircut once every 2 weeks.

Why would I do that?

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girl here. how many times do i have to meet a guy ive met (onlinen datin) to be able to trust him and visit private areas alone?
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>>
you're the girl. you control this.

best answer is: the number of times YOU need to meet him to being able to trust him.

but if you really want a numeric answer i'd say 3 times.
>>
>>17210907
First time I met my SO we stayed at a hotel for about a week and basically had a vacation. LDR for about 3 months though.

Just do it when you trust him
>>
>>17210907
NEVER

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How to get rid of my pee fetish?
It's such an awkward fetish to have, most people think it's gross.
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>>
Just picture it's your mother pissing you sick fuck
>>
>fetish
>awkward

What's a fetish you would be proud of? Just don't pee yourself in public or tell everyone and you're fine.
>>
>>17210891
M or F?

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how do i get good at escapism?
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>>
Social isolation and staying in your room is good, the reality doesn't touch you and you get depersonalisation sessions as a bonus.
>>
>>17210759
ask /tg/
>>
Drugs?

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How do I get over past embarrassment? Or how do I get over the fact that im a fucking autistic piece of shit loser?
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>>
Weed is best solution
>>
>>17210740
I don't think you understand how much of an autistic piece of shit I am. I have no weed connections, money or the ability to make them. I do have a gram in the mail and I haven't smoked in forever so that should be nice for a day or so.
>>
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Be an hero, then?

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>been friends with Anon since 13 (22 now)
>have always been the one to initiate
>used to be a lot closer but drifted a little apart over time
>last time I texted her, she didn't reply until three days later
>texted again Monday, after almost 4 months since last talking
>still no fucking reply

Fuck this, why are people like this? Am I being too prideful/petty to drop her...
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>>
>>17210647
She got a boyfriend

>Am I being too prideful/petty to drop her from my life?
No.
>Or is it out of line to tell her she's a horrible friend?
Yes.
>>
>>17210647
Just stop talking to her. She obviously doesn't care, so why should you?
>>
>>17210656
I don't think she does, but either way we're platonic friends and it's not like we ever talked every day, except when we first met.

>>17210659
It sucks, because we've known each other for so long. I considered her a close friend up until a few years ago

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/adv/ I've got a situation going on right now.

So I'm flirting with this 24 yo milf and she's pretty cute and got a body. Well let's say she's an 7.5 - 8/10. Got a daughter around 1 yo.

We're working the same job and see each other every day.

The thing is i want just to make her a fuck buddy, nothing else. And i can see she's searching for a stepdad for her daughter. I'm 20 and i don't want her to see me like that.
Just casual fucks from time to time.

Any suggestions how to do this thing ?
Any...
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>>
You can't make her want something she doesn't want, you fuckwit.
>>
>>17210571
>can see she's searching for a stepdad for her daughter
RUN AWAY
>>
>>17210571
This is stupid. You are shit that is going to cause abandonment problems in a 1 y/o kid.
Also stay away from single moms, the last guy probably only wanted fuckbuddies too.

Ive had a lot of illegally downloaded music for at least a year on my android but all of the sudden it decides to stop working today. It
has played fine until today and I keep my phone clean of malware. Did google update their music app?
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>>
>>17210431
Have you tried turning it off and on again?

It's almost definitely not malware. Errors in music playback would be weirdly specific.

And I don't think there's any way for Google to tell whether music is illegally downloaded; for all they know, you could have ripped the mp3s off a cd.

If a restart doesn't help, try going into Settings > Apps > Google Play Music and uninstalling updates, clearing cache, etc. Then restart again, and try playing something.

You may...
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>>
>>17210431
Why use Google Music?

Upgrade to Poweramp. I use that music player on my GS5 and really like it.
>>
buy music we're starving

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Before you tell me

>Back to /vp/ with you

Yes, this is more of an /adv/ thing where pic is highly related.

Greentext incoming.

>Go to FLGS to get my first MtG deck started
>Grab several cards, everything okay
>Suddenly, qt3.14 girl
>She's buying some loose cards on the counter, Pokémon cards while at that
>She has some odd picks - cards that don't really...
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>>17210412
>MtG
Mah nigga

>FLGS
Whats that mean?
Been a long time, kamigawa to be exact, since i touched a card.

>The question: shall I sell them to her, or do I just go "nah this is a gift, keep 'em"? If so, at a reduced price?
Giving shit away doesnt impress people anymore, it only makes you look like a fuckboi, avoid that.
Here's the best course of action imo:
Find their real actual...
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>>
>>17210502
>FLGS
Friendly local gaming store

>Giving shit away doesnt impress people anymore, it only makes you look like a fuckboi, avoid that.
Exactly what I was thinking.

>Find their real actual prices, websites/magazines/guides/retailers/whatever, combine the totals up and find the one that's lowest. Keep that guide as reference if price comes up. Tell her you went with what was fairest. If the price is something...
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>>
>>17210514
>Fair enough, although it'd be like
>>Hey, here, buy my cards
>>Sure!
>>Now let's use this very money to go grab food for us both
>Uh, will it work like that

Verbatum is tricky, you can say the same one thing in many different ways and each will have a slightly different meaning.
But thats the basic of it. You met up again, all...
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Is it wrong to hurt a little kid when you are depressed (Like push, slap smack)? What if usually you are a good uncle but just once you were upset. Usually you wouldn't lay a finger on a 5 year old.
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>>
>>17210211
"Always strike a child in anger. There is no other possible excuse."

- G B Shaw
>>
Yes.
>>
>>17210211
Turn yourself in to the police.

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How could a high school graduate make a buttload of money with minimal social interaction?

It does not have to be legal but the risk of being caught would have to be low enough or the money high enough to make it worth.
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>>
>>17209688
Your body.
>>
>>17209688
Get good at math, become the new Terry
>>
>>17209688
Try asking /biz/

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I fell in love with a random girl on Instagram...

I was going to make this thread a month ago but decided against it. But I'm here again because my feelings haven't changed. I'm at a loss... the only way I can describe how I feel about her is that she is "the one"... it's pathetic, I know. She lives across the country from me. I've sent her 1 message and she's responded to me once. I'm lost and need help desperately
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>>
Love is another one of those strong feeling just like anger, sadness and happiness, it takes over you in a way in which you cant understand.
If it makes you feel any better there are tons of girls out there who could be the one she could be sitting next to you in class or in that starbucks you frequent. Just dont get too overly attached to one person who is responsible for your overall happiness that shit is unhealthy and fucks you up in the long run
>>
>>17209615

>I fell in love with a random girl on Instagram...

>I've sent her 1 message and she's responded to me once

What you're experience is not love. What you're experiencing is obsession. You need to distance yourself from her immediately before this obsession weighs on you even heavier than it is right now.

Unfollow. Stop sending her messages. Stop looking at her pictures. Decouple yourself.
>>
>>17209678
An alternative would be to confess your love, she would immediately block you and life could go on. If you feel like you might have a problem with self-control this is probably the way to go.

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always...
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>>
Guys, I said something slightly offensive regarding the manner of a stranger's death. He's kind of ignoring me now because I guess it was an uncalled for comment. What do I do now to un-piss him off? I'm not interested in him romantically. I just want to get things back to normal as coworkers. If it matters, we're both in our late twenties.
>>
Is the medfag from last thread still in here?
>>
>>17209110
What happened exactly? I'm not quite sure what's going on by your description.

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>it's a "people can't imagine how you could be single" episode
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>>
>"WHAT?"
>"Are you telling me you NEVER had a GIRLFRIEND?"

I am the single most undateable person in the world and I disgust everyone who has the pleasure to get to know me.
>>
Old women always say "you must be so popular with the girls!" and shit, but that's because i'm responsible, safe, logical, reliable, intelligent, dress nicely, etc.
Basically, i'm the guy they wish their daughter would date.

Not the guy anyone's daughter actually WANTS to date. Pretty sure every girl my age can take one look and guess "yep, there's no way that guy's ever been in a relationship".
>>
>>17209071

Reminder that nice guys are the REAL assholes ;^)

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I know this might not be the place for it, but fuck if I know a better one at this point. This board is the last remaining remnant of humanity and companionship this site has to offer. I don't know how many of you were around for it, but back in the day, this wasn't a site for everyone and their 6 year old nephew. All of it, but specifically /b/, was a sanctuary for those of us who had nowhere else to go. Who were alone, and hated it, and could do nothing about it. We found purpose and meaning in the bonds we had with each other. Because here, despite how we acted,...
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and it was only going to get worse, but I just couldn't fucking do it. But I found an image, and it led me to another, and another, and eventually an entire archive of stories. Stories about deaths, and regrets, and the guy who runs the animal gas chamber. Stories about how this once beautifully flawed place brought anons back from the brink of suicide, and stories that could only be told in one of those rare threads. I've been reading for the better part of 2 hours, and I cried. I cried like a little bitch. And god damn it, I've never felt more like a human being....
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