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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 269. page
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Morning /b/.
I have a problem.

I work at a boy scout camp (my area pictured above.) We are plagued by rats. We call them "disappearing nigger rats" because they are jet black rats that move at ludicrous speeds and seem to disappear. We thought we caught all the mice because the traps stopped being triggered and food stopped vanishing. We let our guard down. How foolish of us. We had won the battle, but the war had just begun. I walked down from breakfast this morning and found the boor to out backroom ajar. As i drew near, a blur of black shot from the opening...
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Rat poison.
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Why dont you just take the rats and push them somewhere else?
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>>17306539
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=mouse+bucket+trap
those work really well, just don't forget to add water or soap water so that they can't jump out. Also use semi-chewed tootsie rolls or other chocolate candy as bait.

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How do I stop being paranoid /adv/? My biggest fear is that everyone around me is secretly insane and out to kill me, and I can't stop myself from feeling like that in certain situations.
ex: I'm driving with a friend or family member in a car and we go on a route we usually don't go on, i might ask where we're going and they'll shrug or something, I immediately tense up and put my hands over the seatbelt and car door

I'm not really sure why but it's just terrifying to me
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You need to realize that literally nobody is thinking about you that hard. unless you just generally go around doing stupid shit making enemies, I doubt anybody is seriously thinking about intentionally harming you. Its slightly more understandable if you're female but even then it's a stretch to think everybody is out to get you.
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>>17306647
Not OP, what if i am female and my classmates always talked behing my back at school? My normie trusted social friend told me that and that shit was intense. I was a teacher's pet or something.
Now I don't deserve attention, but aforementioned meant that i fundamentally aren't accepted by normal people.
Now I have a phobia that i never know how people really think about me. Do they casually make fun of me? I often heard them making up jokes about nerds, when those nerds aren't present.
I am paranoid.
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>>17306668
That's not being paranoid, that is being sensible based on the character of said "friends."

Find new ones, forget what they are saying about you or anyone else for that matter.

Would you date dumb girl if you understand each other in sexual life? kinky stuff...
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>>17306517
dumb in what way? Intellectual ability doesn't usually determine your ability to find a partner.
>>
If she isn't dangerously dumb and can be appeared with at friends/family without always cleaning up cringe after her, sure.
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>>17306517

I'd date anyone at this point. :(

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How to stop wanting to find a replacement for your ex?
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>tfw you realize its just a replacement for your mother
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>>17306522
[spoiler]compared the two[/spoiler]
>>
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>>17306542
Forgot pic

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We have been sexually active ever since we started hooking-up and dated. She has the ring, and I like not having to use a condom. At first, when we were using a condom I could last 15 to 20 min of intense intercourse and now, without it, I last 3 min tops. Why is this happening? It also seems to turn her off and worries her sometimes cause it's not as long. I always get mad at myself and want to go again like I have something to prove.

TL;DR: I'm cumming too fast when having sex without a condom and I'm...
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How to build stamina: EDGING.

Bring yourself to the point where you feel like you're going to cum, then stop. Do this over and over while masturbating. Never let yourself cum until you've been masturbating for at least 20 mins.

Once you get in the habit of not cumming in 15 mins or less, it will be easy to last longer
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Condoms makes your dick less sensitive. Your girl should take you cumming fast a compliment
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>>17306571
I've been masturbating like this since I'm 12 years old, but it's just not possible to stop thrusting while having sex and keep it interesting, sex without a condom it's a torture.

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It's been a year of NEETdom since I've "travelled the world" for two years, being in dead end relationships and stuff. Well, at least I learnt how to speak English """decently""". Btw, "learnt" is British English, therefore correct.

So... I'm thinking of doing a two year masters in International Relations + Japanese, all paid by the gov't. But I'm a 26 years old southern european faggot.

Pros:
>free
>if I get good grades, I'll...
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>>17306467
>Btw, "learnt" is British English, therefore correct.

Oh man
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>>17306467
Do it. Being 28 when it's all said and done is better than being 35 and never having accomplished it.
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If its all paid for, do it. Having a masters in anything will look great on you. Plus if you're good at languages anyway you might really enjoy your time at uni.

Don't be afraid of leaving your hometown, I know you've traveled already so being away from home doesn't bother you.

My friend is in a shitty dead end job, not because he's lazy, but because he was too afraid of moving out of his hometown and there were no decent jobs in his area.

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Okay so just finished a shift at work and trying to get some perspective on women:
>fairly new to job
>Get called into work night shift
>work with two girls
>I never work with them
>they pick on me incessantly all night
>also call me a man whore
>they are laughing and what not
>not sure if it is because they think I'm...
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You are probably cute and they're just teasing you senpai. If they didn't like you they'd ignore you.
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>>17306459
Go to town on those two bitches.
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>>17306459

>not sure if its because they think im attractive

post your pic here and find out.

I am uncertain of my future please give me some nice options or unique carrier btw I am serious please help
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>>17306427
I'm going to guess that you mean "career".

Make a list of things you are good at. Make a list of things you enjoy doing. Make a list of things you'd like to know more about or get better at.

Compare the three lists and see what things they have in common. Then investigate what jobs/careers make use of those qualities or skills.
>>
I've been happy with T-Mobile for the last seven years. They recently started giving free stuff (Wendy's frosty, vudu movie rentals, rides on left) every Tuesday
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>>17306427
Cool, so you peddle data plans for hundreds per month that costs T-Mobile nickles, and you get soft serve ice cream. Sounds legit.

>>17306477
this

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so theres this girl. shes so fucking hot but every atempt i make to woo her fails. some times i think she's just using me you know? i confessed my love to her the other day but got shut down big time and im starting to think she don't trust me anymore. i know she's the one even tho all my friends think her sister's better looking. any advice on getting out of the friend zone? she's the one on the right.
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No woman should have to date the type of man who would post her picture on 4chan
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>>17306365
Fuck Bran
Kill Sansa
Marry Arya
>>
>>17306376
this

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I'm in a relationship atm. She's 17 and I'm 18. 17 is the legal age in my country for sex and I was wondering when would be a good time to fuck? I have know her for a month. Should I wait longer?
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The sooner the better .she finaly 17 and she horny as fuck and she knows it . And she only dating you weebfag so that she gets laid and gets you laid for the sake of humanity. So do ya best and fuck the shit out of her
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Give her as much time as she needs. If you don't want to wait, find someone else.
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>>17306353
Thank you Wise wolf senpai :^)

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So currently I'm 19 and I've recently just realized I don't want to live with my great grandma for the rest of my life and even if I did she's almost definitely not gonna outlive me.

So I've started thinking about what I want to do.
Thing is, I can't really have a professional life. I'm just not very professional and the idea of waking up early every day and pretending to be is just a huge turn off. So I can't see myself holding anything besides a shitty job as a clerk (my current job) or starting my own home-based business (I...
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>>17306325
Literally the only way to give your plan a sense of realism is if you become a trap and pretend to be a girl while streaming. You have no chance of making it in eSports or streaming, unless you're a woman, and even then it's pretty saturated. Either go with repairing electronics, or maybe try to get into game development.
>>
>>17306398
This.

>i don't want to wake up for work every day

100% chance of disappointment in your future
>>
>Thoughts and advice on my stupid juvenile dream?
You described it pretty well: stupid and juvenile.

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Hey /adv/
So I just realized I have worked an hour overtime. overtime is not permitted at my job. Normal procedure is that I mention it and take off friday or something an hour earlier. The problem is that I suffered a head injury recently and sleep hasn't been to great, thus I overslept once or twice without calling in. I want to bring it up but my boss is already short with me over my tardiness. Should I just bite the bullet and remove the overtime from my time sheet and not bring it up?
Pick related. What I see on my desk day to day.
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Deal with the tardiness with a polite explanation. I'd be fine if it were due to medical reasons.

Deal with the overtime by getting your time back.

Don't be all "I dunno what to do so I'll leave things as they are", come on.
>>
Don't be the guy who is always on the radar as being 'late, early, fucked up clocking in, sick' etc. Those people always get fired. If this a first time thing, then maybe ask, but otherwise just leave an hour early on Friday and stay off the grid.
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>>17306310
"Boss, I know I owe you a couple of hours from being late Monday and Tuesday. I worked an extra hour today and I'll do the same Friday to make up for it, and I'll be sure not to let it happen again."

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My love life is everywhere.

I have a boyfriend whom i truly do love. He's good for me, the relationship is healthy, he always makes me laugh/smile and thinks i'm perfect.
However i have a 9 month old by somebody else. My boyfriend doesn't mind though. Me and my son's father are close friends with a good relationship but we can't always ignore the urge to get intimate when we're alone. We both know there's something still there but we're trying to move pass it.
Then there's my friend-with-benefits. We've been having...
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Quit slutting around and take care of the kid
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>>17306307
I really hope all those people you're fucking know about all those other people you're fucking, or you'd be a bit of a lying manipulative asshole right now.

I'm not saying quit slutting around and take care of the kid, but you need to seriously reevaluate your personal life. Why do you feel the need to sleep with all these guys? Are you incapable of a monogamous relationship?
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>>17306307
GET
THE
FUCK
OUT


REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

> Been talking to this girl for about 2 months
> When we first met I asked her out an she shot me down because another guy asked already
> 2 weeks later he breaks up with her and she accepts her fathers arranged marrage
> fast forward 2 more weeks and we decide to start dating.
> last night she asked about my worst fear
> caught up in the moment, at the end i ask her if she want to take it...
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>>17306295
>she accepts her fathers arranged marrage
uh, she's engaged to be married and doesn't sound like you really have a play here
>>
>arranged marriage
What kind of backasswards hellhole do you live in where that's still a thing?
>>
it's obvious op. You much make a counter offer to her father for her hand in marriage over the other party. Nothing below two calfs.

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Hey /adv/ I'm 18 almost 19 and I've had a six month dry spell. Pretty soon this girl I've been talking to in the area is doiny shrooms with me and her friends. We'll be hanging out the entire day. Girl is 8/10, hipster, never done shrooms and generally seems interested, but I'm rusty as all fuck when it comes to getting women in bed. What do?
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>>17306267
>doing shrooms with a first timer
>trying to have sex

Wow, I cant even imagine how sad and pathetic your life situation is right now, and I dont want to.
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>>17306280
We're both doing it for the first time? And yea my life is pretty shit right now lol.
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>>17306267

OP your pic is bullshit

The whole introvert/extrovert thing is a myth. Beta nobodies who spend their time in front of a screen instead of doing interesting shit use it as an excuse as to why they don't get laid.

You may think you have deeper thoughts or more knowledge than that dude with muscles who's good with the ladies. But the harsh truth is you're just as retarded as he is.

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