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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 233. page
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Goal is to be funnier than I am now. I get a good response normally from people and am generally considered humorous. I don't know if there is a way to quantify it, but I'd be at an intermediate level. Can share more details as needed.

What are some good resources to get even better? Share beginner stuff, advanced, indirect/hands on stuff whatever works.
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>>17315200
I'm laughin at this post.

Zero dubs make it better.
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>>17315311
Kek

>hai guys, Google is broken again
>where to find jokes and mannerisms to make me teh funnehh
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>>17315315
Fuck prepared material. Just looking for resources in the form of books or the book of pook if you will.

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God damnit /adv/ I'm glad none of you have my father. Normally i'd never think of posting about something my parent has done to make my life living hell as it's to expect nowadays but currently i'm 18 and going into senior year of highschool ( I got held back in 4th grade ) and I moved out of my mom's to live with my dad for the last year of highschool. It's all been nothing but bizarre and rough as shit for the wrong reasons, he's legit psychotic and would smash a cup against your head for back talk, which explains his 5 divorces, some other...
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Is moving back in with your mother in the equation
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>>17315203
No since shes moving to canada with her bf. And shed be pissed that I wanna go back after a month with my dad
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>>17315187

I'm gonna be honest, your dad is mostly right. However THAT SAID your failure as a man is a big part his failure as a father.

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Why do people think life is a gift?

Do most people enjoy life?
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Most of them never think about it. They're just animals that are born, follow their instincts their whole life, and die before even realizing it.
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>>17315140
Cause most people drink and fuck a lot more than us
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>>17315143

Really? How'd you come to that

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I must ask you this: if you care about a girl, do you feel that it would be better if she died so that you wouldn't have to care about her?

When my girlfriend got assaulted, and almost raped, I didn't care. My psychologist diagnosed me with antisocial personality disorder, sociopathy. But I regarded that as a bullshit diagnose. But I recently realized that I only care about myself and my feelings, not other people. And my psychologist referred me to another psychologist. He felt uncomfortable with me. That cocksucker. I haven't been treated with respect. They just say that they feel "worried" when I open up. I would like to undo these people. Here I'm being honest about my thoughts about opening people up in a painfull way; and they have no professionalism whatsoever. They think they're better than me. And I think they're as worthless as you, or I am.

But still, say, you have a girlfriend, would you get upset if she was raped or killed? And would this be because you would not be able to fuck her like before?

I have thoughts about extreme violence against people. I want to crush their heads and have their brains splatter in my face. I want to undress myself and open them up. But whenever I talk about these things people either think I'm joking or they just walk away, and that makes me want to kill them. It's as if their arrogant stupidity makes them deserve death. If society turns it back on me, then perhaps I should stab it in the back?

Also, I tend to get banned for trolling even though I'm not, I'm actually deranged and I need help.

I would not go on a killing spree because there aer so many people I want to kill, and I wouldn't be able to kill even 1 % of them before I'd get killed by law enforcement. If I could kill, say, 25 %, then I'd consider it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-qRJhsORFs
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I don't know what to say about all the other shit you wrote besides don't think too much about it because I'm pretty sure getting diagnosed with something really bothered you and thats it.
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Wow! I believe you. I think you're In a degree of metal instability that some just are unable to delineate yet...but really who knows? I could be just like you. I just use the realistic approach to life.
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>>17315113

yeah, well that's what the psychologists say, or somewhat imply with body language. And I'm holding back.

>>17315116

"realistic approach"
Are you implying that I should kill myself? I won't. I could kill other people though, but I don't want to have my autonomy severly limited.

But to have a girl that has put herself in a situation like that, and to have almost been raped, it makes me feel disgusted by her....
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should I take my dad's car and go have fun or should I stay another night at home wasting my life.
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what would you do for fun

the world is endless boredom and despair for most, goodnight.
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dubs decides: go out
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or you could go out wasting your life or stay home having fun

it's not so black and white

just do what you enjoy, does the location matter? if you wanna stay home you can invite some friends over or chill out with a book in a bath, or if you wanna go out, you can do whatever, you know?

A person in my household is selling cocaine, they're selling it in my mailbox, what do I do?
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>>17315052
Intercept.

Snort.

Good times had by all.
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>>17315060
Ummmm no, I'm going into law enforcement when I turn a little older, no
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>>17315052
intercept

cook it into crack

make money money make money money monayy

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What makes guys respect a woman? Not attraction, but respect. What makes guys look up to a woman?
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Not being a whoer
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>>17315013
>What makes guys look up to a woman?

if they are better than me at what i do
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>>17315013
Having her shit together. Everyone's always such a fucking mess.

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There's a dude at work who I want to kick the shit out of for being an arrogant little douche. How do i make it happen without going to jail? I don't care about losing my job.
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>>17314988
you don't. only the mentally weak start fights
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>>17315010
How do i get mentally strong then
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>>17315010
thank you hungry skeleton

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What are some decent hobbies I can get into, especially ones that involve being outdoors?
I live in a city,so no hunting and fishing. I have enough money to start a new hobby, and need something to do while I'm looking for jobs.
pic semi related since I considered learning to skateboard but I'm an adult
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Longboarding it's like skateboarding but why more mellow if you like cruising
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>>17314992
Way*
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bbuild skateboards, write, collect

My girlfriend of 1 year and a half just dumped me last night. How do I stop thinking about her?
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>>17314986

you dont. you drink a lot, you do some feel threads, you watch a movie that makes you sad, you tell your friends you need a fun night to forget, then you spend all night talking about it.

you get one week to be a sad sap. one week to be 'meh'. then week three is your steady rise to finding fun without her.
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It's been less than a day so it's natural you're going to be obsessive over her. The only thing that can be said it's that it will get better in time. The first couple of weeks are the worst. It's been two months for me and even now I still think about my ex every day. However, it doesn't hurt anymore at least and I make the effort to not cyberstalk.
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It's better than having your dog die. My wife left me and my dog died within a month of each other. If I could have one of them back, if choose the dog.

>boyfriend of 2 1/2 yrs is going to a concert tomorrow (I was not invited)
>concert is an hour a half away in the city, while we live in a small town
>found out he is planning on taking drugs there (first he was trying to get shrooms, now it's either molly or ecstasy)
>flat out asked him not to do them, as it makes me uncomfortable with him driving while on drugs, also 99% sure his fuck boy friend is probation
>he told me I take the fun out of everything he does and that he's doing it anyway
I haven't done anything more than weed before, is it even actually safe to drive on this shit? or should I not care and tell him to fuck off for being so rude. Or I guess there's the possibility I really do take the fun out of everything (jk). But srsly what do, how do drugs work
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No, it's not safe. You're not being unreasonable and he seems like an immature cunt.
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>>17314978

nah depending on what he takes its dangerous. ur not being unreasonable.
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>>17314978
>I guess there's the possibility I really do take the fun out of everything (jk).

No jk. You are taking the fun out of it for him. I won't argue pro-drugs or not pro-drugs, but telling him he is not allowed to do something (other than obvious shit like cheating) is not how relationships work. If you don't accept him in whole for who he is and what he does, dump his ass. But you have no right to force your values on him.

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So I'm past my mid twenties and haven't been intimate or had any woman express interest in me. I started online dating and that really just exacerbated how bad I was feeling.

I picked up going to the gym, eating better, running around and getting in shape, I'm just 5'10 200, I'm not huge but I'm overweight, I don't have a belly or anything and I'm normally decently dressed and have pretty good hygiene. I want to meet someone and it's really crippling to my sense of worth. Today I had a particularly bad encounter.

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>>17314942
Man, I'm in the same boat as you so I don't think you wanna tale advice from me...
That said, it sounds like you're doing things right. Try not to get too frustrated or mad and keep trying. From what you've said you sound like a cool dude, and if that's you in the pic you look handsome enough, man. You'll definitely click with another soon if you're actively looking.

Hang in there man.
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>>17314942
You're taller than me, so that's a plus. Women are a numbers game. If you can, try to meet girls IRL. When i was single, I found online dating kind of crushed my spirit
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>>17314965
By the way man, you armenian?

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This could sound really strange but you must help me

First of all i have all kinds of obsessive thoughts on my mind since my childhood

The thing is i had spent my night with an escort women, but after she is gone, i realized that her physical body type exatcly look like my mothers so i felt really disgusting

So what do you think now i do not want to see her for a while, because i can not decide about i am sensible or not because i can never think something like this in my life, she is my lovely mother
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you're aware of the oedipal complex OP?

having feelings/noticing things like this is completely normal and healthy dude. Just don't overthink it.
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I know where you are coming from OP. I have had a few dream where I've had sex with my sister. When I wake up I'm completely grossed out and obsess about how I'm not attracted to my sister. Sometimes when I see her I have to go over in my head that I'm not attracted to her. I think that kind of obsession is pretty normal.

If it's causing you a ton of distress so much that it affects your everyday life then you should talk to your doctor or w/e about it.
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>>17314957
I know that myth but it is not related with me, bullshit sorry

>>17314961
But i fucked real women so it make me think that if i think same think about her, my mind is stucked

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Guys this is the 4th gunshot I've heard in half an hour. It's gotten closer.

Do I call the cops or hope it goes away? Genuinely worried for my life here.
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>>17314937
If you don't know the cause of it, chances are you aren't directly involved so the gunman won't give a shit so long as you aren't in his way.

>Lock door
>Close Blinds
>Turn off lights
>Google "how to speak black"
>watch more Star vs. the Forces of Evil
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>>17314946
I did the dumb thing and looked outside in the direction the shots were coming from. A car sped out and drove away. I hid behind a garbage can.
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>>17314953
Congrats!

You have successfully become a witness and the gunman now has reason to end your stupid life you!

Is sending an apology email to an ex you treated badly in the past when you were a bad person a bad idea if you still want them but they're bad for you?
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>>17314922
An email?
Seriously?
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>>17314934
I don't have his number anymore and he's not on Facebook.
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>>17314936
Just do it and get it off your chest, you will feel better

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