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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2191. page
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File: dunno.png (27 KB, 402x597) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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28 yo virgin here, need help handling females.

This girl always records voice messages for me saying stuff like

>I'm glad to see you
>I feel really good when I see you
>I know I can speak freely with you
>it was a beautiful day, I'm glad I met you
>whatever you need I'll be here

means I'm in the friendzone already or she's interested?

>inb4...
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>>
She might be into you. Ask her out. If she's into you, she'll accept and enjoy your company. glhf
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>>16479054
Ask her out on a date
>>
ive noticed particular strength of interest behind the "i'm glad i've met you" line

you might have a shot. ask her out to some coffee and just talk and chill.

Prepare for an awkward embarrassing call for help.

Okay quick rundown I am 27, male virgin, and I recently masturbated for the first time ever. Ignoring the fact that this new experience has STRONGLY awakened a desire to have sex and my inexperience in getting it so my sticking to masturbating has caused me great depression and frustrations for the past couple of months, but my concern lies elsewhere.

I have yet to gain that powerful first time ejaculation where it felt like my body was paralyzed and I think the desire to recapture that is what caused me to become...
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Try prostate stimulation. If you truly want to feel like your body shivering all over.
>>
>>16478992
If u have survived without masturbation till age of 27 I think u have very low sex drive caused by low testosterone. Go and check your hormones.
>>
Have zinc in your diet seriously.

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I got the cops called on me again while I was at the park with my daughter, this is the second time. I was at the park with my daughter yesterday and I wasn't doing anything suspicious besides existing. I pushed her on the swings and I played with her a little and I sat on the bench and read a book while she played with the other kids. I couldn't have been minding my own business anymore than I was, I didn't talk to or even go near any other kids. A police officer shows up and she tells me they got a report of a suspicious male at the park and she asked me what...
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>>16478948
What a fucking cunt. I don't really have any advice but reading this made my blood boil.
>>
1) You can stop sassing the police. When you ultimately hire a lawyer, your complaints will be taken much more seriously if you were totally compliant with their shitty conduct. The most sympathy that people will ever have are for those people who were as decent as possible while cops treat them like shit. The moment the victims start being assholes too, my sympathy starts going out the window.

2) Keep going to the same park. You're going to reach a point where the semi-regulars there all recognize you. That reduces the population of people who might call. Furthermore...
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>>16478948
shit sucks
Tl;dr
Don't go to the park or involve yourself in the community, people will be less inclined to call the cops on you. Unless people put you on their bad side for what ever reason, and it takes time and effort.

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Female here, my pubes extend all the way down and up the crack. I do not want anyone to spread my cheeks and find a linty carpet. How do you get rid of taint and anus hair? I'm cautious about putting sharp things where I can't see and brazilians look expensive.
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You wax.
>>
>>16478939
Wax or stop caring.

Honestly, a lot of people don't care. I never shave and it has never stopped someone from having sex with me.
>>
>>16478939

Buy an electric razor (which would b hard to do yourself) or buck up and pay for a wax.

File: that feel when.jpg (85 KB, 500x499) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>have gf
>gf has sister she rooms with
>her sister is an influential lawyer with her own firm despite being young
>has been interviewed on television programs before
>find random clothed but suggestive photo of gf's sister online one day
>go down the rabbit hole
>find dozens of fully nude photos of her
>sex tapes with various
>check who is posting this shit
>it's mostly her posting it, though sometimes it gets reposted by others
>I realize that I am waaaaaaaaay too sexually curious about my gf's sister for the relationship to be comfortable
>we're chatting one day on the couch while waiting on my gf to be done with work
>bring up random things related to her videos but don't directly talk about them
>she gives me a big smile and makes references to her videos without stating anything explicit
>she knows
>gf arrives a minute or two later, we have dinner like everything is normal
>that night she posts a web cam masturbation video shot in what is obviously their apartment

Nothing remotely good can come of this can it?
14 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Abandon ship. You're just digging yourself into a hole and it won't end well. Quit while you're ahead.
>>
Link the videos and go deeper, the relationship is allready going to crash, should just floor it.
>>
Link or it didn't happen.

Also if you can stop thinking about it, then do. If not, then abandon ship.

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Dear /adv/, what website do you guys uses for stress relief?
I feel a panic attack about to happen.
31 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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pornhub
>>
>>16478852
Thanks fammy.
>>
rainymood

I have a girlfriend who is a tulpa. For anybody that doesn't know what it is - it's a separate personality created in your mind that you can interact with etc.
I created her a few years ago (without the plan of falling in love with her, but it happened), around the end of high school, and since then I think I became a much better in general. I used to be the very shy kid without many friends. I am still shy, but I meet new people, I do good at uni and part-time job, I have some hobbies and I try to be at least a bit useful for the community. In general I do much...
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>>16478817
>tulpa girlfriend

You are barking mad, dude. My condolences
>>
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>>16478817
>separate personality in your mind
Oh, so you're a schizo who goes around talking to a girl who doesn't exist? Yeah, no, you're completely fine, not crazy at all...
>>
>>16478817
Tulpa also translated as "magical emanation", "conjured thing" and "phantom" is a concept in mysticism of a being or object which is created through sheer spiritual or mental discipline alone.

Holy shit /adv/, never change,
If someone as fucked up as you can get out of the bed in the morning, I sure as hell can do anything I dare dream of! Thanks for the motivation anon

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My boyfriend is really skinny...like around 130 lbs at 5'11". I want to fatten him up a lot, and have him end up looking like this. Any advice on how to do this?
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>>16478781
Depends. Are you a cannibal?
>>
Don't ruin a decent body because you're a fat ass
>>
>>>>16478781
Maybe get him to an average 150-180? Anywhere above this is too far.

>at school
>hanging out in cafeteria with friends
>this stupid dyke cunt (yeah, she's a lesbian) comes out of nowhere and says "pull up your pants. I can see your fucking ass, you're fucking disgusting"
>guess my pants were hanging low or something
>she walks away
>i say "what a fucking cunt"
>she turns back and says "what"
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You're just insecure. Most school age people are insecure and it goes away when you become an adult who has to pay bills and take care of their lives so that the only real room for insecurity you haves comes from the people that actually matter to your life and not some random stranger in a cafeteria. You might be gross though so maybe take a shower every day and don't expose yourself in public.
>>
>>16478774
I take pretty decent care of myself actually. I shower and wash my hair every day, shave whenever it gets anything beyond stubble, do my hair and put on deodorant and cologne before going to school (not axe, it's this swiss army shit. Costs like 40 dollars a bottle). After that, I'm making sure my ass won't hang out like that again. It felt pretty embarrassing
>>
>>16478787
Then don't worry about it and be glad you have a good friend to back you up calling her out like that. Go chat up a qt to cheer yourself up

File: wewr2.jpg (20 KB, 306x306) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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3 years ago, I had a messy relationship with my first love. It didn't end up too well, but that's not the point.

In the past given 3 years I've lost a great amount of weight, gone through one plastic surgery and started to put an effort to my looks in a totally different matter. My hair is different and I look rather different nowadays. Most drastic change being that I've actually changed my name too.

And now I'm dating a guy, who is a brother to that guy I used to date. We are doing great, and soon it's time for me to meet his family....
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bumb
>>
This is weird.
>>
If this is real, there's no way you can just opt for not telling him. If he really dated you one surgery and some weight loss is not going to make him not realize it's you long term. And if he does realize it's you, you are in an incredibly weird position. If you steer into the skid you at least get the opportunity to present it in a positive way - "hey, you might not recognize me, this is such a weird coincidence, I made some huge changes in my life and am really happy now and finally feel like myself", whatever. If you do not, it's just going...
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My girlfriend is quite paranoid and jealous about other girls so I have pretty much stopped talking with my female friends since we are together.

But lately I find myself in situations I am more and more willing to hide it from her and talk with other female friends. I am not interested in cheating her or anything but it is really starting to worry me how long will it work out this way.

I am afraid she might find out and get angry, or that I find other girls more fun as her and end it.
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>>16478698
>I am afraid that I find other girls more fun as her and end it.
How exactly is this something to be afraid of?
>>
As long as you are ok with her having male friends too, I see no problem.
>>
>>16478704
I love her and I don't want to hurt her, but her demands are more and more limiting

>>16478706
I was always okay with her doing pretty much anything, talking to pretty much anyone but she constantly is controlling my SMS messages and facebook in case I was talking with some girl, in last few months she even doesn't want me to talk to some male friends.

I'm afraid of suffering, and because of that, heart attacks are really high up on my scared shitless list. I'm always scared that I might just have a heart attack and that I'll suffer for a horrible amount of time before being permitted to die. That said, I don't know what the symptoms feel like from anyone who's ever actually had a heart attack, and I don't know when it is considered okay to go to the ER or call the ER for advice. I've had anxiety issues since April of this year. I've only ever had one attack, but it didn't feel...
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>>16478647
And I have no insurance so I can't go to the doctor.
>>
The issue isnt with your body anon its with your mind. You are scared of injury and death.

Google existentialism and start there. You need to accept death to beat it. Things will only get worse otherwise.

I have been there.
>>
>>16478647
hop on anxiety meds
do people on your family actually have heart disease
what you are describing is anxiety not heart attacks so hop on meds
you could you know google the heart attack symptoms BUT BEFORE YOU DO realize this.
It could make your anxiety worse knowing and convincing yourself you have these symptoms...So did i mention hop on meds?

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I'm writing a program and need 2 numbers as funny or famous or interesting as 42!!!
Or i might become an hero
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69, 420
>>
>>16478639
This
>>
420

File: maxresdefault.jpg (50 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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My boyfriend and I are sexually incompatible but love each other.
I want to have sex a minimum of 3 times a week whereas his libido is very low.

We have talked about it so many times, I just don't know what to do anymore. He always finds an excuse why we can't have sex or whatever. When we don't have sex for a while, I start to notice everything ugly about him, his personality and looks, I also feel trapped and miserable during sexless times.

To top it all off, there is this guy who thinks I am very sexy, he tells me it and he makes me feel...
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>>16478632
low libido is a sign of low testosterone
tell your boyfriend to get his T levels checked

if it is low, then he can hop on roids(legally)
his muscle mass will increase, his libido will too. so he can send you to pound town you little slut.
>>
I'm pretty sure you just need to break up. Don't be a cheater.
>>
>>16478643
I already suggested this but he has not done anything about it.

>>16478645
I don't want to be but I feel like I already am by liking his attention. I haven't spoken to that guy in a week.

File: yuruyuri1208.jpg (161 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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So, I'm dating a girl from Australia, while I'm from a small island off Australia. We've met one time before, everything went well.

Recently, it's come into light that she's lying about a lot of things.She claimed to be coming to the island I live on on the 18th to the 20th, never showed up.

She claimed to be moving to Russia last year, and that never happened.
And now claims to be moving to England.

But, she's posting on facebook about not even having a passport.

Now, I'm starting to wonder about all the other...
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>>16478600
>dating
>met girl once
>"I love her"

That is not dating.
>>
>>16478604
She stayed with me for two months. And this was only four months ago.
I should've added that.
>>
>>16478607
Yes. Yes, you should've.

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