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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2152. page
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File: mouth.jpg (857 KB, 1296x1334) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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How to be funny. How to make people laugh.
Are there any good books about it?
13 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16503945

No. Seriously.
>>
>>16503945
Stand in the middle of a crosswalk, when people honk you, wiggle your butt to the honks.
>>
>>16503945

Be around funny people- learn their skills by watching them closely

That's how I got to become moderately funny. Reading good and humerous books helps as well.

One thing though: what most people think is funny is often very base and plebian. So you will have to stoop to a lower level of intellect to connect humorously with the masses.

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So, yeah, the title says it.
In the future I'll be in a relationship with a boy who fully considers himself female and behaves completely as one.
We've been chating for a couple of years, seen each other, he fell in love with me and will be coming to me from another country to live together.
So, what can go wrong in such relationship?
I know it's gay af, you don't have to yell that in my face.
If someone had such expirience, I'd love to hear advices and stories. Much appreciated.
11 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16503795
Do you love/like her too? If yes that's all that matters, I wish you two the best of luck.
>>
I strongly recommend living with someone before establishing a relationship. Especially if they fly from another country. It is a very very bad idea. You should only move in with someone as a couple after dating them extensively for a long period of time, six months would be preferred. I'm talking about dating face to face, not talking over the internet. You are setting up yourself for failure.
>>
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>>16503826
Yea, I do. But I know for sure it won't be just like with any other girl. Also, picrelated bump.

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Me and my friend are on a double blind date with these chicks. what do?
12 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16503629
>chicks
>>
Wear body armor and bring a bottle of pepper spray
>>
sniff petrol and go to dreamtime.

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My mom said that vaccine causes autism and I need to have some one verify that it's not true pic not related
12 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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If she says harvard isn't a valid source then you've lost her.
>>
Ok
>>
Tell her that it's normal to be misguided because there is a lot of false information floating around. Tell her that you won't judge her if she happens to have read or heard misleading information. Tell her that you just happen to have read information that contradicts it. Tell her that it's better to compare information just in case. Show her the information, printed or as links.
Ex: http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/concerns/autism.html
ex: https://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/new-meta-analysis-confirms-no-association-between-vaccines-
Tell...
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Sup /adv/,so, tell me, what did you dream about last night?
23 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Had a panic attack before I could get any sleep. Didn't dream because I just passed out after several days of inadequate sleep/eating. My last dream I can remember was about my boyfriend who left me and his gecko. His gecko suddenly exploded with babies and his tiny tank had like 20 geckos in it. That's all I remember.
>>
Dreamt about a girl who rejected me 6 months ago

Lel
>>
>in a resort with friends
>zombie outbreak, first we gather just the stuff we need need then take a safer space
>lose a few people I don't remember
>finally escape the zombies who don't look really scary at all, and barely resemble zombies
>get into a huge mansion where the right side is forbidden, the person that greets us is a girl I briefly dated but she cut contact suddenly
>in...
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I'm currently training in the martial arts and I feel in a poisonous environment that's full of ridicule. I was called a faggot (i honestly have no idea why, it came out of nowhere) by one of the instructors and I feel very offended and singled out. I like it there, I like the people I train with. It's a more laid back environment where there's shit talking and cussing. This isn't the first time something happened to me like this before, one of them made a comment about how I stunk in one class and it bothered me because it was only one time and my cheap...
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37 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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I would talk to the head sensei guy about it.
>>
faggot.


In all seriousness, I played team sports as a kid and bantz is a big part of said culture. Just learn to have some fun with it man, dont get so offended.
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>>16501968
Fuck no, no gym should ever talk to their students that way. Get the fuck out.

┬╗Assuming it's not a high school team in which case everyone talks to everyone that way┬╗.

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I feel like I have to choose between being good looking and everything else.

Men don't pay attention to me unless I'm wearing makeup. But when I wear makeup I can make $1000 stripping on a Friday night.

I have a high IQ, ADHD. I take a long time to do things and generally don't like to be told what and when to do things. I like to let my interests come and go naturally. I've always been a procrastinator.

First two thirds of a semester I will spend time to look great. My professors loved me because I would get amazing grades, show genuine interest in the material and even privately correct them during office hours.

During the last third of the semester I burn out. My grades slip from the high 90s to the low 80s. There will be a time that I go bare faced to school because I couldn't spend 20 minutes on makeup when I have time restraints, or because I look SO tired that I actually look better with my glasses on because it hides my eyes a bit. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE LOOK OF DISAPPOINTMENT ON THE FACES OF MY MALE TEACHERS WHEN THEY SEE MY FACE WITH GLASSES AND NO MAKEUP.

I quit school because there's no point in going when I feel tired and look ugly and can't socialize as well when I look so different than the image people are used to.

I guess my plan now is to keep stripping and spend my money on an ADHD life coach and plastic surgery. I will also follow people while they do their jobs to get an idea of what I would be comfortable doing as a long-term career.

Pic related. It's Jennifer Tilly. I'm part asian and I sort of look like her except with big far apart Britney Spears eyes that swell up and look like vaginas when I get tired. I look very adult. Non-neotenous.

Should I just... give up? Start a new life as an average looking woman?
57 replies and 11 images submitted. Click here to view.
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post a face picture with no make up. Your probably not as a bad as you think you are.
>>
>>16501853
You're overthinking things. Speaking as a pretty girl in STEM, I don't believe that most of those things happened to you. Like I said, you're likely just overthinking things mixed with an insecure personality.

If you care so much about what men think of you, you are going to have a bad fucking time. Do what you love, give no fucks about what people think about you. It's worked for me so far.

>non-neotenous
+1 for that, are you a bio major?
>>
>>16501853
>I quit school because there's no point in going when I feel tired and look ugly and can't socialize as well when I look so different than the image people are used to.

Holy fuck you are a cunt.

School isn't for looking cute and socializing it's for fucking studying.

Just be a stripper or whatever, I dunno what you were studying, but it's shit like this that makes me feel that women should not be in allowed in the professional world.

I...
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File: 1381295194790.jpg (69 KB, 500x544) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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We live together, we barely have sex because of this and other things (his friends come over, the landlord's kids come over, etc.) Today he found out he wasn't scheduled to work, while we were on our way to drop him off at work. So I said, "well... maybe we can do something together?" and he suggested going to the movies, but I don't really want to spend money to go to the movies... so I said "we could go home and play video games together." We downloaded a 2 player game for the ps4, and we were playing it... he got mad at me for doing badly,...
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(cont}
..And, now... our damn water does not work. We have talked to our landlords about it, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what to do guys. I love my boyfriend, but he's ignoring me for a game, doesn't fuck me, doesn't romance me, and violates my privacy and constantly accuses me of shit.

The other day he bought 4 phones for 20 dollars a piece (originally 80 a piece) he has told me that they are for his family and friends, and he's gonna sell them marked up. But really, who does that?! What if he has a hidden phone used...
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>>
run
dump the fuck out of him
he is a narcissistic fuck who doesn't love you
>>
run nigga

File: 1400971084350.jpg (121 KB, 720x960) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I've been doing some really weird shit lately, but I don't trust anyone irl enough to talk about it. Long story short

> Be me, moderately attractive (or so I'm told)
>Match chicks on tinder
>Chat them up, flirt, whatever
>Be moderately interested in them
>Have them invite me over for sex
>Immediately lose interest, stop replying
> Repeat

It's...
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15 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
You're better off OP. I caught 2 STDs from fucking girls on Tinder, and I used condoms.
>>
>>16501746
HA ha ha. Nooo, please tell me you're joking right now. I've heard tinder is a soul sucking pit of shit, but is it really that bad?
>>
>>16501411
You have low self esteem and look for attention. You are a male whore.

File: Ezekiel_2517.jpg (48 KB, 513x350) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>be me
>have hot cousin full of tattoos
>very close. Talk about sex all the time.
>want my cock in her.

How do I start a secret sexy time relationship with my cousin so I can cum on her face, and fuck her asshole.
Two of the things she has flat out told me she enjoys. Halp.
Picture not related.
57 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16500087
You get psychiatric help. If that doesn't work then hang yourself.

Nice bait by the way.
>>
>>16500087
How do you start? it seems like it already started.
cousin incest isn't even real incest
>>
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>>16500096
Don't think I do. Also not bait. Very much want cousin.

>>16500185
Yeah, we've talked about what we like, and sometimes she seems like if I asked at that moment, it might work; but she maintains this wall, where there isn't much physical contact. She also gets angry very easily and don't want her to cut me out and tell the family. She also hates one of our cousins who tried to see her in the shower, she hates him for that reason.

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I just want a girlfriend who will love and support me and be a partner. Too bad I'm a fucking vampire who's awake from 10PM to noon.
And I have a ridiculously small niche desire set as well as the conviction to never settle.

I've had love before. It was so warm and sweet and wonderful.
Why did it leave? Why?

Yes this is a gf thread fuck off
255 replies and 32 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>I like grill
>Pretty sure grill likes me, I just have to make more of an effort to get closer

>Girl is very reserved in terms of relationships, word is never had one
>My entire sexual history is slutty girls that made it very easy to approach

HALP
Uncharted territory

I really like this girl and it would be nice if I could sleep with someone that would actually stick around the next day
>>
I hate my life. I hate my daily routine. I hate school. I hate my job. I know I have to do all this. The worst thing is, the only thing I can think of that would be worthwhile to live isn't feasible. I just want to stay home, sleep when I want, research things I'm interested in, leave a language, create music, drawings, breed fish and reptiles, grow plants, take pictures. I wish I could devote my time to my passions. But it feels like I have none. The soul has been sucked out of me. I have no drive, no energy, even on days off I can't bring myself to do things...
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I fucked up with a girl that I really would have liked to date. I put too much pressure on starting a relationship that she wasn't ready for. I would care for her so damn much if only she would let me. Why do I feel so needy for affection from girls, is my self esteem really that low I need constant reinforcement that I am not a complete failure.

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i'll just leave this here...
255 replies and 16 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Oh i wish i cpuld tell u how much i love u. Maybe we will meet again my love. Our youth together was somethin i will always remember. What ever path u take in life inhope ur happy. I just wish maybe one day well meet again and we can walk down that path together.
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>>16495751

HAHAHAHAHAHA GAY
>>
You should wear a condom

File: 1390477547705.jpg (24 KB, 276x280) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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So I'm looking into getting into the lineman career because of the rad benifets and pay. Thing is, its dangerous as fuck and I have people that care about me. Any lineman here that can give me insight on the job and what I should expect?
14 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16504624
Which team do you want to play for?
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>>16504655
Fuck I should clarify I mean a high voltage cable repair/installation utility worker
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>>16504673
I was joking. It is dangerous. But I imagine you have to be highly trained and skilled in what you are doing. Skill and experience with the right amount of fear will make it less dangerous.

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Not looking to write a fucking story, I have not cried in something like 3 years. Its driving me nuts, I just want to cry. Sugestions? Pic unrelated.
14 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>16504616
Cut up some onions then rub your eyes with lemon juice. Crying without the sadness.
>>
What people find sad is subjective so I couldn't tell you.
>>
Are you single?
Kill a family member?
Not single?
Kill your partner.
Problem solved. Tears guaranteed.

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Would it be possible?
18 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
it's possible, but only if you manage to not care about anything

as long as you care about things in your life you will have emotions
>>
become a vulcan
>>
>>16504604
So a better question would be how can I suppress all my emotions?
>>16504606
That would be tight

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